An A.I. awakens aboard the HKS Dancer, a desolate and quiet ship. The crew of which is nowhere to be found. And in the wake of all of this the A.I. discovers something.... something peculiar.
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Viking Hoof
Joined 15th Mar, 2013 ·
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...OK, this story is just as brilliant as it desperately needs an editor.
Frankly, I'd even offer myself because my curiosity is that peaked, but I'm more of an 'idea bouncer/wetter' while what you seem to need is somebody good at spelling/grammar; something that's sadly my own big weakness.
I'm digging the story so far, though, so I really hope it continues.
Curious. I wonder how much miss AI here is biological. Some things are just a bit ... off. Also somewhat amusing that Aurora seems to be unable to reconcile her new size.
5934737 know any editors?
5936579
Appletank a few comments back is actually a friend of mine and sounds like he'd be interested.
Send him a PM, and I'm sure he'd love to help.
5935179 The fun thing about size is that without external reference points, if you shrink or expand, without being able to observe the event, you would be unable to determine if your size changed or not. You will normally assume that you have not changed size
5940019 That's exactly the point. I nearly have the next chapter done and I am expanding on this point.
I'm not so sure of that. Given the relative-ness of the comparisons. If a starship of her assumed size was in an Earth level gravity field, I don't think the gravitational pull would be the same.
I can't do math properly right now, but I know that, with the scale she thinks she has vs the actual scale, a mile might correspond to a foot (or something, don't know the real scale) meaning that if she thought she was in earth level gravity and she was normal scale, then the gravity would be extremely high, at least compared to how much acceleration is applied to her pony body.
6412102 displacement = 1/2 * accelleration * time ^2.
If you assume time is the same, then if you multiply displacement (scale) by 100, you've got to multiply acceleration by
100.
Having said that - there are numbers of problems that would be casually apparent.
A 17km tall structure with an earth-like pressure in an earth-like gravity and air will have about a tenth of the air-pressure at the top.
There are probably so many problems if you stop to think about it that suspension of disbelief fails utterly.
6412102
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It's not feasibly impossible. If you manage to get something half as dense (on average) as mt. Everest, you could maybe do it.
Think about it, there are SPACESHIPS! While it would be harder than making a regular sized house, the pool of resources, and the scale of equipment, combined mean that a interstellar polity could really crank up the scale of building, hell, a corporation that spans just a fraction of a galactic arm would have incomprehensible resources at its beck and call.
Well, done I am curious as to where this goes.
I find this extremely intriguing, as well as a completely novel concept. Please continue.
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This isn't the first "item into pone" concept, but I'm glad to see everyone liked the spin I put on it.
6417523
Yo
This is exciting. We've got a bunch of weirdness to get passed but then we've got whatever caused an AI to be turned mostly into a pony. Twilight is probably nearby if pinkie is too so that'll be interesting. Are you looking for any extra editors by chance?
6418709 Why yes, I am. I'd love a second editor. ((it's "Past," not passed)) just teasin though. The weirdness is rather inherit to the story I think.
6417547 you wanna edit chapter 3?
6419172
Sure. Might be out tomorrow, though.
6419172 I suppose I need to reacquaint myself with the rules of past and passed, or I could blame it on autocorrect. Either way, I'll send you a PM with some info.
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6419203
You two there?
6431435
It was, Aurora took a millisecond to recalculate, approximately 17.5 kilometers tall
--[The aside in the middle feels off for some reason. Generally, that format is used to describe a noun or something in the first part.]
[I might try something like] "Aurora took a ... and found that it was approx...." etc
that set Aurors on edge.
--Aurora
and a overflow in
--an
"Go get guards to carry her to the hospital.
--[Dunno, this doesn't sound really "imperial" or whatever. Maybe:]
Get guards to...
Sombras methods left very
--Sombra's
Sidenote: Boo, necromancy is fun as long as you're careful
Sorry about the delay, I forgot completely when I got back home.
No, Aurora! Don't swat the love-pony!
If it's a single fly, that's a stimulus, not stimuli.
Well...crap.
so her hull actually did turn into a pony shape. Interesting. till this point I thought she just interpreted her body in words she knew.
...So, i take it whoever designed Aurora didn't bother with any first-contact protocols?
Because a tiny, completely biological 'fighter?' Blasting that because its touching your hull without doing any damage seems... short-sighted, to be blunt.
Then again, she had just been drugged, so not being at 100% seems likely.
6460214
I think she was more pissed at being abducted. After all, forcefully tranqing a frigate class starship generally does not imply good intentions.
6460696
Eh, fair enough. I could see that.
6460696
6460714
Actually, as she states around three times, she swatted the fly because it kept buzzing by her conning tower (head). Think of it like this, a small fighter craft repeatedly buzzing inches away from the conning tower of a battleship (a really big one). In space, this would be a insanely dangerous thing to do, oxygen or no, with the forces, and fuels involved possibly resulting in catastrophic damage. Consider the japanese kamikaze attacks of WWII, now imagine them running on nuclear fusion or fission cores, then imagine the ship they are bombing in a vacuum.
the scales and energies required for space flight are vast. Dynamite and other explosives alone don't scale linearly, you get more and more bang for your buck the more you add.
"[T]he small craft buzzed right past her conning tower, clearly in violation of a good majority of interstellar safety ordinances. One more violation, and she would be well within her rights to open fire.
But should sh- Aurora slowed in shock as the small craft buzzed right past the base of her conning tower. How DARE they? That was a massive violation of most craft handling laws in most of known space! Who would- "
6459764 oops.
6462535
Ah, fair enough. Wasn't thinking in those terms, but the 'tiny biological creature buzzing around.'
6461405 I'm glad you like it!
So your saying she is like Sweetie bot? Side mounted cannons?
Like the story, do you accept fan art?
6468765
1) no, actually, they are two cannons on her back, in line with her spine. You should think of turrets on a cruiser or battleship from WWII. Tbh, their exact placement has eluded me, mostly because I'm not sure where they'd fit best with her wings and stuff. I've also considered if there should be any on her underside. If you are curious, I'm sure I'm putting the nuclear response pods right under her wings (for dramatic poses while nuking enemies), but the pod shouldn't be visible except while in the middle of a launch (and I've got to design how I want the missiles to launch)
2nd) YES! I'd love fan art. This story really needs a cover picture too!
6475509 hmmmm ok.
If you could PM me details, mane style, color schemes, cutie mark, your ideas. I'd love to draw something up. Check my page for art examples!
Some questions answered. Some further anticipation added.
This chapter was really good.
I especially liked the bit with Aurora actually trying to just disable the 'enemy fighters' until they themselves resorted to 'lethal force.' Its small details like that that helps her feel like trained military instead of just a floundering every-man.
I wish I could up bottle this again. You're doing pretty well with this concept.
I love this concept. Looking forward to more. Keep up the good work!
6533345 bottle this up again?
6534222
Freaking android autocorrect.
*up vote this again
6533321
6533340
6533345
6533502
*Princess Alex slams her mailed fist on the arm rest of her small throne* all of you peasants, praise the chapter art, or off with your heads!
Oh, that's... weird. Her crew blasted out of her and are ponies? Or they're like... fleas, now? But then they'd go with the FTL jump. Anyway, it seems a bit troublesome how easily Aurora is beating them all. Not just due to being an OC, though there is that, but also problematic for the plot. Remember when you talk about Aurora's capabilities, star ships don't actually exist so you're just pulling outta your ass whether they'd be greater or less than happy sparkly princess powers. She could be a juggarnaut of military power, and still make for a solid story, but it could also turn into "Aurora shows all the ponies how much more powerful she is than them, the story."
6535782 her crew is unaccounted for, her cannons are at least as powerful as the cannons on the Cleveland, but not really (can't explain due to spoilers).
Honestly, you'll just have to see how her power plays out.
6535898
Oh, this is a crossover. Okay then... maybe you do have a frame of reference. Never mind me then.
6536151 the cleveland is a real life class of ship from WWII. This isn't a crossover.
6536166
Don't try to confuse me with logic!
6535422
Yes, yes, she's very pretty. Thought that would go without saying.
I am quite confused where that scrunchie came from, though.
Oh, and something I just realized: How come this story doesn't have any theme tags? Seems like quite the oversight.
6536795 what to put though?
6537532
Well, at least [Adventure] seems a given, with the whole finding her crew again thing.
That is very pretty chapter art, yes.
Now don't be mad, it was your original idea but, that picture of Aurora looks like a military brony's fantasy, or sci-fi, I am in the latter category.