• Member Since 26th Jan, 2017
  • offline last seen 42 minutes ago

Some Leech

I...I am a monument to all your sins...

Comments ( 42 )

So now Rainbow and Fluttershy will be de facto sisters, kind of like how Applejack and Pinkie are sorta-cousins. Now we just need some way for Rarity and Twilight to be pseudo-family.

Your stories are always technically well-written, but solid description of both characters and their bodies is what gets this one a fave from me. Too often stories give paragraphs to describe a mare and none to the stallion. Plus Zephyr definitely deserves some more love.

Zephyr's mannerisms always reminded me slightly of Kuzco from Emperor's New Groove :rainbowlaugh:

This is the most benign thing in terms of kinks I've seen Leech post

Man, I know you specialize in porn, but I would love to see the rest of the Mane 6's reaction to the knowledge that RD fucked Zephyr. Maybe of she started showing and they started asking questions...

I wonder when Rainbow will remember she was in heat and that Zephyr came inside.

God damn it leech. I keep finding a good story and then think "hey that's pretty good I wonder if this writer has any other stories" But its just you every time. Stop getting my hopes up.

Nodding, Zephyr hopped from the crates and stood. Shambling to the exit, he reached out, turned the handle and pulled . The door swung inward, revealing the hallway outside and the keys he’d dropped before entering.


I'm not sure if this is a compliment or an insult :trollestia:
B...but I do my best :fluttershbad:
Nobody said she was thinking clearly :fluttershyouch:
Considering FourEyes is interested in sequels, you might just get your wish :trollestia:

Nice to see a good clop between the two, good job.

It was bad enough that she found herself trapped in a broom closet at the Wonderbolts headquarters


If you close your eyes and write more good smut wish SUPER HARD, you might just find me making more :trollestia:

You know what I would 'really' love from you, Leech?

Some scrum-ci-licious size difference. I'm talking BIG Mac on teenage Sweetie Belle.

All small mares deserve to be covered by a big honking stud.

And you write that kink so damn good.

Especially that fucking peacock strut he did in Sparkle's Seven.

Too vanilla, how about TwiBelle?

Except Twilight's pretty much the textbook definition of vanilla. Sure, put her with someone half her age. Should we give her a bondage hood with attached horn ring and gag, and perhaps a bitchsuit to go along with that idea? For their consummation, perhaps? She's probably about as likely to go along with it.

...and how many people just got ideas, I wonder? Oh well, character ruination is so common a thing I wouldn't be surprised if someone already did it. I know there's one of Rarity doing it.

Is it normal to feel guilty for liking this as much as I did?

Yes. Yes, it is.

i liked to think this is set same universe as Stupid, Sexy Stallions and Zephyr gonna get stuck in a love triangle between a tsundere rainbow-dash and possessive Luna

A fantastic read, thumbs up and faved.

So I guess we now wait to see whether Rainbow comes back to see him, trying to figure out if her lingering feelings are because of her heat? :rainbowwild:

I hope there's a sequel where she completely falls for him and he gets her pregnant. Or this gets her pregnant and to get him to stallion up she falls for him and it cheeks both there egos.

This could make a great audio play...

Very good. I love it.

I once read a fanfic similar to this with Zephyr Breeze where he gave really good massages and he got popular, and had some deal with Fluttershy where she'd do sexual stuff with him depending on how popular he got, but there was a whole problem of him being too big. Anyway, my point it, this story manages to do that exact same kind of atmosphere, and I really really like it.

Funny you should mention Zephyr Breeze and massages...

I was hoping to finally find a clopfic of these two and only these two. I do hope you write more Zephdash cool in the future.

I do have more Zeph/Dash in the pipe
Stay tuned

This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!

------ Review ------

Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-It's really fun seeing Rainbow try to resist and then try to justify what she's doing.
-She was putty in his hooves -- cliche.
-Use of bolded words is a bit much.
-Overall solid fic.
-And a great job on anatomical descriptions.
-Pretty solid character work, too.

------ Scores ------

To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 96/100
Allure: 85/100
Enticement: 80/100
Immersion: 95/100
Prose Quality: 92/100
Total Score: 448/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.

Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!

Not really in the mood to fap at the moment, but this was still pretty arousing. And it was well written, so I was most likely going to upvote it, anyways. But then I got to that bit about the door. Nearly laughed out loud. Definitely upvoting it now.

While I freely admit that most of my content is unabashed smut, I still do my damnedest to make it entertaining and lighthearted

Guess I get to be the lucky schmuck who goes against the crowd. Oh joy.

Anyway, I feel like the characters were a bit off. I find it real hard to believe that Zephyr of all ponies is not still a virgin. He has a tendency to talk big and not back it up. If it were me writing this, I would've made him awkward and shy, maybe a little unsure. I'd make Rainbow a lot more aggressive and impatient, maybe even dominate him a little. She might get off to riding him while he's the one moaning like a mare. Having him be the dominant one just feels a little out of place; it's a little too sudden for my tastes.

I also kinda find it hard to believe that Rainbow didn't try the door, but that could be easily fixed by a messed up lock. Or Discord fulfilling Fluttershy's request to help her brother with his lovelife. It doesn't bother me as much as the character interactions.

Anyway, that's my two cents. I'm only giving it in hopes of helping you improve as a writer. But like all advice that isn't asked for, it's probably not worth very much. Hope it helps, and if not, feel free to ignore it.

As Zephyr’s tongue grazed the meaty, succulent entrance of Dash’s loins, his stallionhood slipped from its sheath.

You are aware that “loins” are your sides*... right? Not... that.

(*just under your fake ribs, to be exact)

Fruit of one's loins...


It's an expression "the fruit of one's loins"

Also https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/loin

> The pubic region
> Reproductive organs


I could go for some loin fruit right about now tbh

Rainbow Dash is never gonna live this down.

Sweet Celestia, that ending. lol

Most excellent.

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