Hello!
If you know, lately, mysterious disappearances have been happening in different comic-cons and events, and even it is suspected that there is a mysterious "merchant" who offers articles to the people to finish their different cosplays...
God, I am going off topic here, my name is Michael, and seemingly I have just woken up in a crossing between an anthro Equestria and the neo-heisei universe of kamen rider, as the one and only Kamen Rider Wizard...
Why the flying buck I am now a Griffon!!!
Chapters (14)
6393514 thanks, hope i dont dissapoint
Not bad...needs some serious editing as far as grammar goes, but beyond that a decent start.
6394878 thank you, i am trying to get an editor
6395590 I guess you like it ?
6396301 dang you sir have definitely got my interest with this one. Just for that here is a original ring I designed to make wizard more versatile. I call it the fusion ring. It allows wizard to combine two of his elements into a new one or enhance one. Examples are storm, ice, magma and steam. This means the styles of wizard get a lot more veritable in battle. For example to use the ring after scanning it you have to scan two style rings right after word. So flame and hurricane would be firestorm and be a enhanced element as wind boosts fire. But be careful if your thinking of using both regular styles with the dragon versions. While evolving the form the draw back to that is it exhausts half the magic of the user once the armor is dispelled so two of the same element is to be used with the fusion ring only in emergencies. It might be possible to fuse three elements but it depends on compatability with them. Land and water for example isn't really compatible and if tried the draw back is magical backlash in the form of a explosion injuring the user and anything around him or her in a five feet radious. You can look up what each of the four main elements wizard uses to think of how many forms he gets. Infinity is still his final form as its all four elements together which is why I recommend two and three elements with this ring. I got inspired by all dragon style for this one. For same elemental fusions their names would be blaze dragon, abyss dragon, mountain dragon, and twister dragon. I have no clue if the fusion or enhanced dragon styles will effect the drago timer or all dragon style I mainly made this ring on a whim but this is how far I refined the idea.
^ Should be 'did' and also need to cap some sentences but other then that perfect~
6396626 oops thanks for that, ill try to correct them as soon as possible first thing tomorrow morning, and thanks for the upvote and the ffedback again
6396541 thank for the input, if you give me permission, i would love to writte one or two chapters with your ring design, also waiting some updates in your own displaced story and another one (I dont remember exactly wich one XD) Also thanks for your support and hope to have you for the ride
^ I'll
^ Shouldn't it be 'her' unless he talking about someone else
^Same as before shouldn't it be 'his' seems you get the two mix up a lot.
Also need to cap sentences and use periods more
6396668 thanks, I just corrected some mistakes, if you noticed more, please tell me, your help is greatly appreciated!!
6396658 my a key in equestria, kaizoku sentai or of bat and shy a tale of twins ones? Sorry but my mother recently died from a combination of cancer and pneumonia and her body was already degrading so until I get over that the stories are going to be taking a while. Anyway the image of the ring is two dragons spiraling around each other. Yes I know sounds a lot like polymerazation from yugioh but it was the closest I got besides a Ying yang symbol made of two dragons. Either works for the fusion ring. Besides the fusion ring is a concept I'm surprised no one thought of on this rider out of the other fan made rings.
6399100 if you have any other imput, or want something changed, feel free to contact me and ask
6401924 donuts + connect!
6401983 he's not haruto so his will be different I mean he's a griffon they need meat in their diet mainly. Fish would possibly be his way of regaining magic as he currently is half cat and some birds do eat fish. Eagles as gilda's head looked like definitely eat fish so that is possible. Plus their healthier then donuts. Just makes sense to me for this I doubt his body even in equestria can digest most of what he was used to as a human. I think his anatomy was shifted to that of the earth dimensional version of a griffon not the equestrian version.
Pinkie really should learn restraint one of these days. That kind of incident is just going to make twilight and the others have to wait for the explination plus while his reaction was funny it would stop being so if it causes injury. I'm guessing that twilight is going to lecture pinkie on her timing and wait until she was sure the person wasn't going to get hurt by that.
6406619 thank for your imput, what do you think about the story so far ?
6406663 its very good so far but the chapters do feel a bit short. And you do need to work on some details at least ... I just had the thought of the phantoms trying to go into the eg universe through the mirror which means twilight and the rider might have to see about preventing the phantoms from going to that universe especially if twilight manages to make the gate to that world able to be open at anytime visit those enchanted journals from rainbow rocks. By the way I was recently reading the harry potter fanfiction becoming alpha and I noted that the journals from that story is like the same as those in the rainbow rocks movie. That fanfiction was out longer then the movie so I'm thinking the writer had read that fic and liked the concept.
6406795 wich harry potter fic ?
6410740 becoming alpha. It is a slythern harry story along side a unite the houses I just noted that there is a mechanic in the story that is similar from the rainbow rocks movie.
Heisei. Neo Heisei is a fan term
Alright, you have a really good premise, a strong start... but you NEED to get an editor or a proofreader. Just to help it a little bit.
6531282 I know, I am trying to get one
Wait.....what!
Michael is a king! Holy beast core just what the hell is going on here. Seriously major plot twist I didn't see that coming. Though now that I think about it wizard infinity form's helmet does have a kind of crown shape nicely played.
6532990 heh, I was thinking something about those lines, the suit is ugly as a sin, but also i got the idea based on the concept that phantoms "override" their hosts during the transformation... what would happen if one displaced soul appeared during that precise momenr?
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I am glad you liked it
I always give stories that appear in my feed a chance, albeit a cautious one. That being said, let me explain why I gave this a thumbs down. The main character comes off as a gary stu and the fic is too edgy for my liking.
6543201 dully noted, thanks for your honest opinion, there are any suggestions for trying to get this better ???
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Well that's interesting.... how will the rest of the griffon nation react when Mitchael has to tell them the truth? That while the body is their king's the soul for the most part isnt. Because I will tell you now nothing is going to be the same after this. Looks like Michael is going to be busy trying to sort his memories from Augustus or as I'm now nicknamed the griffon gust. Sorry but the name king gust just seems to fit him for some reason at least before Michael's soul entered.
6545012 more or less, for now I am focusing on getting the story back on track, a couple more fight scenes, one day to day one, more memories, the revelation of... woops almost give you some spoilers, what do you tjink of the story so far?
6545035 it's good so far and I enjoy kamen rider so this is doubled. Just remember you may eventually have to get Michael to meet other displaced.
Uh Oh... Rainbow, Gilda... You two are in some deep shit now...
I don't know whether to laugh or start praying for you two.
6550804
Do both...that way you have moral highground and you feel good about yourself.
Holy beast core shit just hit the fan! I'm suspecting a phantom was behind gilda's problems and framed dash here. And things just got worse because both clocked Celestia a double whammy. I don't know ether to pity the two or fear for their lives so I will do both as a compromise. But shit the rider is pissed and when a rider is pissed you best run for the hills. There is a reason kamen riders are wild cards in the multiverse.
So... Fluttershy is a guy in this story?
Taking out some of the commas and adding [was] between gaze and lost would also make the sentence flow a bit better.
for example: Applejack was still watching me but this time her gaze was lost on the horizon, trying to understand what I had told all of them. Fluttershy was hidden behind his mane, as usual.
The story has an interesting concept... I can't say that I'm familiar with the entirety of the Kamen Rider wizard series but I have seen a few episodes.
The major thing detracting from the story is how clunky the grammar and dialogue sounds. Each character seems to speak the exact same way so their dialogue gets lost between characters, as well as the fact that several times two characters end up speaking in the same paragraph, making it confusing to tell who was doing the talking.
6559636 thank you for your imput, I will try to correct it and get better as a writer
So far Gilda has been spelled wrong in the story, there's no 'U' in her name
6559636 corrected
6562695 also corrected, thanks for your time pointing me the typos
Who or what is the thing in the cover art?
6872772 the original kamen rider Wizard, with the full dragon form
6872786 holy was that little dragon that appeared at the end of this chapter... Michael's inner phantom wizardragon? Okay what the hell was that about.
6877576 well, why not, I mean it is sentient and I always thought that Dragon would be an awersome companion outside the battle, and who says that it is a "he" ?
6877923 I didn't say anything about gender. I used dragon in the general definition of fire breathing lizard that can fly not the gender of male dragons. If I was going to use gender I would keep quiet until it's confimed.
sice you used water, i think you mean sapphire
Wizardragon followed him?? Ok this means hilarity is about to ensue
Do you hate the infinity outfit or is it just the character that hates it
7620572
Just the character