• Member Since 6th Sep, 2020
  • offline last seen 52 minutes ago

CitreneSkys


I...may or may not be obsessed with Changelings at the moment uhhhh-

E

Fluttershy is a normal pony living a normal life. Sure, saving the world once is an achievement, but other than that she was content with the life she has.

But when she finds two abandoned changeling nymphs, her life is quickly turned upside down. Now she cares for young two creatures she knows nothing about, and they don’t seem to trust her.

She is determined to give them the best life that she can.

Chapters (12)
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Comments ( 130 )

Aww! Great start! Can't wait to see where it goes!

Interesting start. I'll be tracking :twilightsmile:

Very interesting beginning, I'm looking forward to seeing more.

Awesome. When does it takes place? ( During Season 1, 2, 3, or 4?)

10530830
Like...near the end of season one (probably after Stare Master)

So this is basically during season 1 because you mentioned something that the Cutie Mark Crusader went to the everfree forest to look for the chicken okay that's cool so apparently Fluttershy found two changelings name thorax and his brother pharynx but it looks like they don't have nowhere to go so Fluttershy took up the opportunity to take them to the Cottage thorax looks like he can trust her but unfortunately for pharynx he's going to be a little trouble but I'm sure Fluttershy will figure it out this is pretty interesting I wonder how this will go can't wait

10530855
Cool this is a very interesting start to your story can't wait to see how that will work out

This story seems great I can't wait to read it :D

10530855
Given FiM's somewhat... unique concept of time (Season 1 through the Season 4 opener was one year?!? We have to reshuffle the episode list to make Season One fit into a single year!), I have to ask, how long will it be between chapter 1 and the Wedding?

10531249
The better question is how in the world do they got themselves out of the hive without Chrysalis and the other changeling on notice

10531285
Migration mishap, separated during a "pass or die" training mission, Queen Cheese Legs kicked Thorax out in this timeline and Pharynx stuck by his exiled brother, and that is just off the top of my head. I'm sure the Author will tell us in due time.

Love this idea. Thorax and Pharynx are my second and third favorite changelings

10531414
I can pretty much guess who your first favorite is. :raritywink:

Mmm, this could be interesting I’m liking it so far.
I gotta ask, are the brother’s simply aged down considering this is season 1 and the wedding (where Thorax is fully grown) can’t be too long away or do changeling just grow up extremely fast. No need to answer if it’s spoiler esc just wondering

Splendid job on this AU story. Admittedly, I am wondering how Thorax and Pharynx managed to get away from the hive without Chrysalis finding out, but I suppose THAT answer is for later. And, yeah, I DO love the detail of this taking place VERY shortly after "the Stare Master". I have absolutely no doubts that the two will get all the love they need (and then some) from Fluttershy and (most of) her animal friends. What I'm wondering is the aging rate of changelings. Even if you go by the "one season equals one year" rule in this universe's timeline, that still seems like a short time for Thorax and Pharynx to grow up. Granted, many insects and arachnids age at a much faster rate than normal people and certain animals, but we have no way of knowing if that's the case here.

Anyway, definitely looking forward to more of this.

10531487
Oh yeah, def aged down

10531721
Cool, thanks for answering

10531414
I guess Ocellus is your 1st favorite chanceling 😁

Oh hell yeah I can't wait to see more of this

Aww! Heh, Fluttershy's going to be a good caretaker for these two, I can tell

Why did the set the timer that's supposed to go off when it's ready instead be set to go off after the fish was burnt?

One gripe aside I still enjoyed it.

Well at least Fluttershy got thorax to trust her at least but pharynx he's going to be a tough one to get him to open up which he stated he never really in to this whole lovey-dovey stuff but I'm sure Fluttershy will figure it out and maybe in a few days maybe they can open up what happened to them

First chapter I’m curious and I would love to see this story grow to something great so good luck.
Just a suggestion for 1 paragraph confused me so some constructive criticism below

Without much of word, she made us he’d open her front door, stepping out of her cozy cottage.

Am I just not reading this part right? Feel like an auto correct messed up on this paragraph...Mostly since it’s saying “US” open the door for her...

“Without much of a word, she went to open her front door, stepping out of her cozy cottage.“

That feels like it has to many commas now but sounds better I think (Could be wrong though since not much of a story teller/writer)

“Leaving him to finish his breakfast, she left to go out her front door of her cozy little cottage. Taking a deep breath of the fresh morning air, she headed off to the creepy forest toward Zecora’s hut. Although The Everfree Forest wasn’t as scary anymore since her encounter with the Cockatrice.“

Your part just confused me abit. Edit version of that paragraph But, like I said not a writer so some small errors I think I did as well.

Overall I'm questioning the begin of the story...like everyone else it’s the age difference. Think you should have gone before season 1 maybe few years if you plan them to be older later on for the reform changelings. I just feel like they are around CMC age or size at least. Maybe they do age faster and after wedding they are like late teens maybe or something idk.

DON’T GET ME WRONG it is YOUR STORYTELLING so if you want them to be like CMC age about then that’s fine it’s an AU and it doesn’t need to be following the original timeline. After all I could be wrong and it will be great with what your planning with them fast aging or say drag the years out little more. Heck they can be Kids and help reform changelings as that if you wanted to. Maybe they mature fast but still are Kid size IDK.

Good luck again though and going check 2nd chapter see what happens next

10532352
Oven was too high temperature so could have cooked faster or maybe fish was smaller and cooked faster anyways? Lots of reason really, after all it’s not like she used a cook book for how long to cook the fish. Got plenty reasons why its over cooked a little that all could be logical.

Picking up the smaller big-pony, she gingerly placed him......trotted the rest of the way.

Typo “Bug-pony”

He shot dangers at her, turning away. Thorax prodded at his........

Typo “daggers” Or maybe it was a “dangers” look

Think Pharynx is doing good for his character development. Not trusting anyone but he is putting it aside a for his brother to make sure he gets the help needed. Kinda hope it’s a slow buildup that he tolerates Fluttershy since he only sees her as a food source for Thorax and himself before truly trusting her. Only bring it up since rather that relationship take a few weeks or months before he truly cares for Fluttershy as well

Interesting setup for this character with minor issues that’s not including the spelling errors I pointed out early. Minor things that break the pace but not really a bother since it gets its point across

Aww. This was a downright adorable character. Great work on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I loved the two young Changelings' reactions to Fluttershy's cottage and hospitality as well as Fluttershy finding out a bit more about Changelings. Yeah, I AM glad to see that Flutters is, at least, making headway with Thorax (though Pharynx is going to be a tougher sell, at least at first).

Certainly looking forward to more of this.

Awww... this is the most cutest story after very not having one, I GONNA TRACK THIS STORY!🔥🔥🔥🔥👍👍👍

Okay Twilight, take things slow. They're too young to know much of the stuff you're asking. Well, Pharynx probably knows, but he's not talking.

Aww, such a good mother. Good job Fluttershy

Excellent job, again, on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up. Greatly enjoyed Fluttershy explaining as much as she could to Twilight before she met Thorax and Pharynx and then Twilight HERSELF admitting that she might have gotten a bit too excited about meeting (to her) a new species and asked too many questions. But still, glad Twi is taking this so well for the time being.

On to the next chapter.

Again, a downright adorable chapter. Greatly enjoyed Fluttershy getting Thorax and Pharynx ready for bed and then singing Pharynx a lullaby (thankfully, it worked a lot better with Pharynx than it did with the Crusaders [though, as you said, this time, Sweetie wasn't around to snafu it]).

VERY good job on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up and I am DEFINITELY looking forward to more of this.

Nice story. Added to my read list.

“C’mon, what’s the worst that can happen?”

Umm thorax I know you're young and very curious changeling but that's called tempted faith

Ok Twilight I know you're very excited for knowledge about new things but you got to come down they're just kids but at least thorax open up to questions again pharynx it's just having some trust issues and I guess because he's in a new area that he's not familiar with but I wonder do they know that their brothers well I guess we'll find out next

Aww that was so adorable 😍 you know I know that pharynx is still having some really bad trust issues but at least he can sort of let Fluttershy sing for him this was very cute chapter but I still wonder what happened to these two how did they escape the hive are they going to ever open up I guess we'll find out next time

cue the canterlot wedding invasion.

Like this So much!!!

10533824
Not yet because those two are still kids

Eh, a few errors, a traitorous barricade...

But overall, really enjoyed it!

*Loud inhale*

HUSH NOW, QUIET NOW-

Oh shit, wrong place and time, sorry.

Aww, sweet little chapter indeed. Thorax and Fluttershy are really similar, it's nice to see them interacting. (Also let's hope and pray that Zephyr doesn't come visiting sometime soon. Though Mr. And Mrs. Shy would probably love the little 'lings)

Children are hard to write

Fluttershy sighed, letting the two of them eat. Trotting up to her door, she took a look at his to-do list.

Small gender typo.

Still interesting where this story is going. Going Check some other story’s you completed and f those brothers. Should be interesting read.

“I have to be at Rarity’s by three...” she noted, looking at her clock. There was plenty of time before that needed to happen. Then her eyes landed on a pair of potted flowers still in there containers.

Ohh are they having their spa date together

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