A Canterlot Invasion: Star Fall
[Sometime prior]
[Leo]
We had split off from the rest of the group and bolted to our area. I made sure I was running just behind Lulu to avoid running ahead.
"What's the plan, Leo?" Lulu called back to me.
"Why am I in charge?" I muttered, then spoke up. "Simple, we find changelings, Zann and I blast them, you keep the fire from spreading."
"What about ponies?" Zann panted.
"They wouldn't be able to understand us anyways." I sighed. "Best we can hope for is that they run to the University. We don't know where the bugs'll be, so be- WHOA!"
We had turned a corner and plowed into a small swarm. It looked like we had interrupted them in the midst of their own planning session.
<<Found 'em...>> Zann gulped.
Lulu looked the swarm over before stomping, sending out a wave of boiling water. <<You guys remember the fire tornado you made?>>
Zann and I shared a matching grin. I fired a quick Sunny Day before tilting into an Extreme Speed as Zann inhaled. I careened around the fire type, jumping at any changeling that was too close. I think I hit one three or four times by the time Zann let out his gout of flame. I stopped targeting changelings and focused on running.
And then I skidded to a stop beside Lulu. She engulfed me as Zann sent an ember into the small pillar of fire.
It exploded.
The fire whipped up into the sky and expanded to fill the square in an instant. It quickly flickered out, leaving scorched bugs groaning all over the cobblestones. A few were on fire screaming. I cringed away from those ones.
A few of the less burnt ones fired flares into the sky.
<<We'll need to move.>> I pushed at Lulu. <<Reinforcements will be on their way.>>
Zann passed a 'ling desperately trying to put itself out. <<Let's not do that again...>> He looked a little sick. Lulu and I just made wordless noises of agreement.
We hurried down a street, noticing that the buildings were looking less and less like businesses, and more residential. A few ponies ran out onto the street, tripping trying to make a sharp corner. They got a few paces when several changelings burst from a nearby building.
Lulu spat a stream of water at the left most changelings, while Zann sent a ball of fire arcing towards the righter most. The Water Gun tracked across the 'ling's, pushing them back, and the fire ball detonated within its group.
I concentrated, trying to remember how to use Swift, but gave up and went with what I was more familiar with. I had to jump off of a pony's back to get enough air, but I started hitting bugs out of the air. I spiked a few into the ground hard enough to crack the pavement.
I dropped out of my extreme speed to see a swarm hovering over a square down a side street. Frowning, I charged up a Solar Flare as the ponies ran off. Zann and Lulu quickly dealt with the 'lings struggling near us.
"'Ann..." I got the Flareon's attention. "Ah go'a 'eed ya 'a o'er 'e."
He saw where I was aiming, then nodded. "Lulu, prepare to repel bugs!" He used his tail to point to my targets before stepping up behind me. He tilted my ears and tail up, then nudged my head a little bit up and to the side. "Fire one!" He cried out while pulling my tail down.
I spat the glowing ball down the street and began charging another one when Zann lifted my tail again.
"Fire two!" Zann levered my tail and waited for me to charge the next shot. "Fire three!"
"They know we're here, now!" Lulu warned as my first shot detonated in the midst of the swarm. The second ball detonated early when a luckless changeling intercepted it. "They're coming this way!"
"Fire four!" The third ball landed at the end of the street, knocking more changelings from the sky.
"I can't charge another by the time they get here!" I barked as Zann lifted my tail again. "Cheese it!" Zann and Lulu both launched a spread of moves to cover our retreat. I could see more of those flares being fired up from the 'lings. "I think we got their attention..." We took off running.
"This way!" Zann called out, smashing through a lower window of a nearby house. We quickly followed him, running through the abandoned home. We smashed out a back window and rolled through a garden. We bolted through the streets and alleys, often firing Sunny Days, Solar Flares, Scalds, and Searing Shots to keep the bugs busy.
And then I turned a corner and stopped cold. I vaguely heard Lulu and Zann slide to a stop beside me. I could hear my blood start to thunder in my ears. All of my ire was directed towards the changelings.
The changelings that were finishing up trapping some foals into waxen pods. My mind superimposed our eggs in the children's place. My anger boiled over.
Zann fired a Flamethrower to get the insects off of the tiny pods and Lulu and I quickly freed the children from their prisons. I growled and Glared at the things in front of us.
<<Zann. Lulu. Get the foals to safety.>> I calmly ordered. <<I'll keep them occupied.>>
<<But-!>> Zann started. I turned my head just enough for him to see one of my eyes. <<Yes'm...>> He squeaked out.
Rage has been activated.
I ignored them and darted forward, slamming a bug's face into the ground hard enough to destroy the chitin and horn. I gave a thin smile as the insect lay still. I felt a mana bolt slam me in my side-
Rage is building.
And I used the momentum to ram into another bug. I latched onto its throat and Flailed away until something gave, it weakly wailed on me as I did so. After I was flung off, I landed and charged at another bug, spitting out some carapace as its previous owner slumped to the ground, gurgling. I bulled my way through a storm of mana bolts-
Rage is building.
And I dropped into an Extreme Speed and charged a bug hard enough to shatter the chitin off of one side. It slowly fell with a cry as I ricocheted into the nearest bug. I slammed into its neck and exited my Extreme Speed just to hear the satisfying crack. I rode it down as I picked out my next target.
I was tackled off of it-
Rage is building.
As a 'ling tried to get me under control. I Bit into its leg hard enough to shear the hoof clean off, then cracked my head back to make it drop me. I launched myself up into it and forced it to the ground with my Extreme Speed. I ground its face against the sharp edges of the cobblestones, then left my move and finished earth surfing the thing that dared call itself a being.
"To the air, siblings, don't let it get close to you!" One of the things cried out in panic. The insects all took to the air, some of which firing their signal flares into the air.
<<Ye~es.>> I hissed. <<Feed me MORE!>> I jumped from the fleshy mound beneath me with a crack of breaking chitin. I latched onto another insect and used its panicked flailing to launch myself higher. I landed on the back of another bug and Bit down at the base of one wing.
"Some'ling, help me!" It cried as I pulled as hard as I could.
I ripped the wing out and dropped into an Extreme Speed. I kicked off the vermin and used its own wing to spike it towards the ground. I briefly dropped out of my move to spit the wing out, then used its frozen form to launch myself up at a higher bug.
I landed on another insect and dropped out of my attack to tear off a new platform. I was about to Bite when another vermin slammed me off of my victim.
Rage is building!
I Flailed around until it let me go after a sickening crunch. I dropped a little ways until another bug grabbed me and bit down.
Rage is building!
I slammed my tail into it and then bucked it in its throat. I grimly smiled as it started choking on air. I headbutted it and felt its grip loosen. I kicked off of it with enough force to break free from it and jump further up into the air.
I got peppered by mana bolts-
Rage is building!
But powered through to headbutt another of the flying vermin. We twisted until I was on top. I started charging a Solar Flare as I jumped higher from it and launched the ball of energy at it at point blank. I rode the shock wave even higher. I looked down to see an insect power through the pieces of my launch pad. It slammed into me-
Rage is building!
And peeled off instead of grabbing me. I started gathering all of my mana, my energy, and my anger into a ball of energy. More mana bolts cracked into me-
Rage is building!
As my upward momentum started to stall.
"Go!" I heard one of those vermin yell out. "I'll hold it off!" It flew up and rammed into me-
RAGE IS BUILDING!
And carried me even higher. "Why won't you die?!" It begged as it buffeted me with it's wings. "What kind of monster are you?!" Its tears were evaporating in the heat of my energy ball. It was as large as the two of us combined.
I rolled an eye to give it a blank glare. <<R move unlocked.>> I intoned. I tilted my head, the ball burning off the bug's wings. <<Nova Flare.>> The ball dropped past the insect, speeding up as it fell. I locked eyes with the vermin. <<Die.>>
The ball hit the ground long before we did and detonated in a massive explosion. Its shock wave and the turbulent air was enough to slow our fall so that we were merely badly bruised as opposed to breaking bones.
The insect pinned me down and fired a flare into the sky. I just lay in its grasp, panting heavily in confused exhaustion. Several of the bugs flew down and bit me.
"It's okay, Carver, let it go. We need to cocoon this, this thing!" I heard one of them say. "The Queen wants to deal with this one personally." I lost consciousness as they covered me in wax.
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So Nova Flare is like an Anti-Inferno Overdrive?
There are too many time skips that go both forward and back coupled with perspective shifts to such a numerous amount of protagonists that I genuinely have no idea what's going on anymore. This story demands too much of its readers and doesn't pay off that investment. Not only that but the infrequent and small updates only make it even harder to follow/stay invested. I think this is one I'm going to have to put on a shelf and come back to in a couple years so its easier to figure out whats happening.
10698734
That's fair. Thank you for enjoying it so far.
10698710
It sounds to me like R-moves are basically Rage + Flail + Self-Destruct + type.
10698764
If you reigned things back even slightly like reducing perspectives to only our 'main' character then the time skips wouldn't quite be so difficult but because you go both directions in time while also switching to up to 7 different characters while also having side chapters that go way far into the future that things just end up being a mess.
You've added a thousand ingredients that are good to soup and now you've just got a pot full of stuff.
I'd highly recommend that during times when you want to switch forward and backward in time that you follow a single perspective. Time travel is already confusing but tossing more than a half dozen different characters into the mix makes it downright unpleasant.
Either way its a great story that suffers only from an overreach in its goals which is the best kind of failing.
Damm this was beyond epic Leo s a boss is it jut me or is the other blast attack Leo uses is Fleur Cannon?, and noooooo😱😱😰😰😫😫😫😫!!!!!!!!
10698776
It also doesn't help that after the second chapter, we already know what happens. Eevees help people, and then get swarmed and captured. Leo's literally the only one that has any kinda difference that would actually require a second chapter specifically on him. We should have been past this event and into what happened after they were captured or even done with the entire wedding event already by this point, depending on how many chapters will be on the actual event itself.
Basically: We've already read this chapter like 6 times now, over the course of just as many weeks if not longer. Lets move on already please.
So, have the entire pack been captured by now?
"I got da sonic if you got da boom."
100%
(Like if you get that reference.)
This chapter reminds me of
And
10698927
That's what I thought for a moment too. But since nothing happened, I guess it was only 99%.
I get the pokemon type weakness logic, but given the changelings' flame-based shapeshifting, I always had the headcanon that they were particularly resistant to fire.
Interesting... so its like an Ultimate Self Destruct.
10698874
True, but it helps to see what each Pack member did before getting captured, not to mention Fire and Steel is also at the wedding, so there's two authors with two sides to tell, and both need to pace the other due to this episode being a crossover between the two.
10699155
Helps, but isn't Required. It just delays the story. As for being a Crossover, that's honestly one of the things holding this story back. Cause both Authors aren't in a set schedule, only writing when they feel like it. That makes the Crossovers the worse part, cause one Author is always waiting on the other. And since Fire and Steel literally only has 3 characters and could write out each event all in 1 much bigger chapter at once. That story is now FORCED to be on held, so what Eeveelutions will write, 6+ chapters later, very slowly, in much shorter chapters, that take a long time to post, and literally doesn't interact with Fire and Steel even.
Plus it's more of a Fire and Steel Crossover with Eeveelutions than a Crossover with each other... Fire and Steel with actually follow along with and interact with Eeveelution events. Such as the Pact meeting Luke joins before things to AWOL. But Eeveelutions ignores literally every from Fire and Steel, not even interacting with Smolder, Ember unless she is written to be next to Luke, nor Ocellus, or Garble or anyone else. Heck, Spike is more involved with Fire and Steel and his entire event over there was ignored fully in Eeveelutions.
So looking at it, it seems very heavily one sided. I feel back for Fire and Steel's Author. Also kinda pissed he stopped doing Mature versions of chapters, but that's an unrelated personal peeve
Either way, with how long it takes, he could have cut out the fat that wasn't absolutely needed for the Crossover. He easily could have had one chapter, noting how each of them were captured, maybe some minor few lines for each to describe who/what actually knocked them out without much more detail. And then a second chapter like this, focusing mostly on Leo and his new Rage mode, as it was actually a Chekov's Gun and plot related.
Would have saved so much time.
For those playing at home, Rage boosts Attack whenever you take damage. As such, those Extreme Speeds and especially Flails (as that scales the same R-moves are stated to) were hitting harder than the Solar Flares after a certain point. Upon further research, STAB can already bring Flail to an effective 300 base power; Nova Flare would have to halve enemy Defense like Selfdestruct/Explosion used to in order to avoid being less powerful than other things Leo could have done. And also be physical, because Rage built beyond the six stages that the games allow and even that would have meant quadrupled Attack.
10699223
valid points but we don't know what's actually happening behind the scenes, unless you, yourself are a close personal friend of one of the authors, and they directly told you it's not fair to assume:
Who is holding who back
Weather or not the crossovers are dependent on each other
or even the understanding between each authors' stories.
Feel free to correct me with pertinent information, because this is mostly just my opinion.
10699726
I am not a friend, nor know or interact with either Author except through reading these stories. But I do know the Crossovers are Dependent cause they both writing this event at the exact same time, and, from Fire and Steel's Author note on chapter 45:
And the next chapter's Author Note:
It's quite clear from the Author himself, he can only write/post after Eeveelution's chapters first. This is most likely since Eeveelution is the main story, and thus controls all major events in the story as a whole, and Fire and Steel is just a side story, isolated into a different section of the world 99.9% of the time, and so no major event in Fire and Steel, the side story, will ever effect or be brought up in the main story. Meanwhile Fire and Steel can't write about, say, Chrysalis, or what happens, cause it needs to happen to the Eevees first, so he knows the storyline, and then can write his version of events along time.
It's kinda like they are RPing, posting back and forth, and Chrysalis and the events with her are all Eeveelution's characters in the RP. So he must post first before Fire and Steel can post in reaction to his post.
This is how it seems to me, both from Fire and steel's words, and also the lack of Fire and Steel posting spoilers and progressing past anything Eeveelutions does.
And none of this is a bad thing on it's own. It's just in this specific situation I believe it's a bad thing, cause of how long it's taking Eeveelutions to make the chapters, how short they ultimately are, and they are filled with details we ultimately don't need and are not relevent to the story as a whole. The eevees went out to help ponies, helped and took down some bugs, and then were swarmed and captured... And I just summed it all over in ONE Sentence.
LEO SMAAASSSHHH!
Leo may be a primary protagonist, but she acted more evil than any of the villains thus far combined in this chapter alone. For someone claiming to have been such an MLP fan and trying to preserve a timeline, she seems to have completely forgotten that cocooned ponies were unharmed aside from having been scared.
All the other pack members were focused on protecting others, but Leo is going out of her way to kill and is focused on killing changelings over protecting ponies. Hell, the collateral blast from that last attack likely killed any ponies hiding nearby, too...not to mention the lethal danger to Zann or Lulu if they tried to stay nearby to help Leo.
10702916
We already knew Leo got the bulk of whatever nebulous evil entity scares the crap out of Eros every time she looks at them, this is just a more blatant version of that.
Beserker - achieved
Overkill - achieved
Terror of the swarm - achieved
Chuck Norris approved 👍
10702916
I don't know if you missed it or forgot but the reason she does this is because in her mind those foals are her children. And we all know what happens when momma gets mad.
10711771
archived or achieved?