The carriage flew through the sky, pulled along by two pegasus stallions while carrying it's three passengers, a unicorn stallion and two twin dragons, with the girl laying on her back completely bored. "Alright Spike, let's go over the list Captain Star gave us again." Shining requested.
Spines, who was currently wearing a yellow shirt with a picture of a Sun with a smiley face on it, let out bored moan for the third time since leaving Canterlot. "BOOOORING!" She exclaimed to the other two's annoyance. "Now who's the one complaining?" Spike mumbled sarcastically before shaking his head and went over the list.
"Okay, first we have to check the ponies prvoiding the food for the celebration, two, we have to check to make sure the skies are clear of clouds, then we have to check on the decorations, and finally, we need to check on music bein provided." Spike listed before looking down at the very bottom of the scroll and noticed one final order.
"Hey Shining, looks lIke Star had one order for you specifically." Shining and Spines poked their heads at this. "He says he wants you to try and make some friends." A bright smile crossed Spine's face. "FINALLY! No more Shining Armor being a complete shut in!" Her loud shout went as far startling the stallions currently piloting the carriage. Shining shot her an annoyed look.
Spike looked at him incredulously. "She's not wrong you know..." He stated bluntly, earning a sharp look from they're adopted brother. "I'm not a shut in." He said calmly. Both twins snorted in response. "Says the pony who trains all day in his room-"
"-and only goes out to get groceries and/or train with his mentor" Spines finished. Shining Armor let out a huff of annoyance. "As a future member of the royal guard, I have to be completely focused on my duties and occasional breaks for my family. I just don't have time for things like friends." He stated firmly.
"Then what about Poindexter, Gaffer, and 8-bit? Aren't they your friends?" Spike pointed out. "Tha-That's different, it was high scool and the four of us just went our separate ways to lead our own lives."
"And were you just too busy with your 'duty' to take time on your relationship with Cade-" Spines was quickly interrupted by a hoof to the mouth. "Just... please don't finish that name and yes... I was too busy with trying to get into the royal guard to spend time as much time with her as I wanted too. Do I regret it? A little, but I wouldn't be where I am today. Besides at least I got my parents, Twily, my dragon brother and sister, what more could you want?
"I want a social life, but that's not gonna happen anytime soon, is it?" Spines stated bluntly. Shining only sighed in frustration at the girl dragon's bluntness. "Looks like we're here." Spike pointed as they landed in the small town of Ponyville. Shining saluted the guards as they left. "Come on Shining, making friends isn't that hard, you just got to tall to them." Spines noticed a pink pony mare with a poofy mane and three ballons for a cutie mark.
"See here comes somepony now, just say hi." Spines insisted as she and Spike pushed him toward the pony. Sighing in defeat, Shining approached the mare. "Uh... hi?" The pony suddenly gasped and sped off in the opposite direction. "Okay... maybe she was a bad example." Spike hesitantly noted. "Ah don't mind her, she's always been strange pony." An unfamiliar male voice said from above them.
Looking up, they noticed a pale blue stallion with a night blue mane that looked liked it had been blown back by air so many times, it just stuck like that and his cutie mark was a lighting bolt darting through something dark blue and wore goggles.
"Hey, aren't you Soarin of the Wonderbolts?" Shining asked as the stallion landed. "That's right. Who might you be?" Soarin asked back, holding out a hoof. Shining returned the gesture. "Shining Armor, future royal guard, and persoanl student to Captain Star Sword. And these two are my assisstants, Spike and twin sister Spines." They greeted back as well.
"Nice to meet you three. So your planning to become a royal guard huh?" Shining nodded. "Well, when you get there, be care fully what you do on your first day. If it's anything like the Wonderbolts, you'll get an embarrassing nickname because of what rookie mistake you made that day." Soarin said with a chuckle. "I don't mean to pry, but what are your doing here in small town like this?" With a star as big as Soarin, Shining was confused as to why he was in a small town like Ponyville.
"Simple, I lived here since I was a colt. While I do on occassion stay at the Wonderbolts Academy, I primarily live here in my hometown. So what's a royal guard recruit doin here?" He asked changing subjects. "Oh, I'm here to oversee the preperations for the Summer Sun Celebration as requested by Captain Star Sword, and right now we're suposed to be checking on food preperations."
Soarin nodded in understanding. "Tell you what, I know the ponies currently working on everything, so I'll take you to where you need to go, free of charge, how's that sound?" He offered.
"Well considering you probably know this town better then we do, knock yourself out." He accepted.
"Alright, since you have to check on the food, our first stop is...
"...Sweet Apple Acres! Home to the Apple family and they're famous home apples and the greatest apple pis in the universe!" Soarin yelled excitedly as they entered the farm grounds. As they walked, they noticed a mare and two stallions nearby. "There's Applejack and Big Macintosh and their cousin Braeburn. Their family is in charge of food preperation." Soarin informed as they the approached family.
Shining straightened himself and approached them. "Good day to you three, I'm royal guard recruit Shining Armor and these twords are my assisstants, Spike and his twin sister Spines an-" His introduction was interrupted by the mare shaking his hoof up and down really fast. "Well howdy there Mr. Armor! Ahm Applejack of Sweet Apple Acres and proud and hard working member of the Apple family!" Applejack finished the shake, but Shining's hoof still shook until Spike stopped.
The other two stallions approached him. "Sorry about Mah cousin, Ahm Braeburn from APPALOOOSA! But I came to live here in Ponyville to help the part of my family who live here. And the big feller here is Mah other cousin Big Macintosh or juse Big Mac." The one named Braeburn informed.
"Eeyup." Big Mac replied. "Why don't we introduce ya'll to the rest of the family?" Applejack suddenly began ringing a bell while shouting "SOUP'S ON EVERYPONY!" A swarm of ponies suddenly came stampeding toward them dragging them all toward a nearby picnic table. As every Apple family member was introduced, a giant pile of apple related treats piled the table, with a paticular amount of apple pies piled on Soarin's side of the table as he greedily began eating the pies.
"You alead met Big Mac and Braeburn, then we have me and Mac's little sis Applebloom and finally Granny Smith." She pointed to an elderly green mare sitting in a rocking chair nearby. "Up and at em Grany Smith! We got guests!" The shout caused the mare to wake up and walked over mumbling to herself. After swallowing an apple that was stuffed into his mouth, Shining managed to get his say.
"Th..thanks for the hospitality, but it seems clear that you have the food situation taken care of, so we'll be on our way." They tried to turn and leave, Applebloom's voice piped up. "Aren't ya gonna for brunch?" She said this with the biggest puppy dog eyes ever. Shining attempted look away, having fallen for the same look from Twilight many times, but just like those other times, he couldn't resist it. "Fine..."
7525871 in case your wondering, Spike isn't a member of this mane six, Rarity and Sweetie Belle's father, Magnum is.
7525871 And no, I never read that story.
7525894 I'd rather not repeat that running theme thank you, and the firest chapter is out now.
So how old is Applejack in this story? Is she now older then Twilight or will she many joking with Twilight and possibly Rarity in forming a version of the CMC? Or will some other member of the canon mane 6 be showing up?
7525879 I know he's not, he wasn't in my story either, but he still played a big role in several chapters.
7525882 Are you sure? If not, it might not hurt to at least look it to make sure you don't unintentionally copy anything from my fic (for right now you'd only need to look at the first twelve chapters. They were the original story, everything since then have been unofficial seperate series that the moderators forced me to merge back into the original).
7525976 I'm sure I've never read your story before until you mentioned it to me and I started reading it, and it was just a really crazy coincidence that I used some of the same characters you have. I did consider bringing in Thunderlane as one of my bearers, but I decided to go with Flash Sentry.
7526002 I'm trying to make her personality sound similar to Mabel from Gravity Falls, which you could from the different shirts she wears.
I'm considering putting a running joke similar to what Bonnie does with her brother Clemont in the pokemon anime.
Okay, while this definitely has potential for only the third fanfic to ever make Shining Armor the bearer of The Element of Magic, I'm noticing lots of spelling mistakes. And a good rule of thumb to keep in mind, is to always start a new paragraph whenever another character speaks, or the narrative shifts to them. Let's see where this goes.
7525970 Eh, "Friendship is Shining" has Twilight as a filly, and Applejack as a fully grown mare. It's probably something similar here (or I could be wrong).
7526022 I see, but I don't know about that running gag. But I haven't seen the anime since the end of Best Wishes, so I have no idea what you're talking about. (For the record, I haven't bothered to keep tabs on the anime since then. The latest stuff just doesn't interest me anymore. I could go into detail about why, but this isn't the place to discuss it).
It's true but Twilight won't have a major role like she did in that story.
7526034 It's similar to what Brock did whenever he met a beautiful girl, but instead, Bonnie is trying to find her brother a suitable wife, much to his embarrassment. Then of course, he drags her away with a mechanical Aipom arm.
7526002 Accusing the guy of "unintentionally" robbing your story's concept when clearly they don't show much resemblance when compared, huh? Your ego is showing, might want to tone it down a bit.
7526089 First off, I didn't write "Friendship is Shining", though I can see why you're getting it confused with the fic I wrote. Second, I was joking. I know it's just a coincidence.
Looks like it could use some proofreading.
7526139
Wasn't talking about that story, but whatever.
Okay. Biggest thing for this: new speaker, new paragraph. You seem to repeatedly have at least two characters talk in a paragraph. Take below as an example.
It can get confusing. A reader would likely assume that it was Soarin who was asking the question about being in Ponyville as opposed to the one being asked.
Also, the sentence with "said" in it is usually used after the first spoken sentence or so, which ends with a comma.
Although I would put it even earlier myself: