• Member Since 15th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 19th, 2017

Obselescence


[center]Bye guys[/center]

E
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The depths of Luna's loneliness drive her to create a creature that never should have been. But the nature of her companion, and the dark methods used to create it, may lead Celestia to commit an unforgivable deed of her own...

Written for World-Building Alliance's January Writing Contest. Credit, as always, to NorsePony, for his wonderful editing work.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 144 )

This...

...is delicious.

I hate you, Celestia!

Wow...this is like...so deep, there are just to many emotions right now :fluttercry:

This is a great piece of writing, good on you sir

I see you used a contest entry from the "Shapeless Sun" comic contest as your story photo. Did you ask permission before using it? I ran that contest, so I know what I'm talking about.

2045568

I am sorry to say I did not, but the entry is sourced. :(

Are pleas for forgiveness and/or permission acceptable?

This is a story I could easily see being true. It fits together terribly well, and if you think about it, it isn't out of character for either alicorn. I wonder though; was Antumbra Chrysalis? Or the antecedent of the Changeling race?

2045606 It is alright, I was not the one who made it, but it was part of my contest and I feel it right to contact her about it being used. You can find her here: http://o0vinylscratch0o.deviantart.com/

Very good story so far though. I will definitely be reading it. :pinkiesmile:

This strikes me as exactly the sort of thing the immediately pre-exile Luna would have done in her mad quest for recognition and companionship. Compounded, of course, by Celestia's guilt preventing her from doing the right things for her sister. Fascinating origin story for Chrysalis' race! Better than my own dog and pony show.

One thing I wasn't clear about: assuming this story takes place pre-exile, was "Antumbra" Luna's name for an ageless Chrysalis, who then bided her time and waited for revenge for over a thousand years? If so, that partially explains Luna's absence during the changeling invasion - she'd have been fighting her own "daughter". If not, then was Antumbra instead the progenitor of the changeling race, and thereby an ancestor of Chrysalis?

i see that this is marked complete...
I find that to be highly objectionable, as this clearly deserves MOAR :moustache::flutterrage:

so there :derpytongue2:

*sigh* People all too often forget brining life into the world is a delicate thing. The shape of such life so often warps the fact that we are only looking at another baby of a sort.

Congratulations, good work. :twilightsmile:

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

Tracking this in hope that you will continue to write this story. :twilightsmile:
i REALLY enjoy it!

So.... many.... feels..... ugh.....

wow, an interesting take on the root cause of Luna's fall. Kudos, you've earned this shiny star and a thumb :twilightsmile: Also, all my silly jealousy over making the feature box :rainbowwild: (just kidding, though I shall stalk you late at night and scrawl silly messages on your lawn :pinkiecrazy:)

This is quiet a nice wiev on the situation, weakened by Antumbras feeding an evil spirit can easily take hold of her heh.


One can dislike Celestia for what she did but she probably saves Lunas life, and at least she did not kill her "child" even if it was an abomination. Not her fault but she still was one, feeding of the life of others and being created. Celestia was right when she said that it is dangerous to play with life.

70 likes and no dislikes?
Impressive.

(Joke) Alt. Title: World Builders Present - It's So Deep!: Celestia Does Something She Might Possibly, Maybe Regret
Hery, look, a story that involves Changelings that has nothing to with revenge. That's ne- Oh, wait, it's featured. Nevermind!
Also, thanks Twidity for giving me the joke idea!

Two origin stories for the price of one! Awesome.

2046443
It says complete...

Considering how Celestia acted in the past, it is simple she learned a lot in 1000 years after she banished her sister to the moon

" I have destroyed nations for less "
Ah the young's, so much vigour, so much power, ready to build and destroy nations for smallest of reasons.

Very good. I never would have thought of connecting changelings and Luna. Fascinating...

That was an amazing story! O3O
I am extremely impressed that it could have so many likes and not a single dislike! (That was part of the reason I decided to read it; I figured if it had that, it had to be good! :twilightsmile:) and it was so exceptionally well-written, too!

I felt so sorry for Antumbra, though. She didn't realize she was hurting her mother; she only wanted to be loved. I believe Celestia could have prevented Luna from becoming sick if only she had allowed Antumbra to get to know everypony in the kingdom, and even loved her herself, because if she were getting her love from more varied sources, she would have been draining Luna so much, and that would have given her time to regain her strength between Antumbra's feedings. (just my theory; correct me if I'm wrong)

I give this story a perfect 10, five stars, and two hooves waaayy up!

:pinkiegasp: Maybe that's why Luna wasn't there, and was unaffected by the attack on the royal canter lot wedding! ... Maybe that can be used as a sequel or something :pinkiehappy:

Antumbra is Chrysalis! I guess... If not Chrysalis Is Antumbras daughter.

2048092
Yes!
Sequel want!


But yeah, this is a pretty neat take on both Nightmare moons and Chrysalis' backstories. I wouldn't mind seeing this taken further.

At least Celestia didn't kill Antumbra like I would have...

So thats why Luna wasn't near to help fight the changelings.

I feel sad now, is there any chance of an epilogue?

This strikes me as exactly the sort of thing the immediately pre-exile Luna would have done in her mad quest for recognition and companionship. Compounded, of course, by Celestia's guilt preventing her from doing the right things for her sister. Fascinating origin story for Chrysalis' race! Better than my own dog and pony show.

Exactly my thoughts

2045651

Probably the sequal would have Antumbra Traveling the Wastes and Eventually Build a nation.... but how?

Probably Antumbra will eventually grow up and have kids but not with another pony. And Maybe one of the kids are named Chrysalis

I love how you wove together both the changelings' and Nightmare Moon's origins stories, with a love-starved Luna (or, at least, a Luna who believes herself to be love-starved) creating a being who requires her love and devotion. All three of the main players are rather dark cutthroat, and yet all remain sympathetic throughout.

All I ever wanted was love. Is that so wrong Aunt Celestia?

Obselescence, when you called it world-building, you didn't say you were gonna fill in every goddamn hole in the plot. That's hyperbole, of course, but this was terribly well thought out and explains a slew of plot holes.

So, thanks for that.

Well, nice to see some originality around here! Especially in a Changeling fic!

This needs a sequel. Maybe one set in the modern day with Luna meeting her great-great-great-great-(ad nauseum)-granddaughter and learning what happened to them. Might make for an interesting discussion between Luna and Celestia after learning that what Celestia did almost came back to bite her in the ass in a big way.

So... Did Chrysalis intentionally pick a time when Luna would be gone or did was Luna paralyzed somewhere by her emotions after she realized the threat was changelings during the invasion?

It fits something Luna would do on the road to becoming Nightmare Moon and the fact the backlash from this event probably accelerated her fall is somehow fitting. Celestia must have been so amazed to see one of her sister's creations surpass her in their magical duel.

I'm sure lots of people have said this calls for a sequel. And it does. But not an immediate sequel. Rather, I'd love to see the reactions of Celestia and Luna after the events of "A Canterlot Wedding" with this as the back story of the changeling race.

If Celestia had let Antumbra out more, even if she was watched, she could have found others to feed from and lessened the strain on Luna. And then maybe a whole lot of thing's that happened later wouldn't have. Hindsight is everything isn't it? Nice take on the changelings origin.

A changeling fic not about redemption, becoming one, or clop :pinkiegasp:
Bucking awesome :rainbowdetermined2:

I find it a bit hard to imagine Celestia actively wanting to kill something. Maybe, it's just me but to me it seems OOC.

10/10 Originality
7/10 Characterization
10/10 Emotion

:heart:

Please continue this.:fluttershysad: It's amazing.:pinkiehappy:

2050605 I doubt she was trying to disable Chrysalis. Threaten her ponies and pay the price.

Please continue the story :applecry: It's too wonderful to end like this :heart:

2045651
Or she simply refused to fight them at all. It would be like killing her grandchildren.

Take as long as you need to, but I think a continuation, even if it's just one chapter after a time-skip, would be wonderful. Great work.

My feels have been used as a punching bag...

...again

Purple prose is purple. Not my favorite of your work, Obs. Should be subtler, imnsho.

Oh my... The feels... So many feels...

Alright.... I'm feeling a bit more composed now. Anyway, fantastic fic. This would explain why Luna wasn't interfering when Chrysalis came along either.

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