Would it matter if I wasn't?

by a human

Uhhhhhh

α laid back in the running stream, feeling the hard, smooth pebbles chafe against his body, letting the shallow, quick water flow under him. It wasn't particularly comfortable. The cold water seeped into the gaps between his joints, and made the sensitive parts of his exoskeleton sting even more than from just the impact.

Today had not been a good day for α.

It had not been a good day for just about any changeling, to be honest.

They were already on the ropes with nearly every other species—now that they had pissed off one of the largest industrialized nations in the world, they were screwed.

Completely screwed.

They were probably in deer territory now. Not just because they were in a green, lush forest right now—deer lived in other places too, it would be offensive to just assume that—just because it would be the worst possible thing to happen right now. The deer and the ponies were on very good terms with each other—whether that was because they superficially looked similar was anyone's guess, but the point was, this was the last place they'd be safe.

The ponies probably assumed they had been blasted away to some godforsaken—no, Celestiaforsaken desert by now. Honestly, that might've been preferable to this, just so they could be alone. Or at least in Saddle Arabia. They had a modicum of tolerance for changelings. They merely banished them to endure the hellish desert heat instead of killing them outright.

"You know, I just wanted to get into the prostitution industry. Benefits us, benefit them, there, deal done! But nooo, that wasn't dignified enough. We had to do an invasion," another changeling said, walking in no particular direction far too casually. "Now look at us. What kind of dignity do we have now? Blasted out by a smooch. A smooch! I didn't even know magic worked like that. Dear Chrysalis, imagine if they had been—"

He stopped when he noticed that α had been glaring at him for the past minute. "α? You okay?"

"Do I look okay, β?" α said. "We're probably doomed to extinction by now. I am certainly not okay."

"…sorry."

α sighed, and slowly, with much exertion, righted himself. "I think your idea might've worked, if it's any consolation."

"Thank you."

α tried to stretch, and looked around. He could see a fairly large amount of other changelings sprawled out similarly to how he was. "How's everyone doing?"

"…good enough."

α didn't really want to know many more details than that. "And… Chrysalis?"

Now β looked fatigued. He pointed behind α. "She's back there, leading a… war song."

α was surprised he didn't notice the singing before, but it must've been far away enough it was hard to make out unless you were looking for it. He strained his ears, and made out a passage.

"But worry not, your mother has a plan…

We will return and will take back the land…

Strength in numbers we have on staff…

So we will have the final laugh!"

α scoffed. "…idiots." But he couldn't say that with much force. While him and β had free wills—and hence, the single letter names—most changelings were biologically compelled to follow the orders of their queen—Chrysalis.

"She's… changed," β said.

"Yeah," α said. "She used to be one of this hive's best queens. I was so happy when she ascended. For a while, I thought she could actually restore the changeling empire! But then… she just snapped. Became obsessed with that damned country… Equestria."

"I hear something happened between her and Celestia."

α shook his head. "I don't care. That doesn't… that doesn't justify condemning this whole hive… and maybe all changelings… to death."

β was silent. The trickle of water seemed louder. "Let's get away from here."

"Where? Where can we go?"

"I don't know. Further upstream. So we don't have to listen to that damn song."

α heard the chorus echoing over the bend.

"We the hive mind, we the swarm have faith in our mother…

She inspires us and teaches us and calms us during storms…

If only others knew her love they wouldn't see a bad girl…

For it's her love that keeps us safe out there in a cruel world!"

α shook his head, and they slowly walked up the river. β was relatively unharmed, but he slowed his pace to keep up with α. α, while not mortally wounded, was obviously limping, and his wings were torn in many places.

Some of the other changelings looked at them a bit strangely for walking away from Chrysalis, but they couldn't really say anything to two single letters.

"You know," α said, looking at β wearily, "you don't need to do this."

"Do what?"

"Be with me. Hold yourself back… so you can be with me."

β snorted. "I'm not holding myself back. We're friends. And you know just as well as me that it's every changeling for himself now."

α paused. "…this doesn't have anything to do with the fact that you're attracted to other changelings, right?"

If changelings could blush, β would have blushed. "W-What are you talking about? I'm normal! I'm only attracted to normal things, like small furry mammals and my own mother!"

Things like that were one of the reasons changelings had a difficult time getting along with other species.

α shook his head. "Don't worry, I don't think you're a freak," he said. "…okay, well, sort of. But I don't mind. I've known for a while now."

β thought about that. "Was it…?"

"Operation convince-the-castle-librarian-Luna-doesn't-actually-exist? Yes, it was that," α said. He paused. "What exactly was the point of that operation again?"

"I don't know. Chrysalis said that it could come in handy later."

α rolled his eyes. "Anyway… you were… not exactly subtle."

β clammed up, and continued not blushing furiously.

Changelings fed best on love, but sex could easily do in a pinch. So, while the only time they reproduced was when they mated with their queen, they had, out of natural selection, developed a considerable lust for other species.

Chrysalis had basically accepted this.

Personally, she wanted to return to the changeling empire's days of glory, in which changelings kidnapped and emotionally manipulated large numbers of people into providing the most pure, devoted, insane love in the land… but that was not entirely practical. The changelings simply did not have that kind of power anymore, and many of the single letter changelings, like α and β, disagreed with that vision. While Chrysalis technically had supreme authority over her hive, she could not afford to lose the loyalty of the single letters—the only drones intelligent enough to organize the others and run deep cover operations. So, she conceded to them in that one small way. Even though she felt it slightly undignified, she let her hive feed themselves with intercourse however they wished. After all, in the end, she had to admit that the nourishment her hive could get from one night stands was nothing to sneeze at, and much more easily obtained.

But there was one thing she would definitely not stand for.

Relationships between changelings.

Sometimes, in their youth, changelings would, while coming to grips with their powers… experiment with each other, and this was acceptable. After all, how else would they learn how to simulate the throes of passion? Better to learn it there than risk exposing themselves in the field.

But for adult changelings to do such a thing? No. Never. It was impossible for changelings to feed each other, so it just wasted energy. Those relationships could be very intense—but in the end, it would do nothing but waste resources.

And so people who had been tempted by that siren song, like β, had to remain in hiding, for fear of being exiled, or worse…

"Look, α, if I'm making you uncomfortable…"

"No, no, it's fine," α said. He paused. "The only reason I'd hate you… is Chrysalis. And I'm not going to listen to her anymore. Not a single word."

β stiffened up at the bit at that statement. Most changelings would. "You aren't?"

"She led us to our death for completely selfish reasons," α said. "I don't feel any loyalty to her."

"But that's…!"

"Madness? Are you saying it's okay that this…" He gestured at their surroundings. "…is our new normal?"

β was silent. "I… I don't like her, but…"

"You never actually thought of leaving her?"

"Of course! That would mean…"

"Leaving the hive."

The two stopped. They were quite a ways away from most of the other changelings at this point.

"But that's treason!" β said, although his voice quavered, as if he was unsure. "We—you can't just abandon the hive like that!"

α glared. "I can, and I will."

"You can't make it out there!"

"I don't expect to. But at least I'll die on my own terms."

β jerked. "Are you even a changeling?" he said, slowly. "What kind of changeling would just selfishly commit suicide like that!? Yeah, I was talking big earlier, but that's because I wanted to help the hive, not leave it!"

α, despite being significantly more injured than β, stood strong. Even before he said anything, his posture made it clear that he wasn't planning on giving up anytime soon.

And, in that moment, with the adrenaline rushing to his brain, and potentially clouding his thought process a bit, he pulled a stunt that would forever go down in changeling history.

α inhaled. "Would it matter if I wasn't?"

"What?"

"A changeling."

β blinked a few times, unable to think of a useful response to that. His mouth opened and closed, various words and sounds almost coming to the surface but not quite completing themselves. The sound of the stream, once again, seemed to get louder, but this time, the sound of some birds broke the silence, making the atmosphere somehow even thicker.

β slowly looked over α's insectoid, chitinous, clearly changeling body. "…but… you… are."

"But you just said…"

β regretted his words, although not entirely for the reason he thought he would. "α, I was being… metaphorical."

"No, no, you have a point. If I was really a changeling, I would never doubt Chrysalis, right?"

"Look, I…"

"So, there's one logical conclusion." α paused. "What if I was… a double agent!?"

β was suddenly not sure where α was going with this. "…excuse me?"

"Celestia's finest, sent to infiltrate a changeling hive and spread the evils of truth and love. Special Agent Sweetie Drop's first… and last… male partner."

"Er, what?"

With a flash of light, α's form was replaced with that of some random unicorn pony. "Behold! My true form!"

β facelegged. "α, you just shapeshifted. Which only changelings can do. Speaking of which, don't hurt yoursel—"

"I could be a pony disguised as a changeling!"

β rolled his eyes. "For Chrysalis' sake, ponies can't shapeshift!"

"They could have found a way. Magic. I don't know. They could have developed it as a secret military technology. Can you think of anything to contradict that?" Then, with another flash of light, α returned to his original form.

"There, look!" β said, pointing at him. "You just changed back! If a pony was your real form, you'd stay like that, because it'd be less energy, right!?"

"I can do what I want," α said. "That doesn't necessarily prove I'm not actually a pony double agent."

β was lost for words.

"Look, I'm talking hypotheticals here, okay?" α said. "I'm not actually a pony in disguise." He looked around shiftily. "Probably."

"…right."

"But what if I was one?" α's face suddenly grew a shade more serious. "What would you do? Would you care for me? Would we be friends? Or would you kill me, here and now?"

β stared at α for a couple seconds. "You… you actually had a point to that."

"Of course I did."

β inhaled. "It's not a difficult question to answer, though."

α cocked his head, almost disappointed. "It… isn't?"

"No, of course not," β said. "Ponies, and other species, aren't changelings' enemies, for Chrysalis' sake. We don't hate them. They're our food source. Do you think wild animals hate the prey they catch? Do you think they want to kill things to eat them? Of course not! They just don't have a more efficient way to sustain themselves. If they had a way to eat without harming their prey, I'm sure they would do it. And… the thing is, we do have a way to eat without harming our prey. So why should we?"

α considered that response. "So, you'd stay with me."

"Yes," β said. "I wouldn't… quite feel the same way about you as if you were a changeling, but… well, if you had infiltrated us for that long, you'd be a better changeling than most changelings, to be honest. Even if this was just a job for you, your skills would still make a valuable contribution to the hive. And… the stunt you pulled just now… would prove that this isn't just a job for you. The most important part about you… that you want to help us… no, that you want to help others in general… would remain the same."

α was silent. "And what would Chrysalis say?"

"What?"

"To that question."

β sighed. "She'd probably say to lock you up in the dungeon and eat you."

α stepped over a few rocks and touched β's shoulder. "And which one of those answers do you think represents the true heart of a changeling more?"

β didn't need to give a response. They both knew what the answer to that question was.

This time, it was α that led the way, even though he was still limping. "Come on, let's go."

"Go where?"

"Away. I don't know. Somewhere."

"What will we do?"

"I don't know. Something. But at the very least, we won't harm things… like the hive's been doing." α paused. "Even if it's just two of us… even if it's just me… I want to show the world that there can be moral changelings. I want to show the world… the true heart of a changeling."

α looked back. And even though that future was uncertain, when β looked into his eyes, he could not help but feel that, even if their journey were to end in failure, it would be a noble quest, one that he would be perfectly happy dying for.

"I'm in," he said, and walked up to α's side.

α smiled. "You know, I really did like your idea. Maybe we can…"

"α."

α looked a little surprised. "What?"

"One condition, though."

"What?"

β's face hardened.

"No more stupid hypothetical questions. That one made my head hurt."

Comments

[xoid]

Takes place in the Matterverse, a multiverse that encompasses every possible variation of the half-hour after the Canterlot Wedding in which all of Equestria suddenly drops everything and begins philosophizing furiously.

Never have I been more tempted to upvote based purely on the description. After reading the story I can safely do so without feeling an ounce of guilt — it was good. Technically proficient, fits the mould while treading new ground, mildly amusing… overall it was a good take on the whole phenomenon.

[bobbananaville]

Yay!
Sometimes I forget that you're good for more than just surprisingly good, really whacky metafictional stuff.

Quick note: 'Free Wills' might, in a sense, be correct - each changeling has an individual will of their own - but I usually see it written as people having free will, singular. Like how we all have faith or hope, not faiths and hopes (well, sometimes hopes).

Alright, now it's time to check out Masterweaver's story of the exact same title.

[Fwelin]

6522306
That's because the concept of faith is a type of noun called an abstract noun. Abstract nouns are always treated as singular in terms of grammar, even if they are acting as a plural in meaning.

On the other hand, hope is a common noun, and seeing hopes used is auite common. Every heard of the term "hopes and dreams"?

Will is a tricky case, because will and free will are two different, but very similar terms. The concept of free will, the ability of a being to make decisions on their own, is an abstract noun, and is always treated as singular. In contrast, will is an individual being's manifestation of free will, and is a common noun.

Faith does the same thing when comparing the concept of faith (abstract noun) to the usage of the word faith as a synonym to specific religions (common noun).

Examples:

"Our free will is a natural right."
"Our wills are all concentrated towards winning."

"Humanity's faith is a wonderful thing."
"John and Jack's faiths are at odds with one another."

Yes, English is dumb and overcomplicated.

[nioniosbbbb]

Just..... no. No more. The whole fic is a mess, a mess that fails to deliver a message about the whole thing and I fail to see a point where I am entertained.

[Zobeid]

"She used to be one of this hive's best queens. I was so happy when she ascended. For a while, I thought she could actually restore the changeling empire! But then… she just snapped. Became obsessed with that damned country… Equestria."

"I hear something happened between her and Celestia."

Or else, it might have been a chance encounter with Nightmare Moon: Black Angel

[LeoneHaxor]

Another story in the Matterverse, eh? Bring on the comments section blitzkrieg!

I'll be over here in my flame war bunker.

[Masterweaver]

mine was published first

But seriously, this is pretty good.

[n_neptune]

Can someone create a group for all of the fics based off of "would it matter if it was?" There's over a dozen now

Maybe the author of the original?

EDIT - There's actually already is one
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/209036/would-it-matter-if-i-made-this-group

[Matthais Unidostres]

6522719
Did we read the same fanfic?

[Aurora Dimmet]

6522719

The parodies are a good deal more entertaining than the confirmation bias guilt-trap crap that was the original, in my opinion. Plenty of people pointed out all the problems and fallacies in that story and were ignored due to the influx of people who don't spend time thinking about what they read and take everything at face value. It wasn't entertaining. In some cases it was plain insulting.

These are more fun.

[nioniosbbbb]

6523613 So in a sense you are saying that because it is a parody it is better.

No.
6523202 It is a mess, and failed to stand on one point to mock or focus its' humor. There was a joke I'm sure but the thing is it's mixed among the tons of tone changes that this fic has. Joke here, serious there, this issue here, more of another issue here, bla bla bla... Seriously leave me be okay? This was too short.

I rarely dislike fics and it's not just the issue that I dislike. It's also the size of this fic that proves that beyond the really overdone idea/parody of this... it really is rushed/sloppy. I mean changelings with names A and B? REALLY? Even changeling headcanons with numbers take more effort and time to make up!

Jesus why do I bother?

[a human]

6522008 6523017
I was actually thinking of making a Matterverse group, and came up with that description as a joke to use on the front page.

Among other things, the forum would be a "friendship deathmatch arena," in which every thread has to be in the form of "Would it matter if I was ______?", and you have to own up to some bizarre, possibly hypothetical secret. Then everyone else has to be really shocked and argue about the morality of it.

…but someone beat me to the punch, so whatever :|

6522306 6522346
This is the passage you're talking about, right?

While him and β had free wills—and hence, the single letter names—most changelings were biologically compelled to follow the orders of their queen—Chrysalis.

That… was just a typo, but now I'm not sure whether I should fix it or not. :(

6522757
No one outside that story's fandom is going to get that joke.

To improve that joke's accessibility, maybe you could, say, invite large portions of that story's fandom to comment on and like this story? :p

6522904
What the heck!? I could've sworn I searched for that story name and everything, and nothing came up! Arrrgh!

Glad you like it, though :p

[bobbananaville]

6522904 I'm fairly sure that this came out first. It was released on the 9th, while yours came out on the 10th.

[xoid]

6525440
Fwelin has the right of it. Free will is always singular.

[wille179]

"But worry not, your mother has a plan…
We will return and will take back the land…
Strength in numbers we have on staff…
So we will have the final laugh!"

[dragonjek]

Takes place in the Matterverse, a multiverse that encompasses every possible variation of the half-hour after the Canterlot Wedding in which all of Equestria suddenly drops everything and begins philosophizing furiously.

I will install this to memory and forevermore know these stories as Matterverse fics.

Someone make a TvTropes page STAT.

If this has any flaws, it's in making fun of Mother Changeling. Love that song.

[a human]

6527271
I was wondering when someone was going to notice that :p

6530257
I love that song too! I wasn't making fun of it! :(

[dragonjek]

6532065 Then let me revise my opinion to "flawless."

[Drynwhyl]

6523892 they're called Alpha and Beta, not A and B.

[nioniosbbbb]

6534592 Doesn't matter. My point still stands.

[Drynwhyl]

6534649 A and B are also numbers in base 16.

[nioniosbbbb]

6534660 65 and 66 are also ASCI representations of A and B. Still unoriginal names as fuck.

[Drynwhyl]

6534735 But it isn't more unoriginal than using numbers as a naming scheme, because for all you or I know any A or B could be a number.

[nioniosbbbb]

6534742 Sigh. I hate the numbers thing equally as much. It's a gratuitus attempt to be edgy and cool.

[a human]

6534660
...I may be a sorry case, but I don't write jokes in base 16.

[Drynwhyl]

6535611 Don't make me put a hex on you! Or force me to make (more) terrible puns!

[DarkPinkie]

6534592 Gamma and Epsilon was shocked over the conversation Alpha and Beta was having a little while away. But it sparked the seed of doubt in their minds.

Sorry I just wanted to write Gamma and Epsilon for some reason...

[a human]

6558707
No, no, it's Γ and ε. Do it right. :p

[DarkPinkie]

6561846 I'm sorry Sempai! I just don't know how to do those. Please forgive me Sempai!

[Hate9]

6522346 Doesn't 'hopes and dreams' refer to multiple hopes and dreams, whether or not they belong to multiple entities?

[Dustchu]

Ahhhhhh, this was a nice read... I don't think there are a lot Changeling fics :| is there a group for them?
I wanna read some Changeling fluff.

Nice job!

[Lord Seth]

6725080

There are actually multiple changeling groups. This one appears to be the biggest, though if you want more there's a bunch listed in the "Similar Groups" sidebar of that page.

[Dustchu]

6743117
Ooooh yay! thanks for finding that for meh! *glomps*

[Dustchu]

6743117
Ooooh yay! thanks for finding that for meh! *glomps*

[Flutters Is Shy]

The link for 'Yes, it matters' is broken.

[KvAT]

9033835
Better late than never, I guess...