Just one of many MLP Fans out there :) also german writer, taking small commissions for stories and art
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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The image...
No just.. no
This needs to be continued more or a sequel of some kind
This had been a fun read keep it up.
9651359
Thanks :)
Noice
9650549
Sure, if you have any idea, tell me ^^
As a guitar player myself, I see what you did there.
Judged and tallied!
9661851
Ehm? Thanks?
have you ever actually played a tabletop game? ever had a session, even if it was only play-by-post? I feel like there was potential for this that was missed out in the inaccuracies. I mean, on one hand, only somebody who's played the game a bit would know what the hell a Warforged was, but on the other hand, I can't guarantee that you had a decent GM who knew how the game was actually played...
Bah, but I ramble. This was... well, I'm not going to lie to you, this needed some extra oomph. Something to hook me and invest me, at least in a literary sense. Your editor did as good a job as they could, I imagine, but I think you need more prereaders. There was also an awful lot of tell, not show - we didn't really learn much about the game, about Button's mom, and about their relationships in a very organic way. Also, we never found out what became of that handy (hoofie?) that Gibson was getting. Also also, Gibson isn't the best pony name.
This felt like a fic that was "researched" from a cursory glance after a Google search. Try harder. You'll have more pride in your work in the end if you put in a bit more effort and seek out more help than a single editor.
9668702
I am part of a D&D party and wanted to add some more elements, but the deadline was so close that I had to hurry up :D My editor had only 12 hours to do his job ^^
This was the third story I started for this contest ^^ Time was short :D
And just as a side note: I mentioned, that the plot was poorly planned ^^
How is this pet play?
9658023
My ass burns
Ok i gotta admit the story was good but it was so damn hard to read the second chapter.
10274377
About the grammar and spelling? Yeah, I know
... I'm sorry, tryi g to do better with every new story.
10274387
No not the grammar and spelling. I mean the description of them playing the so called game?
10274394
Yeah, first I wanted to concentrate more on the pen and paper part because I wanted to write an D&D PuP Story in FiM universe... But when I got more into it I felt more like smutt stuff and less like accurate Pen and Paper Scene writing :D
Maybe I will use my experience with Eberron Dungeons and Dragons to write a other story with more plott later ^^
10274551
Ok. You will get better!