A fuzzy memory arose through the haze as Berry Punch squirmed underneath the warm covers. She smiled and nuzzled closer to the warmth pressed against her back, felt it nuzzle closer in return. This is nice, She thought. Normally, she woke from sleep feeling bleary and hung-over, or sometimes still dizzy from a late nightcap. Not so this morning. I know I drank last night, and I know it was a lot... Still, much like everything from her recent past, she found it difficult to focus on any one thing. Sighing softly, she was instead content to merely float along on a cloud of warmth and comfort, that is, until a foreleg wrapped around her from behind.
"Hmm..." She muttered, smacking dry lips. That's odd, who could possibly be holding me? The leg tightened, drawing her tighter against the furry warmth... She squirmed slightly, but was loathe to open her eyes and see who she was sleeping next to. Somepony warm, that's as much as I can tell... Rather than fight it, she tried to doze off, feeling the dark tendrils of sleep wrap around her mind once more. Sadly, a soft nuzzle into her mane kept her from slipping off completely. The hoof wrapped around her started making lazy circles on her chest, which now felt tight. There was pressure from a pair of lips, and she felt her eyes blink open slowly.
"Heyy..." She muttered, groaning softly.
"Good morning, sleepyhead." Female... That voice, it was feminine... Okay, I'm awake now! Rolling over, she looked straight into the eyes of none other than Raindrops, the new bartender from her favorite watering hole. She fought a throaty groan, but couldn't win.
"Did... Did we...?" Raindrops' face furrowed into a slight frown.
"You... Don't remember?"
"Just... Just tell me, did we b-"
"No." Raindrops sat up and slipped off the bed, shaking her frumpy mane out. "No we didn't. I wonder what else you don't remember from last night..." She clomped to a nearby vanity, the pegasus started brushing her mane out, returning it to some semblance of it's graceful fall around her neck.
"I-I'm sorry..." Berry Punch whimpered, suddenly feeling very embarassed.
"What else don't you remember, hmm?" Raindrops looked at her reflection in the mirror, fighting with one stray strand of her bangs. "Or do you remember anything? Anything at all?" Berry Punch nibbled her lower lip, trying hard to remember what had transpired the night before... It was Hearts and Hooves day... She had been trying to spend some time with the bartender... Oh no, she couldn't remember anything else!
"I... I remember a kiss..." She offered weakly. Raindrops just dropped the brush on the vanity and turned to her.
"I think you should leave." She said softly. "Next time you try to be all lovey and coming on like that, you should think about being sober for it."
"Hey, I-" Those words cut her deep, but the look from Raindrops stopped her. She shut her mouth and fought back tears as she slid out of the warm bed. "I'm sorry..." She whimpered softly, leaving the room with her head hanging low. Raindrops unceremoniously shut the door behind her, leaving a very sad and very cold Berry Punch on the threshold of depression. Slowly, she made her way home, passing dark doorways and closed businesses. There was nopony else on the road... They were all probably still snuggled up close to their own somepony special, making breakfast for their families... Leaving poor, drunk, hopless Berry Punch alone to her thoughts, just like every other Hearts and Hooves day, just like every other year of her pathetic, miserable life... Why, then, did this one hurt so much more than every other one? A trail of wet drops in the dirt marked her trail back to an empty, cold home...
"Hey, Berry Punch! Fancy meeting you here!" The teasing voice of Carrot Top rang out through her pounding head. Why is my head pounding, again? Have I been drinking? She opened her eyes unevenly, noting the rather messy stand of beer bottles surrounding her spot at the kitchen table. "Jeez! Somepony's been hitting it REAL hard, huhn?" She winced at the noise, like she was getting pelted with hail.
"Shaddup..." She moaned, taking another swig. The bottle spilled a little onto her coat, and was quickly taken from her. She stared blankly at empty hooves before turning slow eyes upon Carrot Top's blurry outline. "Heyy... Giff it back..." She muttered.
"Berry, I haven't seen you in a week. Have you REALLY been drinking this entire time?" The words echoed around her head, ringing in her sensitive ears, setting her on edge. She slowly sank her head back down to the table, feeling worse and worse as the seconds passed. "Oh my Celestia... You're really not doing good, girl... Come on, let's get you to the hospital..." She felt herself slowly being lifted. The motion dreged up her stomach, the contents quickly emptying onto the table. Quickly fading, she fell into the puddle, her last sight that of Carrot Top scrambling with the phone.
She fell. Hard. Fuzzy memories came and went, and now and then, a blinding lance of white-hot pain shot through her head. Lost track of time, spent curled up and shivering in her dark delierium, Berry Punch only slowly noted the world had stopped spinning around her. Bloodshot eyes finally opening, she managed to get a blurry picture of the room around her. White... Too white... she managed to think, blinking unevenly. She raised a hoof to her face, felt a pressure, looked down and saw the needle.
"Huhn?" She followed the trail up to a bottle of clear liquid hanging on a hook above her, saw a nurse taking notes.
"You're up! Oh good, we can rule out a Diabetic Coma... Miss Punch, I'll go get the doctor..." The nurse left, slipping the clipboard into a holder at the bottom of the bed. She returned a few minutes later with a doctor in tow, his red cutie-mark in the shape of a cross. It reminded Berry Punch of blood, and she felt her stomach churn.
"Gonna..."
"Oop, here ya go." A bin was shoved under her muzzle as she dry heaved, spitting up mostly phlegm and saliva. Coughing a few times, she laid back, groaning softly. "We almost lost you, Berry Punch. You really need to learn to take it easy. You're obviously in no shape to go home, so you're going to stay here for a few more days while we monitor your insulin levels. Your liver may have been heavily damaged. When they brought you in, your BAC was .229. Almost triple what a normal drunkeness would feel like. We need to make sure you won't suffer from this." All of it just floated through her head. She groaned and rubbed her face with the leg that wasn't pricked with a needle. "And you're suffering from dehydration. We'll get some fluids in you, get you up to stretch your muscles, and get you home in a few days. Relax, Miss Punch. And thank your friends for their help."
"Friends?" She muttered.
"Miss Carrot Top and a rather charming yellow mare that didn't leave her name..."
"Blue hair?" She smacked dry lips.
"That's the one... We'll get you some ice chips. Relax, Berry. We'll take good care of you." The doctor left her then, chatting with the nurse about some medical jargon.
Raindrops...
--------------------------------
The next few days passed agonizingly slow, but she did feel better once the dry heaves stopped. The walk felt wonderful to stretch her muscles, but much to her dismay, nopony came to visit. Not even once. Once she felt strong enough to walk home from the hospital, she signed papers and was released, making it back to her dirty home. At least, she was expecting it to be dirty. Instead, the living room was free of it's usual clutter, the floors looked mopped, and even waxed... She furrowed her brow and peeked over the edge of the couch.
"Oh, Carrot Top..." She groaned, seeing her friend snoozing peacefully under a blanket. Quiet as could be, she padded into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and peered inside. Before she got to looking good, though, she stopped. The kitchen was clean, too... Sparkling, even... Blinking in disbelief, she resumed her search, and spotted a six-pack of beer still on the top shelf. Taking one and cracking it open, she took a long swig and relished the heady taste of the bitter hops.
"Hey," Carrot Top muttered from the doorway, rubbing a hoof into a tired eye. "Hey, wait, no! Berry, don't start again!" She groaned, quickly swiping the beer from Berry Punch. The magenta-coated mare watched in disbelief as the remainder of the beverage was emptied into the sink.
"What the hell, Carrot Top?!" She said, moving to grab another from the fridge. Carrot Top quickly kicked the door closed and moved between Berry and the door.
"No! No more! I'm not going to walk in here and see you like that again!" Her friend's nostrils flared as she spread her legs, getting low and balanced. She looked ready to charge. Berry lowered her own head, pawing the floor.
"Get out of the WAY, Carrot Top." She grunted. "I've been locked up for who-in-the-hoof-knows-how-long, I think I can have ONE beer." Her friend shook her head and snorted.
"One turns into three or four, turns into another hospital trip. I'm not going to lose you again, Berry." Stamping a hoof, Berry Punch grunted and left the kitchen, walking quickly to the front door. "Hey! Where are you going?!"
"To the bar!" She grunted, kicking the door closed. All my REAL friends are there...
"Berry! Stop!" Carrot Top chased after her, running to catch up. Berry Punch ignored her and kept walking. "Would you LISTEN to me?!" Just keep walking... "STOP!" Carrot Top screamed in the middle of the road. She did, suddenly aware of all the eyes turned to them. Turning around, Berry Punch fixed Carrot Top with a gaze, not speaking, just staring at her friend as she started to sob.
"When I found you last time, and they came to pick you up, you flatlined, Berry... You DIED." Tears began spilling down her muzzle, falling into the dirt road. "I watched them bring you back three times before you were stable enough to move, and that's when... When SHE showed up." She spit the word, almost like she was disgusted to say it. "Flyin' in like she was the most important thing in the world, telling them to move, to let her see you... And when she finally did, saw you laying there, passed out, she..." Carrot Top choked, swallowed her anger. "She RAN. Just RAN AWAY." Carrot Top was screaming now, and left Berry shocked, completely unable to say a word. A small crowd gathered around them, watching the spectacle play out as the sobbing earth pony cried at a statuesque, unmoving Berry Punch.
"Why don't you see it?" She choked, barely loud enough to be heard. "Why don't you see how much it's hurting you? How much it's hurting... Hurting me?"
"I don't know..." Berry Punch whispered.
"What?"
"I don't know... Why..." She felt herself start to shake, trembling from head to toe.
"But..."
"I DON'T KNOW!" She broke into a run then, running fast and hard past a crying Carrot Top, shouldering her way through the crowd, pushing her weak muscles as hard as she could. Tears streamed down her face, stinging the flesh as they cooled in the chill air, all the way back to her home. Shakily, she opened the fridge, fished out a beer, cracked the top, and took a drink. The taste assaulted her tongue, filled her with a disgusting bitterness. Heaving, she let it all back up into the sink, tears and snot mixing with the brown liquid down the drain. At some point, she felt a hoof on her back, a voice in her ear.
"Come on, let's get rid of the others." Still sobbing, a complete mess, Berry Punch let Carrot Top drain the rest of the beer and half a bottle of rum left in the cupboard, washing her guilt away with the alcohol... So why was she still shaking and crying? Why wouldn't this feeling pass? Carrot Top gave her a glass of tea, made her lunch, all of it tasted like ash and went down without a fight. She was walked to bed, tucked in, and could hardly feel the pair of forelegs wrapping around her, trying to keep her warm.
She just felt cold the entire night... Never once closing her eyes to sleep.
---------------------------------
"Berry? It's been a month, are you okay?" Carrot Top asked through the phone. Berry Punch was silent before nodding. Remembering she was on the phone, she sighed and gave a small noise in her throat.
"Yeah, I'll be fine... The crops are coming in tomorrow, and Market the day after... I'll do some work, get some bits back under my saddlebags, and I'll be fine." Carrot Top breathed a sigh of relief. She seemed to be happy her friend was back again.
"Thank goodness... Are you gonna need help?" She asked. Again, Berry Punch shook her head, scoffed at her own stupidity, and spoke.
"I should be okay... The rest of the family will be there to help out... And I'll get to see you the next day, right?"
"Yeah, I'll be there..." Carrot Top sighed and let a few moments pass. "I guess... I'll talk to you later, then?"
"Sure. See ya." They hung up, leaving Berry Punch alone in the kitchen. She looked at the shining table, at the meticulously clean floor... Seems that's all she could do these days was clean, and when she was done cleaning, clean some more... There were some bags from Carrot Top at the front door, groceries, no doubt. Berry Punch went to lift them, but felt her muscles strain at the slight load. Had... Had she lost weight? Grunting, she noted her arms and sides were a lot more slender than they used to be... She was always a fairly curvy pony, well-built but lacking definition. Just hauling the three bags with a few groceries left her winded, though... She panted in the kitchen, feeling her muscles shake. How long had it been since she had had a decent meal? Her stomach rumbled, and the sight of lettuce made her mouth water. Quick as she dared, she threw together sliced tomatoes, cucumbers, and lettuce into a salad, quickly scarfing it down.
Hunger quelled, she packed away the rest of the groceries, struggling with the milk more than she would have liked. Finished, and feeling much more tired than she ought to have, Berry Punch decided a shower and bed were in order. Doing both, she woke the next morning feeling rested and refreshed. An early call from her brother confirmed they had arrived in town and were waiting at the market for her. Throwing on a hat and her saddlebags, Berry Punch left her home and made her way to the busy market. Day before sales, all the surrounding farms came and unloaded their wares, set up stalls, and generally made ready to make some money. Berry greeted her family curtly, gave a quick hug to her little sister, and started helping.
"Oof!" She grunted, feeling the first basket almost make her buckle under it's weight.
"You doin' okay?" Her sister asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"Fine," She grunted, adjusting and carrying the basket to the stand. Not fine! Not fine! She thought, barely managing to set the basket down without spilling the grapes onto the dirt. "Haah..." Panting and sweaty already, she set her saddlebags with the stand and went back for another. And another. And another after that. Working hard, she had unloaded six baskets from the full cart on her own, while the rest of her family had already done at least ten apiece. Since she didn't live on the farm, and wasn't there to help with the harvest, she liked to put a little more effort in around this time of year. But it wasn't even lunchtime yet, and she felt tapped. Breaking for some water, her brother came over.
"Alright," He said low, casting a quick glance back at the rest of the family working hard. "Talk to me. What's wrong?" Her brother, Winter Wine, was a hard-working earth pony, much like the rest of her family was. His mark was a slightly-tilted wine glass full of a rich, red wine, and accented his white coat well. She heaved a sigh and looked at him, biting her lip softly.
"Listen, I... I think I've got a problem." He blinked once before gesturing for her to continue. "Well, about a month and a half ago, I went to the hospital... They said I had alcohol poisoning, and, well..." She leaned in a little closer, dropping her voice. "I flatlined three times..." He went rigid right away, inhaling slightly.
"By Celestia, are you okay?!" He asked, leaning in even closer. He nudged her shoulder with his, his brow drawn down in true worry. Berry shook her head, raising a shaking hoof.
"I don't think so... You know me, Wine, I'm always one to work hard, to prove my worth during Market... Six baskets and I'm tapped. Look at this..." She waved a shaking hoof in front of his face, frowning at the worry that had been plaguing her since last night with the groceries. "I feel like I've wasted away... I've lost who-knows-how-much weight and, and... I can't sleep, either..." She was starting to tear up now.
"Hey, hey, take it easy. Listen, let us handle this, okay? I think I know exactly what you need. I'll talk to mom about it- Ah, ah... Relax. I'll leave out the hospital bit." She had opened her mouth to complain, but was stopped when he put a hoof to her lips. "Go... Go talk to the commissioner about our stall, okay? I know I usually do it, but you've been here a dozen times. You should be able to handle that much. Takes a good two hours to fill out all the paperwork... Go." He swatted her flank with a warm, brotherly smile. She shot him a weak one in return, fetching her saddlebags and making her way to the commissioner's stand. Since it was their first time back since the last market, they needed to fill out the paperwork for the stand, all the tax information, and get a permit. While she busied herself with that, Winter Wine was talking with the rest of her family.
"Here you go, Miss Punch." The elderly colt handed her a ticket. "Just put that on the front of your stand, and you're good. Remember, we need a copy of your sales ledger at the end of the day tomorrow."
"Of course. Thank you." She took the ticket back to the stall and set to putting it on the front, unaware that her family had moved in behind her. When she was done and turned around, she was greeted by none other than her mother.
"H-hello, Mom..." She muttered, slightly shocked. "What's with the face?" Her mother, tapping a hoof, wore the look of a mare that had dealt with more than one juvenile in her day.
"You're coming back home." Were the first words out of her mouth. She opened her own to reply, but was silenced with nothing more than 'That Look.' "Go home, pack your things. We'll be by in the cart to pick you up at five. Apparently, you need an intervention. Winter will handle market this year. I think you need to get some hard work to toughen up that back of yours, missy." She reached out, snatched Berry's dropping chin with a hoof, lifted her eyes back up. "And next time you decide to go to the hospital... Just..." Tears welled up in her mother's eyes. She couldn't handle that look of hurt... "I'm heartbroken... You could have died, and I wouldn't have known a thing." She whimpered. "Not. One. Thing. Go. Go and pack your things, now... She let her daughter go, turning to focus on the work that still had to be done. She and Winter Wine shared a look, something along the lines of 'I had to tell her' and 'I understand' before she left to go back home. When she slipped inside, all she could do was stand against the door, stare at the floor.
"Berry?" The knock at the door came with a haunting voice she didn't expect to hear. Quickly, she whirled about, opening the door to Raindrops.
"Oh!" She cried, rushing forward and burying her face into her mane, crying her eyes out as the yellow mare rubbed her back soothingly.
"I just heard from your brother..." She said softly. "I... I wanted to come and say..."
Anything but that, please! ANYTHING but goodbye...
"To say..."
------------------------------------
"You gonna be okay, sis?" Berry Punch stood on the threshold of her childhood room, back on the vineyard in the middle of nowhere, closest only to Ponyville, and way too far away from anywhere else. She nodded softly, swallowing hard.
"Yeah. Just... Just a little nostalgic, is all..." She said softly, looking around at the well-kept belongings still in their place, picked up only to be dusted or cleaned. These were toys she had had since she was a filly...
"Okay... Dinner's in a half hour... Papa's gonna be happy to have you back." She smiled and ruffled her sister's mane playfully, sending the older filly off with a smile. Her bags were already here, leaning against the wall... Slowly, as if in a daze, she set about to unpacking them, thinking about Raindrops' last words to her.
"I just wanted to say, I'll see ya around..."