• Member Since 2nd Dec, 2018
  • offline last seen 17 minutes ago

Twilight star


I like to write stories about the shippings: Twilight x Luna, Twilight x Nightmare Moon, Nightmare Rarity / Rarity x Nightmare Moon, Rarity x Luna and Twilight x Chrysalis.

E

After Twilight said Cadence was evil, everypony rejected her warnings. Twilight feels sad and betrayed. Sad that especially Spike, Shining Armor and her mentor had avoided her, and betrayed that her friends had told her that they would take what Twilight would tell them seriously after the Lesson Zero events. Twilight just didn't expect Nightmare to come keep her company.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 119 )

There is a fanfic just like this on quotev by DannyPhantomfan, Twilight Sparkle becomes the next Nightmare Moon. Did that inspire yours?

Huh. This concept is really interesting.
Seeing Twilight get akumatized turn evil isn't the most original idea, but pairing it with what happened to her in Canterlot Wedding is really interesting. Keep up the good work!
You could use an editor--there are quite a few mistakes in spelling and grammar. I'd be willing to help you if you're interested, but I'm afraid I can't do any editing work for the month of December. After December, I'm totally free. Shoot me a PM if you're interested!
I'm interested to see where this is headed! :twilightsmile:

Very nice, I want to see what Nightmare Sparkle capable of.

Is this a:
WARNING! BADASS TWILIGHT ALERT!

9978191
Twilight Sparkle becomes the next Nightmare Moon.

Great idea! Did you get this idea from my story on quotev, where Twilight becomes the new Nightmare Moon (my username is DannyPhantomFan1 there)?

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Actually Sam, the title of my story on quotev is "Twilight Sparkle becomes the new Nightmare Moon" with a question mark in the title after 'Moon'.

Great chapter again! However, there is an error I must point out that should be fixed.

“She cried, you fools!” ahouted Nightmare Sparkle. She walked back, only now angrily and went to Celestia, who was saddened by what Nightmare Sparkle said.

The 'ahouted' should be 'shouted'.

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Thank you for pointing me. I hadn't seen this error and i already fixed

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You're welcome. Oh. Found another.

Nightmare Sparkle looked at Applejack. “Twilight won’t hear you. She’s currently watching everything while I control her body.”

The 'won't' after Twilight should be 'can't' and "She's currently watching everything while I control her body.” should be "She's currently watching everything from her mind while I control her body.”

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You're welcome. For chapter 3, I think Shining Armor is freed from Chrysalis's spell and sees Celestia, Twilight's friends and Spike sad. He asks them what's wrong and they tell him that Twilight was right about Cadence. They tell him that the one he was about to marry was a Changeling in disguise and that their betrayal towards Twilight caused her to be possessed by Nightmare. This saddens him and he vows to help them not only find the real Cadence, but also bring Twilight back to them so they can apologize to her.

Oh. Found another error.

Nightmare Sparkle took her hoove off the Celestia’s chin, looked at Fluttershy, and lowered herself to Fluttershy’s level. “Do you think I did just that? I gave her an offer”

'hoove' should be 'hoof' and there should be a period after 'offer'.

You know Nightmare is actually being quite smart, she hasn't attacked anyone other than fake Cadence. She is not seeking Twilight's Ire so she isn't hurting anyone.

JWR

Interesting. When can we expect more?

Do you like my idea for chapter 3?

Oh. As the ponies are doing that, Nightmare Sparkle gets to the castle and uses magic to fix it up and decorate it.

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Don't worry. I started writing a little bit now

still a few issues here and there with nothing to do with spelling. but i like it so far.

Comment posted by TwilightSparkleRocks deleted Dec 8th, 2019

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That's the name of a story that inspired this one actually. Well, the name is she becomes NEW Nightmare Moon. The story's on Quotev.

People are still making Canterlot wedding stories where Twilight lashes out at everyone for not believing her about Cadance? :rainbowderp:

Great Job on this fic Twilight Star! Looks like this could be your biggest hit!

Found an error in the first chapter.

“Muahahahahahahahaha! Free! I managed to get the body of this pony. And now, the night… will last… forever!”

The "Free!" should be "At last!" and the "I managed to get the body of this pony." should be "I successfully possessed the bearer of the Element of Magic."

9978664
As long as the ending is happy and Shining armor doesn't get heavily abused like he was in "broken trust" I'd be willing to throw a fav.

I think it would be cool if there was an adventure to find Twilight.

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Oh no I mean the fic "Broken Trust"

More or less I'm thinking of how it can go positively, maybe it'll end like the Nightmare Rarity comic. with resolution

This is from my story on quotev, in the final chapter. After Twilight returns to normal.

"Twily, I'm so sorry for not listening to you back when you warned us about the fake Cadence." Shining Armor said between sobs. "I didn't mean to hurt you like how I did. The Changeling Queen brainwashed me into believing she was Cadence, she fed off of so much of my love for Cadence that she made me turn against you. Her going down that hall crying was a way of turning me and everypony else against you. I realize that now. I'm sorry I stripped you of your Best Mare title and kicked you out of the wedding. That was very foolish of me. I'm so sorry Twily."
As Shining Armor continued to cry, the mane 5 trotted up to their friend.
"Twilight, we are sorry too." Fluttershy said.
"As the Elements of Harmony and your friends, we were supposed to stick by your side and support you as friends are supposed to do. But instead, we turned our backs on you." Rarity added.

And then the mane five saying their elements, but had acted like their exact opposite element again.

Comment posted by Akula966 deleted Dec 8th, 2019

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you're being impatient. the last chapter was only published four days ago and you wrote two comments about the same thing in the same hour. also, it's marked as "incomplete". it's still gonna continue.

eh, i was with you up till the end where nightmare wanted night to last forever.

why couldn't you have the nightmare be a enhancing entity? just turn twi's fears and anxiety up to 11?

If I was Luna right now, I'd be sweating profusely

Wow! This is really good so far! I can't wait to see what happens next!

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