• Member Since 16th Aug, 2014
  • offline last seen September 15th

Jake Witt


I'm not just reading. My stories have "idea" but no "form" or "function". I'm just an armored guy riding a Robot Dino-Dragon; fighting a dark paradox man thing. I don't remember if I'm a robot.

T
Source

This story is a sequel to A Boy and his Box


My name is Jake Witt... or is it Lego Craft now? I'm here to live my brother's dream to be in Equestria all while living my dream to be Steve? from Minecraft. Luckily I'm still ginger and my creation mode powers can make up for my terrible endurance! ...I'm not supposed to say that last part, am I?

I have an ax wielding Mine Little Pony! His name is Box Hooves... for obvious reason. While my powers can get boring after a while, he knows how to spice things up! How? Minecraft MODS, that's how!

Join us as we fight monsters, find bosses, make friends, bake cakes, have sleepovers- Hold on...


Request Anything Below!

Canon Mods so far:
Mine Little Pony
Pokémon
DNA splicing
House Things
iPhone
TARDIS
Battle Gear 2
Parkour
Morphing
Sync Machine
Deadly Swords
Mini Me
Secret Doors
Spider-Man
Portal Gun

Chapters (12)
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Comments ( 13 )

add orespawn

6570192
I'm going to figure out what that is!

6573248 Pray that your character does not feed the prince a fourth diamond Block it will turn into the ultimate king that spawns stars that explode in your face and he's literally indestructible only way to get rid of him is send him to a different dimension peaceful and butcher doesn't work on him and he attacks everything oh and he can no-clip meaning it's impossible to hold him in a prison also add Pandora's box mod

6573343
Well, the last BahB died early because I didn't have a real threat. In fact, I might not go to modern Equestria or slay the Ender Dragon yet with this idea!

Brilliant, you saved me! :pinkiecrazy:

6573357 Just do regular King and Queen The Ultimate King is way too hard considering it's meant to kill you even with queen scale armor and the best weapons in the mod sidenote the prince and princess aren't actually children of the King and Queen they are secondary bodies and used when the main body is killed after that they play nice until they are adults

...uh, who wrote your synopsis? It's kinda...

It's not terrible, honestly. The only issue I had with the chapter is this:

The guy looked like a Resident Evil merchant wearing a Phantom of the Opera mask over his mask.

Apart from the dual masks thing, I'm reasonably certain that the Displaced admins are trying to get people to move away from the Resident Evil Merchant cliche.

Anyways, the story's solid so far, so I think your issue is in the MS Paint coverart and the synopsis. It provides a false impression of mediocrity in your story, and - when I came cross the original story - turned me off before I even opened the first chapter. What made me come back was when Middy mentioned that this was a rewrite, and my stubborn desire to help other writers flourish.

Onwards to the next chapter, I guess.

...now I see where those downvotes were coming from. Into the breach!

The music ends as another being appears. John DeLancie's abomination that my brother won't stop fawning over. He has a long serpentine body, a lion paw, eagle claw, a goat leg, dragon tail with a pink tuff on the end, mismatched yellow and red eyes, an antler and a ram horn, a single fang poked out... He's essentially what you envision the 'Lord of Chaos'.

Hoo boy, where do I begin

Fix the freaking tenses. Present tense should not be used when you've already started using past tenses. This leads to confusion and the sense that you're a bad writer.

The music ended just as another being appeared: the abomination that my brother won't stop fawning over, voiced by John DeLancie.

... He's essentially what you envision the 'Lord of Chaos'.

While Ace Attorney does this constantly, you don't capitalize words after ellipses.

didyoumean-generator.com/did-you-means/did-you-mean-61cde1fa28785135c843706ef5ceea4b.png

"Uh... hello? New slave? Arise!" A mass of flesh fell from the cloud as Box began to scream, me joining when I saw it had my face, but distorted.

Discord is the Lord of Chaos - slavery, while evil, is still a form of order. AKA something Discord would never promote. You done goofed.

The music in my head came out for all to hear as the power of John Cena memes took me over and I tossed my ax at his face. It hit.

Get noscoped scrub.

The rest of the chapter...

Oh God The Quality is Terrible.

I'll continue with this breakdown later.

6579775
I kept the old pic for me, but I'm willing to change it.

I think my grammar got worse this month.

6579775
I made some edits and will recheck everything afterward slowly.

Glacticcraft.
Witchery.
Maybe build craft?
Em...
Not enough items (or too many items, forget which one it's called).
Flans mod.
IC2
I could keep going with this list...
Just rip tekkit off and add it to the mine little pony mod pack lol.


Anywho, I will check this out tomorrow... but for now, I need to go to sleep as I have school tomorrow......................

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