Equestrian Eeveelution.

by Symphonicdysonince

Greed's Excess Part 1

A few days had passed since Vince's party. I was taking a break from the eggs. Or rather, Conner forced away from the Daycare. 'The eggs will still be there when you get back'. His words, not mine. I was laying in my napping tree at the pond, singing what songs I could. I finished serenading Villhiem with my current tune.

His eyes remained closed as he opened his mouth. "I just had a thought on your eggs."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I don't think they'll hatch anytime soon. The ponies don't know they have to carry them around."

I snorted. "Bull. If every egg had to be carried around by trainers, how would there still be wild pokémon? There has to be some other condition."

"True. Change of topic, I'm surprised you can remember all those songs." He opened his eyes. "I mean, I know you can't carry a tune unless it's playing next to you, but that actually sounded good!"

I knocked a loose piece of bark off my branch onto him. "Fuck. You." I chuckled. "At least I don't sound like a drowning cat when I sing!" I leaned to the side to dodge the bark's return trip. "But I know what you mean. I think it has to do with a fan theory. It's called the Heartsong Theorem."

Villhiem glanced up at me in time to take the bark to the forehead. "Yer bullshitting me, aren't you?"

I shrugged. "About the name, maybe. But the way it goes is that ponies can randomly break into song and dance, and everypony will instinctively know their steps and lines, and the music will be provided by the world."

"And what does that have to do with you?"

"The only songs I can seem to remember from our old world are the fannon songs for My Little Pony."

"Fannon?"

I looked down at him. "Shit the fan base made." The bark chip smacked into my nose before bouncing out of our reach.

"So what does being upside down have to do with ponies?"

I chuckled. "We'll be filling the others in on it when we get nearer to it, but Fluttershy becomes a vampire."

"No shit?"

I lay back down. "No shit. Well, some shit. Long story short, vampire fruit bats infest the orchard, Twilight casts a spell, and Joy gets turned into a vampire fruit pony as a side affect. She gets cured of it in, like a night. Wonder how Conner's gonna take it..."

"Awww," Villhiem pouted. "I was hoping for some awesome Van Helsing shit to happen."

"Look out, everypony. Audrey's hungry." I deadpanned.

"Who's Audrey?"

I glared down at the plant-dog below me. "How could you not know who, or rather what, that was?"

"Was it a plant?" He asked.

"Yes." I huffed, laying my head down again. "I'm not telling you anything else."

"Not unless you call him Seymour."

Both Villhiem and I looked to our new companion. Yomega stumbled out of the brush. Judging by the bags under his eyes, he was up very early. If he even went to bed.

"Sup?" I asked.

Villhiem snickered. "You look like shit man. Did' ya even get to bed last night?"

"Woke up in the basement." He blinked. "One sec." He turned, and bolted for the pond. After splashing around for a bit, he came shivering back over to us. "D-didn't think i-it be t-that cold!"

"Yeah, I think the Running of the Leaves is just around the corner." I proudly sat straight. "This year, Applejack and Rainbow have a new challenge: Who's the better trainer? They're going to have Vince and Cy race me in the marathon. Applejack's training them up now."

"I know how fast you go, they wont stand a chance." Villhiem shook his head.

"No, they stand a good chance." Noting their confused looks, I elaborated. "Applejack's training them for endurance. Long distance. I'm a sprinter at best. I'll need to stay with the main group of ponies, then burst ahead near the end."

Villhiem nodded. "Wonder what your stats all look like."

"This month." Yomega had finished shivering.

"What?"

"The ponies calendar's fucked up." He explained. "Everything's the same up to weeks, but it's four weeks to a moon, twelve moons to a month, and four months to a year. Kinda puts the shows timeline into perspective."

Villhiem and I glanced at each other. "Ponies are fucking crazy." He muttered.

"So, what were you up all night doing?"

Yomega lay down beside Villhiem. "Twi's Spectro-Thaumic Scanner came in yesterday. We moved the box into the basement. I spent most of the night reading the instruction manual, and passed out in the box. Just woke up to some sort of commotion upstairs. What were you two doing?"

"Singing." Villhiem supplied as I started a new tune.

I had barely finished singing when Conner burst out of the bushes, bolting past us towards Ponyville.

"Whoa, where's the fire?" Villhiem called out as Yomega glanced towards the town.

"Spike's greed growth!" Conner yelled. "The others are heading there now!"

Oh. Oh shit that's bad! I bolted from my branch, quickly catching up with the others. "So, Yomega, what's the plan?" I asked the grey Eevee.

"Catch anything he drops, harass him into dropping things." Yomega panted.

"So, no plan then?"

Not now, Brain!

We ran through town, passing panicking ponies on our way to Sugarcube Corner. I pulled ahead in time to see Spike's head smash through the roof, a small smattering of stars exploding against his tough hide. I ran through the holes in the wall, scooped Zann up onto my back, and ran back out to join the others. Lulu led the others around the building so that we were all together.

"After him!" Yomega yelled.

"What all does he have?" Lulu shouted.

"Lots of books, apples, a bunch of knickknacks, and Fluttershy's chicken coop." Yomega replied.

I burst past the the others, terror clear in my eyes as I screeched back to them.

"HE'S GOT THE EGGS!"

Author's Note:

If the two links weren't enough of a clue, yes, I'm a fan of Aviators. In fact, I often listen to his music as I type. If you haven't checked out his YouTube channel, I strongly recommend it, it's good music.

I promise that I'm working on the next chapter, and that I will be up soon-ish. Until then, enjoy the cliffhanger, brought to you in part by: Acme. For all you myriad needs.

Comments

[CroisSunnyPlay]

"Look out, everypony. Audrey's hungry." I deadpanned.

Audrey? That wouldn't be a reference to Tasurou's story "Three More Things", would it?

[SeventhBrony]

Umm, what was that bit about the eggs being there when they get back?

[Symphonicdysonince]

8511843
You could say that. We're both referencing A Little Shop of Horrors.

[Viper Pit]

spike you done gofoed

[StratosStrike13]

I'm glad I managed to catch this. For whatever reason, some new unread chapters on fanfics I track don't get listed in the unread chapters on the site. If I didn't see it on the featured page I likely wouldn't have known it was updated for some time.

[Rafvtell]

Spike you don't want a mother on your case, even if its a fox, they can shoot beams, its dangerous.

[SolidBlackPanda]

Spike's about to find out just how strong a 1 foot tall ball of fluff really is.

[RandomPerson65]

Oh shit, Spike fucked up big time. Can't wait to see how this ends.

[Kage no Brony]

8511922

Spike's about to trigger the first ever fury-induced Sylveon.

Shouldn't have taken those eggs, reptile.

[nighters]

I wonder if spike has mistaken them as his eggs? dragon nesting as a parent would make things so much worse and complicated

[Fancy Fox]

"HE'S GOT THE EGGS!"

[Spark Plug]

Also a fan of Aviators, but more for their Sonic stuff.

[Gizmo Gear]

8512041
He's gonna get rekt.

[Adenbadens]

Everything's the same up to weeks, but it's four weeks to a moon, twelve moons to a month, and four months to a year. Kinda puts the shows timeline into perspective.

Rereading this way later, some fridge logic here:
The first line of Winter Wrap Up is “Three months of Winter coolness” which breaks down to just over a thousand days or 2.76 years in normal time.
No wonder “the food we’ve stored is running out.” I’m amazed at that stockpile!

Unless songs don’t apply to the shows “reality” and three months refers to just the twelve weeks it means for us. Crazy stuff.

[Twilight_the_spy]

Alright...

it's four weeks to a moon, twelve moons to a month, and four months to a year. Kinda puts the shows timeline into perspective.

Let's look at this for a moment...

it's four weeks to a moon

According to Google, 4 weeks is 0.921 human months...
1 moon = 0.921 human months

twelve moons to a month

0.921 * 12 = 11.052 human months...
1 "Equestrian month" = 11.052 human months.

and four months to a year

11.052 * 4 = 44.208 months...
One equestrian year = 44.208 human months, or...
One equestrian year = 3.684 human years.
(3 years, 8 months, 6 days)
Huh.

Now, if you think, Luna was on the moon for 1000 Equestrian years....
This means, according to this fic, Luna was on the moon for 3684 human years. She sat on that moon for a LOOOOOOOOONG time.

[treegrowth]

8942233
Holy crap!

[NecromanCREEEEEE]

8942233
I... First I applaud you for your math. Second how long to ponies live? Do they live longer than humans or same time?

[Midknight Defender]

"Bull. If every egg had to be carried around by trainers, how would there still be wild pokémon? There has to be some other condition."

This may predate the gen7 hot springs, but the Flame Body trick ought to at least be a clue...

[gerandakis]

Weeell shite ...

in my eyes, as I screeched back to them

Punctuation Error: Remove

[Song Shard]

Well I see no one seems to have gotten the little shop reference in the comments, The only reason I GIT IT is because I am currently in the pitband for that musical.

[JazzyWaffles]

"The ponies calendar's fucked up." He explained. "Everything's the same up to weeks, but it's four weeks to a moon, twelve moons to a month, and four months to a year. Kinda puts the shows timeline into perspective."

I'm assuming, then, that 1 month = 1 season.

[JazzyWaffles]

"HE'S GOT THE EGGS!"

OH GOD.

[JazzyWaffles]

9486460
Literally nobody saw Little Shop of Horrors from this generation, it seems. Sad.

[Black--Soul]

Shit got real Eggs are not known for there durable nature... Hope nobody get killed or like Zanny crippeld

[Black--Soul]

8512236
Literally all readers!!!

[RanBro]

[RanBro]

[chibilink]

Lulu lead the others around the building so that we were all together.

led

[Master king]

Mama Leo is about to flip.

[Vigriff]

8942233
Damn, I'm impressed she kept any semblance of sanity in such a time period.