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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Whooooolawdy. This was quite the chapter to edit, and one hell of a read.
This story, whew... its gonna be sad when it ends, and yet... fulfilling...
Nicely done guys, hope to continue working on this with ya.
7657701 I'll be happy to assist
thanks for the update! I agree with dustchu. It will be sad when it ends.
Seriously? There's enough issues with the Imperial equestria, each step down this path just adds more complication and makes people just not give a fuck.
Not sure what happened between Chrysalis and Pina? It just sort of trailed off as if they'd decided something but neither of them actually said anything.
7663439
You make an interesting point (if a little more bluntly worded than I think is necessary). Allow me to make a counter argument.
Let me start by saying that I have never been convinced that being "complicated" is a bad thing. I think it's always good for a story to challenge its audience. I think it's good for a story to not always be two-dimensional. What I've loved about the recent arcs has been the way they add layers - the hooded mare, the Loyalists, and now the death of Berry Punch and the inevitable consequences of that.
That being said: the In The Pale Moonlight arc is designed not to over-complicate matters, but to wrap up the consequences of the previous few chapters in a nice little bow (albeit a nice little bow that challenges our characters and their morality). After this, the story progresses towards the end.
I believe in the previous arc, and I have done my best to help create this one. I believe that the "complicated" material will be good for the story as a whole. I would like to think I have the team's confidence (they certainly haven't told me I'm shit yet ). I can only hope the arc pleases the majority of the readers as well. As for yourself and the rest of the audience who are, perhaps, less invested in this material, I can say with a large degree of certainty that this is likely the last "digression".
Cheers,
Jed.
7663866 Aaaaaaaand I don't like the heroes being almost squeaky-clean in comparison to the villains. That is boring.
To bring up the usual here, this seems like another occasion where a side story influences the main plot, but is never spelled out. Ana talking about "grandfather" and suddenly having a voice in her head is something that wasn't visibly present before. To the best of my memory, she didn't used to do that, so I assume I'm supposed to know about that from somewhere else that we're never explicitly told about here.
I have to say, I think I liked her better when she was just this unusually nice sniper. Everyone seems to be getting a bit too spontaneously special lately.
Universe Man, Universe Man
Size of the entire universe, man
Usually kind to smaller man
Universe Maaaaaan
He's got a watch with a minute hand
Millennium hand and an eon hand
And when they meet it's a happy land
Powerful man, Universe Maaaaaan
It still hasn't been explained in-story where she even comes from, by the way. I think I mentioned that one already.
I have to say, I think those crossovers are really kind of detracting from the story a bit. It's hard to take this seriously as the dark and gritty war story it presents itself as when, out of the blue, you suddenly will have goofy characters from video games appearing and flipping the entire mood. Borderlands has its dark moments, but fundamentally? It's comedy. This just clashes massively. If you're crossing things over, it would really work better if you focused less on what you like and more of what works well with the tone you have going.
Well, that's that. A ridiculously long chapter, I'll honestly have to say... 25,000 words is a lot even by the standards of the kind of story I like to read. For all of that, it felt like less happened in it than any of the previous three or four chapters, though. It may be meant to wrap up loose plot threads... but I think you may be focusing a bit too much on the minutiae. It wouldn't have hurt to lighten this up a little with some real story progress. Half of that in this chapter, half of that in the next... comes down to about the same amount of plot and fluff, but it makes the pace feel more even.
7665494
It has to be said that Spectrum has never been all that consistent tonally, but I find the concept of the pony apocalypse too laden with an underlying ridiculousness not to embrace its camp value every now and then, hence my fondness of Chrysalis as habitually depicted here. Keeping this in mind, though, I agree it's jarring to flit so swiftly from emotionally weighty moments to random-events humour.
... Mr. Universe Man, eh?
7665551
Too perfect of an opportunity to quote a bit of They Might Be Giants, I couldn't possibly not use it.
And while I'll say that you're really kind of right there, this story does take itself very seriously. Most of the time, it actually really keeps the tone and mood pretty consistent, in my opinion. It has some lighter moments, but that's a good thing, because a story that is all grimdark all the time is monotone and one-note, which isn't any better. It has done a solid job of keeping to the war diary style.
The way it'll just spontaneously flip from that to anime weirdness and video game hijinx, though, that is... well, I don't want to say that it feels like a slap to the face, because the idiom isn't quite appropriate, but it is massively jarring. It just feels like that stuff really doesn't belong in there.
7665585
Oh, pop-cultural allusions are bread-and-butter to this story. Including characters and institutions directly drawn from other series. We've witnessed that as far back as a certain carbanger crew on a raid many chapters ago, or the presence of Armacham Corporation in a few side-stories. Whether those are always woven seamlessly into this verse's fabric is another issue, true.
7665613
Well, I'm not really very familiar with pop-culture anymore these days, so maybe that kind of thing was just lost on me. I do think stuff like the Doctor Whos works because it's well-integrated into the story - they were there from the very beginning and have been part of it all along, so it feels like they belong. The random video game stuff is more like the story is suddenly zapping to another channel on TV, though.
Which, given all the multiverse stuff, is actually pretty much what it's doing, come to think of it.
7665627
In regards to the "little voice" in Ana's head, well, it may be a cheat to say it was there from the very beginning, since she's a late addition to the overall story; however, it is built upon pre-existing material, and there was a mention of it back in her debut. Besides, I guarantee she's unlikely to develop any sudden superpowers, unless the magical war gets so out-of-control that it temporarily imbibes everyone.
7665637
Well, there is that famous "write drunk, edit sober" quote, I guess.
7665655
Heh, TB3 isn't the only one who likes his old terms, or using familiar terms in the archaic sense. It's part of what made writing Joy to the Worlds a rewarding experience for both of us. As for editing, I promise you that I'm resolutely sober when on that job. It's just that I cannot always be around for it when I'd like to be.
7665494 I take responsibility for it; we've attempted to insert it as smoothly as possible and I can assure you she has no superhuman attributes.
The voice in her head has always been there, mostly shown as some of her inner dialogue. Apologies if this was a bit jarring.
Thanks for the feedback!
7665627 well, i guess i should clear some stuff up. The little girl comes from Discord, who debute in another side story, she isn't all that important plot wise, but she does have a purpose that will be explained later on.
As for how the story is, Spectrum takes itself seriously, but at the same time it doesn't. Its absurd to think so. After all, its a story about magical ponies coming to change you into a smiling zombie like being... kind of hard to take seriously. Fighting wise, its a mix bag, depending on who is fighting. Discord has his own style, crazy and out there, Celestia is more of what you expect of magic users, and Marcus is more physical and use of weapons. Its hard to blend such diversty of styles and pit them against certain things, not including normal humans and other beings which is fun.
Outside of fighting, though, is a different story altogether. We try to keep with the mood that is present in the stotyline, adding bits of light heartness and jokes, but sometimes you just have to put something down that will push the story forward and that leads to rather eyebrow raising scenes that completely off the rails of the story... which i like to think is what Spectrum is good at, changing directions of the mood of the story.
7666282
Thanks for clearing that up. Hm, might be a similar situation to Sergeant Jaka then, if you remember that conversation. I found his whole daredevil personality a lot less visible than the writing team apparently assumed it would be, too. That was some two chapters ago, I think.
7666315
Good enough for me, so long as it gets explained at some point. I mentioned this before, but the fact that the story often brings in characters and setting facts from side stories and then just assumes you'll have read them (which I don't) is one of the bigger problems I've been having with this story. I think it would help to mention this kind of thing in the author's notes, if nothing else, just so people will know where the story is coming from with that kind of thing.
As to the rest, well, some people clearly like that, so I'll qualify that as a personal opinion. I don't mind the fights, actually - they're setting appropriate, that's just something you took from the source material. It's the multiverse stuff that I think just tends to go too far into the other direction, enough so that it clashes. Like I said, it tends to look more like you're going with what media you like, rather than with what would mesh well with the story. I'll not disagree that the plot needs to be driven forward sometimes, but I think if it results in mood whiplash, then there might have been a better way to do it.
Will the M270 Multiple Launch Rocket System be used in the defense of Boston?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M270_Multiple_Launch_Rocket_System
I can imagine hundred of these vehicles in and around Boston. The United States Army has (840+151), 220+ upgraded to M270A1. Their cluster salvo M77 submunition delivery rockets, as the Iraqis referred to these during the 1991 Gulf War as “Steel Rain”, could each kill hundreds of the Solar Tyrant’s ground troops that are attempting shoulder to shoulder, pony wave attacks, as well as destroy enemy command posts, supply depots, and staging areas.
7669566 there is a lot of weapon systems that I need to look up, both from the US and abroad. Including tech that are still in the testing phase at this moment.
I finally caught up with everything in this story and I have to say I really hope the characters make it through this okay and that Trixie's only punishment is that she's no longer allowed to leave the city or castle until the war is over. There's something about Thorax which I'll make a thread about in the group later, but I kind alike Chrysalis' antics and the other races involvement in the story. I just hope the other races get their day in the limelight too in the next three chapters. I hope Uptime Spike get better and I hope Prime Spike becomes friends with Thorax. Even though it's really not that important right now. What is important is how Trixie will be saved from Weaver's plot and if Weaver truly and completely abandoned the Loyalists.
I’m considering writing a story based on Mariya Oktyabrskaya, a Soviet citizen who during World War Two bought and donated a tank for the Soviet Army. During the war, she showed courage, being promoted to Sergeant and for her courage under combat was posthumously awarded the Hero of the Soviet Union award.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mariya_Oktyabrskaya
Has the official story used Braeburn from Appleloosa? I was considering that Braeburn, along with pony and human allies, could buy the Sherman tank memorial located in Appleton, Minnesota and rebuild it, using unicorn metal shaping magic, to become a Super Sherman M-51 with a 105 mm main gun.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Sherman
Should I write this story?