It was a bright sunny day in Equestria, or at least the part where Ponyville is situated, as days in Equestria are wont to be, except when they aren't, which is a non-trivial amount of time. Birds were singing and stuff. As for myself, the bat pony named Super Trampoline, I was relaxing near the Ponyville Lake (the one that shows up once or twice a season, not to be confused with that reservoir that only appears in the Mysterious Mare Do Well. That episode sucked, so obviously it's not cannon.), tanning my leathery wings and solving Sudoku puzzles. I'm very good at Sudoku. It's one of my many talents, you see.
Suddenly, Applejack Apple galloped over to me. "Super Trampoline, my amazing coltfriend and all around upright and outstanding stallion, I need your help!"
A friend in need is a friend indeed, especially when she gives you smooches. "Well Applejack," I said, sure to start a new line of dialogue in a new paragraph, because I'm good at that stuff and definitely not an amateur hack that gets tripped up by spelling and grammar errors like most of those other wannabes who seem to think that they're dating my fillyfriends, "Whatever seems to be the matter?"
Applejack skidded to a halt, panting. Applejack is very athletic and well toned and has a nice butt, which I was certainly not staring at, so the fact that she was panting must have meant she had galloped here very quickly, or over a long distance, or some combination of the two. Another one of my talents is deductive reasoning. Anyway, Applejack replied, "Super, my love, I planted too many apples. I don't know what to do with them all!"
I love Applejack very much. She rarely beats around the bush. She gives it to you straight. You could say she's honest. Go on, say it. I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to, but I personally enjoy saying "Applejack is honest." So if she said that she planted too many apples, I assumed she meant it. Except I suspect she actually meant apple trees. Planting the fruits themselves, well, I mean, I guess I suppose what with the seeds inside that that might eventually sprout new trees, but I'm not really sure if the seeds need to be freed from the apple first. I may have many talents, but agriculture is not one of them. Fortunately I have a fillyfriend who is an excellent farmer!
So I asked Applejack, "So are you telling me your problem is that you have more apples than you can harvest and sell?"
"'Fraid so, Sugarcube," she said in her rustically charming way. "You're smart Super. That's why I love you. Well, one of the reasons." She blushed a little, and it was cute. "What do you think I should do with all these apples?"
One of my other talents is being generous. Not as generous as Rarity--another beau of mine, of course. I'm not a mary sue. But nonetheless I am pretty generous and so I like to help less fortunate ponies. I knew there was currently a famine and a drought going on in Saddle Arabia far far away. I knew this because I read the newspaper every day. Reading is another one of my talents. Mind you, most ponies can read, even blind ones, so it's not a very special talent. So I thought to myself, you know, I bet they would appreciate some apples out there. So I told Applejack, "Sweetheart, I think that since your farm is already very profitable since apparently you have a monopoly or something on selling apples or something I don't really know though I probably should look at your books sometime, why not donate those extra apples to poor starving foals in Saddle Arabia?"
"That's a great idea, Super!" she said, hugging me. She was really sweaty and stank a lot, but I didn't mind. In fact, the smell of hard work is quite pleasant. "But," she added, "how will we keep them from spoiling? And how will we transport them?"
These were valid concerns. I thought for a moment. "Well, Twilight Sparkle could probably work up a refrigeration spell. And, as for transportation, well, we have this excellent socialized public transport extending throughout our country called a railroad. Don't you use that for shipping apples already? And when the apples reach the coast, we can hire a small armada of zeppelins or something. It will be great positive publicity." Twilight Sparkle, by the way, is another one of my fillyfriends. Thanks to them dating me, she and Applejack have become even closer friends.
So with my toned batpony muscles and the hired help of a migrant worker (Trixie, who I'm also dating, but our relationship is long distance since she travels a lot.), we harvested all the extra apples and sent them to Saddle Arabia, so that they can be secretly sick of apples but too polite to complain about it just like I am.
I can't tell the parodies from the trollfics, anymore.
Hahahahaha!
Best line of the fic. I like this. This is genuinely pretty funny. Sequel Please, but with a better title.
Congrats, you've simultaneously made it on my "Do not read" list and my "Liked Stories" list.
I'm gonna downvote this... But only cause you asked. Personally, I think this is genius, especially if you're doing what I think you are.
I-I mean... Boo! Mary Sue! Bad OC! This title sucks! Waaaaah! *various aggressive monster mash noises*
Thus far, we have the ol'-fashioned weather report intro, then we see that OP's OC, a batpony by the name of Super Trampoline, is dating at least four ponies (Applejack, Rarity, Twilight Sparkle, and Trixie-- the first seems to have sexual undertones). Super and Applejack are discussing what to do with an apple surplus. Super suggests sending it off to Saddle Arabia, and Applejack readily, blindly agrees.
If that's so, WHY DON'T YOU JUST STOCKPILE IT!? Ponyville could use them in a famine, y'know!
Then the chapter ends with a gif:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/3/29/588254__safe_solo_applejack_animated_screencap_smile_upvotes+galore_cute_open+mouth_eyes+closed.gif
This is how I end this comment:
65wat.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/65-wat.jpg
If you downvoted this. You obviously are mad.
I object!
Trampolines are in no way 'super'.
THE END!
6025577 Yeah this is hilarious!
Wut
Man, you weren't even subtle about this troll fic, were you? Is that the point? Is...is that funny? Because I think it's funnier to make something just earnest enough to get some idiots to believe that it was a serious effort on your part. Based on the comments, you didn't fool to many people, and I feel like that defeats the purpose of the troll fic.
Although I suppose that makes this a parody of troll fics rather than an actual troll fic...in which case...yay? I dunno, that seems just...kinda pointless and easy.
Like, I was searching Google images for some funny picture to express how I find this humor to be too simple in that it's an extremely easy target because I'm not clever enough to use language to articulate that in a similarly funny way, but all I got was Cam from Modern Family running effeminately with a text bubble hovering next to him containing the words 'This is a very easy joke!'. I'm not even going to link it. That's how disapointed I am in the internet.
Shame. Now I have to use my words. Well, I don't have to. But I'm already two full paragraphs into this comment, so I might as well.
This is...it's just...it's nothing. It's a nothing. It's pointless. You know what, I know why. I just thought of a way to express it. What are troll fics, in essense? I mean, yes, they serve the purpose of pissing gullible people off, that comes with the territory of Trollville, but I'm not asking what they're purpose is, I'm asking what they are.
Parodies. Parodies of bad stories written by geniunely bad writers. Bad stories which involve Seventh Element Mary Sue OC's dating (and usually fornicating) with the Princesses and/or the Mane Six.
Parody, to me, is making fun of something that was done unironically (probably used that word wrong, but whatever), something that wasn't really intended to come across the way it did.
So...what's the point of a parody of a parody? Nonexistant. There is no point. Sure, some people might still enjoy the humor, but I just don't get it. It's stale. It's been done to death. The only thing new you've brought to the table was your blatent disregard for subtlty. That's just not funny.
Eh, humor is subjective. I still upvoted this because it interested me, but I guess that's kind of like downvoting something I've enjoyed.
10/10 would read again - IGN
Okay, let's see why everyone is freaking out over this.
37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyms05jLix1ql5uxjo1_250.gif
Okay lets see what all of the fuss is aboot.
You sure you're the one to talk, buster?
The art of breaking the 4th wall is a subtle art. One you have yet to learn young padawan
Okay that was an actual funny line lol Too bad the rest is only downhill
Alright we get it. You can stop nudging me in the ribs now and get on with it.
archive.4plebs.org/boards/tg/image/1386/03/1386034282395.png
Yeah you're not a mary sue. You're just a poor old Gary Stew
And thus ends this non conflict. Wow this is making G3 look like a warzone. Reagrdless it is extremely fun to riff on. Good on ya mate
TROLOLOLOL!!!
This was a delicious slice of John Dash.
You're right, you're not a mary sue, your taste in mares is atrocious. If you're ok with sharing Applejack with Braeburn, more power to you I guess.
I...
Huh...I'm actually at a loss for words
Scout, help me out here
I don't mean it in a negative/derogatory way
i love these kind of parodies
6028998
Are...
Are you critiquing this like it's not 100% parody?
I don't know whether that makes a statement on your ability to discern that, or that you read other stories like this that are serious...
Unless of course your critique was ALSO satire, in which case it was not conveyed well...
6026924
Well, and it's SuperTrampoline... he'd have to throw it on a different account to pull off the "am I serious or not?" thing because people know him too well.
These parodies are annoying. They are not original, and thus are not as funny as they should be. You seem to be a decent writer when I briefly looked at your other work, so you can do better. Do something random, sure, but please no parodies, if only because they are overdone horrendously.
stopped reading story cant get any better than this.
Huzzah!
I'm confused. Should I upvote this? That's the impression I'm getting here.
6625456
My thoughts exactly!
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/3/29/588254__safe_solo_applejack_animated_screencap_smile_upvotes+galore_cute_open+mouth_eyes+closed.gif
Except the water is water and I only downvoted because you told me to
good job?
I just finished the first chapter.
It was amazing.
I down voted right away.
I will continue reading this story to completion.
It's so horrible, it curves right back around to being fucking hilariously awesome!
Oh.... uh oh...
...What am I getting myself into?
9308646
The best story evar!!!
This is the most well written story on fimFiction! Well done! I really felt the emotion and empathized with the main characters struggle. Also I love how he was a batpony instead of an Alicorn! So original!
9321131
tHANK yOU!!!
9510109
Another One.
This should have been
(the one that shows up once or twice a season, not to be confused with that reservoir that only appears in the Mysterious Mare Do Well. That episode sucked, so obviously it's not canon),
There's a crucial difference between this and canon.
9840694
True, but remember which story you are reading. I’m going to pretend that was intentional. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I like some aspects of the story, but downvoted it because you wanted me to.
9028863
Yeah. I guess that´s a weird want to have?
10045800
Thank you. I’m glad you appreciate it.
If you stare at the GIF for a moment it looks like her eyes weren't filled in all the way and all there is is mascara. Horrifying.
6026924
The mediocrity is what makes it so great.
10049673
I say we all upvote this just to spite him
Not to bad so far.
Also, it wasn't that bad
Hmm.............missing a hyphen. If its gonna be a bad story, it might as well be well written.
At least you admit it!
Missing another hyphen. and, be honest with yourself boi! If she has a nice bum, she has a nice bum! She is your girlfriend, no? So she won't mind you enjoying da guds!
Technically speaking, with a lack of a talent, it makes you NOT a Gary Stu!
Shouldn't it be Zebrica? Not Saddle Arabia?
This made my day, I really needed to read something like this.
10279415
Glad you enjoyed! It makes my day when I make people smile!