Check and Checkmate
The Knight’s Gambit
The board had been set on the balcony of Canterlot Castle, as it normally was. Celestia found that chess was best played in the open air, where one could enjoy a scenic view of the most beautiful city in all Equestria. And when the cool breeze of dusk or the warm winds of dawn blew in, Celestia could consider the experience complete. The little touches like those mattered sometimes, almost as much as the games themselves.
It was evening in Canterlot; that strange twilight time when both day and night mixed together as equals. The blue in the sky was deepening fast and the first stars were shining through the sun’s fading light. The pale orange glow of the day was still present, just bright enough for a pony to see by, but it would go out in short order. Soon enough now the sun would set, the moon would rise, and night would fall.
Soon. But not yet.
Celestia stifled a yawn as she positioned her pieces. She was tired, and rightly so, but she knew she could fight it for just a bit longer. Time spent with Luna was far more important than time spent asleep, especially now. “White moves first,” she said, rubbing her eyes. “Unless you’d like me to be Black this time...?”
Luna waited until she had finished placing her last pawn on the board to respond. “I am Black,” she said. “Always.”
“You don’t have to be, if you don’t want—”
“Always.”
“Suit yourself.” Celestia shrugged. The issue wasn’t worth a full-blown argument. “One of these days, though,” she teased, “you’ll want to go first.”
“One of these nights,” Luna corrected her. “And no, I will not.” She dropped her gaze to the black queen, and adjusted its position within its square.
Celestia sighed, disappointed. All she really wanted was to have her little sister back. She wanted the Luna she used to know, not this stranger sitting across from her. This Luna-but-muffled. Restrained. As distant and icy as the moon itself. She’d thought that a good, friendly game would help to bring that old Luna back, but—
“Please, Sister,” said Luna, interrupting the flow of Celestia’s thoughts. “Continue.”
Well, what else could she do?
“I believe it’s my move, then.” Celestia’s horn glowed and a tiny white pawn was lifted up from the board. It floated two squares forward and landed on its new home with the satisfying clack of marble against marble. “Now it’s yours.”
The game was on.
Luna’s horn glowed in turn and a black pawn moved to meet the white. “Such an odd pastime, chess,” she mused. “A thousand years, and still it hath yet to change.”
“It’s funny how that works, isn’t it?” Celestia said, flashing her sister a weary smile. She had, in fact, suggested chess specifically because it hadn’t changed since Luna’s imprisonment. “Everything else can come and go, but it’s chess—of all things—that’s eternal.”
Silence. Deep and heavy silence. She looked into Luna’s eyes and saw only an expectant stare, glassy and dull. Make thy move.
“A thousand years,” said Celestia, and it hit her exactly how long it had been since she’d been forced to banish her sister. “So much can change in a thousand years.”
She pushed a pawn within range of Luna’s own, daring her to take the bait.
But Luna did not bite. “I suppose so,” she said, her voice as cold and impassive as her own marble chess pieces. She avoided the offering and instead marched a pawn up to guard its brother. “Thou art correct, as is usual, Sister.”
Celestia sighed again. It had been worth a try, at any rate.
A few more moves were made without words. A knight, a pawn, a queen... Pieces preparing for the battle to come, their shadows lengthening on the board as the sun continued its long descent. That wonderful cool dusk breeze blew by, but it didn’t feel quite as fulfilling as Celestia had imagined it would.
A guard peeked his head out onto the balcony. “Twenty minutes to moonrise, Your Majesty.”
Luna coughed.
“I—Your—Your Majesties, I meant,” stammered the guard, his eyes widening. “It’s my fault. I’m sorry. Please, forgive me!”
“It’s fine, really,” said Celestia, and the guard seemed somewhat reassured. She turned to Luna and explained: “He’s new.”
“Thou art pardoned for thy transgression,” Luna shouted. “But leave us to our merriment!”
And quick as a bolt, the guard disappeared.
“You didn’t have to do that,” said Celestia. “I keep telling you, the ponies of today aren’t used to the Royal Canterlot Voice.” She toppled Luna’s black pawn and advanced a white to replace it in the now-empty square. “They prefer kinder, gentler princesses now.”
“They prefer you,” Luna grumbled. She captured the white pawn and made the move an even trade. Again, the square was occupied by a black pawn. “They are determined to despise me regardless...” Her face fell. “As well they should, I suppose.”
And there it was: the heart of the problem. Poor little Luna, the younger princess; no longer the Nightmare Moon of old, but still living in the shadow of her past misdeeds, and starving for her subjects’ adoration because of it.
“I’m sure it’s nothing so serious as that,” said Celestia, trying her best to sound wise without yawning. “They’re just not sure how to approach you yet. Give them time, treat them well. Try. That’s all they need.”
“I see no point where I see no hope,” said Luna. Her features softened as she looked up at the sky and, for a brief moment, Celestia could see something of the sister she’d once known. “It is impossible, I should think. I have done too much wrong by them.”
“You only have to put forth the effort,” said Celestia. “That’s all anypony could ever ask of you.”
Luna’s expression hardened once more, any hint of the emotion Celestia had seen quickly sinking beneath her lifeless smile. “It is thy move, Sister. Make it quickly.”
Celestia allowed the subject to drop and quietly jumped a knight over her line of pawns. It was always important, when playing chess, to know the right time to press forward and the right time to fall back. She watched as Luna moved up a bishop, then casually pushed another pawn into danger.
“I grow weary of thy constant sacrifices, Sister,” said Luna. She sent one of her pawns to take the offending piece and frowned as it was captured by Celestia’s knight. “What advantage dost thou intend to gain by them?”
“It’s called simplification,” said Celestia. “Giving up pieces in order to achieve a better game-state. It’s a relatively new concept, only about two hundred years old.”
Luna, for her part, did not seem impressed. “A foolish strategy and a waste of thine efforts,” she said. Her knight knocked Celestia’s over and reclaimed the square. “One cannot win chess by losing their pieces.”
“Losing the battles to win the war. You’d be surprised.” Celestia gave her sister a knowing wink and took the knight with her queen. Another even trade. “That would be check, by the way.”
Luna’s eyes narrowed at her. “I can see that quite plainly, thank you.” Grudgingly, she moved her queen to defend her exposed king.
Celestia only smirked and sacrificed her own queen to take it. “I’ll admit,” she said, chuckling at the sight of Luna’s frustrated scowls, “it’s not a perfect theory, but it does make for some interesting games.”
“Pointless.” Luna harrumphed. “Thou art no closer to winning than before.”
“It’s not always about taking pieces,” said Celestia sleepily. Her exhaustion was starting to haunt her again. “Nor is it always about winning. We play games simply because we enjoy them.” The board made another ringing clack as a white bishop sallied forth. “At least, I think we do. Don’t we?”
“Winning is the amusement.”
“Among many, many other things.” Finally she could hold it in no more, and she let out a mighty yawn, long and loud. “Oh, goodness, excuse me,” she said. “I’m a bit tired.”
“If thou art so fatigued,” Luna suggested coolly, “Perhaps thou shouldst consider retiring, in favor of thy bed.”
“No, no,” said Celestia. “There’s some time—” Another yawn. Not as monstrous as the first, but powerful in its own right. “—some time left.” She gestured outward at the sun, which was still only halfway over the horizon. “Keep playing.”
The game continued on in the quiet of the gathering dusk. Black and white pieces shifted around the board arranging themselves in formations as they were directed. Occasionally, Celestia would take a black piece and Luna would capture the equivalent in white the next turn. Not that Celestia minded. Without so much as a care, she sold a knight off for a bishop and bartered pawns for more pawns, ignoring Luna’s glares as she did so.
All in the interest of simplification, of course. Every piece taken and every piece lost was part of a much bigger plan. Despite her drooping eyelids and aching head, Celestia was able to muster the energy for a genuine grin. Maybe she was enjoying this game more than she had expected.
“You know,” she said, taking Luna’s last knight with her bishop, “I think it’s good that we’re playing games with each other like this. It’s something we didn’t do often enough. In the old days, I mean.”
“Indeed,” agreed Luna, her voice strained. She claimed the capturing bishop with a pawn. “We did not often play games back then.”
“Or, maybe we did,” said Celestia thoughtfully. “Just... for higher stakes.”
“Indeed.”
In the city below and the sky above, lights were beginning to flicker. The sun had all but set by then, and the world was preparing for night. All the stars and lamps and little wax candles in Equestria were being lit now, bits of brightness to substitute for the failing sun.
And even though it would never come close to replacing the sun altogether, it still made for a glorious sight. Not a match for the day in sheer radiance, but surely a rival for beauty. Hundreds and hundreds of gleaming sparks burned in the distance, waiting only for the arrival of the soft golden moon. That was the sad truth of things, Celestia realized: most ponies simply didn’t see how majestic the night truly was.
If only, if only they could.
Suddenly, she heard a great crack and her attention was pulled back to the game. “I do not understand!” Luna burst out. “For what purpose dost thou make these meaningless exchanges? To what goal, what reason, what end?” She slammed her hoof down on the board and that same awful crack rang out again. Chess pieces rattled and fell to the floor. “Why?”
Celestia did not try to stop Luna, but she did light her horn; knitting the damaged board back to wholeness and floating the pieces back to their proper squares. “Temper, Luna,” she said softly. “It’s only a game.”
“I—” Luna’s eyes widened as she saw the cracks she had made in the board close up. “I... am calm. I am in control. It is but a game.” She took a deep breath and steadied herself. “I am calm. I am in control. It is but a game.”
“That’s it,” said Celestia soothingly. She raised a hoof and lightly brushed Luna’s starry mane. “Breathe in, breathe out. Everything’s going to be okay.”
She’d known that it would be a risk, drawing Luna out from her shell like that, but Celestia had done it anyway, goading her with sacrifices and senselessly aggressive plays. Somewhere in there was her real little sister. The Luna she knew and loved. The Luna she had waited a thousand years to see again. She would do anything to see that Luna again.
But also in there, lurking in the depths, was the root of the hatred, doubt, and envy that had led to her banishment. That desperate desire for attention. The Elements of Harmony had weakened it, to be sure, but it was still very much alive inside Luna, always ready to take hold and spread like a fungus. She was just as lonely as she had been before becoming Nightmare Moon, after all. If anything, it was worse. She was no longer merely ignored by her subjects. She was feared.
It was no wonder why Luna had shut herself away. She wasn’t yet sure how to fight her own demons.
Someday, Celestia hoped, she’d know how to save Luna from herself. How to navigate through the darkness and save the little sister suffocating inside it... Someday. In the meantime, though, she could only ask Luna to forgive her for what she was doing.
“If you want to stop playing,” she offered, removing her hoof from Luna’s mane, “I’ll understand.”
“No,” said Luna firmly. She took one last breath and shook her head. The quiet, tame Luna had resurfaced. “I am in control. We shall continue.”
“I won’t mind,” said Celestia, yawning. “Honestly. There’s not much left for the game anyway, and I’m sure you’re almost due for the moonrise.”
“Continue.”
“If you insist...”
As Celestia had said, there really wasn’t all that much left to play out. One by one, the rooks on both sides were taken, leaving only a bishop and a hoof-full of pawns for both black and white. Then the bishops, too, were sacrificed, in last-ditch efforts to prevent the pawns from being crowned as queens.
“And now,” said Luna, “the game is finished.”
There were only four pieces left on the board: the two kings, and a pawn on each side. Luna’s pawn was much closer to the other end of the board.
“It does look that way, doesn’t it?” Celestia admitted.
“Doth thou wish to forfeit?”
“That,” said Celestia, “is something else entirely.” She pushed her pawn forward a square. “Your move.”
The game, in all honesty, was over. The only thing she could achieve by continuing to play was a forestalling of the inevitable. But that wasn’t important, all said. There were still a few things left she could do, outside the game itself. Every gambit she’d tried had failed her thus far, both on and off the board, but that wasn’t to say she was altogether without options.
No experienced chess player ever left themselves without options.
“Check,” declared Luna as her pawn reached Celestia’s side of the board. The piece was removed and replaced with a tall black queen. “I have won.”
“Odd,” said Celestia, pushing her king out of harm’s way. “I’d have figured that I’d have no more moves left, if the game were already finished.”
“Soon, then.” Luna’s queen slid down the ranks until it was level with Celestia’s king. “Check.”
“I’ve noticed,” said Celestia, “that ‘soon’ often means it hasn’t yet happened.” She circled her king around her last remaining pawn. “Check is not checkmate.”
“Surely thou doth not expect to win, still?”
“No. It’s certainly my loss.”
“Why, then, doth thou persist?”
“I’d just prefer to see the game through,” said Celestia. “That’s all.”
Again, check was declared, and again, Celestia danced her king just out of reach. A stalemate of sorts, but it wouldn’t last forever. Slowly but surely, Luna’s own king was crossing the board. The noose was drawing tighter.
“Sometimes, Sister,” said Luna, as Celestia’s king retreated once more, “thou art a mystery to me.”
“That’s not such a bad thing.” Celestia laughed. “We can’t know all each others’ secrets.”
“Perhaps not.”
The black king advanced another square. White was cornered.
“And that would be the end of the game,” said Celestia, making her final move.
The last of Celestia’s pawns fell to Luna’s queen, and there was nowhere left for the white king to run. Luna gave her a placid smile. “Checkmate, Sister. As I told thee.”
So it was, and it couldn’t have been at a much better time. The daylight had vanished from sight at last and the full dark of night had settled over the land. The sun was set and night had fallen.
Time now for the moon to rise.
“Well played, Luna,” said Celestia. She stood up and stretched, just about ready to collapse then and there. “If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll be off to bed.”
She made as if to go inside, but paused at the doorway. Not for very long. Only for a few seconds at the most. Just long enough for Luna to—
“Wait, Sister!” called Luna.
There it was.
“Yes, Luna?” said Celestia, turning around and walking back towards Luna. “What is it?”
“I still do not understand. Why didst thou continue to play, even in the face of defeat?”
“Well, I told you, didn’t I? I just wanted to see things through.”
“But—”
“When you get down to it, Luna,” she said, “it’s not the end that matters. It’s how you play the game.” She leaned over and gave her sister a quick peck on the cheek. “And I’m glad we played. Good night, Luna.”
And with that, Celestia stepped inside, using her magic to shut the balcony doors securely behind her. She had no way of knowing if her gambit had worked, or if Luna would take any of her words to heart, but she felt rather good about it regardless. Though it hadn’t been the best game ever played, it had still been fun. There would be more games like it in the future, and hopefully, possibly, maybe... Luna would learn something from one of them.
If not today, then someday.
Celestia took one last look back through the glass panels of the balcony doors before she began making her way to her bedroom.
Someday soon.
For a minute or two after the game had ended, Luna stared at the board. Checkmate. The outcome had been obvious from as many as a dozen—no—two dozen moves ago. It should have been over so many turns ago, as soon Celestia had seen that it was no longer possible to win. Only her sister’s strange desire to ‘see things through’ had drawn it out so needlessly.
Still, it was checkmate. Her victory. That much, at least, was obvious.
But somehow, doubt nagged at the back of her mind. Luna could not shake the feeling that her big sister had allowed her to win.
Surely, though, that could not have been the case. Surely nopony would ever want to lose on purpose. What fool would wish for the humiliation of losing—of losing anything? Even a game so trivial as chess? Certainly not her big sister.
No. She had won. Fair and square. It was her victory.
And yet...
It wasn’t a true victory. She didn’t know how, but she had not won that game. Not in any way that actually mattered.
And yet...
She wasn’t entirely sure that she’d lost, either. That was the most perplexing part of it. The end of the game had been neither triumph nor failure. So what had it been?
What, exactly?
In an effort to purge the thought from her head, Luna looked out over the balcony, down at the city of Canterlot. From every window and every street corner, twinkling lights beamed back up at her, in defiance of the darkness. She looked closer and saw the shadows of ponies milling about on the streets. Many of her subjects would be going to sleep soon, no doubt, but it also appeared that many of them would be staying awake. Even into the night. Things certainly had changed since she’d been imprisoned. Some of them, maybe, for the better.
Briefly, Luna thought of visiting them, of descending into the city so that she might speak with the ponies who called her their Princess...
...The ponies who hated and feared her and ran at the mere sight of her.
She abandoned the idea in disgust. Silly. Stupid. They knew what she was capable of. They knew what she’d done. The terrible, terrible crimes she’d committed as the dreaded Nightmare Moon. They would never accept her. Never.
A small, simple little word came to mind. One her sister had only just spoken to her: try.
Luna turned her sights upward from the city and noticed that, though the stars were many and bright, there was not yet a moon hanging in the sky.
Try.
She was tired of hearing that. Tired of being told to fight a losing battle. Tired of struggling with forces too great for her to overcome. Hadn’t her sister just proven the folly of playing after the game was already over? Why should she even bother?
Why?
In her anger, she summoned her magic and put all her strength into raising a full moon, as brilliant and blinding as she could make it. Like a flare, the moon shot up into the sky, shining through the dark with an intensity that nearly matched the sun itself.
With a gasp, Luna slumped over on the balcony’s railing, exhausted from the effort of raising so bright a moon. Had it been worth it? Expending so much of her energy on what could only ever be a meaningless gesture? A futile show of frustration? She couldn’t say. She wasn’t sure. She didn’t even know why she had done it in the first place.
She usually did so well at keeping herself under control...
Again, her gaze fell on the city below. But this time, in the new light of the moon, Luna could see the faces of her subjects. One by one, they were stopping in the streets, their hooves pointing up at the sky and their mouths held open in awe. They had never seen anything so dazzling in the night sky before. And neither, Luna realized, had she.
A shout from the crowd. A cheer. Only just loud enough for Luna to hear from so high up on the balcony, and one clear voice rose above the cheering.
“Thank you, Princess!”
She stood there for a while, watching as her subjects slowly went back to their business. They had seen. They had noticed. Her efforts had meant something after all. It was not the same thing as accepting her, true, but... for just a moment, they had looked on her moon with joy on their faces, and that was enough for her.
She took one more look at the moon in the sky, so pure and white, and it struck her that perhaps there was still some hope left for her, however small.
Perhaps the game was not yet over.
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dis is sum gud fic
But seriously, I already made my feelings clear x) This is great. Some absolutely cracking lines, and it doesn't bludgeon you with either the character development or the metaphor. One of your best.
5/5 WUD REED AGAEN
This is as good as I expected it to be, Obs. And I expected it to be magnificent.
Well done, sir.
I love the ending especially, leaves room open for imagination...and maybe a sequel?
This... Wow.
Chess is always good metaphor bait, being an incredibly symbolic war simulator and all, but this was above and beyond. A fantastic bit of sororital dynamics and the return of hope to a heart that had forgotten it for more than a millennium. Thank you for writing this.
Submit this to EQD right now. It's fucking epic.
This is definitely well written, sure. But there's something about it... I just find it boring.
Guess this fic just wasn't for me! Good job on the writing, though!
I can do little but praise this fic effusively. It subverts futility and inverts loss, a beautiful thing for anything to do.
Yes. This: yes. Fine work.
Luna, such a strange yet important character in the show, and this fic proves just how crucial she is in the show.
Well, my good author, you have done it again.
eqd. NOW!
This deserves nothing but praise and likes. Good show!
Beautiful absolutely BEAUTIFUL granted, Luna is my favorite of the ponies (why there are no emoticon ponies of her I'll never know) so naturally I love this fic, but still it's wonderful.
Now that... Is philosphy right there. Such a talented mind of the author.
Hahaha, I've gotta read this. I'm getting a huge Homestuck vibe off the title and description, but I get that from brushing my teeth.
795170 Anything chess related alludes to Homestuck for me now, too.
I felt that the chess metaphor felt a little heavy-handed at times. But ultimately it works out - especially in the second-to-last paragraph, referencing the very beginning of the whole exchange.
Great fiction!
I think I rather liked the air of discomfort that accompanied much of this piece, something in the (albeit stated outright eventually) subtext of the game. That along with the discomfort of powerful beings seeming to lift a game to greater heights is really what made this.
Perhaps it petered out a bit towards the end (I found the shout of “Thank you, Princess!” to be a bit... on the nose), but there was a very solid core here.
Nice fic, Obs.
~Lammy
That was quite charming. I very much enjoyed it and found the interaction between the two sisters very believable. The ending was cute as well - always a plus.
Deep.
Profound.
Touching.
And yet, so typical and expected for this kind of story...
Nevertheless, a masterpiece.
This could've been better, had it not spelled out everything for the reader.
Still, a decent read. I adore chess-based metaphors.
Even as someone who's just an amateur at chess, I still cringe a bit at how weird it is to hear the phrase "in the interest of simplification" instead of "in the interest of simplifying the game". And that's such a basic concept to how to play that it's hard to imagine that it's at all new.
Maybe you know more chess history / terminology than I do? I get that there are newer, riskier gambits out there, but it didn't sound like that's what you were talking about.
But the story itself is great. The setup, playing a game, breaking the ice, the back and forth and guilt. The dialogue. It's all perfect Luna and Celestia. And it's meaningful. If I beat on the phrasing a bit much, I mean that the story sets that standard.
"most ponies simply didn’t see how majestic the night truly was"
is something that seems... odd. Most people think the night is pretty majestic. *shrug*
"Surely nopony would ever want to lose on purpose. What fool would wish for the humiliation of losing—of losing anything? " seems like spelling things out a little too much. Also, removes some subtlety from Luna's character.
"Perhaps the game was not yet over." But is the game already lost? Thinking about it for a moment, there's also the point made that even yet it's some small victory to play. There's something to that, but wouldn't the point mean that the conclusion isn't foregone, if she believes that there's hope for her? Maybe something like her not being sure there was any hope for her. "Indeed, much of her heart still doubted and knew what was to come. But still... Perhaps the game was not yet over." Not suggesting that is used, but something to that feel.
My name is GhostOfHeraclitus and I approve of this fic.
It's a lovely story. I've found the chess metaphor to be just a touch strained in places, but the central theme is interesting. Luna needs more love. And an emoticon.
It needs a sequel I should think. A game of Go?
Did you have any specific famous games in mind when creating the chess positions?
"There were only four pieces left on the board: the two kings, and a pawn on each side. Luna’s pawn was much closer to the other end of the board."
made me think of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R%C3%A9ti_endgame_study
Absolutely wonderful. The ending did give me a few chills as was expected. Luna's and Celestia's dialogue sometimes seemed a bit...off, but nonetheless realistic.
Luna obviously doesn't play chess.
Incidentally, the moral Celestia was attempting to convey might have been more clear if instead of losing she had forced a stalemate. In that way, by persevering, while she would not have won...she wouldn't have lost either. Take a look at the board positioning depicted on the wiki page. It's exactly the scenario you have in the story: king+queen vs king alone.
That would more clearly parallel the point she's trying to convey to Luna: if you give up now, you have definitely lost. If you keep trying, whether or not you succeed you can still make things better.
Beautiful story! Your characterization of Luna is interesting and well done!
Hm... it's been too long since I played chess.
I love it ! Sweet and short story, I tend to love those more and more
. Thank you !
I suppose I should comment, as a token of appreciation, but my comment is meaningless compared to the fiction you made, as it is what it is: a mere comment, but I suppose with time they will add up and return the author the effort it took them to write this, so here goes nothing: Good job.
That was fantastic!!! I almost cried at the end....well maybe not cried...but they were sweaty.
Great fic!!! Thank you for that.....I give you 5 mustaches:
you know what....have a 6th
Masterfully done.
The resolve that comes with finding hope in darkness is always special
+1 x like, + 1 x fav, + 1 x mantear.
I know next to nothing about chess, but I know a good story when I read it. Nicely done.
Not bad
Celestia sounds like a good chess player, ready to sacrifice even her most precious pieces if it might lead to her ultimate victory.
It's enough to make you worry for the Mane 6.
Well done.
I thought the "how you play the game line was a bit cringe-worthy, but it's unique in that aspect, and it isn't the ending note. I'm really interested in Luna interacting with the populace. Sure we got an episode of that in Ponyville, but wouldn't it make sense that she would start in Canterlot? Please do a follow up! This leaves me wanting to see more of your prose.
Bits and pieces I particularly liked, establishing that the chess game is a metaphor:
She pushed a pawn within range of Luna’s own, daring her to take the bait.
But Luna did not bite.
and
Celestia sighed again. It had been worth a try, at any rate.
Right before Luna sidesteps Celestia's question of her.
It was always important, when playing chess, to know the right time to press forward and the right time to fall back.
Indeed, Celestia. Indeed.
Every piece taken and every piece lost was part of a much bigger plan.
Celestia, the chess master. In all the meanings of the phrase.
“I’d just prefer to see the game through,” said Celestia. “That’s all.”
Celestia, ever hopeful, even if it's a dim, weak hope. Hanging on to the end. I admire her for this, I have to say, given all she's surely seen and lived through during her life.
I do think the ending was a bit more heavy-handed on the "telling" versus "showing" than the story that precedes it, and I too think it could perhaps have done without the "Thank you, Princess!" line. But that's a fairly minor critique. All in all, I think this is a wonderful and thoughtful story, and it has one of my now-favorite characterizations of Celestia--wise but not infallible, tricksy but deeply loving.
Other parts I liked:
“I’m sure it’s nothing so serious as that,” said Celestia, trying her best to sound wise without yawning.
It's nice seeing Celestia as fallible, as someone who struggles to keep her game face on when she's feeling sleepy. It humanizes ("humanizes") her in a way that doesn't knock her OOC.
“It’s not always about taking pieces,” said Celestia sleepily. Her exhaustion was starting to haunt her again. “Nor is it always about winning. We play games simply because we enjoy them.” The board made another ringing clack as a white bishop sallied forth. “At least, I think we do. Don’t we?”
Oh, Celestia. That's a lovely moment. I think this might be my favorite characterization of the Sun Princess.
“I—” Luna’s eyes widened as she saw the cracks she had made in the board close up. “I... am calm. I am in control. It is but a game.” She took a deep breath and steadied herself. “I am calm. I am in control. It is but a game.”
And now I am having Feels for Luna. This is a short but insightful glimpse into the current state of Luna's mind as well as Luna's relationship with Celestia.
Interesting concept
As someone who enjoys both chess and pony fiction, I found this story to be a very agreeable blend of the two. The way the game and life intertwined was hardly subtle, but I found it less anvilicious than most chess-themed stories, and I really like the interpretation of Luna.
I have to say though, considering how fluid the rules of chess have historically been (I believe the most recent rule change was in the 70's, though that was just to eliminate the possibility of castling forward by underpromoting the king's pawn to a rook), I found it an odd candidate for the game that "hadn’t changed since Luna’s imprisonment." Checkers or Parcheesi, maybe?
This is so incredible written!
Celestia moved her knight, "Knight to E7."
Luna sighed, "You sank my battleship..."
Celestia blinked, "Luna, the rules of chess have changed a bit in a thousand years."
trolololo
Rather enjoyable, though I did read it a bit later than most. Still loved it though, Obs.
Ah, chess. The game of the wise, that seems almost designed to give writers and movie directors a background for a serious conversation. Because, let's face it, the story would lose nearly all of its appeal if the conversation happened while sharing a sisterly bath, or during a visit to the spa, or while going shopping.
What I'm trying to say is it was a great read!
I'd say your quickly earning a spot as one of my favorite authors on this site. Keep up the good work
If they had played Monopoly, if would have been the Moon Crisis all over again.
This is probably my favorite of the three stories. There's just something about chess, you know? It was sort of jarring to me to see Luna this bitter, frustrated and unhappy--but you really sold the character to me. Your grasp of character voice is a-maz-ing.
That being said, there were a couple of moments where she felt "off", not because she was out of character but because of lack of context. Firstly, Luna "grows tired of Celestia's constant sacrifices" despite the fact that Celestia has only lost two pieces in the text and Luna has lost one. All of the pieces in question are pawns, with the piece in comment being a knight. You have also indicated that the bishops are out and the queen is too, so obviously we are well into the game and while Celestia has indeed put a piece up for bait maybe once more. There is really no signal to the reader that Celestia is playing it particularly loose this game. Looking at it it by numbers, yes it is reasonable to say that this may be more sacrifices than Luna is used to, but the audience does not feel it. This applies double to Luna's escalated outburst later--you mention a few more exchanges but they're compressed and stacked up. It would seem more motivated if we got a bit more play-by-play of this section of the story. Luna at this point is quite obviously throwing a tantrum--And that's fine, because this chess game has become everything she doesn't understand about her life--but you want us to sympathize with Luna here, so you should make it as clear as possible how meaningless this all is to her.
Which brings me to my other point, Celestia is being a saint here. Like, not even that she's generally positive and supportive and stuff--even though we are inside her head she is literally nothing but supportive and calm and caring the ENTIRE FIC. (Okay there was a line or two of wistful regret, but you know what I mean.) It didn't feel very realistic to me. I really wanted to stir up the mud (I'm making a lot of geology metaphors today.) and give her a less serene side. Like, I don't mean make her mad at Luna or anything, just... frustrated.
I'm trying to get at of this thing where, maybe you've felt it before, you're talking to some one who you think is really talented or awesome or a really nice person and all they can do is bash themselves. Like, the whole time you're talking they're nothing but self deprecation and slowly you realize that they mean it. That they are giving up on themselves. And you try to tell them that they're wrong that they've just had bad luck and that they need to keep at it because they're wonderful and you know, you just know that they're going to succeed if they just keep at it. And they brush you off. It makes you really frustrated because they just can't see themselves clearly and you want to show them but you can't. It's just one-hundred-percent frustrating, but with love--frustraffection if you will. I feel like Celestia could have really used some Frustraffection in this story to come off as a little less one-note. Because even though this story is mostly about Luna, Celestia is our view point character for most of it, and so it is her story too.
Sorry if I rambled on a bit long there... I really REALLY liked this story and I like talking about it and I guess I just wanted it to be perfect, you know? This probably has the best sibling dynamic of the three I read. (Mare at the End of Forever, Love, in All its Forms and This) And, excepting the comments on Celestia above, exactly the sort of thing I'd like to see more of.
Liked and Fav'd.
Half way through I was thinking of writing that this was fantastic.
But now, with the rain, I'm going to say that it was beautiful.
I always found chess to be a fun game.
A game that makes you actually think.
And you went and tied a therapy session into it. With, I might add, considerable ease.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Very nice characterisation here, as well as a chess metaphor that doesn't make my stomach turn. Really good!
Very sweet