Agony
...How long have I’ve been sitting here...?
Pharynx wondered to himself as he sat on the windowsill, looking out into the field below him. From his perch, he could see a wave of grass dancing in the breeze, several blades of green glowing yellow in the sunlight. Judging by the color and hue of the golden rays, he’d guess that it was about noon, give or take.
He closed his eyes, wanting to forget his existence. Nothing felt worth the energy anymore, and he could feel his mind slowly slipping from reality.
Not that he minded...maybe it’ll give him a moment of peace.
He sat in the empty room, save for himself. Watching Thorax’s face as he left the room made Pharynx feel queasy, but he pushed past his feelings.
Thorax didn’t need to see him being an absolute mess.
...this is completely pathetic...the ‘most promising changeling in the hive’ now reduced to a moping pile and chitin ...probably serves me right...
...I hope Thorax is having a better time than I am...
...he wasn’t the one who hid under a table, of course he’s having a better time...
“...heh...I guess Thorax is braver than me,” he muttered, his voice cracked and broken. His tone saddened as his ears flattened against his head, feeling even more worthless as those words escaped his throat. “...does he even need me to protect him, anymore?...he has Miss Fluttershy now...she probably won’t harm him...”
Bringing a hoof towards the glass, he slowly pushed outwards. The latched loosened, a small crack allowing the summer air to waft through, and he sighed heavily.
No...no, I can’t leave him with her...not alone. What if she hurts him? What if her friends decided to hurt him? What if am not around and he dies somehow?
No, I can’t leave...I can’t leave...
...he needs me...right?
Pharynx shakily brought his hoof down from the partially opened window, stepping down from the windowsill. Light clicks could be heard as he trotted aimlessly around the small bedroom, kicking the pieces of his healing cocoon around.
“...I’m being delusional...he probably doesn’t need me anymore...he has friends...Miss Fluttershy...Spike...probably the others from yesterday...”
A burning mess of emotions was threatening to break the walls he had built up around himself. He winced as a small migraine began to work into his head, but he pushed himself past the pain and nausea.
He couldn’t even describe what he was feeling...anger? Fear?...Envy...?
No...those words were too simple...
...fretful?...resentment...?
...agony...
Even amongst all the tangled vines that fought their way through him, agony stood out the most. It made his stomach sink as sharp bursts of it try to shove him to the ground.
He’d tasted agony before, back at the hive. When he wasn’t to one inflicting on those who touch his brother, it was from Thorax himself. The spicy bitterness always wafted off of him whenever the younger nymph would come back with a new burn mark or gash in his chitin, and it was almost unbearable.
This was that times ten. It started slow, at first muddled by other emotions that tried their best to tear him down. It stalked its way through his tangled emotions, fighting its way to the top.
He flinched as a migraine seared through his skull, drawing in a thin line of air. His wings buzzed out as he stumbled into a bed leg, recoiling from the collision.
Best he could, he scrambled onto the soft mattress, fight both fatigue and nausea as he curled onto a pillow. His entire body shivered as he tried to close his eyes, a pounding sensation threatening to break his skull open.
It was pure agony.
...I was right, his thoughts pushed through forcibly as if they taunt him. His pulsating crest stood on end as he tried to push away the strings that were tearing him down from the inside, causing his headache to worsen.
Thorax has others in his life now...
He doesn’t need me anymore...
He doesn’t need me...
Thorax tried to recite everything in his head.
“I’m pretty sure this is a burn spray, right?” He asked tentatively, looking up at the winged mare. Fluttershy smiled, nodding encouragingly.
Taking a more confident breath, he recited what each item in the first aid kit was. “I’m pretty sure you called these bandages,” he pulled out the adhesives he’d saw Fluttershy used for Pharynx’s cuts. “Thermometer...painkillers...cold and hot packs...”
The list went on as he pointed to each item, silently reminding himself what each one did. Once he finished naming all of them, he looked up at Fluttershy, smiling. “I think that’s all!”
The pegasus giggled at his enthusiasm. “Very good, Thorax!” She cooed, rubbing his crest with a loving hoof. “You have a real knack for healing, you know that?”
A shy smile crept along his face. “O-oh, I wouldn’t say I’m that good...”
Fluttershy sighed, placing a hoof onto his own in a comforting manner. “Well, I for one think did great. It took me a week or two to fully figure out what they were and what they did. You? Only a couple of hours! It’s something you should be proud of.”
Thorax blushed, the blood rushing to his cheeks tinted his chitin a dark blue. He wasn’t used to being complimented about...well, anything. It was going to take some time to get used to...
Before he could say anything, a loud knocking could be heard from the door. Three taps, both sharp and quick. Fluttershy stepped off of the couch they were sitting on, her eyes nodded towards him.
“That’s Rainbow Dash. I’ll be gone for an hour or two, okay?”
“Okay...um, where are you going?” He asked lightly, bouncing to his hooves. Fluttershy picked up a small, papery bag from next to the door, smiling at him.
“Just going to Sweet Apple Acres, but I’ll have to be there quickly. I promise I’ll be back soon!”
With a small wave, she opened the door. It left Thorax all alone in the room, seemingly with nothing to do. The young changeling twirled his hooves around each other in an effort to stay occupied, to avail.
Sighing, he looked up the ascending stairs, a staircase that had been unused since earlier that morning. Pharynx hadn’t come down for six hours, and it worried Thorax.
Is it smart to bother him? He might be mad...
...six hours is quite a while...
“...what’s the worse that can happen?” He murmured out loud, trotting over towards the stairs. His wings buzzed lightly as he climbed the stairwell, an uneasy feeling filling his gut.
Emotions filled the air with a dark cloud, almost enough to repel Thorax back down. Whatever Pharynx was up to, he wasn’t happy, at all.
After the painful trek up the stairs, Thorax lightly tapped the door. “...Pharynx? Are you okay?”
His brother didn’t answer. Increasing worry made him push forwards, clicking the door open despite his brother's lack of permission.
Pharynx laid on top of Fluttershy’s bed, curled stiffly. The younger changeling pushed past the strong sensation in the air, lifting himself onto the mattress.
Red and violet chitin seem to shiver as Pharynx buried his head into the pillow. Now that Thorax was closer, he could feel the underlying feeling of nausea that emitted from the older nymph, filling the cyan changeling with alarm.
“Pharynx? Are you sick?” He asked, frowning as Pharynx flattened his ears. Perhaps he was too loud...
“...please tell me...?”
...
The red-hued changeling didn’t answer. Sighing, Thorax pulled a small blanket over Pharynx’s body, tucking him in as Fluttershy did every night. Just something to make his sickly brother more comfortable.
He ran a hole-ridden hoof along Pharynx’s spine, brushing against the red-changelings crest.
‘Brushing the crest can help soothe changelings when they are uncomfortable,’ he remembered one of the healers saying. He liked the healers, they were relatively much nicer than his instructors.
Pharynx viably relaxed a bit, his shivering dying down significantly. Thorax sighed in relief. Hopefully, the distraction will help...
“...Pharynx?” He started in a soft voice, making sure he wasn’t too loud. “You should have told me you weren’t feeling well...you know I’m here for you!”
No response, not that he was expecting one. this time. He sighed in content, happy to just stay here for the rest of the day.
“...I love you, Pharynx!”
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Aww, poor Pharynx, sweet little Thorax, taking care of his big brother. Great chapter!
I've heard of being "worried sick", but this is ridiculous!
Again, the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are all wonderfully done. I can definitely see where Pharynx might think Thorax didn't need him anymore and might even feel a great deal of emotional pain because of that, but I DID really like Thorax and Fluttershy showing that he IS appreciated and, if he HAD left, they would be worried sick.
Most assuredly looking forward to more of this.
It is indeed troubling when you find yourself useless. Oh the joys of being independent!
Here's to hoping Thorax can refill that confidence and purpose. The goal isn't the end, it's to be always journeying..
Hold it right there Pharynx. Thorax may be in a better place now than he ever was, and he may not need your constant protection, but he does still need you. You're his brother and he'll always need you, and don't you ever forget it!
Oh pharynx don't say that of course he still need you you're the only one he has as a family any truly cares about you no matter what happened don't do this to thorax
Fluttershy will never hurt him pharynx I know you still don't trust her but you have to give her a credit and she means it that she will protect you and thorax
It looks like they're doing a surprise party for Pinkie Pie cool
Awww poor pharynx he's going through a lot of emotion right now thinking that thorax doesn't need how many more that he felt like nobody doesn't need him and he felt a lot of pain and agony he doesn't need him which it's not true thorax still need you buddy and I know it can be very hard to believe but it's true anyway it looks like Fluttershy and her friends are doing a surprise party for pinkie pie so she's going to be gone for a while but thorax wanted to see how his brother is doing despite he told him not to bother him he still wants to make sure he's okay and that's pretty cool of him and all they do is lay down on the bed to make sure that he doesn't feel alone way to go thorax this was a pretty nice chapter sad but nice keep up the good work and I can't wait for the next one
There’s gonna be a moment where Thorax shows that he still needs his big bro. Hopefully.
10636693
Indeed. In fact, I have a hunch/hope that Fluttershy's maternal instincts concerning Pharynx and Thorax will be even stronger than Discord's brute force brain-washing, which will be proven in a few months. :-D
a amazing chapter
He’s sharing love boys, he’s gunna become a green deer very soon me thinks
10637677
Exactly and I felt like Fluttershy has the strongest willpower to resist Discord mind game when he tried to corrupt her even though he cheated jerk
Way to integrate the canon into the story!
10636868
There's gotta. They both need each other of course.
Callback to the first meeting with Spike?
No amount of friends can replace a family member. I hope Pharynx gets to learn it soon…