• Member Since 27th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 3rd, 2017



In the breakaway state of Unicornia, a certain somepony is in grave danger, and completely unaware. Twilight, Pinkie, Mac, and Braeburn attempt to retrieve her from a speakeasy under the ownership of the Unicornian Platinum Council, a gang/political party bent on asserting the racial superiority of the more magical tribe. Will it be a routine snatch-and-run mission, or will conflict from the past arise to put their lives in danger?

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 49 )

Um ... wow? I've never seen a fic quite like this, and I love your concept and style! Great jargon/dialogue. Inglorious Ponies?

330089 Wow, thank you! That made my day! I mean, it was an awesome day already, but your comment made it even better! As for the Inglorious Ponies question, I will quote Twilight at the end of this story: Maybe. I'm working on a three part story where Spike takes on the Canterlot mob in disguise to protect Sweetie Bell, and the characters here will have a small part in it. I'd like to explore the idea of the characters here taking on the Unicornian Enclave (cough Nazis cough) under the direction of best princess, but I'll have to get a better idea of what I would do between the action scenes first.

Well, militant flapper Pinkie may be one of my new favorite characters. Moreover, everybody hates unicornazis (the worst kind)! I would read an infinite amount of this type of story. I can only imagine what sort of Equestrian Mata Hari Rarity would be in your sexy, smoky, boozy, violent, and fabulous story.

Find some art and submit to EQD. What's the worst they could say? I love it. P.S. Best Princess?

331640 I actually grabbed a screen-shot of Pinkie walking behind Twilight at the first party she throws her and sent it in. I can't draw, and I don't feel comfortable asking somebody to use what they've already done, so I figured an appropriate screen shot would suffice.

You're right on the money with Mata Hari Rarity. I'm looking forward to the challenge of making her a genuine femme fatal while staying mostly true to her character. Also, sorry, but I'm a devotee of the night. Luna is Best Princess. Although, that landslide of Cadence fanart kind of blew my mind.

440443 If I was being that explicit in what they're supposed to resemble, then that is probably what I would call them.

Hell, this is awesome! I'm especially fond of the dialogue, too. Very colourful!

1587372 Thanks! I spent a lot of time researching the slang from the Roaring Twenties and Prohibition.

Congrats on the EqD!

That was awesome, wish it had gotten on EqD 50 weeks ago.

Congrats on getting on EqD, you definitely deserved it! On that note, is there any chance of you writing more on this world? It seems like you have it pretty well flushed out, and I'd love to see more stories of it.

Dude, that was so awesome! Will we be seeing more of this universe?

Congrats on the EQD post, even if it was nearly a year in the making. What a great story!

Very nice writing style. A shame it is so short, I was looking forward to reading more.

I'd love to see a sequel or maybe a story arc on Twi and Pinkie's shenanigans in Unicornia. Them Unicornians aren't getting away with all this... :twilightangry2:

Just one minor typo: “Twilight Sparkle!” Twixie shouted.

Sequel sequel SEQUEL!!!

Hilarious, love the style, quite clever, best fic on eqd for a while. :pinkiehappy: But this must not be a mere one-shot, no, too much amazing potential. So MOAR???:flutterrage::trollestia::moustache:

So yeah. This was just about the best thing of my day. :pinkiehappy:

One heck of a way to kick off a story! Can't wait to see where this is going to end up.

A slightly embarrassing question, if I may; how do you manage to post a link towards another web page like that? I've seen it done before but can't seem to find out how :raritydespair:

2206073>>2205929 :fluttershyouch: Ah, don't shout! I'll write more!:fluttershbad:
2205443 Thanks for pointing that out! Maybe it was my subconscious trying its hand at foreshadowing?
2205382>>2205358>>2205163 Thank you for the compliments. Yes, I will be writing more in this universe, I just have to manage an outline I like.
2205358 Thank you! It needed the year, I had some flaws as a writer that I needed to work out first. Not to say they're all gone now, lol, just that they're not quite as apparent.
2204829 Thank you!
2205163 Thanks! That would have been nice, but I've improved a lot as a writer since then and it is now a much better story.
2206161 Lol, glad to be of service!

Wow! How am I just finding this now? Oh, yeah, EqD! Congrats on that, dude! Bask in your own awesomeness for a bit. I did when I finally made it. :pinkiehappy:

I can't wait for more in this universe. Also, is that a :pinkiehappy::heart::eeyup: ship about to set sail?

Hmm... I approve!

This was actually amazing. I would be interested in more in this universe :D

2206742 Oh, you can bet I'm basking, thank you sir! And yes, that is a:pinkiehappy::heart::eeyup: ship about to set sail. I will definitely be writing more, as it is just too fun having Pinkie harass Mac. The poor guy never had a chance!

2206764 Thank you for the compliment! You can bet on more!


Oh, wait, it's "Complete."


:fluttershysad: Icanhazsequelnaoplz?

On a more coherent note, I like this concept. Wonder what role the other three girls would serve on the Inglorious Six...

I foresee Fluttershy collecting info from enemy strong points' native wildlife, rats, mice, the commander's pet cat, etc. Also, The Stare in interrogation. *shudder*

Rainbow is obviously fast strike/muscle, crammed into a nicely ignorable package, differing from Big Mac in the team's ability to conceal her. I can imagine the fit she'd have over dying that mane, but once that's achieved she's a big stick without Macky's obviously being a Big Stick. They'd probably still need an obvious Big Stick around for other things, necessitating Macintosh's continued involvement. Plus, those ninja moves demonstrated in Read It and Weep might be useful, just maybe.

Applejack I'm having a little more trouble with. Her direct, down-to-earth demeanor doesn't seem quite right for infiltration, although her strength is hard to ignore, and her honesty might be useful for sifting gathered facts from gathered fewmets.

PS I was on the fence before, but Mackypie is now OTP :eeyup:

2207396 You can most certainly have more! Honestly, though, I don't really see Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash as everyday field agents. They are all high priority individuals, but Pinkie and Twilight can pull off field work because Pinkie is Pinkie and Twilight is an over-powered, walking tactical weapon. Rainbow Dash is too hotheaded and you don't intentionally send Fluttershy into potential combat. Cannon Pinkie is probably a bit too nutty, but this is AU and I emphasize the surprisingly intelligent side we've seen a few times and add a touch of Pinkamina. While I would march on Hell itself if Applejack had my back, I wouldn't send her on a stealth mission. Put her in a noir setting, and she's the one straight cop in a corrupt city. Finally, most missions wouldn't send a member of the EoH into enemy territory. There's more than enough crime and intrigue in Pony Noire Equestria to keep Celestia's most trusted mare busy enough at home. If Applejack was involved with this in any way, it would probably be as the irreproachable face of the team. Put her on some high-priority busts, done by the book, and everything looks good. In the mean time, Twilight and Pinkie are getting things done, answering only to Celestia.

:duck: Rarity, on the other hand, is a veritable gold mine in a setting like this. In the show, she's a ladder-climbing socialite with no qualms about using her looks and charm to get what she wants. Put her in a noire story, and you've got one stunningly dangerous femme fatale who has a dragon watching her back. If I can write her character well, you can bet that you'll see that side of her. You also haven't seen the last of the Apple stallions, especially considering how fun it is to write Pinkie harassing Mac (:eeyup::heart::pinkiehappy:). I'm also looking forward to having Twilight and Trixie working together. :trixieshiftright::twilightangry2:

2206543 Thank you for the compliment, though this is a one shot. There will be more in the same vein, though! As to your question, like this: [urlx=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDb744BYarA] began to sing.x , just without the x's.

Amazing story, but may I ask why Braeburn is "caramel" colored?

2208106 Probably because I'm a quintessential guy whose command of colours is lacking, lol. I honestly would call him caramel coloured.

Really glad I got around to actually reading the story; it is better than I thought possible! Wait, that sounds bad, but yeah, it was an awesome story. Hopefully your sequels will also be listed on EqD.

2208511 Lol, no offense taken, it could have been horrible. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

MOAR!!!! :flutterrage::rainbowdetermined2:

2208878 You shall have more. This one's complete, so I'll mention the sequel in a blog post tagged with this story for those who favourited with e-mail notifications but didn't watch.

2208463 I only asked because the picture supplied for this story has an altered image of Braeburn so he actually LOOKS caramel coloured. In the show he's bright yellow.

I don't care either which way. :3 It's an amazing story! I just didn't know if the altered image meant something important. :3

The dialogue does add a nice, natural touch.

I have mixed feelings about the length of the story.

On one hand it delivers exactly what it says on the tin. It is well edited, straightforward, and to the point. The story does not dissolve away like a salt-encrusted snail while the plot meanders into interminable exposition.

On the other hand, you have set up such an unique, interesting universe (limiting the characters to Pinkie, Twilight, Mac, and Braeburn is a nice touch) that a mere 5000 words seems like like a waste of potential.

Here is to more follow-up stories in the new Nazicorn universe..

2210253 Thank you for the compliment! I understand you mixed feelings, as it is just a snap shot of what could be an interesting setting. I fully intend to write more, and I hope you read and enjoy them!

2210004 Lol, just me being bad with colours. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

"...I was easily able to identify and work around any magic detection networks set up in here, and actually managed to weave our voice dampening field right into the weave of their security system."

Oh my gosh. Twilight's a magic hacker.


2214833 Lol, I'm glad you liked that part.

I am now one of those people waiting for a sequel.

This is good.

2225592 Thank you! I''m actually writing the first chapter of a sequel right now. If you're interested in some teasers, I've got a blog post about it.

Twilight looked down her muzzle at the waiter. “Radiant Dawn. Yes, you may.”

It's like Melody Pond/River Song with the name!:twilightblush:

The things I would do for more stories in this 'verse. Have a thumbs up and a follow, I will be eagerly waiting for more.

Edit: A small amount of research and I found the sequel. Score!


could you post a link? I haven't had as much success

2345205 One Honest Mare was what I was referring to. Not precisely a sequel, but it is another story in the same setting.

Ah, ok, now I understand

That was a fun little story. Always nice to see fun antics such as these. The villains are perhaps a bit stereotypical, but given the length of the fic that isn't a major issue. Great stuff all around.

Man, this has been in my bookmarks since its Equestria Daily feature. I'm no big fan of AU or "years later" stories, but whoever introduced it on ED was right: it's a pretty fun ride. I'm relieved you haven't taken it down after all this time.

4393700 I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm not a huge fan of AU or "years later" either, but being a writer of purely pulp quality, they're pretty much the only settings that work for me.


Speaking of working for you I wonder if the last episode gave you any ideas to use to continue this story (ok I am reaching I just want more stories in this storyline especially with Pinkie and Big Mac)? I ask because those unicrons have learned a technique that steals cutie marks while leaving the original a husk. Well in season 3 we have a spell that switches cutie marks and season 4 we have a villain that can outright steal cutiemarks and your full magi potential. Either or both (or neither for that matter) of these things could be part of the puzzle to what these unicorns are using.

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