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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Why did you rewrite it it had like 4 chapters and i liked it better when he was a killing machine
OOh. I like this rewrite. Nice
1042602 Mostly cause I really did need to make a rewrite. The human wasn't really a killing machine per say....
Okay, he was good a killing ponies. But this wasn't about a gore fest. Anyways, TB3 and I had talked over the past 3 days, and I explained to him what i wanted, and he got it down pretty well.
Besides, we are working on the next chapter as we speak. He doesn't want to be acknowledged, but he is the main writer, I am just the idea guy.
The re-write does seem to be better then the original
1042648
I didn't want it to be a gorefest but I liked it when he was more badass and more like a person who every one they've ever loved or cared for is being taken and turned into ponies who have no recollection of their previous lives and their loved ones
He should be a guy who wants to free his people at any cost even if it means being a menace and killing any thing that stands In his way
That's what I would do just fight till I die or win
1042657 Thank TB3, I was pretty much going into this blind. Unlike the other stories, Relics and Dark Space, I am in the dark on how to go about this. But he helped out a lot, so give him your thanks as well.
1042674 Believe me when i say that he still that guy, but against enemy ponies. PHL groups he will see as allies and friends. Just because he is not screaming his head off doesn't mean he is a weakling.
You can blame me for that. TB3 just fleshed him out for me, gauging on what I wrote and how I wrote him in the later chapters.
Awesome! Way better then your first uploads! Can't wait to see the next chapters!!
I like this story for its idea as it was.
Then you two, TB3 and Redskin122004 SUPER CHARGE IT!!!
t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcThKCSdxMTfYFcy0XqB9su2V7mi3KwPSvYNi3xa0aRm3XxBbWZp2f7V64VK
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Ok, this fic has masterpiece written all over it!
Much better than the original. The grammar's much better and the flow's smoother. The character's more well rounded and you offered more glimpses into the "Dark Equestria" that this guy escaped from.
So, "Dark Equestria" Cheerilee, Doctor Whooves and Vinyl are PHL soldiers? I'm looking forward to tales of badassery from those three in the future!
Also, will the Solar Tyrant (Dark Celestia) and the Celestians (her loyal followers) somehow find this Equestria?
I said this already but I love the plot. A Human on the run from the "Dark Equestria" lands in an Equestria like the one from the show.
Excellent rewrite! I especially like the way the PHL has been expounded upon here. The idea of a group of ponies and humans fighting together for the freedom of both Earth and Equestria is a heartening one.
I only got the indulgence of reading through the comment section of the original version. Quite a laugh I might add... (skimmed through the first chapter too but very quickly)
The few typos aside, this is good. Nice intrigue, flows smoothly, and the many plot points you introduce have the feeling that they're there for a good reason and will be explained in the course of the story. Both thumbs up!
Wait... Derpy is MARRIED!?
That's a thumbs down then...
Hmm a rewrite... well as others have said it is somewhat better in terms of base writing style, with a larger amount of depth with Lyra's and Twilight's scenes. Although the human seems to be much less... intense, a little soft really with all the exposition he gave to Lyra. With the explosive attitude previously we could feel the intensity of his beliefs, and the conviction he put in his actions. But now, he seems as exciting as a damp rag.
Now, this is good! That guy still has no name but everything else, wow! Shaping up very nicely.
And someone knows his classics: Grundels good!
Will you include the fight like in the original? With chest-beating primal fury? Because that had a certain larger-than-life quality that showed how alien the human is to this equestria.
1045086 The fight is still on, but it will be more in depth if TB3 cleans it up and adds a bit. Right now I am re writing a rough draft to include more info on Earth and its battle against Equestria. Will be more on par with Dark Space battle sequence if I work on it.
First off, I'd like to say that I was one of those enjoying the story as it was. That said, I will admit that this rewrite is superior, so good job to both of you so far.
Need MOAR!!!
Ok wow, I'm at a loss for words. The previous version of this fic was good, rough but good, but this version is superior by far. Kudos to both of you, I think I may have found a TCB that I can look forward to.
Breathtaking.
Interesting. You've definitely caught my atten--
How did you get my story notes?
1066585
twilight.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/134457426729.png
I have no words for this other than Go on.
Oh wow, I am very very interested in this! Twilight's confusion is organic, but she's defintiely going to try learning! And I love Lyra in this! She's both interested but is still deeply confused, and also compassionate. Can't wait to see how this Celestia and the Mane 6 react to their TCB counterparts (and hopefully rip them a new one!)
1069529
My story has something no one does....
My story has past present and future events....
My story has a reason why all this happens...
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(sorry, it needed to be done. )
Titen AE refrence FTW
TCB fics like this are the only ones I'll read! Admittedly, the only other one I've read is the one set in the universe of "The Elements of Harmony and the Savior of Worlds" Its set in a universe where G1 was the past of G4. The Earth Megan is from has the autobots. In the TCB fic of that world, the EoH WILL be channeled through the autobot matrix of leadership at some point.
Just started reading this. Already have chills down my back under reading the first paragraph... Just finished reading the first chapter, this story is kick ass. I know I say that a lot of stories I read,
demotivationalposters.org/image/demotivational-poster/0904/hey-oh-demotivational-poster-1240011956.jpg
Thisisawesomethisisawesomethisisawesome
*sigh*
*Now go
3197123 nice
1042602 i like deathhttp://www.mediafire.com/watch/2d876e522akdqha/Cupcakes.avihttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqVVtaWd8Pw
This story gets every last bit of my yes.
4744469 I concur.
>I was so impress with what he sent me
But were you phone?
I only hope this story isn't driven by misinformation and misunderstandings...
5548393
Yeah, that's sooooo not happening...
Well, I have to say and interesting start to Spectrum. For good and for bad reasons. The beginning of the chapter doesn't feel right, I'll be honest. The use of Capslock for the shouting could have been toned down slightly and the effect would have been the same. I'm not too sure why they were shocked that he wouldn't go under when they just said they were used to treating ponies (also a little confused by the unknown species-let's call an expert bit but that's probably me). I think the biggest weakness in this chapter is the Conversation about when they first met the Human , it feels distant from the reader and we are told more than we are shown. I've been told that we do see the fight but I ask "Why could we start with that?" in the most polite way possible. It feels less like they are talking to each other and more that they are catching up the reader on what's going on. This problem is completely fixed when Lyra and the Human have their scenes. We know about as much as Lyra at that point and we feel along with her. When he does mention stuff that we don't see, we can assume it is backstory to way before the stories we are reading begins proper (or at least not the same day) so props for the awesome Lyra Mind you, this is the first chapter so I do know that things tend to get better as they go.
Music for this chapter. Especialy for begining:
Um... I'm new to these kinds of stories and I'm a bit confused as to what the hell is going on. So could anyone give me a brief summary of the whole lore behind this?
7434935
Google The Conversion Bureau. Here's a quick summary though:
Pony/human contact happens. In most versions, part of equestria is transported to earth somehow but sometimes it's just a portal or something. Celestia is a xenophobic bitch who wants to convert humans into ponies "for their own good". Depending on interpretation this is a variably bad idea, but usually the converts become soulless puppets with basically no traits of their old selves, so the human race is on the path to extinction. Other notable tropes of the Bureau include Lyra as an ally to the humans, Twilight not actually being a bad person once she stops being blinded by Xenolestia's bullshit, variable levels of Humanity Fuck Yeah, and anyone who thinks that ponification is a good thing is a fucking retard.
This story appears to be a human from the world of the Bureau getting transported to actual canon a Equestria where the princesses DON'T support genocide.
Is there a prequel I should be reading first?
7578200 seems to be a deconstruction of The Conversion Bureau stories not written by Chatoyance. I don't know off the top off my head what that continuity is called. Might just be all of them.
really impressed with the pacing so far! Cant wait to inhale this story asap!
I fuckin LOVE this quote bro!?!?