An athlete like Lightning Dust is no stranger to doctor visits, and a nurse like Speedy Recovery is no stranger to receiving patients. It would take something pretty cataclysmic to throw them both off.
Or maybe all it takes is three bolded words on a psych results sheet.
This is an entry in the Snippet Series, an anthology of old oneshots I (and my good buddy Str8aura) wrote based around interesting pics I found. New ones will be posted every Thursday for the foreseeable future. If you like this one, check out the others!
Chapters (1)
I really enjoy how you wrote lightning dust here, most things I read tend to depict her as a rather one dimensional character.
*two
I liked the tidbit about Speedy Recovery's cutie mark.
This is a person (or pony) waking up a realizing they have a problem.
Good read and nice characterisation of LD. But why is this tagged as an anthology?
10160714 It’s part of an anthology series, but I thought the anthology tag was for an individual fanfic consisting of standalone chapters.
10160716
Indeed. Anthology -tag is only if your story contains several other, smaller stories under the same title. This is just one single story, and people looking for anthologies would erroneusly find this story and not the whole series.
10160504
Heck. Fix’d.
10160718
No good? All the other Snippets seemed fine with the Anthology tag, but I’ll go back and remove them all if need be. Don’t wanna make any unnecessary waves.
I mean, I'm not sure, what with how the autocorrect presumably mangled it, but I presume you were going for health nut?
10160858
I swear to Faust this stupid site's formatting is gonna be the end of me someday. None of the Snippets ever survive the transfer from Google Docs to FimFiction unscathed.
Thanks for the catch; it says 'health nut' now.
10160459
That’s because that’s how the show portrays her, and coupled with the terribly flawed writing of both Wonderbolts Academy and Washouts, I find myself in the devil’s advocate camp of this age old debate.
I did. I would also like to see more of this story, because character growth is my jam!
Felt like the first chapter of a longer story. I wasn't quite sold that Lightning Dust would break down so easily, but it was still a good read and the ending was very sweet.
I'm an experimental psychologist, Jim, not a physician!
I like the name "Speedy Recovery".
[Porn sax]
[Porn sax intensifies]
[Jazz music stops]
Narrator: "She was a stupid pony."
Referring to sadness or fear as emptiness ("The yawning emptiness she felt inside of her", "this hole in my soul") is a well established kind of imagery (it always reminds me of the line "I'm empty and aching and I don't know why" from the tiresome Simon and Garfunkel song "America"), but I wonder where it comes from. Speaking for myself at least, most emotional pain feels nothing like an empty stomach.
This was a really, really good read, and I actually agree with you. Honestly, her biggest flaw really is her lack of empathy and shortsightedness, coupled with her narcissism, which is more of a danger to those around her than herself, but said narcissism could end up being a massive issue for her down the line if she continues to feed her need to be adored by doing riskier and riskier stunts.
In one of my stories, I actually somewhat revisited the episode “Wonderbolts Acadamy”, and while I did follow the story plotline of that episode, I added something that somewhat challenged her issue of integrity, presenting her with a scenario where her narcissism and showboating becomes worthless in a moment where actions speak louder than words. Let’s just say, she failed while the rest of the Academy (those willing enough, at least) stepped in to save the day. She begrudgingly admits her mistake the something that calls her out on it, kind of showing she’s not a bad pony, but a very, very misguided and self-centered one, that has no clue how to even apologize properly.
Anyway, point is, this short of yours is good stuff.
10161334
This is likely old news to you, but the show writers did a dump a ton of scrapped material and initial drafts awhile back, including an abandoned scene of LD eating her humble pie at the end of Wonderbolt Academy.
I never much cared for the way the series ended with Rainbow Dash accomplishing basically every life goal without needing to work hard or sacrifice anything along the way. Meanwhile, Lightning Dust’s absence from the finale makes me worried that rocket stunt during Washouts killed her.
Somewhere between the two of them is a proper, compelling character arc. I’m certain of it. This fic was my attempt to tap a little bit into that “talented but deeply flawed athlete” archetype that never quite got a proper manifestation in canon.
So much character depth, I loved it!
(Don't tell anyone but secretly I'm a huge Lightning Dust fan)
Thumbs up!
10160459
Same, I mean there's no doubt she's a horrible pony by most standards with that ego of hers but her problem is she doesn't recognize she has that ego. After all, the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have a problem. The question is, would Lightning Dust recognize she has a problem?
10161438
Well, my cards are all abundantly on the table: I think after a few years of her life failing to make any forward progress, Lightning would get a creeping suspicion that she herself might be the common denominator in all her failures.
If it takes a lollipop-dispensing family care nurse to help her take the first step towards personal growth, so be it. The forces of Harmony work in subtle ways.
10161372
I don’t think RD achieved her goal with no effort. Sure, her talent DID carry her, but you gotta remember that LD was still a character foil to RD. While Lightning Dust was perfectly content on her talent driving her (and testing said talent), and showing off on how she can push the limits (stroking her ego as much as possible all the while), RD’s character arc through the entire show was more about learning that talent isn’t everything, and the Wonderbolts were more about teamwork, humility, and integrity (kind of like how military and emergency services operate). And getting in wasn’t the end of her journey, as she had to learn to accept her own faults and insecurities in order to be a better team player.
True, it was a shame they scrapped LD’s humble pie, but it also kinda makes sense in the long run. LD 100% endangered other cadets, and while RD also was a part of that moment, she also quick to save her friends from getting hurt and was willing enough to eject herself from the camp for the mistake, while Lightning Dust was fine as long as it was an “alls well that ends well” scenario, allowing her to boast about her skills. Like I said, I think it would take more (like the facts of her flaws shoved in her face undeniably, or being presented with a situation that’s beyond her talent) to get her to properly open up and take steps nessisary to help herself be a better pony.
As for Lightening Dust’s last episode, I doubt that team rocket exit did much to her. She’s a fully capable pegasus on par with the athletic prowess of Rainbow Dash, and is perfectly capable of stopping herself in extremely turbulent currents. The most damage her exit did was the damage to her ego. That said, she continues her own arcs among us fans, so it’s all good in the end (as you are proof there is potential for interesting stories).
Anyway, not trying to argue. I do like LD as a character, more or less as much as I like RD, and this story is still awesome.
10161448
That they do.
10161476
Yeah, I'd have to agree. Lightning is not a good Wonderbolts candidate for so many reasons, her ego just being one of them. She's way too reckless, a mirror image to Rainbow who eventually grew up. Lightning may never do that.
The pacing gets awkward when Lightning's behavior crumples. I did enjoy Speedy's internal dialogue immensely and the serious handling of mental illness here. However, considering some of the negative symptoms and behaviors mentioned (particularly promiscuity) there's no way that's E-rated content, and I was very surprised to see this in here since the story is labeled as E-rated. I would suggest a Teen rating for discussions like that.
I agree with the sentiment here 10161205 in that it does feel like the first chapter to something much more in-depth.
10161869
I’m always open to constructive criticism. Could you tell me where exactly the flow started to lose you? Like a specific paragraph or line where the wheels began to wobble?
If the mods demand it, I’ll change the rating. I for one don’t think vague dialogue is enough to bump a fic to a Teens Only warning. Then again, this isn’t my first fic that explores a mentally ill character, and compared to its predecessor I thought Three Bolded Words was pretty tame.
- Equestria Girls
- Drama
- Mystery
Sunset worries about Cozy Glow’s human counterpart. Is it wrong to suspect someone based on their parallel self’s sins?Also, apologies that I didn’t write this with any plans to make it into a longer story. A lot of the entries in this Snippet Series seem to get comments encouraging follow-ups, so I’m heavily considering implementing a pseudo-extended universe element. Maybe in the future a shakily rehabilitating Lightning Dust goes to a Wonderbolt performance and makes nice with Stock Image, a character from my Snippet from two weeks back. I dunno, consider this a staw poll: Anyone interested in me going that route?
*Sigh*
I want to like this. I honestly do - I wish that Narcissism was this easy to fix, that telling someone they've got an ego problem was enough to set them on the road to fixing it. But it just... isn't.
Not that it's impossible to either get a narcissist to recognize their faults or to help them, but it's not quick, it's not easy and it's not done without a lot of pain and aggression on the part of the narcissist. If anything, this kind of quick turnaround seems to indicate she doesn't have NPD (something important to remember - not everyone who's arrogant has NPD and not having NPD doesn't mean you don't have an ego problem). Which, if that was what the story was going for, that might be something, but it still just feels too clean and simple.
I like a lot of the first part of the story and I do appreciate the attempt to give Dust a better character than the show provided, but I'm truly sorry - it just didn't work for me.
10161907
That one is actually on my read it later. I'd disagree with the rating part though, considering 'nymphomaniacal' isn't an innuendo or sly nod, and there's more than just that word being mentioned once. It's discussed frankly enough and the meaning is pretty clear.
Around here I raised my eyebrow. When Dusty tackled Speedy and started pleading, that's when I felt like things jumped very far ahead of a segment of the story that just wasn't there.
Funnily enough, this is closer to reality than one might suspect. It's surprisingly easy for individuals to get misdiagnosed for nebulous psychological disorders just because people have two faces; the mask they wear in public, and their real face when alone. Even in a situation where you're supposed to be dead honest, like a psyche eval, the average person can't help but put at least a little of what they WANT to be, instead of what they ARE. Plus, the study of psychology is half-way towards voodoo and sacrificing chickens, so there's that. As a matter of fact, this reminds me of a part of an old book I particularly liked:
A good story in the end, I think you nailed the difference in between what both mares thought was going to happen, and what actually was happening.
10161907
Y̧̽ͦͅ ̴͕͕̰̥̉̋͊ͤ̾E͉̟̫̩̥̖̪ͯ̾̓̊̿͘ ͙̗̜͍͛͠S̸̟̳̭ͬ̾͐ ͇̆͌̑ͭͯͧ́.̙̎̊̉
10161288
Suicidal thoughts and feelings Of worthlessness and despair can feel that way.
And now I need a lollypop. :(
Aw, this was cute! I really like this depiction of Lightning Dust.
Be fun to see a continuation of this.
I've always been a fan of Lightning Dust despite her relatively basic characterisation in the show - it was never overly in-depth and so it's left to fan works to develop the rest of her character. The closest we get in the show is the brief part of The Washouts where she displays some initial friendliness to Rainbow, but that's about it. I have to say though, this fic does a great job of putting a proper personality underneath her character to explain things - even with just a couple of thousand words, it offers a really damn good reason why Lightning acted the way she did.
While a great story, I'm still annoyed that no one wants to take a look at the main cast like this.
We literally have a ruler and a despotic jigsaw with no redeeming qualities putting their personal agendas and plans before the entire planet but god forbid we attribute the negative traits of this caliber to them.
10161779
Honestly, neither is Spitfire by those merits.
She's manipulative, hypocritical, disregards regulation to further reputation and basically is non-existent until it makes her look good.
But I suppose being 'friends' with people in high places tends to make things excusable, and this fandom has a love for going 'They said sorry!' and then ignoring the dumpster fires they left behind.
Because god forbid you hold everyone accountable and don't turn a blind eye for your idles and friends.
10163531
10163542
Wow, you are a salty one. Like you have so much salt in your life I honestly pity you. It's literally in the name of the show. Friendship is Magic. It's not a complicated concept, forgiveness. So unless you're basically a terrorist or tyrant, like say Chrysalis, well, I think everyone in this show deserves some kind of chance. Yes, even Lightning. She just squandered hers by being a reckless showboating idiot.
10163572
So many side characters say otherwise.
And hey, your assumption and insults kinda prove my point.
Besides that by your own metric right there Celestia should be stoned like Tirek, Cozy and Chrysalis seeing as...you know...her actions met the same standards.
But hey, Friendship is Magic only applies to Friends in High-places eh?
Adding in: Reckless showboating idiot, compared to someone who routinely did the same thing in an entire town-when might I add the showboating idiot was in an Acadamy explicitly there to train those tendencies out and make it's wards proper soldiers.
Which it failed at when shown the slightest adversity seeing as the trainers should've been reporting the injuries and complaints about Dust to Spitfire.
But I suppose thats fine cause you like Spitfire more?
10163572
What, don't have a response to a basic concept of accountability?
I mean really, you insult me and then dip out, pretty clear how strong your own moral compass is at that point.
10163542
To be fair to the show, though, it usually requires more than just saying, "I'm sorry." Discord was still eyed with suspicion (and rightfully so, as events show). The CMC after the love poison get a heap of extra chores. Starlight became tied to Twilight to learn how to be a better pony, putting in a lot of effort (and also screwed up repeatedly along the way). And so on. It's just that the pony justice system seems to be more focused on rehabilitation than punishment, though punishment still happens for cases where the former isn't seen as possible. And part of rehabilitation is making up for your past acts, or at least, changing how you act from that point forward. I imagine Equestrian justice involves a lot of community service and mandatory counseling ;)
Which does mean if Lightning truly tries to be a better pony, ponies will let her try to do that. And if she makes enough progress toward that, they won't hold her past against her.
As to Spitfire, I think a strong case can be made for her being one of the most poorly handled characters in the show. It's a bit hard to buy her as an established and well respected leader of this elite military unit. Her character is basically abused for needs of the episode reasons. Though on the flip side, the nature of her incompetence does explain why the Wonderbolts are good at doing stunts and bad at handling actual emergencies... Really, they should just be restricted to entertaining the public and leave the real work to better qualified individuals.
10163648
Discord put the entire planet at risk to stroke Twilights ego-No excuse for that-and only got away because Twilight bold faced lied to keep the incident with Tirek off of him.
That's called corruption in most contexts, and the fact characters in the series have had their careers and lives ruined for years even for less really makes that a laughable concept.
Then theres the fact the Elements of Harmony seem more concerned with torturing things by isolating and mentally breaking them in some of the least humane ways possible(hello CIA redactions and war crimes), which then led up to Celestia, Luna and Discord, who orchestrated the entire fiasco, turning the three to stone for who knows how long while either trapping them in their own minds or leaving them aware to be mocked by every twit that walks past the statue.
Celestia put her sister before the rest of her nation. No excuse for that, even more so since she gave no information to prepare Twilight for that and literally threw her to the sharks, repeatedly in the series, with entire populations as the chips on the board.
They then proceed to bend and avoid the consequences for their actions constantly.
I'm sorry but if you turn a blind eye to that because you like the person and think they have a good heart I'm kindly going to deck you in the face and tell you to let every criminal in the system out on the same merit since someone somewhere "is their friend".
The rehabilitations only for the ones the Princesses like, or can use by who and what gets it in the show.
As for Spitfire, being mishandled unfortunately doesn't spare her from the fact that she had a ridiculous amount of leeway and multiple free passes that had others thrown under the bus for less-which would arguably make their characters handled even worse by extension.
10163672
Oh, I agree that Discord wasn't truly reformed, just wanted to be friends with Fluttershy. Though post Tirek, he did help free Equestria from Chrissy, so maybe the reformation is working (and in the more common "long process with setbacks" way, rather than the "instant reformation" route we see with many others.
And as to their punishment methods, well, lots of punishments throughout history suck. I imagine when dealing with a bunch of super-powered entities, your choices are a bit limited. I mean, Discord was stoned the first time, Luna got banished to the moon, Sombra banished into another realm, and so on. The only prison of sorts they have for truly big nasties is Tartarus, and that's not exactly escape proof. That said, all the characters that were eventually freed from their "cage" were not horribly traumatized by it. People in solitary for months suffer greater symptoms than we saw from any of the big baddies, who exhibit nothing from your supposed. So I wouldn't go calling it torture. It might just be the equivalent of being locked up in a Star Trek holodeck.
As to Celestia, that's a bunch of conjecture on your part. We don't know that Celestia could have stopped it from happening otherwise. We don't know that Celestia's aim was to free Luna from Nightmare Moon, even at the risk of the nation (and really, the world, since eternal night and all). Now, if the stones are the only way, and it needs a strong magic user as its center (and such strong ones are rare, so basically, it had to be Twi because Starlight was off hiding her abilities and building a cult), then what? If Celestia had told Twilight that she had to make friends so she could use the stones to stop Nightmare Moon, well, Twilight, with her poor social skills, trying to force friendships to achieve a goal... yeah, that would have worked really well. And that's the general trend with Celestia. She does gamble, but we never know if she could have handled it otherwise. And she does seem to be pretty good at predicting how things will turn out. Additionally, she's planning long term... she's testing Twilight with fire to see if she can stand the heat, before turning the nation over to her. That said, I do say "general trend" for a reason, and that's because of the "Crystal Empire" situation. That was just bad, with the writers having her deliberately give Twilight the wrong instructions just to see if she would disobey. She should have gotten a good smacking around for that one.
We also don't know that it is only for those the Princesses like or could find useful. Discord, well, he's essentially a god, so if you can turn him to good, that's just a good long-term play, because otherwise, sooner or later he will break free, and he will wind up ruling an area again, causing havoc. But beyond that, we have seen plenty of friendship problems solved that resulted in forgiveness without a princess involved. Heck, Starlight's cult village forgave her. Ponies want to be part of a big herd, I guess. Furthermore, Cozy was the one who essentially wanted to weaponize "friendship". The other ponies seem to be sincere in becoming friends (and/or helping others become friends).
And it isn't about criminals having friends. It's about rehabilitation. Bonny may love Clyde, but they're still going to rob banks and kill people, so they aren't going to get released. Dick Fellows, on the other hand, yeah, he would (and he was, multiple times, even in our punishment-focused system). And as to whether or not it would overall be more effective, well, you can ask the state of Texas about that. Yeah, Texas, probably the state you'd expect to be most "lock 'em up until they rot, if we can't just hang 'em" state in the US, discovered they had better results with a focus on rehabilitation instead of incarceration (for minor offenses). So maybe it does result in some baddies getting free that shouldn't, but if the overall result is fewer criminals and less crime, it's overall more beneficial and less costly to society. But we humans are dumb, and like the feeling of revenge and "Justice!" (think Akame ga Kill!'s Seryu) over effectiveness and results. Anyway, I'm not saying the system is perfect, just that we do have statistical evidence thatit works even in our own world And again, we also know that Equestria does lock people up, so the "they free everybody to commit crime again!" has no basis.
And yeah, as I said, Spitfire is a poor character in a lot of ways. She doesn't make sense for what they present the Wonderbolts to be. If they were just a stunt group, hey, it's like a college frat, and she'd fit fine. One could easily see her taking the Bolts to Florida for Spring Break right now ;) But they're also supposed to be an elite military unit of the Equestrian military, and in that regard she doesn't fit nearly as well (the paper pushing fits, but not a lot of the rest of her). But then, Equestrian society isn't perfect. We see traces of racism (the mule comments), xenophobia (fear of Zecorra), jerks holding positions due to birth (Blueblood), misunderstandings that turn into feuds (Hooffields and McColts, AJ's parents), and so on. So that they have some people in positions of power who are not really suited for the position, well, why wouldn't that sort of thing happen? Especially if the Wonderbolts are mostly judged by the PR aspect of their unit, rather than their performance during disasters. And even there, well, it isn't like the rest of the military has been shown as competent (heck, the movie is about Twilight and Co grabbing a few random pirates to stop an invasion, when apparently rounding up the Equestrian military or those of its allies wouldn't have been a viable option).
10163727
We know Celestia knew about these threats and did nothing but hurl Twilight at them, no proper plan B for any of them in any source-and we have Starlights time travel to show Celestia at best stalemated most of them despite this.
She had over a thousand years to prepare for all but one of them, or even do something about it in Tireks case either psychological or execution. She actively had look outs for the Crystal Empire coming back.
Still either did nothing, relied on the elements, or lobbed six civilians into the problem while doing nothing when the Elements weren't the immediate solution.
We know her military is useless, to the point of it being a canon problem That a 1000 year out of date soldier can call them on(I'm sorry but that can not be excused or even seen as anything else but gross negligence) and a running gag, so she certainly couldn't have been doing much to have a plan B if Nightmare moon had the common sense to kill the six of them before they even got to the castle instead of playing games.
I'm sorry, I don't care if the reformation is working, if you basically are blackmailing Satan himself instead of destroying him while letting him either A) do nothing against 99.9% of the threats you supposedly freed him to help with, B) turn a blind eye to the danger he's putting every living creature on your planet in, or C) actively reward him forming a terrorist organization that hurt people for the sole purpose of stroking your replacements ego I'm hard pressed to care if you end up in hell with him seeing as you certainly don't care about anyone else involved enough to protect them.
The Elements of Harmony can start going by Elements of Domination and quit preaching Kindness, Honesty, Loyalty or Laughter seeing as it barely pays them lip-service before going against them or picking and choosing when it represents it's own ideals.
We know materials and magic can render Discord a non-threat-ise them, you feel bad about it oh well, he's still immortal he just can't torture people for pure shits and giggles like the glorified sociopath he is.
And I'd say excusing all that for the 'testing' concept really does nothing, as Twilight-destiny or fate be damned because they certainly don't care about how many are made into monsters or killed for their plans-is not worth an entire country or even a single city.
Lives of the few for the many not a nation for a soul.
10163672
Lol, no. The only one who is capable of being aware while turned to stone is Discord. Every other being will either be asleep (S8:E21) or unconscious (S1:E17).
It's almost difficult to believe how many people get that wrong... But then I remember that people are arguing that eqg is canon because Shimmer-Glimmer was a still photo in a abstract background in The Last Problem, and I understand.
10163990
Till you have canon proof, and the show never directly stated it, I'll hold it's an option.
10163990
To be technically fair, the Sirens appeared in Starswirl's flashback so EQG is canon in some regard.
10164435
Just because the Sirens appeared in the show, doesn't mean they are the same Sirens as in EQG. Haven't you ever heard of an Alternate Universe?
Now that was a very, very good short story.
10164587
I dunno, even explaining away Sunset’s appearance in the finale curtain call and the Sirens’s appearance in the show proper, Glimglam met and bonded with Sunset in that one special, and in another special we had Sunset, Sci-Twi and the human counterpart of Rainbow Dash all faffing around as ponies in Equestria for a hot minute.
If you’ll forgive my ignorance of the opposing side this debate, I personally wasn’t even aware that there was an argument for Equestria Girls not being canon. To me, the two properties existing in overlap always seemed like a given.
This is a pretty accurate representation of a personality disorder, I think. I don't have Narcissistic PD, but I'm Borderline haha, and the whole just genuine not knowing something's wrong until its spelled out for you? Spot on
Hmm sounds familiar... So where were these mental professionals when Cozy Glow was still around?
I generally think of Lighting Dust being a bit more knowledgeable than this.
All that being said, this is a great story, and a surprisingly refreshing and honest look at a character I don't usually see a lot of talk about.
And another thing? I really love Speedy Recovery in this. As a mare who was out of her depth she was very relatable in this. Props for making me want to see more of a character that I had never read about before.
10163395
I second that.
10161907
I love that story! I guess I shouldn't be surprised you wrote this one too.
10164676
During the drafting process I tried fitting in a line that explained Twilight's "open call for nurses in Canterlot" was the result of her getting word from Sunset about human Cozy. It also would've explained why Speedy Recovery was so under-prepared to handle Lightning Dust's diagnosis; this being the Innocent Until Proven Cozy continuity, mental health awareness is obviously a new concept for Equestria, and they don't quite have the process down quite yet.
Speaking of Speedy Recovery, I'm so glad you liked her. Lotta other comments express sympathy for the patient, but yours is the first to acknowledge the poor beleaguered nurse had a tough time of this too. A lot of the Snippet Series OCs seem to resonate with people, and I'm seriously considering commissioning some artwork of a few. No idea what Speedy Recovery's physical appearance would be though (aside from her petite size and lollipop Cutie Mark of course). Any color suggestions?
As for possible future appearances of Speedy Recovery and this more penitent Lightning Dust, I mentioned in that comment you linked that an Extended Universe across the Snippet entries will probably materialize someday. Still got a good five or six backlogged Snippets before any new ones I write would roll out though, so apologies in advance if it takes a long time to get to those.
10161914
I'd agree with that. I also note that Lightning facetackles a nurse in a hallway(?) in the middle of what's probably one of the busiest hospitals in Equestria, and nothing happens, which seems... unlikely?
But you can't portray a realistic deconstruction and dismantling of narcissistic personality disorder in so little space and expect to keep everything, and that's fine, and the story isn't so bad, so here's a note for everyone who doesn't know instead:
Label or no label, don't try this at home.