• Member Since 22nd May, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

dirty little secret


I tried so far... and got so hard... but in the end, it didn't even matter at all. (Patreon)

Comments ( 141 )

so there will be more chapters then why is it marked as complete?

Hmmm... Stallion assisting mares with heat treatments during their season? Sounds like a serious Pony Resources SNAFU.

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Oops! Fixed that now.

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Well, that’s one way to say it...

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They’re definitely going to get some strongly worded letters to the manager after this...

Pretty excellent so far. Tracking this!

I actually really liked how this was handled.

Honestly, I think Aloe should have just told Star the effects of the herbs from the very beginning. At least that way, he'd know why he wasn't allowed in there and the opportunity would then never express itself.

Instead, Star didn't know, so he ended in a position with the opportunity, which he took. Had Aloe just told him WHY stallions weren't allowed in there, this would not have happened. Sorry, Aloe, you kinda brought this on yourself.

So between this one and the other story, I liked the main character more in this one. He came off as more of a “innocent” and sexually frustrated pony than what I can remember of the main character in the other heat treatment story.

Don’t like how he got into this position as much in this one but I didn’t hate it. I thought the other heat treatment did better by having the stallion janitor (i think) walk in and find that twilight was accidentally left behind; then, when the hypnotized twilight sang praises about him afterwards, earned the trust to do more.

Lotus and Aloe... well let’s be serious, if they needed help during the heat rush, they would’ve hired a mare. Even if star was the only applicant, I don’t think they’d hire him. Maybe if he was hired at the spa before and this was his first heat season working there? Idk, Lotus and Aloe just didn’t seem as responsible in this. Not to say the bar was very high to begin with since they locked up the spa with a customer still inside in the previous story.

But whatever; I look forward to more. I was pretty disappointed when the first Heat Treatment didn’t continue past the first chapter.

This is what we call a big ooooof.

This was a fun read :) I hope you keep going with it.

Comment posted by YoGriz deleted February 19th

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Thanks! ^.^ What do you like about it?

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Honestly, I think Aloe should have just told Star the effects of the herbs from the very beginning. At least that way, he'd know why he wasn't allowed in there and the opportunity would then never express itself.

But that would be a really boring story! :facehoof:

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Lotus and Aloe just didn’t seem as responsible in this. Not to say the bar was very high to begin with since they locked up the spa with a customer still inside in the previous story.

Well, they’ve got to be irresponsible somehow, or a story like this could never happen!

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Heh -- just wait until you see the last chapter!

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Oh, I definitely will. All 5 chapters are already written, just waiting to get posted.

Mares in heat were first put into a special sauna room where the mist in the air was infused with a special blend of herbs – in fact, they’d just started using a new recipe, one from the legendary Zecora, which was supposed to be much more effective than the old one. Now it was only supposed to take one treatment. After the herb-infused sauna, the mares were taken to the back room of the spa where things were kept dark and quiet, where they’d be given a gentle massage to ease their body’s tensions as they cooled down from the sauna. And by the time they left the spa, they’d be completely heat-free – ready to go about their normal lives without being driven to distraction by the thought of sex all the time.

Typo

This is a high-class low-class story (if you know what I mean...).

Liked it, can't wait for more.

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Fixed! ^.^ I guess the commissioner gets that word for free! :rainbowlaugh:

Yeah, I kinda had life shit come up. Havent even been able to turn out pretty much anything lately, though I'm working on something behind the scenes.

Just wish he'd messaged me to see if he could get me back on track instead of assuming I was gone.

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:twilightoops: I assumed he’d already talked to you about it...

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Yeah, got nothing.

I was about to do a Fluttershy chapter too, but then a family situation developed that demanded all my attention, and I kinda had to drop everything for a while to deal, and even after I posted some more stuff, I heard nothing from them since that initial "I'm working on 'Shy now" I sent them.

I'm curious if this will actually end with him "winning" or if he'll face consequences

You know, considering Aloe and Lotus' irresponsibility AND the fact that Star clearly resisted but gave in, I wonder if perhaps the herb has an effect on stallions that makes their libido increase?

Either it's not true and perhaps Star can use it as a lie and get away with it, but at worst it's the truth and therefore Star isn't completely culpable here.

Also, just because of how odds work I highly doubt EVERYONE Star does this with will get pregnant from it. Personally, I'd throw a dart and see what one or two names it lands on and those are the ones that get pregnant.

with a story like this, I wouldn't be surprised if he gets away with this kind of expect it.

You just won me over. I saw this on the featured box and have literally been reading it since it was published, alt-tabbing and then I come back and see a Rainbow Dash chapter. You just got a very happy reader. Can't wait for the rest!

Now that there is a chapter dedicated to Rainbow Dash, I've re-added it to the group. In the future, don't add stories to groups they're not appropriate for. Even incomplete stories you intend to make fit later. It's better that way for the members of the group, it's better for you for advertising. Everyone wins.

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Only one way to find out! :rainbowwild:

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Yeah... Who knows which ones will actually end up pregnant? Star sure doesn’t!

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^.^ Glad this chapter is getting the approval of the Dashie fans!

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Oh... When it’s a story that’s fully written and just waiting to be posted, I usually throw it into every group that applies to the full story. Redoing groups after every chapter would be exhausting.

I'm questioning the hiring practices that would let a stallion give massages to mares in heat.

...This story sounds like it might be hot though.

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I try to justify it at least a little in the story. But yeah ... not a great decision on Aloe & Lotus’s part.

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But Star 'knew all about the heat treatment procedure' and the herbs involved. He is without a doubt culpable for his actions, making this full-on rape, especially given his command at the end. That he then repeats, and if the tags can be believed, he gets his friend in on it. The only thing saving him from castration and being sent to Tartarus will be some bullshit about Twilight and the rest of the mares falling in love with their rapist.

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some bullshit about Twilight and the rest of the mares falling in love with their rapist.

Not in this story! :twilightsmile:

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I'm sure you know who's reaction I'm most looking forward to.

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Yeah ... but unfortunately the story only really goes into the reaction of one victim.

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Now I'm slightly less excited for the rest of the story. Great Writing!

Why is there not a rape tag on this disgusting story? Because all I am seeing is some shitty immature colt screwing any mare he sees knowing full well they are absolutely not giving any consent to this. What an awful story.

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There is no rape tag. The tag you need to look for to avoid is non-con.... which this story has

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There’s just no winning with the tag nazis, is there? You got your non-con tag, and I used it ... and I still get complaints.

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:facehoof: I’ll never escape the tag police.

Music seems suspicious... Are the mares the only ones being made suggestible here?

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There is. The fucking Non-Con tag is on there. Also why would you read the story when you don't like it? Just downvote and move on. No need to write a shitty comment and start a keyboard war in the comments.

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I like trolls such as yourself, always good for a giggle and little else :twilightsmile:

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Heh, well, at least feeding the troll generates lots of comments and keeps the fic at the top of the feature box.
Thanks, troll! :rainbowwild:

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That's what the "non-con" tag means, non consentual

But the two mares who’d come in – Rarity and Fluttershy – were paying no attention to him. “Oh you simply must try their new heat treatment,” Rarity said, leaning in close to her friend. “Twilight says the new one is so much more satisfying than the old one used too be – she hasn’t felt so much as a twinge since. Just as good as having a real stallion!”

You know, I still feel like my theory actually still has validity to it.

Did Star still consciously make the choice when outside of the spa room? Yes. HOWEVER, I can't help but notice his intensity increase in the room, even if he intended to do less beforehand.

I still think the theory that the herbs cause stallion to increase their libido is added, but unlike mares, they are consciously aware of it afterward.

Also, it feels like the mares are mostly just brokenly repeating what Star says more than following his commands.

At first, she said nothing. The gap was so long he thought perhaps she hadn’t heard him at all, or wasn’t responding for some reason. But then she finally said it: “... Fuck me hard...”

Mmm. Wonder where that specific phrase came from. :rainbowwild:

You know, it's funny, I too had difficulty getting this out of my mind last night!

Though I imagine it was for different reasons. I mean, if you want your mindless (hah) clop, then sure, here it is. Though I feel like the chapters are slowly decreasing in how exciting they are, but that could just be because it's a very similar situation repeated four times now.

I find it interesting that Aloe and Lotus acknowledge that he could be gay and therefore uninterested in the mares, yet leave open the possibility for a mare to rape the mares in the same manner. I suppose lesbian sex doesn't register as dangerously.

The part that kept me up, though, was thinking through what the consequences should and will be for his actions, and what is says about me (and any of us). I know I'm quick to not just justice but vengeance, and had difficulty stopping the fantasies about what to do with Star, past mere jail or the death penalty. Or what to do with the foal(s), and how likely they are to share their sire's... proclivities towards these actions. Aborted, even though the circumstances of their conception is not their fault, even if them being alive rewards the offender?

Does Star show that any of us are not just capable but likely to take these actions, given the opportunity?

What would happen if Star expresses regret and dismay at his actions, and truly repents? Will he get a Starlight Glimmer-esque treatment, and welcomed into the mare's (and new foal's) lives as Twilight's student? Locked up regardless? I personally believe in forgiveness and redemption, and I want the slate to be wiped clean, but damn if I don't want to see some vicious punishment inflicted. Not that I think that would help matters. So many possibilities, it's hard to choose just one!

And what are the consequences to those beyond Star? People go after gun manufacturers for gun violence; will (should?) Zecora be held accountable for the (unintended) effects of her potions? What happens to Aloe and Lotus when the Spa gets closed down due to their negligence, if they aren't held criminally liable? It's less of an issue because this happened to her, but what would have Rarity have gone through knowing that it was because of her (not really, but the mind twists things in funny ways) that her friends got raped? I'm definitely curious what the ramifications will be.

Perhaps this isn't how you intended the fic to be taken, but that's the point of shocking fics that depict something heinous and wrong, right? Not just to titillate at the imagined power rush, but to show how each of us is capable of such actions, and constant vigilance and introspection is required of our own thoughts and actions. Why do I get off to rape, or vore, or (pick-your-fetish)?

Sorry if I harshed anyone's buzz. Or maybe I sparked someone's fetish, philosophizing about porn. Lewdosophy?

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Heh -- death of the author and all...
If you’re reading that into the story, then it’s in the story, whether I intended it or not! :derpytongue2:

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The greatest part is that we can all know exactly what it sounds like to hear those words in Rarity’s voice! :raritywink:

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but that could just be because it's a very similar situation repeated four times now.

In that, I’m afraid I was constrained by the commission. Still, though, I’ve tried to liven it up and differentiate the scenes as much as possible while staying within those bounds.

Perhaps this isn't how you intended the fic to be taken, but that's the point of shocking fics that depict something heinous and wrong, right? Not just to titillate at the imagined power rush, but to show how each of us is capable of such actions, and constant vigilance and introspection is required of our own thoughts and actions.

Heh, we’ll see about Star’s consequences. Some will say it’s too lenient, some will say it’s too harsh... And if those two camps are split around 50/50, then I know I did it well.

well... my hand is sore now... thanks dirty little secret!

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:rainbowlaugh: There’s a reason I’m only releasing one chapter a day -- you’ve got to pace yourself!

I feel like a plot twist of they remembered and they want more is warranted since hypnosis can't make you do things that go against every instinct you have.

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Well, just because it doesn’t go against instinct doesn’t mean that it’s something they would have chosen to do if they were in their right minds...

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Keep in mind that this is a fictional world and that it doesn't work like ours in countless ways. Magic being one of those ways. :moustache:

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