- Member Since 23rd Oct, 2017
- offline last seen Last Thursday
That One Strange Fellow
Literally dead inside and out, but that's okay.
That One Strange Fellow
Joined 23rd Oct, 2017 ·
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ehhh I don't get it...
Through most of this story you tease the reader with RumBelle (even in the story's cover) and then at the very end you switch to SweetieMash, making Sweetie Belle look like she's a lost, mixed and undecided dumb whore who's just got herself pregnant, and from the looks of it it's implied that she did choose Button only because he has a bigger dick and because Scootaloo (who's not even in this story's tags) wants Rumble too, ohhh and because SweetieMash and Rumbaloo are the "otp"
disliked
11658960
Why do I need to point out this is a pure porn fic?
While I can admit to faults within the story (I felt I could have added more to it to better smooth out the sections or better justify some dialogue), let's take into consideration a simple reality: SCOOTALOO WANTS RUMBLE! Sweetie isn't going to steal the colt out from under her friend (intentionally), and to keep up the illusion of who they're going for in the sleepovers. Isn't she a great friend for giving up the better of the two for her friend? This isn't a romance, it's porn, so yes, having a big dick is something that matters to characters sometimes (ever heard of being 'shallow'?).
As for Scootaloo not being in the tags, I'd like to ask: does she play a major role in this story? No? Then why the hell did you bring it up? It's focused around Sweetie Belle, Rumble, and Button Mash, not Scootaloo. And so what if there's some SweetieMash and Rumbaloo foreshadowing? There's also TenderBloom mentioned too. A hypothetical sequel might even take the RumBelle further, like the major porn scene in this story implied something more from Rumble. Surprisingly, stories can have non-linear dynamics, even when they are porn.
Regarding the cover art, it was something simple to highlight the two biggest characters in the story. It's something simple to get the point across, not to be the end-all-be-all of the story.
So...you did get the memo that foalcon is now verboten, didn't you?
Moderator's rules, not mine.
11659187
Source or you made it up. Since there was no announcement, and that there's been no moderator stopping by, I'm hazarding a guess you're either grossly misinformed or lying. Clearly foalcon altogether isn't 'verboten' because there are still plenty of fics on the site with foalcon.
11659187
The closest I can see is this rule that has been on the site since forever. It does not exclude (non-anthro) foalcon.
I see nothing banning regular foalcon.
11659219
*checks*
You're safe as long as it's ponies. Careful of anthro and humanized clop.
11658960
Is it the most amazing story ever? No. Could I critique it if I wanted? Sure, almost anything can be critiqued. But I won't.
It's a smut-fic, it's not supposed to be a literary masterpiece. And in that, it succeeds. Thank you for the gift, Strange, I enjoyed this.
I feel like you need a substitute for the word "her". It appears a little too frequently and, since it is third person, you could use "Sweetie" as a replacement. Or any other way, if you prefer. I, with my nonexistent experience, stick to switching between two words.
11659529
It's not so bad in the non-porn scenes, but I can understand where you're coming from. The reason I skip saying 'Sweetie' is because A) The only filly involved is Sweetie, so it is really unnecessary to show a focus shift, and B) to reduce the number of times I have to use a longer word. Some paragraphs are worse than others, of course, and I can see places I could put Sweetie without issue, but that will have to wait for if I rewrite this story. It's not a bad thing to use pronouns in place of a name as long as the audience (the readers) understand who is being referred to (rather than having to play the 'pronoun game').
Anyway, thank you for mentioning it! Something I'll definitely consider!
EDIT: Fixed that grammar error. Sometimes things like that slip by, so thanks for pointing it out!
11658960
Let me explain it for ya
Heat = into the urge to breed with whatever male is nearby, and keep breeding until the heat is sated.
Its animal biology after all, almost all animals do this, the younger the animal, they keep going at it until the female is sated, Colts especially.
Anyways Rumbles seed had the higher chance to fester more so shes likely pregnant with his foal first, since he had first crack at her.
But i liked this, showed how heat can be if not on a protection or suppressant for the cycle, the story is well written, i hope for a sequel to this showing Sweetie pregnant and Rumble gets Scoots pregnant next!
not bad. little error i noticed
dice, right`?
11659579
Well, shit. I had this thing written up about using die in its original form, then I searched for dice and saw I used that too. Die is a proper word for the singular of dice, in fact, it originally was. In modern English, dice is singular and plural while die fell into disuse. I'll fix the three-or-so instances of die in the story to keep consistency. It's not improper to use, so it's not a grammar error, but it is a consistency error.
Thanks for pointing it out!
11659584
just trying to help
11659060
Then ask yourself a question: and does Rumble want Scootaloo?
Yet another "otp".
11659550
Exactly. Claimed!
11659732
so thats the only point you are taking from my post and not the factor that even tho Rumble fucked and got her pregnant... doesnt mean her heat is gone and Button Mash would definitely smell it and since Sweetie is still questioning herself would still mate with him.... gotcha 
Short and sweet! But the firs sex scene was way better and more detailed than the second for some reason…