• Member Since 16th May, 2012
  • offline last seen October 3rd

Loyal


Just a dude. Writes horsewords... with varying regularity.


T

Berry Punch is an alcoholic. No question about it. The magenta mare loves her alcohol and can almost always be found at the bar. But when an old friend gets a job at her favorite dive, her feelings are amplified more and more with each drink. Will her old friend remember her? Or has Raindrop's memory been just as clouded by the drink as Berry Punch's?
Written as a request for ImJustAnotherBrony
Teen for alcohol, some suggestive themes. Like a smokin' hot kiss.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 57 )

Very good, i think I caught 1 spelling error, you typed "know instead of "now. But really the story was very well written and I felt the emotions from Berry.
I give you a thumbs up and a rating of 7.5 out of 10. I will recommended this one.

Pritty good, now i dont read clop fics but from time to time read stories like this, keep up the great work!

I really like this. I love how you're playing with background characters.
You’re doing really well with the characters. They’re very believable.
Nice use of syllepsis, by the way.

Wow, excellent job there. This was an amazing build up, and I was sad to see it end so soon. I can see soooo much happening with this fic, so much potential drama and excitement. Carrot Top realizing feelings for Berry, trying to sabotage her friend's new relationship and so on. Berry and Raindrops' relationship has so mane levels of depth that could be potentially explored. These things I'm pointing out here are far from criticisms, but rather a testament to how well you've developed this short little story. Just know my expectations were greatly exceeded, and I did have high hopes.

There were very few errors. Other than some paragraph spacing issues and a few random typos, there wasn't anything wrong with the writing. Errors happen, and I easily read over them as no to allow them to take away from the flow of the story, which flowed very well I might add.

You're an excellent author and I thank you for this job well done. I appreciate you taking the time to write this, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The first kiss was flawlessly described in perfect detail. I easily pictured it and it was definitely the climax of this fic. A couple parts made me laugh, and the romance was hnnng inducing.

One issue I had was that you used "Rain Drop" instead of "Raindrops". Very minor, and it didn't take away from the story, just a little irking at worst.

All in all, I loved this and will recommend it to fellow readers.

9/10 :raritywink:

So I come here, despite the fact that this is a Mare/Mare ship, since I know how good of a writer you are as I really enjoyed "A Different Kind of Love." Thing is, I didn't think I would enjoy it as much as I did. It could be because this is brief and covers the whole situation of Raindrop and BP's relationship in one chapter, or because it kept me enthralled, slightly forgetting what this story was actually about. It doesn't really matter; all that's important is that you made a captivating story that would attract anyone's attention, and with little to no grammar errors.

I give a toast to this story, and to you, LG.
Cheers.

i only read this course of the shipping i never heard of before. i gotta say im a fan now :pinkiehappy: mighty fine story here :ajsmug:

these two need to be reckonized in the fandom more!
also Raindrops needs her own tag on this site! the maybe we would see more of her!

great fic!

I REQUEST that you make this a longfic or at least a clopfic side story. If not, that's okay. I still loved it. :heart:

795165
Seems like I'm getting a lot of requests for this story to continue. I very well may write a second chapter for it. We shall see.
Meanwhile, feel free to check out my other work. Very cloppy.

I enjoyed this very much. You told a beautiful story that was both satisfying and left me wanting more. Thank you.
Please write some more of this =)

That was a brilliant piece. So glad you're deciding to go further with this idea!:derpytongue2:

Oh dear, where is this going? I must know!!!

god why is this so god damn sad ? (you should rate it as SAD to ...)
i thought after the first chapter that something like a happy end is in sign ... but noooo, somehow i can understand the disapointment of raindrop ... but not what else happend ... did Carrot Top love Berry Punch but don't want to say it, because she knows that Berry loves Raindrop ? triangle relationships - something i'm used to from manga ... but its some kind of rare here, so very good work0

in the middel i lost track of time... just like berry. i'm looking forward for the next chapter

(my most constructive critique yet. i hope you like it/ it helps you)

900881
Sad tag added! Woo!
I'm writing and shtuff!
At this time, I'm VERY friggin tired and waiting for Spore to finish downloading... Hence why I am not writing a damn thing right now. Because it will end up being utter crap.

What happened to Raindrop?! Is she still pursing Berry Punch?

905798
That'll be made clear in the next chapter, I promise.
Or maybe just clear ENOUGH to keep you reading for the conclusion after that.

yeah great chapter ! :raritywink:
just noticed some double quote issues @.@
oh and why didn't you used ctrl+f as search for the word on the page ? should work fine if you search for "Grape Juice" or "Grape Vine" with the space between.:twilightsmile:

905880
Why do ALL these awesome ideas come to me AFTER I write the chapter T-T
I'm going to SO use this hint... I totally forgot about CTRL+F...

906513
Shhhh... Not in this one. (Teen rating)
Go see my other story for that ^.^

I am loving this way too much. No wait, that's not possible, is it? In any case, Raindrops is acting like a total jerk. I want Berry to go with Carrot Top. I'm sure you can change my mind though, author. Or at least confuse me. Do your worst. :rainbowdetermined2:

Berry to sister: "my little grape"
Derpy to daughter (or sister): "my little muffin"

Food-related pet names are best pet names. :heart:

But now to comment on the cliffhanger:
Fuckityfuckshitshitdamnbitch. That is all. :trollestia:

913409
Patience, gumdrop.
I DO have other shit to write :P
Check it out. Clop, but good (Or so I'm told)

913768 Oh but sir, I am pleased to inform you I like clopfics. So I shall read your other works, and be 99.999% sure I will enjoy them.

This has given me an idea for a new drink... I'll let you know how it turns out in the morning, once my brain starts working again. >Implying that my brain works at any point in time.



On topic, chapter one (The original, one-shot) seemed to move fast in the relationship department and slow in the setup. Raindrops is a bitch, and Carrot Punch is where it's at. All this being said, I do enjoy this, and I'm waiting for more.

i was here for pushing ... hope i get rewarded with a new chapter :raritywink:

940745
Soon (Ish)
I'm focusing on a rather large 2-part chapter for AKOL:TLC, then I'll be releasing 4/5 for RWM. NO idea when the finale will be out.

yeah, i still need to read these to storys of you ... >__< but my "to read list" is just 20 stories away from the 100-storybarrier

oh is it okay to use the comment function that way or should i use your userpage next time for that ?

941103
Look at all the bucks I give.
Either way I get a notification.

Not a bad story so far. The pacing is good, and although it gets a little confused as to who's speaking at times, I'm enjoying it overall.

I did spot this:

"Really? In the Southeast vineyard? That's great news! I'll have to ask Winter if the Southwest has the same... Grape Vine, too..."

Oh, and I'm interested to see how you bring Raindrops to come across positively again, after all she's done so far.

941665
Fixed, and thank you!

Rainwater Martini:
1.5oz (1 shot) Gin
.5oz (1/3 shot) Vermouth
1oz (2/3 shot) Blue Curacao
1.5oz (1 shot) Blue Powerade.

Why Blue Powerade? dl.dropbox.com/u/21167245/berry_punch___oppp_drunk_shrug_by_darksaber64x-d47nhv1.png

Tastes fine. The Curacao and Powerade are enough to take the edge off of the spicy taste of the Gin and make the drink feel refreshing. The vermouth is probably not necessary and is probably overpowered by the other flavors, but hell, vermouth is good.

I will make sure to drink this during the next chapter.

948079
Next chapter's up. Lemme know if it's good or not. I don't normally keep liquor at home, but I might make one of these if I get the hankerin'.

Great chapter – looks like the good ship Love Triangle's set sail for real now

yeah ... :raritydespair: so saaad v.v poor Berry Punch, i wonder what Lush will tell her ... or if Raindrop and Carrot Top go for him ... and try to get him lie for them >__<
in a schoolgirl manga this topic would be just funny, but with drunken ponies, i don't know, but it feels much deeper and sadder/heart touching

is it too much to ask for all three to ship? :pinkiehappy:

Either Lush or Big Mac will provide the best answers for Berry.

Do you even know how excited I was when I saw that this had updated? No, you don't want to know...

964348
Updated, then updated AGAIN! AND FINISHED!
Hope you enjoy ^.^

Okay, I really enjoyed this story. A lot more than I expected to, to be honest.

But what the hay is this about ImJustAnotherBrony leaving fimfiction? One of his last blogposts was about this story – here
Trust me as his editor when I say he's not going anywhere any time soon :rainbowwild:


Anyway, I liked this, and I look forward to seeing more writing from you :twilightsmile:

I take it you didn't get the last inbox message I sent you, or the comment on your third chapter? I haven't quite finished the fic yet, but I'm looking forward to it. :pinkiehappy:

I'll be around. If you searched for my username but couldn't find it, it's likely due to the apostrophe.

:yay: great. dunno if its good or bad that the story is over hehe, but since it's good for Berry Punch , i'm happy!

974887 I would suggest as new fan of your work of having different story for Carrot Top, maybe a couple month after this events of her truly reconciling with Berry and finding that special somepony (a stallion or mare).

I have thoroughly enjoyed this read. I love the way you've portrayed your characters. However, I feel like it ended too soon, especially for Carrot Top. I kind of want to hear more about what happened to her. So, if you ever find nothing better to do, maybe you could write another story about Carrot Top? Please?:fluttershysad:

979664
I just ran into the same problem with The Royal Equestrian Family, sadly... Too many ideas, too many fans, not enough time, and not enough motivation. I know I could very easily write a separate Carrot Top fic, about her own personal struggles, but I'm afraid I've got too much work piling up with my other stories. I feel comfortable about how the story ended, and while I may come back to it in the distant future, I doubt it'll happen anytime soon.

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