A mysterious stallion appears and claims he is searching for a changeling and alicorn and reveals to be an alicorn with bat like wings and wishes to show the good to the bad of two of the most dangerous villains Equestria has ever known and maybe be something more with them as well. OC/Nightmare Moon/Queen Chrysalis
I found my black hole cannon, so watch your step. But it is good so far. continue.
Why do others hate this? Have I done something wrong? Please tell me what i done wrong.
6612457 I haven't read this yet but don't fret. The current rating doesn't mean jack shit. Few people have seen your story that is all.
6624491 Thanks for saying that.
Does Corvo not want his dad to know he is back?
6625192 Corvo misses his dad. He's referring to someone else. All I can say is that it involves his dad and some other being in a battle that caused some events to occur in which Corvo didn't see his dad again and that being is defeated in the result and is imprisoned somewhere in Equestria waiting for the half breed's return. All I can say is that it involves some sort of prophecy that will be difficult to type.
Beta, get the party cannons ready! We have a suprise to make.
6612457 nothing is wrong,my lord. just remember:allmystery.de/i/te398b0_Haters-Gonna-Hate-Luna-my-little-pony-fr.png
I can't wait for the next chapter!
I've read up to here and so far it's done nothing to distinguish it's self from any other OC insert fic. So I'm going to take my leave.
6684338 its actually different in the sense that he sees light in even the darkest of ponies.
So far this is a great story, but you should consider getting an editor. Here is one tip. Never put dialog between two characters in the same paragraph.
Incorrect:
Correct:
Also, your cover art really fits well.
Kinda obvious for the other two in the prophecy
6734903 Not good with certain things.
I, will give a like, because so far, this story is pretty good. Continue please.
i can see where this is going
6684338 should have stayed it was good
6612457 good job with the story
nice job
8169377 Thanks. Glad to know you enjoyed my first story.
8169348 Yeah I might come back and take a look at it Later I had Just got done reading a real 3edgy5me self insert . So it might have bleed over unjustly. I'll remove the dislike for now and add it to my read later.
Ps. It was far better than my first story. anyways so who am I to judge.
6612457
Honestly? I don't see anything wrong dude. It's a good story. The likes outweigh the dislikes.
Nice story. The ending was very sweet. This is going in my favorites.
Start something and I will kill you on site, starbutt. These are two of my favorite mares.