• Member Since 30th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Joeyjambo122


I am a very recent brony as well a fan of Spike and Shining Armor and a first time writer, so wish me luck!

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Unexplained occurrences happen every day, but if you posses the Yo-Kai Watch, you will have the amazing and rare ability to see the elusive Yo-Kai. Invisible spirit like entities, responsible for life's daily annoyances. But beware.... When a Yo-Kai enters your life, things will never be quite the same....

After he gets lost in the Everfree, Spike stumbles upon an odd capsule machine in front of an old tree and after inserting a bit, he opens the capsule that comes out of the machine. A strange ghost creature by the name of Whisper comes out and introduces Spike to the world of Yo-Kai.

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My second story! This was another idea I had going on in my head for a little while now, so I am really excited!

There are adventure elements but I can't put them in due to the slice of life tag.

Yo-Kai Watch is a copyright of Level-5.

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 104 )

Interesting premise. I'll bet 1000 bits that the brother Draggie was talking about is in fact Spike. He was an egg up until Twilight hatched him and only one dragon egg was ever mentioned being there at the time since that exact egg was the test for everypony there. The explosion had to have been the Sonic Rainboom.

6941209 Wow... you worked that out really fast. I guess I kinda have made it obvious didn't I?

6941233 A little I suppose, though with a little thinking and logic anyone should be able to figure it out provided they know how Spike was hatched. Same with the relationship NiGHTS and Reala have. Obviously twins and Nightmaren. One wishes to remain free and the other a disillusion idiot loyal to an Ideyaless visitor turned Nightmare God that would kill his own children just for failing him.

Should be interesting how Mangimutt goes since the guards don't really have authority over a dog Yokai. Nor should be stupid enough to not wonder how a prison bar disappears with him.

I guess it wouldn't hurt to see how this turns out. Keep up the good work!

Good stuff! can;t wait to see spike meeting Komasan and roughraff.

By the way guys, after in the next chapter, where I introduce Tattletell and the no sirs, (for the sake of getting the sound that plays when put the medal in wrong.) I plan to have the readers decide which Yo-Kai Spike will meet next, so I hope you look forward to that. By the way, what did you think of my decision to include recap at the end?

Well this is awesome, personal like that you made Draggie the first yokai that Spike befriends. I both love and hate that it's his brother, love the guardians spirit his your big brother thing but I just wish there was a way to revive him.

Also I think it would be cool if Spike get's inspirited by the yo-kai he's body his changed more than others, like if by Jibanyan or Blazion Spike would look like cat Bowser do to how greed effects Spike maybe Spirits could do the same? I think would ruin the whole keeping it a secret thing.

Awesome start and Draggie as Spike's brother is also awesome twist

Working on the next chapter right now so don't worry!

Almost done with the next chapter everypony, so don't worry!

I like this chapter but personally I thunk you should have made at least one of the kids a pegas. It would have been cool if Bear was like a diamond dog or Minotaur.

6984769 I would like that all the yo-kai mentioned in the author's note should be I the next chapter please

jibanyan moves in next chapter

It'd be great to put them all, but if I had to choose one, I'd pick Komasan first

I think Komasan or Kyuubi, If go with Komasun he can stay at Applejack's farm with his two brother but you go with Kyuubi you can him try woo Rarity or Katie

6999898 I was actually thinking he could try to woo Twilight instead.

Well everypony, I've officially decided to bring in Komasan for the next chapter since it's the one everypony wants to see next, so look forward to it!

Please give Kyuubi an appearance! He is one of my favorite Yokai in the game! I would like to see him in this story!
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yes please fix it and add more chapters

7012951 Well... I guess I could save my Cynake episode for the next chapter and replace it with Kyuubi, if that's alright with you?

Comment posted by Joeyjambo122 deleted Mar 10th, 2016

7014311
7014147

Sorry about that guys! I accidentally clicked the publish button and it published the chapter incomplete! I'm so so sorry! :fluttercry::raritydespair:

7015443 that would b great my friend do it

7015859 it's ok nobody/nopony is perfect so just go with the flow

I like that the other CMC know see the Yo-kai was well, are you going to ship Eddie and Bear with the original CMC and Spike as well? Especially Bear, I feel he'd be cute with any of them same with Spike.

Personally I get that your dragging it out for character development and not to surprise the reader.

My fav part is the you had Spike tag-along with the Cutie Map mission, I thought it was lame that Spike couldn't come.

draggie becomes dragon lord and mane 6 see yo-kai next chapter

7025796 I'm actually saving dragon Lord for something different in a later chapter and I'm also gonna wait a few chapters before they finally find out.

Baku and Wazzat. With Baku; Twilight might have a dream with Flash Sentry and She might freak out in forgetting knowledge she already knew.

the dancing trio and baku. and have the mane six touch the watch and r able to see the yo-kai please

7042841 Just a few more chapters and I promise they will see the Yo-Kai. I do plan to give Violet, Spike and Patch's little sister, her own Yo-Kai Watch.

Awesome chapter and also goes even more awesome when Violet join fun, I think Baku and the dancing Trio should next

7044703 I already had planned for Blazion to appear in the next chapter.

I've made my decision fellas, but I'm not gonna say who won this time in order to avoid another person begging me to put a different Yo-Kai instead, got it? :duck:

Ok first thing I noticed was that you really need to separate your dialogue sentences between characters. This will keep confusion away and add some order to your stories.

Also I noticed few "your"s throughout this story that should be "you're". Grammar is king in any kind of story for that matter. Other than that the story seems alright for being a crossover and I hope you continue to improve.

7042934 awesome do it and I can't wait keep me updated and have blazion and negatibuzz make an appearance

Grappling two of the capsule, he started to twist it open. 

Missing word.

At the base of the tree sitting on small rock, an ancient looking capsule machine with stone capsules inside stood.

The word 'stood' is unnecessary here.

If want to catch a bug then I can get you bugs." Whisper offered.

Missing word! Has anybody seen this missing word?

"Come on out little firefly's, time to light it up! 

It should be 'fireflies'. Aaaand again just below that one you misspelled fireflies again.

Not noticing Spike's struggling, Whisper said. "Your welcome!" Spike however was feeling anything but grateful.

You're welcome.

There arguing over a bent page? 

They're.

I got a bit farther, to the point where they found the dragon ghost with the crystal ball on its head. I have to say the pacing seems to be alright. Spike seems to be in character. The only real issue I see are your grammatical errors.
'Your' indicates possession, 'your wallet'.
'You're' means 'you are', 'you're welcome'.
'Their' indicates possession, 'their names'.
'They're' means 'they are'.
'There' indicates a place, 'there you are'.
'Its' indicates possession, 'in its own time'.
'It's' means 'it is'.

Aside from those errors and the odd missing or extra word, I would say you have some solid talent as a writer. This type of story isn't my forte, but I can see it doing well. I hope my comments have been helpful. Best of luck, good sir. Peace out.

Out of curiosity, when will Kyuubi appear in this story?

7073446 Do you mean after I introduced him in chapter 3?

7073446 He already has and has made Twilight his next conquest in a manner of speaking so he can rise in rank. Like with Katie, he's not having much luck yet.

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