• Published 2nd Jul 2017
  • 1,233 Views, 53 Comments

Wonka Vs. Applejack - MrPeaches

When the legendary candy-maker shows up in Equestria, a simple business proposal turns into an adventure that could change apple-farming in Equestria forever!

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Chapter 1: Weirdo at the Windowsill

The scent of a spring morning shaken in a vat of cider and rolled in sugar - Zap Apple season had come once again to the picturesque province of Ponyville. All was hustle and bustle at Sweet Apple Acres, from whence the zap apples came. A line of ponies stood on the soft dirt road running by the farm, nose-to-tail all the way back into Ponyville proper. Upon a humble wooden stand was a merry stack of jars of Zap Apple jam, bright rainbow stripes glistening in the sun. As she usually did this time of year, Applejack greeted her customers and collected bits while Big Mac helped ponies with larger orders get the jars into their saddlebags, occasionally cantering off to haul another wagon of zap apples into the kitchen, where Granny Smith and AppleBloom made the preserves.

Cheerilee, the magenta-coated schoolteacher, greeted the Apples as she trotted up to the stand. “Hello, Applejack! And hello, Big Mac!” she smiled. “Two jars of zap apple jam, please!” Cheerilee dipped her muzzle into her saddlebags and dropped the bits onto the stand, heavy gold clattering on wood.

“Comin' right up, Miss Cheerilee!” Applejack scooped the bits into the collection box behind the counter with a forehoof, and smiled as she saw her little sister Applebloom in the distance exit the farmhouse with a fresh batch of jam.

“Has the harvest been good this year?” Cheerilee inquired as Big Mac deposited the jam jars carefully into her saddlebags.

“Sure has! This year, we got more zap apples than feathers on a flock of fifty pheasants!”

“How wonderful! Well, I'd best be moving along; don't want hold up the line! Good luck!” The Apples waved goodbye to the schoolteacher as she headed back into town.

As the next townspony stepped forward, screams shook open the sleepy afternoon air.

Applejack's ears swiveled toward the house in time to hear the clatter of glass jars in the distance. “What in the– Applebloom? Granny?” Applejack's hooves kicked up dirt in a gallop, Big Mac rumbling behind her like a locomotive. Had there been a kitchen accident? Had somepony slipped on some stray jam? Tumbled over a glass jar? Found a spider in the cupboard and been so surprised that they stumbled back into the boiling hot... the boiling... gulp!!!

It wasn't anything like that- it was something a lot weirder. Resting its foreleg at an odd angle on the kitchen windowsill, a forepaw on its cheek, was some manner of odd beast, smiling in at them with a smile that was not unkind but also vaguely disconcerting. It had smooth skin, like some sort of lizard, but a bit of mane spilled out from under a pith helmet on its head, which it doffed to tip at them. Its nose and eyes were tiny compared to a pony's, and its lined face was jarringly flat. It wore sturdy tan-colored garments as if for travel, but a bright purple scarf of crushed velvet was slung about its neck and shoulders. Strangest of all were its forepaws; it looked as if someone had glued a starfish to the end of each of its hooves. The ends waved and bent in ways that made Applejack think of some manner of bug.

For a hot second the Apple Family recoiled as the thing continued to look in. “What a lovely home you have,” it complimented casually. “I like the décor – pink polka dots, very nice.”

Applejack leaned over to Big Mac. “Big Mac, go get Twilight. … Get Fluttershy too.” The orange farmpony's eyes narrowed. “And while you're at it, ask her if Discord is in town. This has his stamp all over it.” With a last squint at the creature, Big Mac exited swiftly. The farmpony stepped forward into the kitchen, ears flattened. “All right you... whatever you are! I ain't never seen your like before, but ain't no critter has any business frightenin' my family!” She gestured around the kitchen. “There's a hot stove and glass jars in here—you coulda hurt somepony!” Applejack cocked an eye at the strange lanky creature. “And if yer actually Discord in disguise, you also know that today ain't no time for pranks!”

The purple-scarved creature took a step back from the window, doffed its helmet and bowed its head. “I am sorry, madam,” it apologized. “You see, I happened to be passing by when I caught the most interesting and tantalizing aroma – I've never seen the like of these apples here.”

Applebloom had retrieved the fallen jars and handed them to Granny Smith for inspection, all ponies keeping one eye on the stranger. They glanced over to Applejack, willing to follow her lead. Applejack sighed; this was the worst possible day for this weirdness to happen. The line would be getting antsy by now. She had to get this creature to clear off, preferably hospitably. Placing a fresh jar of zap apple jam on the windowsill and pushing it toward the creature with a forehoof, she explained “These here are zap apples, stranger – one of our special crops here at Sweet Apple Acres. Here – take yourself a free jar of our zap apple jam. But now I'm afraid I gotta ask ya kindly if you'd steer clear o' the farmhouse – zap apple season is one of our busiest times of the year, and we have a huge line of ponies waitin' to buy jam!”

The creature took the jar of preserves with an eager grin, and turned it over in its... foreleg grippers, testing the jar's heft and holding it up to the light. “By the work one knows the workmen,” it murmured to itself. “Yes, very good – magnifique!” It turned to its enormous travel bag, sitting in the grass nearby, and swapped the jar with a small stack of flat objects bound together with a delicate red ribbon. It set the bundle upon the windowsill and pushed it toward Applejack as she had done with the jar. “I won't hear of charity for such a quality jam – these are Wonka Bars, from my factory. I'm a chocolatier: Willy Wonka at your service.”

Applejack glanced down at the “Wonka Bars;” the paper labels were brown, bordered with red, with white and yellow lettering in a script she did not recognize. “Uh... name's Applejack,” said Applejack.

Willy Wonka chuckled. “'Applejack?' I'm fond of a blackberry brandy myself.” He stood and holstered his pack. “I'll leave you to your business, but might I trouble you this evening? You see, I'm currently on an expedition of sorts, looking for new ingredients and flavors for candies. I simply must bring back the zap apple to my factory!”

Without bothering to wait for a reply, the lanky creature with the purple scarf turned and set off at a jaunty space, twirling a wooden walking stick. An ever-fainter string of gasps and yelps of surprise told her that the stranger was apparently taking the road back into Ponyville. Well, at least that would save her from having to explain her absence at the jam stand.

Granny Smith, now recovered from her fright, tapped a spoon contemplatively against the pot of jam cooking on the stove. “Did he say he was a chocolatier? With a factory? Why, Applejack, this could be quite an opportunity! There're precious few places to get zap apples in Equestria; can you imagine Sweet Apple Acres supplyin' 'em to a big candy factory?”

Applebloom watched with interest as Applejack bit gently on the ribbon around the candy and set it on the table. “What in Equestria was that thing?” The filly piped up. “He was kinda creepy...”

“I'm sure I don't know, but Equestria's filled with all manner o' strange beasties. We shouldn't think less of this Wonka jus' 'cause he looks like somebody took the broad side of a board to a vulture – he seemed polite,” Granny countered.

“I suppose you're right...” Applejack said, although she agreed more with Applebloom. She looked at the bars. The scent of chocolate rose from the package, and despite being more of a pie pony she caught her mouth starting to water. She shook her head. “Anyways, Twilight'll be able to suss out any funny stuff, and we got all the rest of zap apple season to go – let's get back to work, y'all!” She trotted out the front door, turning her head at the last minute to call out “And until I say otherwise, nopony touch that chocolate!”

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