Wonka Vs. Applejack

by MrPeaches

Chapter 8: I Would Still Plant My Apple Tree

And then, with a violet flash, Wonka reappeared! He frantically grabbed for some straps, secured himself, patted down his breast pocket, and then grinned at everypony, throwing one of his short “fingers” up in what appeared to be a positive gesture. “Viola!” He looked downward to where the dragon appeared to be chewing vigorously. “Who would like to hear which of my wonderful creations is going to get us out of this predicament probably?”

“S-so glad you're r-right, W-w-Wonka,” Applejack shivered. “But can't that wait until-”

“Well!” Wonka continued, “I developed a marvelous sort of chewing gum for hard workers that often don't have time for nourishing meals. It delivers all the nutrition and satisfaction of a full three-course meal – and all of the flavor, of course. There've been... complications, in the past, but over the years I finally perfected the art of making them – they did a number on world hunger, I can tell you that. Anyway, the gum is perfectly safe now as long as one doesn't, say, eat an entire box at once.”

The chocolatier glanced downward at the dragon, who from this distance didn't seem much affected, apart from perhaps looking a little more distracted. “Right now I'd wager the dragon is marveling at how much I taste like a savory French Onion Soup, and then, a hot Beef Sandwich Au Jus.”

Pinkie Pie leaned over to Applejack. “What's 'beef?'” She whispered. Applejack shrugged.

“And finally,” Wonka concluded, his voice rising in speed and volume, “strawberry pie with whipped cream for dessert. Have one piece, and it's a lovely meal. But eat a whole box of 153 pieces, and – yes, YES!” The human leapt in his harnesses and pulled Twilight to him in a mad mania, pointing down at Chalco'Zok excitedly. “There, look!”

The dragon was having difficulty flying, his movement speed decreasing. The serpent glanced at himself first in curiosity, then alarm as his stomach began ballooning outward.

“He's inflating like a balloon!” Pinkie Pie cried.

“Strawberry!” Wonka corrected.

“He's turnin' into a strawberry?” Applejack said as Chalco'Zok sank out of the sky, his scales turning from green, to brown, and then to red as he continued to swell into a distinctly strawberry-like shape, wings and legs kicking uselessly out at his sides.

“Strawberry...” Twilight mused. Far, far below there was a puff of snow around the beast as it came to ground. For a few seconds everypony just looked at one another, leather straps creaking in the silence.

“Uh. Did we win?” Applejack inquired.

Wonka began gently bringing the elevator down. “Yes indeed, friends,” he said. I should think that our dragon friend has been quite pacified now.”

“So why are we landing??” Applejack persisted.

“Why, so we can lend aid to the lout, of course – providing he sees sense,” Wonka replied as the broken bottom of the elevator crunched into the cold mountain snow not too far from the berrydragon. “Also, the elevator could have only flown for a few more minutes before we all crashed horribly. Ms. Sparkle, can you perhaps send up an emergency SOS on our behalf...?”

“Oh! Of course. Now that things have settled a bit I can use some bottled dragonfire to relay a message back to Spike.” The purple alicorn disentangled her saddle bags from where they'd been stuck together with the seed boxes.

Some moments later, the party approached the dragon, which was more closely a giant strawberry some twenty feet high, with wriggling dragon limbs attached to it. They circled around to Chalco'Zok's head, which to their amusement had remained bright green.

“Hargle blargle blarr!” The dragon said in a gurgly tone, its eyes wide with panic.

“Now now, never fear!” Wonka said, rapping the dragon's belly chummily with his cane. “You shan't be a strawberry forever, once you've been properly de-juiced. We've some help coming from the palace soon, and we'll be happy to get you back on your feet again, provided you're willing to be reasonable!”

“Hooplarg!” Chalco'Zok replied, nodding his head frantically.

Wonka glanced at Twilight, who stepped forward. “Mr. Chalco'Zok,” she said. “You shall keep your orchard of rare trees, but will sell the seeds and fruits to Equestria at a fair price, so that everyone might enjoy their benefits. No harm is to come to any of the magical trees, and in turn you will remain owner and curator of your grove. Also, the seeds and fruits we currently have in our elevator are ours, as reparation for the trouble you caused. Does this seem fair?”

Chalco'Zok nodded again, more somberly.

~~~

A few days later, at Sweet Apple Acres, the Apple family, Twilight and Spike were clustered around a large hexagonal mirror on the kitchen table.

“Are we really gonna talk with Mr. Wonka in a whole other world?” Applebloom breathed.

“That will depend on the ambient magic energy in Wonka's reality,” Twilight replied, making a few adjustments. “I think it's likely the mirror will work – otherwise how could he have built an inter-dimensional flying elevator out of sugar? I think this was a good compromise for sending Applejack.”

“I'm real sad I couldn't make the trip,” Applejack said with sarcasm thick as cheesecake.

At that moment, the magic mirror on the kitchen table flashed and began to glow with a bright violet light, eliciting awed “ooohs.” After a moment, the purple glow faded out and a scene came into view: A field of freshly sprouted Zap Apple trees, with three golden saplings growing in the middle of them. The trees appeared to be housed inside a huge building of sorts, and in the distance huge paned windows let in pale light through walls of red brick. A man who was not Wonka was peering curiously into the mirror as the scene came into view – unlike him, this one appeared to be younger; his face was smooth and unlined, his hair a bright gold color, and his eyes a grayish-blue. A simple green cap sat atop his head. He wore a suit of green with no overcoat, and the sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to the elbow. Suspenders with buttons of brass shaped like wrapped candies were the only adornment on his person, and his face bespoke earnestness and honesty.

As the picture solidified, his voice cut in. “-r's started to activate. I think that these saplings have somehow – oh! Ah, hello there! Land sakes, you're really all colorful ponies! Wow, but your... eyes are big. Can you hear me?” His face was a picture of wonderment.

“Howdy!” Applejack said. Everypony else echoed Applejack's greeting, and gave their names. “Charlie. Charlie Bucket,” the man on the other side of the mirror offered in turn, doffing his cap. “Hold on one minute – Willy's going to be thrilled. Willy! Willy, come quick – the mirror's working!”

From out in the distance Willy Wonka came jogging, spry as ever, once again in his fancy purple garb.

“Wild success! Beyond our wildest dreams!” He settled in front of the mirror next to Charlie and threw an arm over his shoulder. “This, dear hearts, is Charlie Bucket, owner and proprietor of my factory and my most worthy heir.”

“As soon as Wonka planted the golden apples, their saplings came up like daisies,” Charlie elaborated, glancing over his shoulder to where the saplings stood like three rods of sunshine. “Then there was a terrific crash of thunder from the Zap Apple seeds, and whizz-bang! Zap Apple orchard! Not a moment later, and on comes the mirror!”

“No kiddin'!” Applejack said. “That seems to be how it's goin' over here, concernin' the Golden Apples and all. Seems to take a whole apple before a sapling will sprout, but once you plant one, you get a sapling just like that!” She thought of the place just out back of the house, where their Golden Apple tree had taken to the soil like a fawn to a meadow, and now in the late afternoons the sun would reflect off the tree's half-moon leaves, suffusing the kitchen in aurous light.

“Mr. Wonka, Mr. Bucket,” Twilight chimed in. “You say that the Zap Apples and the mirror didn't work until the Golden Apple saplings had sprouted?”

“Just so!” They both said in unison.

“I see,” Twilight's brow furrowed. “It could be that these golden apples carry Equestrian magic within them. If the mirror didn't activate until the golden apple trees grew...” The purple alicorn paced back and forth. “We'd hoped that your magical climate would be compatible with Equestrian plants in controlled conditions, but now I fear that perhaps the Golden Apples have introduced Equestrian magic into your world – perhaps they're even generating it.” Twilight swiped the quill and scroll from Spike and jotted down notes, looking unhappy. “A magic generating plant is unheard of, even in arcane herblore. We may well have introduced a foreign magic into your world, one whose effects we couldn't possibly predict!” Twilight shouted, pressing her hooves against her cheeks.

“Oh yes, that's exactly what's happened,” Wonka replied matter-of-factly.

“Oh, absolutely,” Charlie concurred.

Seeing the stricken look on Twilight's face as she faced down the possibility of a calamitous inter-dimensional domino-effect, Charlie gave a reassuring smile. “Your Highness, I implore you, don't worry about us here. After all, Wonka's been at his wanderings for years now – we've all manner of fantastic things in here, from all over everything. This place is more than just a factory – it's a home to thousands of plants, beasts, rocks, hats, and peoples – very few of whom originated here.”

In the background, a short fellow with orange skin and green hair walked by with a watering can, giving a wave to the mirror before continuing on his way.

“Well... I suppose that's true,” Twilight said, somewhat mollified. “Still, we'll keep in communication, won't we? I'll move this mirror to my castle after we're done here, and if anything starts to get... strange, contact us right away, won't you?”

“Count on it,” Charlie nodded.

For a moment, nopony spoke. A bee buzzed in through the kitchen window and settled on a little speck of Zap Apple jam that Applebloom had missed on the stove top. Big Mac stared off into space, silently re-evaluating his understanding of reality and the cosmos. Applebloom was busy staring at everything in the strange world beyond, Spike was taking notes, Twilight was lost in thought, and Granny Smith seemed to be drifting off to sleep despite herself. Applejack pushed a little wrapped candy around on the tabletop with a forehoof. It was one of the last of the first ever batch of Zap Apple Dandy candies made by Wonka, who couldn't stop himself from experimenting while he was waiting on his great glass elevator to be repaired. The candy and its recipe had been Wonka's last gifts to Equestria, the dessert to the reintroduction of hundreds of helpful magical trees, and the priceless Golden Apples.

“Um... well then.” Applejack stood, and put on her hat, its brim a little low. “I reckon we've kept these folks from their work long enough, Apples. Golden Apples are growin', Zap Apples are growin, so I guess that's that.”

The others made their goodbyes and filed out of the kitchen, and Spike went out around back to make a sketch of the Golden Apple tree. Applejack and Twilight were left alone with the mirror and the two on the other side.

“Well, uh...” Applejack said. “... That was some good work out there, Mr. Wonka. Mighty fine job.”

“'Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree,'” Wonka replied. “Farewell, Applejack! May your harvests be ever bountiful and your rains gentle. Thank you once again for going along with the schemes of this old scallywag.”

And just like that, they were gone, and the mirror went dark. Applejack adjusted her hat and walked to the kitchen exit. “I aughta make sure them gloomgrubs aren't sniffin' around the zap apple tree roots again.”

“Applejack,” Twilight chided with a smile, “Are you going to miss Mr. Wonka and you don't want to show it?”

“Nope!” Applejack said, leaving. Before her last hind leg had cleared the tile, however, the applepony paused. “Still... it's a shame that we didn't mention them crystal berries to him, from the Crystal Empire. Or them crazy floatin' melons that grow around Las Pegasus. I dunno. It's fine. I was just thinkin' was all. I dunno.” With that, she was gone.

Twilight smiled and levitated the mirror gently off the table. “C'mon, Spike! Let's go home!” She called. She exited the Apples' kitchen. “Note to self: Notify Mr. Bucket / Wonka of additional ingredient ideas at our next correspondence...”

And off they went, down the soft dirt path into town, to the crystal castle glittering in the morning sun, as Applejack joined her siblings in the Zap Apple orchard for post-season chores, touseling the bow on little Applebloom's head. The birds sang, and the bees buzzed, and in the sunlight, shining, shining, the Golden Apple sapling grew: strong, limber, and good.

Comments

[Cheer]

That was actually pretty entertaining. Good job.

[RedX-100]

Very well written, and you've managed to capture Gene Wilder's interpretation of Wonka splendidly! A+!

[Majin Syeekoh]

Yeah this was pretty enjoyable.👍

[Courage Fire]

Not bad. I actually approve. Good work man.

[RBDash47]

I was very skeptical when this story was recommended to me, but it was a pleasant surprise! Very well done and entertaining.

[PresentPerfect]

What a marvel, and a delight. I think half the magic is that you emerged from the ether to post this story and then leave to whence you'd come. It's a shame you'll not likely give us more, but this is treasure in itself.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Bizarre, delightful, and thoroughly Dahlic. (I think that's the adjective form... even if it does bring extermination-happy pepper pots to mind.)

Also, now I can't help but think that Oompa-Loompas actually originated in the Equestria Girls universe. And Snails may well have them in his ancestry.

[LilGuppy]

Great story! You capture the charm and quirkiness of Wonka so well. This is definitely going into my favorites! And congrats on being featured on Equestria Daily!

[Cosmic_Crisp]

I thought Infinity war was the most ambitious crossover ever.

[Bugsydor]

This was fantastic in many senses of the word. I enjoyed myself thoroughly.

And the rumors that you had beautifully, seamlessly combined Wonka and Ponies were fully substantiated.

[Phantom Dragon]

This is a wonderful story it's full of whimsy and delight .

[ComradeCheese]

This is one of those stories where you look at the title and it is love at first sight let's dig in

[rikithemonk]

haven't read this yet, so this is not a review. but my first thought after reading the title. "Wonka vs Applejack"

Was just that Applejack is just Fucked.

The Monk

“There is no one in the world harder, crueler or more critical, than an introvert looking at themselves.” -Anonymous

[Xzrea]

Looks like this story made it to the popular list (w/o mature) due to PresentPerfect's review. That's nice!

[CrystalWaters]

aurous light

Ooh, very nice word use there.

[Ponka]

What a great read, awesome work!

[Soge]

What a lovely exercise in whimsy. Great work capturing the voice of Wonka, and in meshing together both worlds!

[Rhettbutler]

Certainly a nice read. Well done sir. I tip my hat to you.

[SigmasonicX]

Great job! You managed to capture Gene Wilder's voice as Wonka perfectly, albeit a kinder version since this is post-movie. He manages to fit in perfectly in this setting. The ponies were all great too. I also thought the dragon scenario was pretty clever.

[Rhettbutler]

9771079
Neat

[PaulAsaran]

You can has review!