Lilith is given an ultimatum by the Alpha Drone collectors. Gather love or have to situation escalated by referring it to higher powers. Unfortunately for her, she has no idea how to go about this after her escapades and lack of focus in training leave her without the skills needed to “harvest love” from the ponies. She knows what her issue is, but the Alpha Drones don't want to hear her excuses, they just want to see results and of course it's in their best interests to protect their own hides. Following an unlikely series of events, she sees herself in a situation where she is stuck with an Element of Harmony bearer for an indefinite period of time. What could possibly go right?
This takes place around Season 3, Twilight won't be an Alicorn... I think... or maybe she won't even play a major part at all, it's all a little TBD lol.
Image was just one I found on Deviant Art, full credit goes to the artist "MoonlitBrush". And no that's not blood x)
Lilith is probably the creepiest name you could give a changeling.
A few minor errors, for future reference, it's "'ll have you hanged"rather than "I'll have you hung."
Otherwise, awesome work on this!
5123925 But the sentence was “When Celestia finds out what you’ve done you’ll be hung!”
I mean it still could be hanged this hasn't been through an editor or anything, I'd rather fix my own void of practice rather than get somebody else to fill in the gaps at least for the moment x)
5123925 “When Celestia finds out what you’ve done she'll have you hung!”
That kinda sound more right I think.
5123966 Yeah, I know it sounds correct, but i assure you that it's hanged. But that's just a small detail.
5123977 np
5123977 Hanged sounds better anyway actually thinking about it, similar deal with spelt and spelled. My English teacher always had a go at me for using spelt x)
5123989 cool beans dude, i can't wait for the next chapter!
luna is tractor?(traitor misspelled)
It was strange rd kinda ooc but erm idea is that good that i can deal with it.
5124046 "rd kinda ooc"
Erm... what's that ;D Maybe I can reduce whatever that is if I know ^^ I haven't really written anything storyishkindathingys since my last Year 11 English exam paper (WHICH I GOT FULL MARKS A* ON THEN PROMPTLY DROPPED THE SUBJECT LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT HEUHUEHEUEUEHUEHEU)
5124046 Oh out of Characterrrrrrr yeah that's probably gonna be a running theme because I haven't actually watched MLP since S4 finale but I've been reading a crap load of fanfiction, a lot of which involved RD so my RD is probably gonna be a bizarre mash up of all those other stories I've read x) I'll think about what I'm doing in regards to that when I continue writing though. Thanks ^^
5124055
Get an editor then
Rainbow dash is kind of out of character (ooc)
5124083 For now I'd rather kind... hone my own incredibly rusty skills instead of having somebody else do it for me ^^ (I know that's not how it's normally done but I think it will be for the best for now :P)
Rainbow seems a little too...accepting to the situation, like you said. And your character seems a little....bland or stone faced. Give her a bit if emotion when she admits she has no friggin clue as to what she's doing. Make her groan in irritation when she realises that she tied up RD with no actual plan and them blush in embarrassment when Dash gives her a weird look for doing so!.
Y'know, stuff like that.
5124227 Thanks for confirming ^^ will look into that
Lilith is pretty scatterbrained, I think you nailed that part on the head. Rainbow is fairly accepting, quite odd, and then she let Lilith lick her hoof! That was amazing! Worth a bit of lust at least, we think.
Keep going! ;)
5125878 Def gonna have to work on tightening up these characters a bit :P but thanks ^^
This is doing better than expected honestly
Nice story so far
5126547
5128486
Hmm....no c2 yet? Also, hoof licking fetish? I think the gorge scene was a bit emotionally too quick.
5180466 mm I felt that too but I'm not entirely sure how to rewrite that without it seeming like the length was just forced, soooo yeah. Rest assured though it's not gonna be a 6000 word "omg we are so in love look at this fantastic character development and pacing" story.
5180466 And the hoof part I got from that 4 panel image of RD with anon, dunno just headcanon lol.
I think basically - RD is still massively suspicious but is going along with it atm for... some reason... and yeah well I'll get back to writing ^^
Ooh, this is nice. I like it. I can't wait for more!
well the title literally means, Constantly changing or constant development... This title is good for stories where the Plot and Character development is about Adapting to things... or very bi-polar like mood swings... Which you might as well change the title to "The Ex-Wife" LOL... Get it? Oh nvm.... and now i forgot what i was going to say because of a lame joke.... *Sigh* Nvm, Great start to the story. I noticed that it's been almost three months since you last updated this Story.. Some good advice being successful on this website, (or anywhere for that matter) is to try and stick to a set schedule with a goal. Ex: Publish a chapter once a weak with 2k - 4k words/ Publish a chapter every two weeks with 5k - 10k words/ etc....
Especially when you start getting some serious Views/likes/faves/book shelved yadi yadi yaa... But yeah there you go...
~Dragon_and_Gunz
5563891 Yeah I do have another one written and I rewrote chapter 1 but I'm not publishing it atm, I've been screwing around with FL Studio and Ableton the past few months. Hell I haven't played a game in virtually 4 months! Like shhhhhiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeettttttt I didn't go a day without playing one for probably a decade, and that's not even exaggeration x)
I am actually feeling like writing right this second, got some school work to do but yeah might actually give something a shot right now...
5602735 HURRY UP AND POST A NEW CHAPTER!
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
>Author havent been online since June.
Welp, wont even read then, cause i dont want to get hooked to a story thats never going to be updated.
>Its also 4-5 years old.
Oh heck me...