11346627
Broadly, pretty good. Although I do feel like the stuff at the end with Sombra's takeover being fake is a bit of a cop-out and that mind-Sunny came to save the day a bit abruptly. Even if the stuff at the hospital afterwards was heart warming, it still felt anticlimactic.

11347746
Based on what you said, "Plotbuster" is an apt name.

I'll be honest, I don't know much about laws and such. I'm not a cop, lawyer, a judge, or the people who make the laws in the first place. I don't even watch cop and/or court shows much. Not even the parades of them. My best hope was to do my best at writing a story and hopefully, it sounds realistic enough to fool the average readers, not the experts.

One can probably find fault in any fictional work if one looks hard enough. I don't have it in me to write perfection yet, and even if I did, it is subject to the subjective opinion of various readers. My goal is to entertain and hopefully inspire with my writing by bullshitting well enough to sound realistic.

Not many of my written works touch on the modern era and this is probably why. it's too easy to call me out on my flaws in a world where others live in with me. On the other hand, in a totally fictional world, anything goes. The rules and laws of that world is written as it goes.

I'm well aware, based on the way you wrote your comment, that it was intended as constructive criticism and, for that, I thank you. Not many would go through the effort of genuinely trying to improve my work like that. While I probably cannot apply it to this story so late in the game, I'll keep your feedback in mind for future stories if I touch on a subject similar enough to this one.

Something else that I've been thinking about earlier is the story is good enough to be worth complaining about. If the average quality is high enough, the flaws stand out even more. Compare that to a different scenario where flaws are in the story constantly. If it's in there every single sentence, and sounds even worse when you put those sentences together, I think it grows to be too much to be worth complaining about. Nobody but maybe paid editors are going to want to comment on the flaws of every single sentence. it's just too much. So, if the reader continues anyway, I think they do it with a simple shrug and just lower their mental standards for that story. Kind of like just accepting that this story is written by the equivalent of some eight-year-old. When the story is evaluated by different standards, it changes what is considered acceptable thereof.

But, in this case, I'm gathering that my work sounds mature enough to be worthy of respect. That's good enough to care about noting some of the flaws detected so that they might not show up in future work. For that, I thank you.

11619377

There is some truth to that. Schools in general tend to change principles like dirty clothes. It is very rare for a principle to be in that position for a decade. At least from what I have seen.

I didn't know that. thanks for the tip.

11619395

Well with what was found on her laptop. Yeah it is a offense that you can go to jail for.

Cozy knew that. She's a smart cookie. However, in this case, her own actions are tearing her up inside. In fact, she's trying to sort of set the record straight with this school assembly. She took down Sunny reluctantly and she can't stand listening to the school bad mouth her even though it kind of makes sense with what Sunny is accused of.

Somehow I went from an unfinished story to here, which contained a similar plot. Now, it will be my first M-rated story that I have read in quite a while (and they are not just One Shots) the story seems interesting because the human world is a little more... gray than the black and white that is the world of ponies, maybe Cozy Glow will become evil due to the recent magic of CHS or just fight for their daily lives in a shitty world like most humans, after all, the greatest punishment for someone their age is to go to a reform school with a psychiatrist (who may not give a shit) until they come of age