• Published 15th Apr 2022
  • 3,169 Views, 44 Comments

Your Own Fault for Leaving Fruit Out - Lotus Moon



Anon...you left fruit out? Oh no....

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6
 44
 3,169

Strawberries~

The day was beautiful out. It had been some time since Anon was suddenly thrust into this world of pastel talking ponies, mythical creatures, and sometimes world-ending dangers. But he was accustomed to things now. And the same can be said vice versa. When Anon suddenly appeared, ponies were terrified of the strange bipedal creature. But after half a year, his existence became as normal as seeing a neighbor every day.

Spring was in the air and so were the scents of ripe fruits. This was a time Anon enjoyed since he used this time to stockpile on food that would last him into later months. Before his sudden shift in living, Anon worked in a company that preserved food, specifically fruits, in different ways. Some of the methods he used were shared with fruit farms such as the Apples and Cherry Jubilee. The efforts of which were appreciated by all who sampled it. From fruit chips to jams to dehydrated snacks, ponies liked how Anon introduced them new ways to eat fruit.

Whike walking through the market with his wagon, Anon took a deep inhale and savored the scent of spring fruits. Mango, cherries, kiwis, pineapple, oranges, apricots, and his favorite strawberries. Anon loved strawberries as much as anyone else. He'd always get them when he can and divide them up into portions for each preservation method to eat later. But the best way he loved to enjoy them was as they were. And fortunately for him, this year's haul was big and juicy and at the peak of ripeness. The sales pony greeted him in a jovial tone and thanked him for his advice on how to grow and harvest this year's crop. Staying humble, Anon just rubbed his neck bashfully before being given on the sample. One bite in and Anon felt his world freeze. The strawberry was rich with all the sweetness that exploded on his tasebuds. To him, it was full of all the love and effort poured into its cultivation. So much so, he couldn't help but praise the sales pony for a job well done. As thanks for the praise, the sales pony gave Anon his usual portion of strawberries plus a little extra. He placed the strawberries carefully in the wagon and went on with his day, collecting more fruits.

Little did he know, there was a shadowy figure watching him.


Upon reaching home, Anon got to work moving his sweet haul into his home. He placed the other fruits in the living room in sealed barrels. His first priority was the strawberries. Anon wasted no time portioning out at least five portions to preserve for late consumption, leaving a mixing bowl full of what he would slowly snack on while tending to other things during the day. Taking a big whiff of the ripe red berries, he smiled. "I can't wait to enjoy you." He then began his process of preserving the portioned goodness. The first batch was prepped with drying to be used in lunch later in the week. The second batch was stored in the freezer to be enjoyed for winter as well as a summer smoothie or two. The third batch was canned in a few mason jars. The fourth batch was laid in a bed of honey to be pickled. This method was a new one to him and while it worked better on apples (which also produced sweetly mellow cider) it worked well on strawberries too. The fifth batch was thinly sliced to be placed in alcohol to produce a pure and tangy beverage.

While slicing for the fifth batch, Anon hears a swishing noise. It was quick and shouldn't warrant his attention, but he decided to check it out. He came out of his prep room and looked around. All seemed right in his home. Nothing was out of place in his immediate sight. He walked around, checking to anything was amiss, and enjoyed the gentle breeze flowing through.

Wait...breeze??

Anon looked to his window and saw it was open. He was sure it wasn't earlier. He looked around and still couldn't find anything. The sound came again, this time sounding like it was upstairs. Anon made his way up there and looked around from his bedroom to the bathroom to the extra storage room he has. Nothing! Was he going crazy? Was he spending too much time focused on work and not socializing? No, he took plenty of time off and socialized often. But then why couldn't he-

SWOOSH CLANG!

The sound of wet slurping and munching came from the kitchen. Anon went to there and stopped dead in his tracks. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Sitting on his kitchen floor was a black mare with bright strawberry red hair. She looked like a pegasus but her wings were leathery and her ears were floofy. She was a bat pony! He'd never seen one before. As much as he wanted to marvel at the sight, his face was twisted in horror as the unknown mare was savagely and messily munching the entire mixing bowl of strawberries! An unsolicited squeak left his mouth, catching the mare's attention.

The two stared at each other for what seemed like a long time. He noticed the mare's eyes looked a bit derpy and crazed as she chewed on a strawberry currently in her hooves. There was so much strawberry juice covering her mouth and hooves, they looked like a murder had happened. Not breaking eye contact, she continued to eat. Even as Anon dropped to his knees and looked like a child who had his favorite thing destroyed.

"Why?" He asked as the mare finished her stolen snack.

The mare proceeded to lick her hooves and mouth clean before walking to the window. She then looked to Anon and said "It's your fault for leaving it out." Then she left the same way she came.

Anon, sighing heavily said, "I'm locking my windows from now on."

Author's Note:

Not my best work...I think. But hope you enjoyed it.

Comments ( 44 )

would a sequal where anon gets the bat stuck in fly paper after she tries to steal his fruit again

11212653
Oh that is a interesting and funny idea

Do you want bat ponies? This is how you get bat ponies.

11212656
bat ponies and fruit bats

Why is it every bat pony story I read involves fruit, or Harry Potter Thestrals...

Probably cuz I love the vo concepts so much but this is really getting out of hand...

(Adds to bookshelf and gives a thumbs up)

11212691
Cuz they're cuuuuute

the art makes this hilarious.

Okay, that was cute. :heart:

awwwwwww too cute thank u 4 the story

You know I kinda want to see this be expanded upon like a full story based around the human and bat pony

This is the most demented pony I've ever seen.

The pony who eats my strawberries gets the shotgun.

At least they weren't mangoes, Anon...you don't want to know what happens when bat ponies eat mangoes...

...you don't want to know...

11213890
Oh....she'll be next~

Maybe I'll do a story where Anon has to deal with both of them

It could have been worse...

cute.
found this The sound of went slurping and munching [ wet ] ????

The difference between me and a fruit bat is that I don't stop sucking if you slap me.

EDIT:

Oh, wait, this wasn't a naughty fic. Umm... Let's go with "That was a strobbery!"

11212656
*opens windows and puts out bowls of fresh fruit* M-maybe. (I can hear the cover art..it goes EEeeeEEEEEEEEEeEEEE!)

11214489
Now there's an old reference.

11214098
lol...and I'd love to read it!

At least it wasn't mangoes.

Try strategically placing some veggies around your house, works like a charm.
derpicdn.net/img/2020/2/20/2279621/full.png

What a fruity fruitbatpony! I am also surprised that she didn't pick up a crowbar before leaving out the window! :pinkiecrazy:

11214625
Thats all I am a giant web of references and random computer things.

11215363
I'm pretty sure that's a cucumber in that picture. It's either a cucumber or a pepper. Both are fruits. I know they're culinarily considered vegetables, but botanically they're fruit.

11212653
No, no, no. Fly paper wouldn't work. The bat pony would just whizz on by. Fly paper is called fly paper because it traps flies. We need bat pony paper.


If it wasn't obvious, this is a joke. I saw the comment about trapping the bat pony with fly paper, and immediately thought of Earthbound/Mother 2 and how the zombie outbreak was solved when a kid inventor invented 'zombie paper' with fly paper as the inspiration. From there, it pretty much wrote itself.

It’s not the batpony’s fault, she wanted the fruit and she ate the fruit. He shouldn’t have left it where she could get it.

When in the company of a bat pony, do not leave fruit unattended on a table/counter-top.

The mare proceeded to lick her hooves and mouth clean before walking to the window. She then looked to Anon and said "It's your fault for leaving it out." Then she left the same way she came.

"It's your fault for leaving it out."
Wait, leaving it out, while it is inside his home.. no respect for property here?

11214489
Hey...YOU! You stole my idea! I want the batponies to come to MY house! I'M leaving out MANGOES!

11215690
CLEARLY...there's a bias towards batponies here...

...just sayin'...

...but still so CUTE!!

11216901
Save some Baps for the rest of us

11216958
Of course there is, because batponies are objectively cute and adorable and we should all love them and give them our fruit.

derpicdn.net/img/2022/2/18/2809368/large.png

11217833
Oh! That FACE!! How could ANYONE say no to that face?!

I'm dyin' over here!

11217833
I have some canned pineapple I would be happy to share with a cute bat pony. :twilightsmile:

From fruit chips to jams to dehydrated snacks, ponies liked how Anon introduced them new ways to eat fruit.

Because goodness knows the Apples didn't know anything about jam. :ajbemused:

I feel this would've fit better in the Fluff category. There's not much genuinely amusing about it, and you give away the punchline in the title of the story. Plus, given that the human isn't behaving like greentext incarnate, I see no reason why you couldn't have given him an actual name. Still, thank you for it and best of luck in the judging.

When Anon suddenly appeared, ponies were terrified of the strange bipedal creature. But after half a year, his existence became as normal as seeing a neighbor every day.

that does fit ponies being selectively very afraid of different species and also just kinda chilling with one-offs like Iron Will hanging around

Anon loved strawberries as much as anyone else.

aww, wonder if he's met Strawberry Sunrise

The fourth batch was laid in a bed of honey to be pickled.

ooh, that one sounds really cool! i would love to try it IRL

No, he took plenty of time off and socialized often.

i mean i would too if i got to socialize with ponies instead of humans

Anon made his way up there and looked around from his bedroom to the bathroom to the extra storage room he has.

dang, this guy really likes his preserved fruit!

He noticed the mare's eyes looked a bit derpy and crazed as she chewed on a strawberry currently in her hooves.

oh no, she has the madness!

The mare proceeded to lick her hooves and mouth clean before walking to the window. She then looked to Anon and said "It's your fault for leaving it out." Then she left the same way she came.

all of the lyrics of "Bats!" are just fast-forwarding themselves in my head

Oh, give me a break, you're bein' too kind
These creatures have a one-track mind
The orchard is not their restaurant
But do they ever think what others may want?
No! They don't! And that is just a fact
These bats, they simply don't know how to act

and you know, the song does have a point when it comes to this bat in particular. very rude, she is!


a cute little story, thank you for it!

11214386
Did you just say you always suck?

11302399
You'll get it when you're older. :twilightsmile:

11302440
:rainbowlaugh: Touché. Damn, now I'm nostalgic about the times when banter was a normal thing online.
Most would just blow me off for being nu- rude. Glad you didn't bite. :raritywink:
Eh, couldn't come up with anything better.

A sassier Anon would have said its her fault for breaking and entering. Many pejoratives would also be added to the retort in question.

11438431
guess I'll stick to narrating stories instead of writing them

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