The heat treatment at the Ponyville Spa helps mares get over their heat, but it leaves them in a temporarily dazed and suggestible state. When a stallion helping out for the season finds out about this, he uses it in very inappropriate ways.
But the two mares who’d come in – Rarity and Fluttershy – were paying no attention to him. “Oh you simply must try their new heat treatment,” Rarity said, leaning in close to her friend. “Twilight says the new one is so much more satisfying than the old one used too be – she hasn’t felt so much as a twinge since. Just as good as having a real stallion!”
You know, I still feel like my theory actually still has validity to it.
Did Star still consciously make the choice when outside of the spa room? Yes. HOWEVER, I can't help but notice his intensity increase in the room, even if he intended to do less beforehand.
I still think the theory that the herbs cause stallion to increase their libido is added, but unlike mares, they are consciously aware of it afterward.
Also, it feels like the mares are mostly just brokenly repeating what Star says more than following his commands.
At first, she said nothing. The gap was so long he thought perhaps she hadn’t heard him at all, or wasn’t responding for some reason. But then she finally said it: “... Fuck me hard...”
You know, it's funny, I too had difficulty getting this out of my mind last night!
Though I imagine it was for different reasons. I mean, if you want your mindless (hah) clop, then sure, here it is. Though I feel like the chapters are slowly decreasing in how exciting they are, but that could just be because it's a very similar situation repeated four times now.
I find it interesting that Aloe and Lotus acknowledge that he could be gay and therefore uninterested in the mares, yet leave open the possibility for a mare to rape the mares in the same manner. I suppose lesbian sex doesn't register as dangerously.
The part that kept me up, though, was thinking through what the consequences should and will be for his actions, and what is says about me (and any of us). I know I'm quick to not just justice but vengeance, and had difficulty stopping the fantasies about what to do with Star, past mere jail or the death penalty. Or what to do with the foal(s), and how likely they are to share their sire's... proclivities towards these actions. Aborted, even though the circumstances of their conception is not their fault, even if them being alive rewards the offender?
Does Star show that any of us are not just capable but likely to take these actions, given the opportunity?
What would happen if Star expresses regret and dismay at his actions, and truly repents? Will he get a Starlight Glimmer-esque treatment, and welcomed into the mare's (and new foal's) lives as Twilight's student? Locked up regardless? I personally believe in forgiveness and redemption, and I want the slate to be wiped clean, but damn if I don't want to see some vicious punishment inflicted. Not that I think that would help matters. So many possibilities, it's hard to choose just one!
And what are the consequences to those beyond Star? People go after gun manufacturers for gun violence; will (should?) Zecora be held accountable for the (unintended) effects of her potions? What happens to Aloe and Lotus when the Spa gets closed down due to their negligence, if they aren't held criminally liable? It's less of an issue because this happened to her, but what would have Rarity have gone through knowing that it was because of her (not really, but the mind twists things in funny ways) that her friends got raped? I'm definitely curious what the ramifications will be.
Perhaps this isn't how you intended the fic to be taken, but that's the point of shocking fics that depict something heinous and wrong, right? Not just to titillate at the imagined power rush, but to show how each of us is capable of such actions, and constant vigilance and introspection is required of our own thoughts and actions. Why do I get off to rape, or vore, or (pick-your-fetish)?
Sorry if I harshed anyone's buzz. Or maybe I sparked someone's fetish, philosophizing about porn. Lewdosophy?
but that could just be because it's a very similar situation repeated four times now.
In that, I’m afraid I was constrained by the commission. Still, though, I’ve tried to liven it up and differentiate the scenes as much as possible while staying within those bounds.
Perhaps this isn't how you intended the fic to be taken, but that's the point of shocking fics that depict something heinous and wrong, right? Not just to titillate at the imagined power rush, but to show how each of us is capable of such actions, and constant vigilance and introspection is required of our own thoughts and actions.
Heh, we’ll see about Star’s consequences. Some will say it’s too lenient, some will say it’s too harsh... And if those two camps are split around 50/50, then I know I did it well.
So the fun thing about this being a second attempt at the same commission is that we get to compare them!
The biggest difference that stands out to me is that in the original story, Twilight is aware of her surroundings, and as such is an active participant in the scene. Although her judgment is impaired, she holds a conversation, asks questions, and is given ample opportunity to demonstrate her character.
Here, though... she's like a zombie. She doesn't talk except to repeat her orders, and doesn't do anything unprompted. She's not awake. Which, at least to me, makes the scene a lot less interesting and contributes to what others have mentioned, where each chapter ends up feeling similar to each other. It doesn't matter which pony is in which chapter if they don't do anything in-character.
I don't know how much of this is due to the restrictions of the commission. Perhaps the commissioner wasn't a fan of the interactions in the first story and tightened up the requirements for this one. I just find it interesting that these two stories ended up radically different in how they handle this central part of the sex scenes.
Perhaps the commissioner wasn't a fan of the interactions in the first story and tightened up the requirements for this one.
Nope, can’t blame that on the commissioner. The main constraints there were the choice of characters and that the sex would always be vanilla mounted position.
Really, I guess more than anything, that was me writing myself into a corner. I’d written Twilight like that for the first chapter, and it all seemed fine and dandy... But I didn’t think about how I’d have to write them all like that in order to be consistent. Still, the next chapter should liven things up because a non-hypnotized pony besides Star gets involved.
Oof, this could kill RD's dreams when they're just getting started, pretty messed up to think about the ramifications of this dude's inability to keep it in his sheath. That's part of the fetish I guess, the power to destroy someone else's life or something. Their heat can't be bad enough to require some extremely powerful date-rape drug if every mare doesn't jump anything with a dick and get knocked up every time she goes into heat. Fluttershy already pointed out that it is, at least on some levels manageable. And the sheer incompetence of the spa ponies to allow this to happen, when they know the effects it has on mares AND to send Star on his way without any form of supervision or control is just absurd, it makes me think they wanted it to happen. So now i'm thinking the spa ponies are changeling infiltrators trying to ruin the lives of the main 6, in that case everything is going just as planned.
Of course i'm going to much in depth on a pornfic like a lot of other people did already. I like the scene's themselves, it's just hard not to think about the situation that led to them and the consequences that it will create afterwords.
They, uh...don't have paternity tests or anything, in Equestria, do they? If they do, then...umm...Star's almost certainly going to be banished, isn't he?
10100450 If you don’t have a sample of the father’s DNA, what are you going to match the paternity test to? You have to at least already have a suspicion of who the father is...
You know, I still feel like my theory actually still has validity to it.
Did Star still consciously make the choice when outside of the spa room? Yes. HOWEVER, I can't help but notice his intensity increase in the room, even if he intended to do less beforehand.
I still think the theory that the herbs cause stallion to increase their libido is added, but unlike mares, they are consciously aware of it afterward.
Also, it feels like the mares are mostly just brokenly repeating what Star says more than following his commands.
Mmm. Wonder where that specific phrase came from.
You know, it's funny, I too had difficulty getting this out of my mind last night!
Though I imagine it was for different reasons. I mean, if you want your mindless (hah) clop, then sure, here it is. Though I feel like the chapters are slowly decreasing in how exciting they are, but that could just be because it's a very similar situation repeated four times now.
I find it interesting that Aloe and Lotus acknowledge that he could be gay and therefore uninterested in the mares, yet leave open the possibility for a mare to rape the mares in the same manner. I suppose lesbian sex doesn't register as dangerously.
The part that kept me up, though, was thinking through what the consequences should and will be for his actions, and what is says about me (and any of us). I know I'm quick to not just justice but vengeance, and had difficulty stopping the fantasies about what to do with Star, past mere jail or the death penalty. Or what to do with the foal(s), and how likely they are to share their sire's... proclivities towards these actions. Aborted, even though the circumstances of their conception is not their fault, even if them being alive rewards the offender?
Does Star show that any of us are not just capable but likely to take these actions, given the opportunity?
What would happen if Star expresses regret and dismay at his actions, and truly repents? Will he get a Starlight Glimmer-esque treatment, and welcomed into the mare's (and new foal's) lives as Twilight's student? Locked up regardless? I personally believe in forgiveness and redemption, and I want the slate to be wiped clean, but damn if I don't want to see some vicious punishment inflicted. Not that I think that would help matters. So many possibilities, it's hard to choose just one!
And what are the consequences to those beyond Star? People go after gun manufacturers for gun violence; will (should?) Zecora be held accountable for the (unintended) effects of her potions? What happens to Aloe and Lotus when the Spa gets closed down due to their negligence, if they aren't held criminally liable? It's less of an issue because this happened to her, but what would have Rarity have gone through knowing that it was because of her (not really, but the mind twists things in funny ways) that her friends got raped? I'm definitely curious what the ramifications will be.
Perhaps this isn't how you intended the fic to be taken, but that's the point of shocking fics that depict something heinous and wrong, right? Not just to titillate at the imagined power rush, but to show how each of us is capable of such actions, and constant vigilance and introspection is required of our own thoughts and actions. Why do I get off to rape, or vore, or (pick-your-fetish)?
Sorry if I harshed anyone's buzz. Or maybe I sparked someone's fetish, philosophizing about porn. Lewdosophy?
10096219
Heh -- death of the author and all...
If you’re reading that into the story, then it’s in the story, whether I intended it or not!
10096221
The greatest part is that we can all know exactly what it sounds like to hear those words in Rarity’s voice!
10096279
In that, I’m afraid I was constrained by the commission. Still, though, I’ve tried to liven it up and differentiate the scenes as much as possible while staying within those bounds.
Heh, we’ll see about Star’s consequences. Some will say it’s too lenient, some will say it’s too harsh... And if those two camps are split around 50/50, then I know I did it well.
well... my hand is sore now... thanks dirty little secret!
10096299
There’s a reason I’m only releasing one chapter a day -- you’ve got to pace yourself!
10096360
Keep in mind that this is a fictional world and that it doesn't work like ours in countless ways. Magic being one of those ways.
So the fun thing about this being a second attempt at the same commission is that we get to compare them!
The biggest difference that stands out to me is that in the original story, Twilight is aware of her surroundings, and as such is an active participant in the scene. Although her judgment is impaired, she holds a conversation, asks questions, and is given ample opportunity to demonstrate her character.
Here, though... she's like a zombie. She doesn't talk except to repeat her orders, and doesn't do anything unprompted. She's not awake. Which, at least to me, makes the scene a lot less interesting and contributes to what others have mentioned, where each chapter ends up feeling similar to each other. It doesn't matter which pony is in which chapter if they don't do anything in-character.
I don't know how much of this is due to the restrictions of the commission. Perhaps the commissioner wasn't a fan of the interactions in the first story and tightened up the requirements for this one. I just find it interesting that these two stories ended up radically different in how they handle this central part of the sex scenes.
10096683
Nope, can’t blame that on the commissioner. The main constraints there were the choice of characters and that the sex would always be vanilla mounted position.
Really, I guess more than anything, that was me writing myself into a corner. I’d written Twilight like that for the first chapter, and it all seemed fine and dandy... But I didn’t think about how I’d have to write them all like that in order to be consistent. Still, the next chapter should liven things up because a non-hypnotized pony besides Star gets involved.
Oof, this could kill RD's dreams when they're just getting started, pretty messed up to think about the ramifications of this dude's inability to keep it in his sheath. That's part of the fetish I guess, the power to destroy someone else's life or something. Their heat can't be bad enough to require some extremely powerful date-rape drug if every mare doesn't jump anything with a dick and get knocked up every time she goes into heat. Fluttershy already pointed out that it is, at least on some levels manageable. And the sheer incompetence of the spa ponies to allow this to happen, when they know the effects it has on mares AND to send Star on his way without any form of supervision or control is just absurd, it makes me think they wanted it to happen. So now i'm thinking the spa ponies are changeling infiltrators trying to ruin the lives of the main 6, in that case everything is going just as planned.
Of course i'm going to much in depth on a pornfic like a lot of other people did already. I like the scene's themselves, it's just hard not to think about the situation that led to them and the consequences that it will create afterwords.
10097485
It's a conspiracy!
I'm kinda starting to hate Star. To put it kindly, he's a piece of sh*t.
Still liking the story. Well-written and cloppy.
10097324
Thanks! ^.^ What’s your favorite part?
10097485
That’s all part of the fun!
10097578
Planted there by rival Wonderbolts looking to take Rainbow Dash down...
10097606
Oh yeah -- he’s definitely a piece of shit.
They, uh...don't have paternity tests or anything, in Equestria, do they?
If they do, then...umm...Star's almost certainly going to be banished, isn't he?
Do ponies even know of DNA?
10100450
If you don’t have a sample of the father’s DNA, what are you going to match the paternity test to?
You have to at least already have a suspicion of who the father is...
10101166 The biggest thing they could do is match it to DNA of known criminals/sex offenders and that's about it.
10148184
That's assuming they don't have a divination type spell that could be used to figure it out.
Heh. Wonder if he's gonna get magically sterilized but still keep the heat-treating aspect. Though, that would be more of a gift...
10384434
A little worse than that...
Even though I know how this ended, I wanted this to happen XD (When he is caught by everypony)
https://m.(This fic reminded me of this... somehow)