• Published 2nd Jul 2017
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Wonka Vs. Applejack - MrPeaches



When the legendary candy-maker shows up in Equestria, a simple business proposal turns into an adventure that could change apple-farming in Equestria forever!

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Chapter 3: The End, Surely

The next morning the Apples held a conference round the breakfast table.

“Well...” Granny Smith thought aloud, “Wasn't ever the Apple family way to keep the secret to growin' good apples to ourselves. Now if he was after the recipe for zap apple jam, I might have more of a quarrel, but as it is, I think we aught to sell our surplus to this Wonka feller.”

Big Mac chewed thoughtfully on a mouthful of flapjacks. “Eyup,” he agreed.

“Seeds should just shoot up into trees, too, so no need to worry about saplings I guess.” Applejack chased a raspberry around her plate with her forehoof.

“But what about the signs? The timberwolves? The crows?” Applebloom tilted her head, bow bobbing. “You think he's got all of them in that factory of his?”

Applejack sighed. They'd harvested zap apples for so long that she'd grown used to all the signs and steps that caused the trees to grow. “We'll have to let him know about those ahead of time. It's only fair.”

“It's true; there's a reason not every apple orchard bothers with zap apple trees,” Granny Smith agreed. “Too much hassle for some ponies!”

“Eyup,” Big Mac concurred.

~~~

As the second day of zap apple jamming came to a close, prosperous and busy, Willy Wonka came a-calling again, stepping up the dirt road with a jaunty skip. The sky was the color of a ripe Pink Lady, save for a growing mass of dark clouds the pegasi were building in the distance. Looked like rain was scheduled for tonight. Applejack had heard the word “Wonka” more times today than she ever thought she would in her life; no stranger to odd beasties, the townsponies had really taken a liking to the creature's easygoing manner and casual mystique. Applejack didn't think that the candy was hurting his case, either. The Wonka Bars he'd given her were holed up in the pantry somewhere; she was still holding out in case some sort of candy-induced mass hypnosis broke out or something.

Around Wonka bounced a manic pink pony with a poofy, pinker mane and tail – Pinkie Pie had apparently been following Wonka around everywhere, trying to ply candy-making tips out of him since he'd arrived. “Applejack! Applejack!” she cried, bouncing over to her. “You won't believe the advice Mr. Wonka has been giving me on my candy canes! Next Hearth's Warming Eve is going to blow. Your. MIND!!!” She sprang over the top of Applejack giddily.

“That's nice, Pinkie,” Applejack smiled. She nodded to Wonka, who bowed in a gentlemanly fashion, and ushered him and Pinkie over to a table in the yard, covered with a red gingham tablecloth. The rest of the Apples were in attendance and had laid out iced tea and Appleloosa-style toast, with butter and zap apple jam. Wonka had brought Melty Mint Munches and Lemon Popples. A rooster crowed in the distance as the tall candymaker from another dimension sat and had tea and toast with the colorful apple-farming ponies.

“So! Uh,” Applejack began, “How're you likin' Equestria, Mr. Wonka?”

“A veritable promised land, my dear,” the man replied. “A bright spot amongst the cosmos.”

“Uh... thanks,” Applejack replied. “Anyways, ain't no point in beatin' around the bush: we talked it over and we're all right with you startin' your own zap apple orchard at your factory-”

“Huzzah!” Wonka exclaimed.

“-but given that you're not from Equestria and all, we're not 100% certain that they'd grow properly! See, zap apples ain't like your normal apples – they're magical, and before they bear fruit there're signs, and birds, and lightnin' – it gets a little... unusual. Are ya still fine with buyin' zap apples knowin' that?”

“But of course. Just tell me what the trees need and I'll take notes.”

“All right! Let's get to the specifics. You got a parchment on ya...?”

They set to work, and soon had amicably traded the zap apple surplus and the knowledge of growing the trees for the entire bag of bits – the Apples offered to negotiate for a little less, but Wonka insisted on the whole shebang. “I'll be shoving off as soon as I have the apples,” the chocolatier explained, “And besides, 'it's health that's the real wealth – not pieces of gold and silver.'”

“Ain't it the truth!” Granny Smith agreed.

And so it was, on a cricket-filled evening, that Applejack loaded up Wonka's Great Glass Elevator with barrels of zap apples and crates of jam, aided by Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle. The glassy transparent sides of the elevator threw the colors of sunset about, the brassy frame glowing as if molten in the light. The box was fairly large and fortunately so; when the zap apples were loaded in alongside the armchair, bookshelf, sleeping cot, candy boxes and tea set, the lanky Wonka could scarcely squeeze himself in. As he lifted off into the night sky after gracious goodbyes, Pinkie Pie dabbed her blue eyes with a hoofkerchief. “There goes a true hero of candy,” she sniffed.

“It's incredible...” Twilight reflected. “To think that Equestria is surrounded by all sorts of different worlds, full of new friends.”

Applejack made a skeptical face at the sky.

“I wonder if the zap apples will grow all right,” Twilight tapped a hoof to her chin. “After all, they're a completely alien plant species... that no biome in Wonka's world has ever encountered before... from an entirely different world... and they're also magical.” There was a pause. “Uh, I think I'm going to head home, girls. I... have things to think about.” The purple alicorn made a hurried exit.

“Oh! Me too!” Pinkie Pie chirruped. “Like, what am I going to do with all these candy-making tips I got from Mr. Wonka?? I could have Spike write them down like in a book or something and make it available to all the candy makers in Equestria... or should I pass along the tips to Mr. and Mrs. Cake??? They're always on the lookout for this kind of stuff, even though they're mostly into pastry... what do you think Twilight... Twilight?” The pink pony turned to catch Twilight galloping off into the distance. “Huh. Well I'll ask her tomorrow.” The party planner smiled at Applejack. “Well, I guess I'll hit the hay too. You got it from here, AJ?”

The apple farmer nodded tiredly. “Sure am. I guess things worked out pretty well for Sweet Apple Acres, but I sure am glad this Wonka business is over.”

Pinkie Pie scrunched up her muzzle. “Wha...? How come you didn't like Mr. Wonka?? He was super nice and funny, and he knows so much about candy!!”

“I don't know...” Applejack thought. “He just seemed to... know too much. Like when he was lookin' at ya, he already had ya all figured out. To be honest, he gave me the-”

“The 'Willy's??” Pinkie giggled. Applejack laughed despite herself. “Yep.”

“Well, don't worry... he didn't seem to be in a hurry to come back to Equestria. So, I guess we'll never see him again.” Pinkie began backing toward town. For some reason, she stood on her hind legs and waggled her forehooves. “Surely we will never see him again!” As she disappeared from sight, faintly on the wind Applejack heard: “Suuuuurely we will never see him agaaaaain...”

Shaking her head, Applejack made her way back to her warm bed. Pinkie Pies would be Pinkie Pies.

In eight days, they saw him again.

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