• Member Since 27th Sep, 2013
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I like to think I'm a great writer but I suck


Comments ( 581 )

Spike still in a rut plus dizzy giving spike permission to have sex with pinkie plus how most girls are like in this story = shenanigans

Ok sequel to the story frombefore glad but one question.


i get he was recovering and now had to recover again but come on!
He needs NO Desrves to finally get some dam BOOTY!

Hey there! I see you're continuing RHD! I'd like to add two quick writing tips, if I may:

First off, if dialogue ends or is interrupted by a variation of 'said', the spoken part is normally finished with a comma instead of a full stop. It's kind of still the same sentence, that's why it's usually done. For exampe

“To Rarity.” Twilight answered. “She put together a new swimsuit for me and I wanna check it out.”

would become

“To Rarity,” Twilight answered. “She put together a new swimsuit for me and I wanna check it out.”

Question marks and exclamation points are unaffected.

Secondly, when characters address one another, writers normally put a comma directly in front of the word they're calling the other. There often is a very short pause there in real life, but the more important reason is to avoid confusion. Take this:

“Come on Pinkie maybe I can help.”

Here, the speaker is telling someone else to come on Pinkie. With a comma it becomes

“Come on, Pinkie, maybe I can help.”

Now we know definitively that the speaker is directly talking to Pinkie Pie.

So Spike gets with Twilight cliche?

I'm glad there's a sequel to the original story. Looking forward to reading this.

I'm so glad the author remembered about Rarity breaking Pinkie's Party Cannon. This trip is going to be awkward for them. And in two days, Spike can legally GET LAID FINALLY. Spike is going to be in for a rough morning. Twilight, you are either stupid, forgetful, or both.

So is Twilight like turning into yandere for Spike, because she's showing signs of such


oh dear lord, i dont know if im ready for a sequel
eitherway im gonna read it

8205149 Very true. Commas also helps us distinguish

“Come on Pinkie maybe I can help.”


“Come on Pinkie, maybe I can help.”

which is lewd.

8206145 Well Twilight is sneaking into Spikes bed (and she knows he's in rut season) and cuddling and kissing him. It makes me think she wants him to take her.

Spike's Estrus cycle is getting less resistant and pretty soon either he'll rut mares into oblivion or kill ponies in cold blood.

Maoorrrrrr pleeease

Please make more. I love the stories. :)

is spike going tohave romance in his life. or just one shot.

i'll hope from god to have mercy on spike's soul...
Wait, what if Celestia is god? :rainbowderp:

Man, poor spike has been struggling for more than half a year throughout this story

Okay, that's it. Just throw Pinkie and Rarity into a room until they kill each other or kiss and make up.

Also Pinkie should be forbidden from having sex with Dizzy until he fully recovers. Even if that means no snu-snu for the rest of this vacation.

Why do people like writing storied with anthro ponies with ridiculous cup sizes? Do you realize how cumbersome they would be? Trust me, I've been with a woman with DDs. They're a chore to work around, a lot of good positions are practically impossible with them, and cuddling face to face is just a pain. They're no fun.

It's still a good story, though.

Well, I expect a grumpy Blueblood throughout this story. I'm sure more reasons for him to dislike this city will show up. Celestia will probably need to be held back from crushing Spike again once he wakes up. I know the guilt is killing her right now. This vacation is going to be Tartarus for Spike.

I have to agree. A woman should only have G-cups in stories is if they're at least 8ft. tall.

At least I can usually just imagine Cs or Ds, as long as there isn't too much focus on their size, and this is a good story.

Damn, poor Dizzy! But I can't help but laugh!

I can't take it anymore. Spike has to get his rut under control or get somepony to do it for him, I don't care if it has to be Twilight, Celestia, Luna, any of his girl friends, or all at the same time. Our boy needs a willing, sturdy partner now.

Spike needs to get laid like seriously.

Something's gotta give.

By the looks of things he'll explode in 12 hours.

i ask agian will spike get a mare? to love?

As much as I'm starting to really think this is a Spilight just waiting to happen, I honestly believe that Twilight's not gonna be the one that pops Spike's cherry....Pinkie's gonna be the mare that is the first to ride the dragon...and she's gonna be one of the few that don't mate with Spike while his eyes are glowing blue...I really think could be in the cards...it's so touching how Pinkie and Spike act around each other, they both have stood when the other were really down in the dumps, both really seem to know the other, and if it wasn't for the fact that Pinkie's already taken with Dizzy (kudos to him for being one of Spike bros, especially after what happened in the previous story) and that Twilight needs someone after Stargazer, I would assume that Pinkie and Spike were a couple already--just unoffically, since Spike was technically underage in the previous story.

Who else thinks that Pinkie could Spike's first girl? :pinkiesmile:

Oh for fuck sakes get him laid already. It must be torture for him to not get sexed and having to deal with losing his shit over sexy thoughts. I would of done it if the chances slapped my face like during. That black week he went through.

This is literal torture for spike.
All previous story and now this.

Other than my previous comment, another part of me is thinking that there could be a case of Last Girl Wins in play here. Don't you think that there's the possibility that as Spike celebrates his birthday with his friends and family (not to mention helping Twilight cope with the loss of her former beau Stargazer) there could be a point where helping each other recover leads to romance? After all, other than Celestia and Luna (Mom and Auntie respectively), I can't say anypony else that could be suitable other than Spike and Twilight. I would say that before there would be an unknown character waiting to be introduced or even Pinkie going with Spike because of the falling out with Dizzy from the previous chapter. Maybe that's too easy. Maybe there's the concern of it being a rebound because of grief and it's doomed to fail. But after all, everyone else is paired off, except for Spike and Twilight, and both have been punched in the gut (for Spike, quite literally) by those that were supposed to be their love that have so vehemently betrayed them and left the alicorn and dragon emotionally hollow.

well they already need to get him a crotch cast

8273504 Do you honestly believe that alone will stop a pissed off Pinkie Pie in need of stress relief?

Can't wait for more.

How can Spike be 18 when he was just hade his 17 birthday at the time of the gala?

Spike's birthday is the week after the gala, also the original plan was for him to be 17 when *spoilers* *spoilers* *spoilers* happens but I had to change it in order to keep within the guidelines. Sorry if it wasn't clear, i'm still fixing mistakes.

Ok that makes sens. 16 best year.

Great work Spike woohhoo!
I Love blueblood now!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA, What funny think it was Blueblood who makes Pinkie be on Rampage, I think he was just the pony who wants to see the city on fire, and not be the next villain there. Good work.

Wow. I knew Blueblood didn't like having to be in Baltimare but DAMN! Now I see what Rainbow was worried about. Pinkie can handle cider, just not the alcoholic variety. The backlash from this is going to be very harsh, to say the least. I hope something is feeding off of Blueblood's hatred of this city in order to possess him.

What are BlueBlood intentions?
Why does he "sent" Pinkie on an alocholic crazed murder spree.

Poor Spike. Not only he's "scared" of hurting his friends, now he can't even orgasm on his first time with Twilight.

.................well that was unexpected. Oh well NOW HE BETTER IMPREGNATE HER.

That was so cool

I don't know if "kill more" were the perfect words to choose in this scenario unless blueblood is crazy enough about those ponies.

Either way, great chapter! poor Spike is gonna get another thing getting blue at this rate.

If ya know what I mean :trollestia:

Now that's what I call a party.

Yes he is...........unfortunately for him, he doesn't get his way

Recovery for the Heartbroken Dragon chapter 2 first paragraph. That is all.

Nice Rocko reference

Doesn't hurt to have an unfortunate miracle? Oh well I tried..........

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