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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Hello hello and welcome! Told you it'd be up without much delay!
Well, a month's delay but hey hey hey! At least we weren't stuck in a massive writer's block!
Working on this was a massive roller coaster of emotions.
Stick around - Catseye's story continues... and so does Ana's
Cheers!
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It was a rollercoaster, hahaha, but very enjoyable to work on! hahaha, so damn good work on writing this the lot of you!
I had fun, once again with pre-reading this monster of a chapter, very enjoyable.
It was fileld with many things, all of which were awesome and just plain wicked.
So keep it up!
Ooooohhhh yeeeeeeeeeeeee
Under 20k words? I'm shocked, shocked I tell you! XD
Anyway, this chapter was action packed and awesome over all.
Poor Berry, if she had just listened to the human... (OK, the human was trigger happy in trying to subdue Blue Spy) but her death could have possibly been avoided.
7136486 Calling Ana trigger happy is one hell of a supremely ironic statement
7136504
Well... she did fire a few shots. Which would scare the ponies.
7136511 Which was necessary and not at all excessive.
I mean, it's not like she fired a machine gun or anything.
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She had no real choice true. She could not just watch.
Berry is dead. Killed by her own fear, paranoia, and the very group of Ponies she had trusted her daughter's safety with.
As far as Trixie goes, here's hoping she and her more innocent personalities were all conked out while Blue Spy was on her rampage. They don't deserve the memories or the guilt that Blue Spy's actions will hoist upon them.
And Blue Spy herself? May Luna, Candace, and Queen Cheese Legs isolate the rogue personality, and lobotomize the hell out of the bitch!
7136652 Writing Ana's heartbroken and enraged reaction was simultaneously one of the hardest and emotional things I've written for the story.
Poor Berry. I wonder if they will figure how Spy was messed with.
Hope you guys plan on working Starlight Glimmer into the story since shes a member of the mane 7 now.
7137848
That's going... to be very hard.
Might possibly be better off ignoring it. (We can't address everything... since this story was made way before Starlight Glimmer even existed) We already have enough characters. But, it's not up to me, I'm just an editor.
7137863 That's true I guess, I can go on without her just fine. Though it would still be cool if they could find away.
https://youtu.be/a4HN5a_Z2qo
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7137863
7136652 Technically, killed by the very monsters she was afraid would kill her, who went axe crazy for the exact reason that she didn't trust them. It's about the opposite of ironic.
Jaka should give Catseye some Merdeka and punch her face.
7139254
FREEDOMMERDEKA!Welp, dead people are dead, and someone apparently needs to poke Blue Spy's brain with a stick.
7139163 So I suppose, in a way, she was killed by exactly what she was so paranoid about?
Tis the harsh truth.
I... I don't know what to feel about what has happened in these past few chapters. First off, Trixie was locked inside her mind while her body was told to go kill every one. Second, the one person she cares about unaminously got rescued by some one else. Thirdly, Blue Spy killed a mare who just had the bad luck to be nearby. Fourthly, Ruby is now an orphan. Fifth, Trixie is going to need a brain surgeon rather than a psychologist like Luna and Cadance are. Sixth, all the important characters survived, at the cost of one dead mother. On one hand, I want to cheer for humanity, on the other, I like Ruby as one of the few kind and nice fillies in Ponyville despite every thing. You lot made her an orphan.
So, if you wanted to leave at least one of your readers questioning whether or not they should continue, congrats. Now please stop making me want to reach through the Internet to smack you.
7143021 On behalf of the other writers, I'm sorry.
Ana's reaction is everything that went through my head when it hit me we just had the Spy cross the Moral Event Horizon.
I'm sorry.
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7143030
Unlike my companion here, i will state the truth in the matter....
It was all VoxAdam idea! Blame him!
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Somehow I expected as much, it was very... Voxian.
PR is gonna have a field day when this operation fully comes to light.
7143021 7143030 7143249 7143840
Yes, I confess, I did it. And I clicked "thumbs-up" on each of these comments, too!
All joshing aside, though, to my own surprise, this ended up one of the most emotionally demanding contributions to the Spectrumverse I helped write, maybe even the most. Likely because, while this series frequently treads into dark territories, most are presented in a fashion which lends them this grand guignol appeal, taking some of the edge off. Which is a world apart from what I had mind here.
This wasn't meant to be "shock" moment, or a radical departure in the course of the story.
Taking down the Loyalists' efforts to sabotage the Alliance will remain a priority for the protagonists, since the Empire's victory would have consequences too dire to allow.
Yet if tragedy occured here, it was not out of any real malice from those involved – and I include Weaver in that list – but because the participants all made mistakes trying to do what they thought was right or necessary.
Because they were, all of them, "only human".
7144074 i know
7144107 I don't mind when it goes dark. I do mind when it goes dark because you lot feel it has to go dark without any real hope of things having a chance at getting better, either that coming in the form of character development, or an important goal being accomplished. It feels like you wrote Berry and Ruby in just for the death of Berry to have an emotional meaning
7144595
Why, yes. Otherwise it'd be exploiting the death of a random background character in the hopes of getting the readership to care simply because they're recognisable from general fandom spotlight. And it plays into a pattern set up since Bauer's abductor was shown to have a wife; though the Loyalists may be antagonists, there are people outside the movement who care for them and would be hurt if something bad happened.
I'm surprised no-one has commented on the reveal that Berry and Cheerilee are sisters.
7144595 To mitigate the darkness some of us are trying to introduce lighter and softer human characters.
Ones that show humanity still has a shred of compassion worth preserving.
7144666 Thank you.
7145147 You're welcome
After all, why else did we bring in Ana, if not to show this?
I published my side story, “The Conversion Bureau: The Other Side of the Spectrum, Side-story: Home Front: St. Louis County, Minnesota”.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/323675/the-conversion-bureau-the-other-side-of-the-spectrum-side-story-home-front-st-louis-county-minnesota
I will consider editing my story based on any constructive criticism I receive in the comments.
7144664 To be fair, many stories I've seen have already used the idea of Cheerilee and Berry Punch being sisters, soooo...
7146135
That's true, and this element was inspired from past inclusions in other fan-works, much like how the background ponies' names arose from common agreement. But given Cheerilee's role in the story, this does carry some additional weight to it.
Is that a "that's what she said" joke? Because that's pretty hilarious. I didn't really take Chrysalis for the type to joke at her own expense like that. Her personality here is certainly turning out rather different than I expected.
Ah, now that's much more like her.
7157802 I wrote most of Chryssie's dialogue, except for the exposition dialogue. It's a bit complicated, but basically, I wrote every single of her line that taunt/tease Stephan, mostly the ending part, and not her exposition-laden dialogue when she arrived.
I have to say, I enjoyed writing her very much, especially at the ending scene right there. She may be allied 'officially', but she's got her own thing going and no alliance is going to stop her from being dominated by some human in a talk. Because that's how Changeling Queens roll.
7157855
I think you may have swung the tone around a bit too much, maybe. The dialogue feels like it doesn't quite know who it wants her to be in places - jovial and easy-going or domineering and cattish. This might be just my impression because we haven't seen her all that much yet. It's generally a good idea to show different sides to a character, but that felt like a bit much of it all at once. I assume it'll balance out a bit over the next few chapters, though, when the character has had more time to establish who she really is.
7157860 I suppose I was going a little over the top with her dialogue, eh?
My apologies; I tend to be very dialogue focused and less on the descriptions, mostly because I usually show a character's traits through their dialogue. And in the case of Chrysalis, I mostly used her characterization from the show as a basis, since frankly, I haven't read about Europe, nor do I wish to see the Queen of the Changelings as someone being so easily intimidated every few sentences. This is, after all, not the same Chrysalis as the Solar Empire one.
On that note, I'll stick with the more jovial, easy-going behavior, with a few shades of the domineering, more malicious side.
I'll be sure to keep that in mind (thanks, by the way), because the latter of the upcoming two chapters has Chrysalis sharing the spotlight with another recurring character shown here.
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Personally, I thought that taken by itself, every part really fit her very well. Over the top is really exactly the style to go for when it comes to Chrysalis, in my opinion. She's flamboyant, she's pompous, a real diva type. I tend to enjoy her the most when she's basically written as "Rarity with fangs." That's a good way to characterize her right there and fits really well into what we see about her in the show. It was just the contrast that was maybe a bit much. So long as you keep it consistent, I think you've got a good recipe there, on the whole.
7157870 Well, in that regard, I can assure you the latter of the two chapters, both featuring Chrysalis, will give a glimpse into her psych, and motivations.
And of course, the basis will always be her appearances in the show - not someone to be so easily intimidated with a few stomps, glares, exposition dumps, or fist slams.
Cheers!
7159338 Not enough.
7157935 Pardon?
For some inspiration on writing Queen Chrysalis, you should read “The Return of Queen Chrysalis” the first story arc of the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic comic series by IDW Publishing, spanning issues 1-4. Set between seasons two and three, the arc features the return of season two antagonist Queen Chrysalis.
http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/The_Return_of_Queen_Chrysalis
http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=preview&id=14369
http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=preview&id=14714
http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=preview&id=15116
http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=preview&id=15516
7163854 Well, I certainly did, hah!
7146123 I looked into it, i read it and its AWESOME Faved.
7185583
Thank you for the upvote! That story does not have much action, because I wanted to tell a slice of life story set in a quiet corner of the human world, to balance all the warfare on the East Coast, especially in and around Boston.
I’m thinking of writing another side story, this one set in Chicago, one of the most important cities in North America.
Question: How do I get my side story featured in the Spectrum Crew: Side Stories folder?
7199097 Its nice to read story about normal people and ponies in Spectrumverse. It make this universe feel alive, if you know what i mean. Chicago would be interesting. We already had some look to it in Calm before the storm, but it was only episodic.
But im afraid i dont please you about your question. Try ask redskin122004 about it.
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Heh, i actually posted idea of Starlight and her Eqalist cult as Post Conversion war villians.
7219948 I'm... sure it was the experiments.
7219948 ...
Seriously?