• Member Since 30th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Joeyjambo122


I am a very recent brony as well a fan of Spike and Shining Armor and a first time writer, so wish me luck!

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Shining Armor has always believed that hard work and dedication was the only thing needed to achieve what you want to do in life, which is why the only thing he's ever focused on was his guard training in order to move up from being a simple recruit to a full fledged Royal Guard.

Though he always thought the only friends he needed were his family, little sister, and his two young dragon assistants, Spike and his twin sister Spines, he soon has to rely on this in order to face the return of Nightmare Moon on the one thousandth year of the Summer Sun Celebration.


Additional character tags: Nightmare Moon, original characters, Hondo Flanks/Magnum, and Spike.


Reimaging of 'Friendship is Magic'
This awesome artwork does not belong to me and belongs to the original creator, icyfire888.

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 53 )

Hey, this wouldn't by any chance be related to my ongoing "Friendship is Magic: Stallion Edition" fanfic, would it? It has a similar premise and list of characters (Shining Armor, Spike, Big Macintosh, Braeburn, and Soarin). What a coincidence.

I'm joking, this is probably just a very uncanny similarity with a different premise. I'll have to check it out, but in the meantime:

7525871 in case your wondering, Spike isn't a member of this mane six, Rarity and Sweetie Belle's father, Magnum is.

7525871 And no, I never read that story.

You should have had Twilight be mysteriously absent for two seasons worth of chapters, then reveal her out of nowhere.

7525894 I'd rather not repeat that running theme thank you, and the firest chapter is out now.

So how old is Applejack in this story? Is she now older then Twilight or will she many joking with Twilight and possibly Rarity in forming a version of the CMC? Or will some other member of the canon mane 6 be showing up?

7525879 I know he's not, he wasn't in my story either, but he still played a big role in several chapters.

7525882 Are you sure? If not, it might not hurt to at least look it to make sure you don't unintentionally copy anything from my fic (for right now you'd only need to look at the first twelve chapters. They were the original story, everything since then have been unofficial seperate series that the moderators forced me to merge back into the original).

7525976 I'm sure I've never read your story before until you mentioned it to me and I started reading it, and it was just a really crazy coincidence that I used some of the same characters you have. I did consider bringing in Thunderlane as one of my bearers, but I decided to go with Flash Sentry.

Hm, this is actually sounding kind of similar to "Friendship is Shining", except there Shining Armor is Princess Celestia's student because he is younger than he is in the show. But the addition of a second dragon assistant sounds interesting, though Spines isn't much different from Spike, she's just less of a wise cracker.

I would also recommend a proofreader and/or maybe a long-term editior. There's a lot of times where's it hard to tell when one character stops talking and another starts.

7526002 I'm trying to make her personality sound similar to Mabel from Gravity Falls, which you could from the different shirts she wears.

I'm considering putting a running joke similar to what Bonnie does with her brother Clemont in the pokemon anime.

Okay, while this definitely has potential for only the third fanfic to ever make Shining Armor the bearer of The Element of Magic, I'm noticing lots of spelling mistakes. And a good rule of thumb to keep in mind, is to always start a new paragraph whenever another character speaks, or the narrative shifts to them. Let's see where this goes. :eeyup:

7525970 Eh, "Friendship is Shining" has Twilight as a filly, and Applejack as a fully grown mare. It's probably something similar here (or I could be wrong).

7526022 I see, but I don't know about that running gag. But I haven't seen the anime since the end of Best Wishes, so I have no idea what you're talking about. (For the record, I haven't bothered to keep tabs on the anime since then. The latest stuff just doesn't interest me anymore. I could go into detail about why, but this isn't the place to discuss it).

It's true but Twilight won't have a major role like she did in that story.

7526034 It's similar to what Brock did whenever he met a beautiful girl, but instead, Bonnie is trying to find her brother a suitable wife, much to his embarrassment. Then of course, he drags her away with a mechanical Aipom arm.

7526002 Accusing the guy of "unintentionally" robbing your story's concept when clearly they don't show much resemblance when compared, huh? Your ego is showing, might want to tone it down a bit.

7526089 First off, I didn't write "Friendship is Shining", though I can see why you're getting it confused with the fic I wrote. Second, I was joking. I know it's just a coincidence.

Looks like it could use some proofreading.

7526139
Wasn't talking about that story, but whatever.

I was glad to see that Flash Sentery was on the ball about Rainbow Dash's work ethic. Hopefully he can whip her into shape.

Hopefully this is just a first draft. Needs some proofreading but otherwise was good.

7547946 Heh sorry, I really don't know a whole lot about getting an editor or stuff like that, I'll try to get some kind of editor, but for now, not yet. So pleas ebare with me until then and thanks for reading!

Hey there. So far, this looks to be a pretty good story. The exchanges, characterizations, emotional content, humor and future chapter set-up are all well done in all the right places. I can understand almost every bit of casting you have done, but there IS one bit of casting I have to ask about simply out of pure curiosity; why did you pick Braeburn instead of Cheese Sandwich? It's cool any way; I'm just curious.

At any rate, I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this as soon as time and inspiration will allow.

Scootaloo as Flash Sentry's little sister? That's surprisingly not the first time I've heard of that idea.

7548113 There was two reasons for including Braeburn. One being I really liked the character himself and two, he has a very silly personality and I'm pretty you have an idea of which element of harmony he represents.

Give me a guess of which character represents a specific element of harmony. Magic for Shining Armor obviously.

7548215 Fair enough.

Well, Big Mac is probably going to be Honesty, Braeburn is probably going to be Laughter, Flash is probably going to be Loyalty, which would leave Soarin' with either Kindness or Generosity and Hondo with the leftover. Though I'll admit I COULD be wrong on MOST of them.

Other than having to decipher spelling mistakes, I'm LOVING this story. :pinkiehappy:

Hey there. Thanks greatly for getting this next chapter up. I really appreciate you going to the effort. As usual, excellent job on the exchanges, emotional content, humor and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I particularly liked Magnum rescuing Shining from Rarity AND Spines and Sweetie Belle's meeting. :-D I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this as soon as time and inspiration will allow.

Uh, I'm a bit confused about what happened with Spines and Spike once they made it out of Rarity's boutique. :applejackconfused:

7564791 What did Spines do that got Spike so mad with her?

7564810 So you didn't notice she was embarrassing him by attempting to get him a wife? This is recurring thing for the siblings, with Spike dragging her off everytime she attempts to get him a wife (despite her brother being a little underage)

Since they are both his assistants and are around him almost 24/7, he's seen this odd behavior before and has grown used to it.

7564828 But who was Spines trying to pair Spike up with?

7564833 Any random mare or important character in future stories. It's a recurring gag.

So I wonder how Magnum will fit into the team? Maybe as team dad?

7565380 Or maybe he's supposed to be the element of generosity?

Hey there. Yeah, I can completely understand how real world concerns have to take top priority (especially real world concerns LIKE THAT), so I'm cool with the chapters taking a while.

Anyway, excellent job on this chapter. The exchanges, emotional content and future chapter set-up are all well done in all the right places. I just hope Pinkie doesn't get too jealous when Brae meets Little Strongheart and Brae doesn't get too jealous when Pinkie meets Cheese Sandwich. :-D Okay, sorry about that bad joke. (sheepish grin)

And, yeah, the flashback was quite well done. Both sides can be seen on the matter concerning Shiny and Cady's argument. At any rate, I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this as soon as time and inspiration will allow.

Wasn't expecting that part with Cadence. :fluttercry:

I get the feeling that Shining blew it big time with Cadance and that avenue will be forever closed to him.

7593925 I wouldn't say forever...

So Sunburst is the equivalent of Sunset Shimmer in this universe? So then, is Sunburst replaced by Sunset Shimmer for the "Big Important Wizard" who used to be a student of Celestia's? :trixieshiftright:

So I wonder just how Shining Armor hope to pull off this ad hoc rescue operation? Hopefully Soarin will give this operation some legitimacy.

7624282 Some people have this headcanon that the two of them are siblings.

Hey there. Thanks greatly for getting this next chapter up. I really appreciate you going to the effort. Again, great job on the exchanges, emotional content, action and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I particularly liked Spike's comment about suddenly not needing to use the bathroom. I just hope the rescue is successful.

I mean, yeah, we can probably guess most of the stuff is going to turn out all right in the end, but we don't know for certain and, if they do, indeed, work out all right in the end, it will be some time before we see HOW.

And, hopefully, some of the future stories in this series (if there ARE future stories) will be focused on characters other than this universe's Element Bearers and in other cities beyond Ponyville and Canterlot.

But, at any rate, that's for much further down the road if it comes and I will still be looking forward to more of this as soon as time and inspiration will allow.

Okay. Biggest thing for this: new speaker, new paragraph. You seem to repeatedly have at least two characters talk in a paragraph. Take below as an example.

"Nice to meet you three. So your planning to become a royal guard huh?" Shining nodded. "Well, when you get there, be care fully what you do on your first day. If it's anything like the Wonderbolts, you'll get an embarrassing nickname because of what rookie mistake you made that day." Soarin said with a chuckle. "I don't mean to pry, but what are your doing here in small town like this?" With a star as big as Soarin, Shining was confused as to why he was in a small town like Ponyville.

It can get confusing. A reader would likely assume that it was Soarin who was asking the question about being in Ponyville as opposed to the one being asked.

Also, the sentence with "said" in it is usually used after the first spoken sentence or so, which ends with a comma.

"Well when you get there, be careful what you do on your first day," Soarin said. He let out a chuckle. "If it's anything like The Wonderbolts, you'll get an embarrassing nickname because of some rookie mistake you made."

Although I would put it even earlier myself:

"Well, when you get there," Soarin said, "be careful." He let out a chuckle.

7624282 You'll have to wait and see... :pinkiecrazy:

By the way, what did you think of my decision to have Spike be kidnapped? I went through couple ways I wanted Nightmare Moon to do.

I originally planned to have her kidnapped all the colts and fillies gathered in town hall, except the one's who weren't attending the ceremony, and with Spike pushing Spines out of the main entrance so she wouldn't get captured too, before I eventually settled with just Spike getting captured.

FLASH AND SCOOTALOO WOOW
Always nice to see a fellow believer in that theory.

Nice Pokemon reference there.

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