The Bearers of Harmony What???

by RebelNarrator45

Epilogue: Not Again!

Author's Note:

Parts of this chapter I blame on Speedy Silverstreak.

Others I blame on Isseus.

The actual writing of it I obviously blame on myself.

They gave me the ideas for it, though, so its mostly their fault...

Blame them.

(Just kidding...mostly)

(Canterlot)

Celestia stirred and groaned. Her head was pounding and her stomach was queasy. She lifted her head and found she was sprawled in her bedroom floor. She had no idea how she had gotten there. Not a one. The last thing she remembered was drinking heavily after a long day of having to yell at the Element Bearers and assign consequences for them. She rose slowly.

"Ow, my head."

She managed to open her door and send a guard for coffee, black, and lots of it. Then when it came, she sat down and drank nearly the entire pot. Her brain kickstarted and bits and pieces of the night before flooded in. The more she remembered, the more her eyes widened, and suddenly, she dropped her cup and ran out to the balcony before flying to the other side of Canterlot. She slowed as she went, eyes down below, scanning her surroundings as she retraced last night's path. And the further along she went, the more she saw, the more she began to shudder, until she reached the area near the bar she had been in.

"Oh. Oh no. This is bad."

All along her path was utter chaos. Wrecked carts, nearly demolished buildings, and very angry ponies. Angry ponies talking about...her.

"Oh....no....."

She turned around and shot back to the castle, not daring to look back.

***********************************
(Ponyville, nearly two weeks later)

It was a very quiet group that soberly examined the massive mess they had just caused last night. Again. After being warned by Celestia less than two weeks ago not to do this ever again. And they had. Nopony had been sent to the moon, but that didn't matter.

Luna, Twilight, and even Rarity, with their magic, had caused a great deal of damage to trees and buildings.

Dash in her drunken flight tricks had busted through two cloud homes, knocked three birds nests out of a tree, taken out a flying goose, and somehow managed to crash headfirst into the pond, where she proceeded to splash and frolic...underwater. She was hastily dragged out by a slightly less drunk Applejack before she could drown.

"S'not fair!" She had yelled. "You can't do this! I am a fish! Throw me back!! I need my pond!!" Thankfully for her, Applejack, even in her own drunken state, had enough sense to ignore her angry yell.

Pinkie Pie, through some complete defiance of gravity, had rolled into a ball and tried to bowl her friends down, which was not appreciated at all. She had then proceeded to decorate a passing turtle in frosting. And to top it all off, had driven her flying machine through six cloud houses, two chimneys, and crashed it into a pony carrying a very large cake.

Fluttershy, in quite a humorous display, had somehow managed to fly up to a tree branch, then hang upside down in a bat like manner. The result was that she had fallen off and landed on her back, staring at the sky, where she started moving her legs and declaring she was walking on the sky while carrying the literal weight of the world on her back.

Applejack, after rescuing Dash, had somehow managed to drive her apple cart through six buildings, Sugarcube Corner, and straight into Twilight's library, resulting in all kinds of property damage and not to mention causing numerous books to suffer.

"Well," Twilight said finally. "I said I wasn't gonna drink again and I did. We said we wouldn't cause damage again, and we did. Girls, and Princess Luna, Princess Celestia is gonna kill us."

"Whoa nelly." Applejack said, rubbing her head. "Ah have got a doozy of a headache."

"We all do." Twilight said. "But its nothing compared to what's gonna happen to us after this mess."

"I believe my sister was quiet serious when she suggested we leave alcohol alone for a very long time." Luna said.

"Maybe she won't find out." Dash said hopefully. "We could clean up and make repairs...she'd never know!"

"One problem with that theory, darling." Rarity said. "The entire town knows it was us. Somepony most likely already told Princess Celestia, in which case she is on her way here now."

"Wrong! I am already here!" Celestia's voice rang out loudly as she landed alongside them. They cringed as she took in the damage, her eyes narrowing. Finally, she looked at them and uttered one very short phrase in an icy tone. "Library. Now." And she was gone.

"Ohhhhh Tartarus, this is not gonna end well!" Dash mumbled, as the forlorn group made their way towards the library with Twilight and Luna in the lead. They made an interesting procession, single file with heads hung low, looking for all the world like a bunch of fillies that had just been caught making mischief and were about to get in massive trouble with their parents. Well, they were in massive trouble, alright. But not with any parents. With Celestia. And that was more frightening than any of their parents ever were!
**********************************

Celestia paced back and forth along in front of the ponies lined up in a row in front of her. She was taking deep breaths to steady her temper, which kept rising with almost every step. Spike, who had been quite rudely interrupted in the middle of a comic book by the Sun Princess storming into the libraey, was hiding upsrairs, peeking over the balcony at the scene below.

"After I told you two weeks ago..." Celestia fumed. "I said don't do it again. Leave alcohol alone. Did I not say that?? Perhaps I was wrong. Maybe I just thought about saying it and never actually got it out. Because that would explain the fact you did it again. And if I did say it, then that means you ignored me entirely. So which is it??"

"We...we heard you, Princess." Twilight whispered. Celestia gave her a withering look and she shrank down against the floor, ears pinned back. Fluttershy was not only already pressed against the floor, but she was hiding her head under her wings. The others were afraid to even breathe, let alone move. Celestia glared at Luna.

"And you!" She said in irritation. "I expected better from you, given what happened last time!"

"In our defense, Sister," Luna said. "Not a single pony ended up banished to the moon."

"That's not the point!" Celestia huffed. "It took you a week to repair everything last time, and then the week after that you cause greater destruction than before! That aside, I said not to do it!" Her eyes narrowed. "And if you will recall what I said at the time?" Luna gulped.

"Sister...Sister no." She said. "Why, I need my dessert!! You can't take it away from me!!"

"Its the price you pay, Luna." Celestia said smugly. She looked around. "As for the rest of you...I've decided I am not sending you to the moon. No, I am going to do something quite different." Her horn glowed and seconds later six magical paddles appeared, each one the color of one of the ponies. After a moment, another one joined them...this one dark.

"Uh oh." Luna muttered.

"Oh, no, Princess, not that!" Twilight gasped. The rest understood what was going on, and reacted accordingly. Fluttershy eeped and dove under the table in the middle of the room, which was low enough that she couldn't fit all of herself there, and her rump stuck out perfectly. The rest stood frozen, blinking.

"Alright, now. Ready? Charge!" She leaped forward, paddles flying. In seconds, each paddle was working on one of the ponies' rumps with loud smacks. Yelps and yowls filled the room as six ponies tried to flee and failed. They were forced to simply take what Celestia gave out. And Luna was getting good and paddled too.

"Ow! Sister! Ouch! Ow!" She yelped. Celestia smirked and kept right on paddling them.

'Lets see them get drunk and wreck things after this!!" She thought. Ten minutes later, she ceased her attack and took a deep breath, gaze going from pony to pony. All were sniffling and whimpering...even Dash, who was desperately trying to be tough and failing miserably.

"Owwwww...." the pegasus groaned. Celestia smirked.

"Alright then." She said. "I have the idea you won't be doing this ever again. Its entirely wrong to get drunk and wreak havoc. Got that?"

"Yes, Princess!" Six voices replied in harmony. Luna merely nodded.

"Good." She said, sighing. At that moment, somepony knocked, and Twilight hurried to admit one of Luna's Night Guards. Luna came to the door too, and he whispered to her for a few minutes. Her eyebrows raised and she shot an astonished look at her sister.

"Thank you." She told the guard, who exited. Twilight closed the door.

"Well, now." Luna said, smirking. "It would appear that while my sister is lecturing us on the evils of being drunk and causing chaos, she did the very same thing two weeks ago, in Canterlot. And managed to cause more damage by herself than all of us combined."

"You WHAT?!" Twilight gasped in shock. Celestia gulped at the sudden frowns bestowed upon her.

"Yes, well...it was, um, a misunderstanding." She tried. Luna snickered.

"Oh yes. Approximately a three thousand bit misunderstanding." She shook her head. "Really, Sister. I would have expected better from you given your lectures to us." Her eyes gleamed. "What was it that you said? It is wrong to get drunk and cause havoc? It would seem to me you should heed your own lecture." Celestia blushed furiously. She wanted to protest, but of course, her sister was right. Luna was studying her intently, a devious grin crossing her face as her horn began to light up. "I am thinking you could do with the same reminder you gave to us..." The others stared in astonishment as a large, white magical paddle formed. Larger, in fact, than the ones Celestia had used on them.

"Daaaaang...." Dash mumbled in some measure of sympathy. "That's gonna smart." Celestia, meantime was backing away from her grinning younger sister.

"N...now Luna, let's not do anything rash." She said, eyeing the big paddle nervously.

"Says the princess who got drunk and caused more damage than the rest of us put together!" Dash huffed, only to be glared into silence by Twilight. Luna kept advancing on Celestia, grin widening.

"What is it, Sister?" She said. "Can you not... take the heat?" Dash snorted loudly at the joke, earning another glare.

"Now, Luna, let's be reasonable." Celestia said. "After all, I am not a foal and..."

"And neither are we!" Her sister said. "Yet you paddled us! For the exact thing you did! So now it is your turn!" She lunged. Celestria shrieked and made a run for it, only to be tackled to the floor and sat upon by Luna.

"Luna! Get off!"

"Not until ypu have suffered the same as us!" Was the response as Luna took aim. There was a crack that resounded through the library, followed very closely by a loud wail from Celestia.

"OWWWWWWWWWWW! NOOOOOOO!!" Luna merely grinned as she delivered the richly deserved thrashing, ignoring the yelps, yowls and pleading from her older sibling. At long last, Celestia gave up and stopped fighting, instead trying to look like she wasn't crying...which she clearly was. Luna ceased her assault and got up. Celestia rose unsteadily, and looked from one wide eyed pony to another, then up at the balcony where the stunned Spike was still watching.

"We will never speak of any of the events of the past couple of weeks again." She said shakily. "Especially what just transpired. Not a word. Or you will be facing harsh consequences." And with that, she turned and walked out, doing her best to hide her red flank with her tail. Luna giggled and followed. Just before she was out the door completely, she looked behind her, eyes twinkling.

"Sweet Apple Acres, same time next weekend?"

"Eeyup." Applejack responded smiling. "We'll have the hard cider waitin' for ya! Two barrels this time!" Luna grinned and trotted out.

"We must be crazy." Dash muttered, grinning, as she shook her head.

"Count me out this time." Twilight said. "Just regular cider for me. Somepony in this group needs to stay sober so we avoid Princess Celestia's wrath." She shook her head.

Everypony started laughing.

Comments

[Isseus]

Tehee. There's nothing better than a fic that ends with seven eight sore and red butts.

derpicdn.net/img/2014/5/13/625913/large.jpg

[RebelNarrator45]

Glad you liked it!!

[Speedy Silverstreak]

You sir are truly welcome.

[Frankie2]

All I gotta say is:

[RoyalBardofCanterlot]

This was just gold.

[Eroraf86]

Ah yes, nothing like some good old-fashioned drunk pony shenanigans. Throw in the Sisters and you've got a winner.

[meerkat8472]

9205058 Well, that's a rather dark and cynical interpretation of those events, but I see your point.

[Isseus]

9205726 Sorry, I get into cynical places with Rarity. Personal bias from IRL experiences with people who act like Rarity does, except they don't have the golden heart underneath. She is a sweet little unicorn.

9205603 We all know that a bit 'o paddlin' gets the Bard a-smilin'!

[Flisky]

Wrecked the town? That's a paddlin'

[meerkat8472]

9205825 Ah, that's totally understandable.

[Shooting Star1234]

i like this story it is funny.

[dr cuttles]

if there is another chapter. i belive it would be fun if Celestia herself crashed the party, and then were convinced to join in

[TheGreatEater]

9206403
Better yet appears already drunk.

And throughout the entire shenanigans, only Twilight remains sober.

Or better yet, that. But only after Luna brings in Cadance to enjoy the festivities. So we get all the Princesses and Element Bearers smashed ... I doubt Equestria could withstand that level of partying.

[PonyDragon]

"And you!" She said in irritation. "I expected better from you, given what happened last time!"
"In our defense, Sister," Luna said. "Not a single pony ended up banished to the moon."

Still an improvement.

But at least they had learned their lesson this time...

"Sweet Apple Acres, same time next weekend?"
"Eeyup." Applejack responded smiling. "We'll have the hard cider waitin' for ya! Two barrels this time!" Luna grinned and trotted out.
"We must be crazy." Dash muttered, grinning, as she shook her head.

Or not.

[Lord Zarcon]

I can tell the author had a lot of fun writing this.

[Aweirdassguy]

"Daaaaang...." Dash mumbled in some measure of sympathy. "That's gonna smart." Celestia, meantime was backing away from her grinning younger sister.

Yep, that’s defiantly gonna smart.

[Soothing Stone]

"Not until ypu have suffered the same as us!" Was the response as Luna took aim. There was a crack that resounded through the library, followed very closely by a loud wail from Celestia.

Only real error I see, otherwise this is a well written and hilarious story.

[Gizmo Gear]

9207037
Noooooope.
9205465
Eeeeeyup.
9204118
9205058
9205726
Hmmmmm. Indeed.
9205825
Unfortunately, you are not the only one.T~T

[Skittlebug]

This is the first time ever that ROFL is accurate for me. Holy guacamole.

[Anonomis]

Round 3: Spike gets drunk worse than everyone

[Efadd]

9205603
Don’t you mean Just Gold

[RoyalBardofCanterlot]

9250043
How'd ya do that?

[Efadd]

9250050
>>9205603 Don’t you mean [color=#Efda00]Just Gold[/color]
It’s hexadecimal, 0-F, set up RRGGBB

[RebelNarrator45]

9250050
It's pretty easy. Just select the words you want to colorize, then click on the color wheel and select your color. That's it! (Super duper easy peasy!)

[zachary12]

nice work.

[Aether Spark]

How did news of Canterlots destruction Take 2 weeks to come in and how did Luna not notice?

[Undead Night Fury]

9279268
maybe she hast been to canterlot for 2 weeks...

[Aether Spark]

Arnt the the princesses required to be there?

[The Real McCoy]

Maybe I just thought about saying it and never actually got it out.

We need a Princess Luna emoticon, because to Celestia saying: "Maybe I just thought about saying it and never actually got it out." She would have replied with: "That's exactly it Sister and besides, who are you to tell me what to do, even if you had!"

[Bronzer]

9295059
I know, right? And that quote is pure Anon bait. I would love to see a smartass take her up on that opportunity and run with it.

[Bahamuttone]

"I believe my sister was quiet serious when she suggested

quite

Celestia, meantime was backing away from her grinning younger sister.

either "in the meantime" or "meanwhile"

"Not until ypu have suffered the same as us!"

you

[Obsidian Shard]

Heh, drunk pony shenanigans never cease to amuse...
As an aside...

Spike, who had been quite rudely interrupted in the middle of a comic book by the Sun Princess storming into the libraey, was hiding upsrairs, peeking over the balcony at the scene below.

Library
Upstairs.

[ComradeCheese]

Me gusta

[LunaAlpha]

I love it!

[Thor447]

"Mistakes were made" "It seemed like a good idea at the time"

here we go again

[Luna-my-favorite-pony]

I think we need another chapter

[TheCrimsonDM]

Pony paddling aside, this was a hilarious little story deserving of a like. XD

[SyphTheDragon]

oh awesome I'm the 500th like! Enjoyed this a ton!! Got yourself a new follower