When Princess Luna’s spell fails, she accidentally brings a human into Equstria. Now he’s trapped in a world beyond his comprehension. Spending his daily life in the castle he gets got up in a web of intrigue and deceit.
As greed and lust for power grow, old enemies begin to stir once more; and it isn't long until the lines between friend and foe begin to blur.
Thanks to Semicolon for pre-reading.
And thanks to Linkerman for doing the cover ar
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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So far I like it this, its going into my favs for now.
*Claps hands* Well played sir a Follower u have gained
I love it. This is so different from other HiE fics. This one just... Is. There just happens to be a regular old guy in Equestria. I FUCKING LOVE IT!
I'll keep an eye on this.
Interesting... I'll keep my eye on this.
Why does this not have more likes...
Sounds interesting.
yes a good story keep up the good work
I don't quite understand the meaning behind this line, also, this is a pretty sexy story, fav'd and thumbed.
its very interesting to say the least
good job good sir
Reading fight scene between solar guards and Hunter.
My thoughts:
The only reason I could think of was that these were rookies.
I personally would think that they would have some info on who is staying long term at the castle so that they know what to expect, or at least Shining Armor, as he is the captain of the day guard, like the night guard's captain, Shrouded Armor, who seems to be up to date on castle stuff.
I also remember that there were other solar guards who (kind of) interacted with him. Chapter 2 in the beginning.
1836531
Keep in mind that the solar guard at the door in chapter two looked at Hunter suspiciously
1836969 Yeah, but did he try to attack any of them at anytime? As well as in the fight, he just stood there, not fighting back. If I was one of the guards attacking, one of the things I would notice is that Hunter isn't trying to do anything, even try to dodge. He just stands there and allows the guards to hit him without any reaction other than to try to surrender.
poor poor girl
crap missed first by 31 sec
1842162
How so?
Pretty great story, and while I feel the definition of the humans is... slightly harsh, I guess it applies, somewhat. While it is harsh, I absolutely love it, as it makes humans sound quite evil.
1842506
ah luna trys to get closer to the man but the head pain will make it all harder to be friends
Dun dunnnnn. TACTICAL PLOT DEVELOPMENTS INCOMING!
TAKE COVER!
Well this is going to be a welcome monkeywrench in something's nefarious plans, actually trying to throw Hunter and Luna into each other's arms as a distraction. Foals!
Kinda hard to start a forbidden romance when they cant even touch. 
Hopefully this is going to give him some breathing space to see the other machinations centered on his person...
Such a great story!! Why must you cliffhang it here! D:
"Align yourself with a house"
It's just like Morrowind all over again.
And now I suppose the Diamond Dogs join the fray.
Lovely, just lovely; I wonder if you're planning to ship NightmareMoon as separate entity or as one with Luna. Which leads me to wonder what the cylinder tube is. I'm guessing a gun, but I do not recall him coming to Equestria with a gun. This is Great chapter, none the less.
Hrm, Somebody is going to a lot of trouble to steal an ammunition cartridge just to find out what secrets the human has to use. The old adage of "Chimpanzees and Dynamite" might apply to the conspirators at some point soon...
It's a bullet. What's my prize?
1947840
Its a call back to chapter 1; when Luna see him he is holding something that she describes as a weapon, even though it never says what it was
1948317
An invisible cookie; which, sadly, has gone missing
1950886 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Hey. Hey. You... I love you for this. And I'm sorry to say I can't draw worth shit.
Great story so far...minor gramatical errors (not that I do better myself...)...othervise its seems like a solid story.
Allso...nice 'Samurai Jack' ref (its were I know the scene at least)
Probably more but oh well
Bold
Tense
Bold
While I'm fairly sure your semicolon usage is technically correct, it feels overused and unneccesary.
Feels awkward to read
1993626
Fixed
And Fixed
This has been changed to show its internal present tense dialog
And awkward conversation is still awkward. I really don't know how to change this one.
Sexy... I imagine a lot of jealously will take place in the future.
Bum bum bummmm. There, I said it.
The human introduced himself as "Hunter", but was referred to as "Nathan" at one point:
“Yeah, back on my… world, I guess, humans are the only sapient creatures.” Nathan answered looking from one princess to the other; the two princesses stared at him blankly. “I’m guessing by your reaction that it’s different here?”
Might want to fix that.
Nightm- err Selene x Hunter shipping? ... Do continue.
Ha, the mental imagery of Luna frantically jumping into Celestia's bed
Someone remind me though what stakes the Diamond Dogs have in this story, it's been too long...
2033986
Good catch. I totally missed that one.
Wow, Hunter is certainly deep in the web isn't he? Anticipating who gets him first......
“If we attempt the rescue, the griffons might think we are planning a war with them. If we let the actions of these diamond dogs go unchallenged, the other nations will think that we are unable to protect our own boarders and go to war with us.” (borders)
I hate "speilczech" sometimes... I'm guessing this is an auto-replace error on its part...
It also cant pick out similies despite the grammer check it also does.
Jesus, shit is about to hit the fan here. Like a 10 gambit pileup...
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA
I must say Princess Luna remains remarkably calm at the possibility of Hunter dying
Whats to say she's not some what use to lost barring the obvious, well certainly wanting to see those time gaps filled in.......
wow go hunter that sounds like what would really happen if a human end in there. we might not be the strongest, the toughest or the fastest not even the smartest but there is a reason why you don't mess with humanity cause you can't break our sprits. firt.
too many to list, ctrl-f for <” > (quote and space) to track down all the errors.
do not capitalize after a quotation (here)
lacking in the 'show, don't tell' department (I feel this is a problem throughout the story but it stands out here a lot); how about "The human grunted in pain as the alpha's whip cracked through the air."
this is either wrong or an expression I'm not aware of
missing verb
spelling
the 2nd part isn't a complete sentence so it cannot be separated by a semicolon
duplicated words
not sure if this is the correct verb tense
together used twice
verb tense
cool
An update on how our lovely factions and their schemes are progressing in this gambit pileup!
The Good Guys and Luna who just wants her friend/crush back
. Awaiting his 'miraculous' survival :)
Royal/Blue Blood who just want to use them for their own gain (opening some hidden vault afaik). Somehow I'm feeling that keeping Hunter alive is just a side effect and they wouldn't care less otherwise... Still it's a step up from the others.
Lady Prestidigitation and her misguided attempt to fulfil a prophesy
... This has to be a trope.
The griffons appear neutral.
And our mystery faction that wants to kill Hunter, while at first I thought they were diamond dogs it appears changelings are now involved too!
Hmmm...humanoid proportions...shapeshifter...tiger like features...
...Was that a rakshasa?
2239714indeed
When the fake Hunter showed up, what made me realize that he was fake was that he got near Luna without any pain, which has been a recurring event with the alicorn sisters.
After I realized this, I then had an idea that the real Hunter would show up, beat the shit out of the assassin, and then probably go into a coma from the abuse his body has suffered.