Ever since Twilight blew back into Canterlot and insisted on becoming friends again, Moondancer’s life has been...better. Still not great, years of isolation can’t exactly be overturned overnight, but she is going outside more often at least.
One thing that is slow going, though, is getting her hygiene back under control. She had been doing the bare minimum for her mane and fur and unfortunately it was finally catching up to her…
That doesn’t mean she’s happy about getting a pity coupon. Moondancer is just going so she doesn't waste a gift. She doesn't really want to go. Honest.
CW - Heavy depression themes, self harm/self harm scars, and unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Written for the Quills and Sofas Passion for Fashion contest with the prompt ‘faux pas’ and presented here with much expansion (this entry is over 5k words more than my original contest entry lol). Thanks to everyone who read and commented and helped me edit afterwards - you guys are amazing!
Cover art by me! (If you are an author looking for cover art, send me a dm!)
I might need a new bookshelf for this. The others feel inadequate.
Indeed. Thank you for sharing this part of yourself.
Well written. Everything described in detail enough to paint the picture and sound the mood. Story pacing is good and the plot gets rolling after the setup. Neat.
It is very real long life problems don't get fixed by the magic of friendship, but that the efforts to work trough the problems.
Personally I've never been so down as to hurt myself, but close enough to want things to end and to let go of taking care of yourslef. Still this was kind of a stroll down memory lane so thank you for the retrospective and hope to see more of your work
Well done!
As someone who's struggled with self-harm addiction for most of her life (and with way too many stories about it lmao), I can definitely say you portrayed it with the realism and respect it requires. Most stories about it on this site are hot garbage, so finding something like this is always refreshing. Thank you for writing it
Also the cover for this is great, you're the complete package huh? \o/
God, what I wouldn't give to be able to go someplace like this. You've hit the nail on the head, here, and handled a delicate matter realistically and with empathy... and reminded me that I need to take better care of myself, too. Some days it really is just that hard.
There might be a need for correction in your author's note. You've not written your life here in this story, because you've written mine as well, along with many others I'd imagine. Though I know that's not how you meant it and you know I'm meaning it as a tongue-in-cheek introduction to my comment. I want to touch upon a few points and then go into them in-depth. First, that Moondancer's self-image matches my own so reading her thoughts was like hearing my own, albeit in a much less malicious form. Second, the manifestations of depression as we see them come up through Moondancer. Third, the feeling she has of being lost.
When Moondancer blushes at the mere mention of her own name being called, or being called lovely here or there gives rise to a familiar, almost lost feeling, cut very very deep into my own status. I described it to my own therapist as though I felt secondary. Anything I say can be destroyed simply by someone challenging it, and anything I do is barely worth mention, but the actions of others are feats of amazement, however small or large they may be. This is all to say that I get overjoyed when people simply mention me, and start tearing up when people compliment me, and that I know precisely how Moondancer feels. Like, flattered by a mention, and almost baffled at someone admiring them.
From this, I can say that this view of self-esteem leads to the decay of self-care. I feel that way Moondancer does here, I feel, that I recognize the need to do something about my condition, but both the lack of motivation and knowhow to even do so. With her appearance, she could barely muster the strength to maintain it, and for myself, it's still an issue. Why would I need to take care of my hair when I just put it out of my vision and refuse to look in a mirror? Why shouldn't I wear that sweater I've worn for almost three weeks one more day? So what if my skin's dry and cracking in some places and has blemishes in others? Why should I seek help? I don't see anything wrong with this. The sort of mental tricks she plays are the same I play on myself, and it's almost like trying to fix that goes against how I see myself. Further, why should my home be any better than it needs to be? I can walk to where I need to go just fine, and I'm gonna take out the trash and do the dishes tomorrow anyway so what's the big deal? I'm secondary, why should I put effort into being better than that?
Moreover, Moondancer questioning her place in life near the end, like she was almost aimless, hits me incredibly hard too, and I believe I phrased my own feelings on this as, 'I feel like I've been climbing a house of cards, and upon reaching the summit, it would collapse unceremoniously.' It's not uncommon knowledge among those who know me that I read an absurd amount and that my devotion to studying at my age is almost unheard of. And I often catch myself questioning why I'm even reading anyways, and then comes the question of what am I doing with my life as a whole. With my autism and inability to work very much, I don't feel like my position in life is much higher than where it is, so I settled on reading and writing to improve myself in my low position while neglecting appearance and exercise.
This was all to say the ways in which you've perfectly encaptured the experience and mental state of someone with depression, and going further, that you've applied your own experiences to Moondancer seamlessly, and beyond that, masterfully wrote her. I've truly seen no better depiction of Moondancer than the one you've wrote today. But more than that, you've managed to combine both of these into an incredibly relatable piece, of which, I spent most of this comment saying how I related.
I want to stress too that this piece is paced perfectly, and its premise is something I don't think can be improved. It accomplishes more in the first few introductory paragraphs than a lot of stories manage in their entire length. It's a painful story, but its pain is subtle and never an explicit open wound. Moreover, it doesn't linger on the wound, it recognizes it and then gently treats it with the care it never received, further, that it didn't think it deserved. Moondancer called it a pity coupon, but really, it was a voucher for a better life. One she didn't think she deserved or knew how to reach.
With simple colors, you've painted a masterpiece, with few shots you've hit every mark, and with a few characters, you've left a lasting impression on me. The little things like, 'a friend-turned-enemy logic' and the little aggressions Moondancer had to almost every action she took coming from a place of overlooked self-loathing were incredibly real and genuine, and I must point out that this entire story was like this. Even the story's namesake, her sweater, was a perfect representation of her character and the mindset I laid out. Coming into her treatment, she was a touch embarrassed by it, but otherwise didn't think too much of it. Like she recognized it was abnormal, but not so much that she'd get a new one. That it was frayed and scratched at her was as though she was wearing her condition, and that's a feat above most. A perfect metaphor. And by the end of the story, recognized she needed to get a new one, moreover, that she was going to go with her friends to get it.
On technical terms, your story was long but didn't linger. It said just as much as it needed to, leaving subtle things here and there that, when given thought, blossomed into beautiful flowers around the frame of a gorgeous painting. You've done a fantastic job with this story Snow, and it resonated with me so relatably, I had to read most of it through glassy, teared-up eyes. Seriously I cannot commend you or this piece enough.
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Because I’m overwhelmed with all the positive responses I wrote a blog post as a big thank you and I’m sorry I couldn’t write individual responses to all of you but this is making me really emotional and just ahhhh thank you
Snow, this one is a mark of inspiration. Very well done.
I haven't read this yet, but the title alone made me think, "What does one do when their life is a freyed thread?"
Now I really wanna know what Moondancer's life was like, and I think you're gonna fill in some of that gap.
The entire problem people have with the first is that it's a subcategory of the second.
Read it and it was good! 👍🏽
I like how you conveyed her issues while not making it overt.
Well done.
Either I am reading too many fics but I can't help but feel that I read this story before. The "Depressed pony goes to spa" premise.
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I’m not surprised there are already stories with similar premises, there’s probably even a couple featuring Moondancer too. It’s the unfortunate nature of fanfiction, and even more so with the somewhat limited nature of canon FIM characters; there are going to be stories featuring the same themes with possibly even the same characters, but that doesn’t make mine or any other story any less good or valid. Creativity is hard and there’s really no such thing as a completely original concept anymore
I can't put it into words as well as Ruby did, but the story really struck a chord with me as well. It made me realize how much of a similar position I'm in compared to Moondancer - though I can't say I've self-harmed, at least physically. This was a great read and you handled a tough subject really well. Really makes me wish I could go to such a place. You should be proud of this story, Snow. Nice job.
I haven't gotten far enough in the show yet to have hit the Moondancer episode (it's coming up). I only mention this because despite me not knowing the character (beyond the E1 mention), this story did an excellent job of making me care about her. There's the weight to the piece that it needs, but it never becomes overbearing.
Excellent work overall, and thank you very much for sharing it with us.
Greetings. Your reading is complete and can be found here. I hope you enjoy.
I really loved this story