Applejack.exe Has Stopped Working
Applejack lazily flipped through one of the many fashion magazines Rarity kept in the waiting room of Carousel Boutique. She wasn’t paying attention to it in the slightest; in fact, the only reason she picked it up was to have something to do to pass the time rather than give in to mind numbing boredom. Her eyes lazily glazed over the colorful images of what was apparently “in” this fashion season as she reclined further into Rarity’s couch. It made sense that her marefriend always chose this particular couch to faint on when she was being dramatic; it was really comfortable.
Feeling impatient, Applejack glanced over to the changing room several feet away. She could just see the top of Rarity’s mane as she forced herself into whatever extravagant outfit she was trying on this time.
“Are ya almost finished?” Applejack asked, glancing toward the clock on the wall. The hour hand was getting dangerously close the number seven. “Our reservation is in five minutes.”
She heard an indignant huff. “I will be ready soon, Applejack. However your constant interruptions only serve to delay me.”
Applejack rolled her eyes doubtfully. “Ah’m sorry.”
“Well, I’m finished anyway.” The doors to the changing room swung open, and out strutted Rarity. Applejack found her jaw sliding open as she sat up, and watched her marefriend walk out. The outfit Rarity had finally settled was actually quite stunning. Pink and magenta fabrics complimented each other just right while a thin layer of blue frills ran along the hem of the dress. Deep purple sleeves with just a hint of glitter snaked up Rarity’s forelegs and matched her quaffed, styled mane quite nicely. Sure it bulged in the back a little, but it was still amazing. Just looking at her made Applejack feel somewhat naked, in spite of her hat. “What do you think?”
Applejack blinked once before responding. “Huh?”
Rarity smiled teasingly. “Put your tongue back in your mouth, darling.”
“Sorry. But… wow, ya look great, Rares.”
Rarity’s brows knitted together with slight disgruntlement. “I don’t know.” She turned suddenly to face the mirror, adjusting the chest of the dress. With a new angle, Applejack could see that the bulge from earlier was a lot bigger than she’d previously thought. It practically made Rarity’s butt look massive, and she forced back a giggle at the thought. “I feel like it isn’t right.”
“What do ya mean it ain’t right? Ya made it, so it must be perfect.”
Rarity's lips folded into a faint smile. “Thank you, darling. But… it just isn’t right. I can’t quite place it.”
“Rares, ya look fantastic. Besides...” Applejack’s eyes flicked over to the clock just in time to see the minute hand click forward. “...we really gotta go.”
Rarity’s teeth clenched together and she sighed. “I don’t know. I feel like this dress isn't the one.”
Applejack uttered a groan. “Rarity, we’re goin’ ta dinner. It ain’t that big a deal.”
“How dare you say something so blasphemous, Applejack! It’s our three month anniversary, of course it’s a big deal.”
Not really. Applejack had never seen the point of any anniversary aside from yearly ones, but it was important to Rarity, so by default it had to mean something to her. “Ah’m sorry.”
“You’re forgiven. Now if only I could figure out why this dress doesn’t feel right.” She gave a full spin in the mirror, and her face showed her momentary shock when she noticed the bulge. “Applejack, does this dress make me look fat?”
The question took a moment for her to process. When it finally did reach her brain, Applejack felt her pupil’s shrink and her face pale. She gulped hesitantly. “Uh…” Oh no.
Rarity cocked her head. “Applejack?”
The word never reached her. Instead, Applejack was dealing with several thoughts of what do. So much internal conflict bubbled to the forefront of her mind that she was forced to shut down all unnecessary functions to confront the problem.
Ah have ta tell her the truth. Ah always tell the truth, and this should be no exception.
She glanced at the bulge, which seemed to be even larger now, if that was possible.
Except for the fact that Rarity would hate me fer sayin’ that. Oh Celestia, Ah can’t tell her she looks fat! It would be a disaster! And we’re already late enough as it is.
As if to drive that point home, the minute hand on the clock inched forward again.
Consarnit! Maybe Ah should lie just this once. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with a white lie, right? But what if somepony brings it up while we’re eatin’ dinner? She’ll be humiliated in public and hate me.
“Applejack, darling, are you all right?” Rarity took a few steps towards her.
What can Ah say? She won’t appreciate me weaselin’ around the question. In fact, it might just make her angrier. What if Ah don’t say anything? Would that work?
The minute hand ticked forward as Rarity’s hoof hit the floor. She was almost to Applejack, her face a mixture of concern and puzzlement. Knowing she would have to speak soon, Applejack’s brain became desperate.
Maybe she won’t care about mah opinion. After all, she never comes ta me for fashion advice in the firstplace. Ah don’t know a dang thing about it. But she did ask now… so that means Ah’m screwed.
Rarity reached Applejack and gingerly shook her. “Applejack, say something! Are you okay? Answer me!”
Answer ya? Ah wish Ah could, Rares. Ah’m just afraid of what Ah might say. Celestia, what can Ah do?
After realizing she hadn’t blinked or breathed in a while, Applejack suddenly came out of her thoughts. Her eyelids fluttered between closed and open for a while and she inhaled heavily. Rarity could now clearly see that Applejack wasn’t in a vegetative state, and her expression dictated that she get an answer soon. Applejack released her breath in a sigh. With absolutely no plan whatsoever, she decided she had to tell the truth.
Morphing her face into a preemptive cringe, she spoke. “Ya look… just a mite big around the hindquarters, Rares.”
The first thing Applejack heard was a thud as Rarity’s jaw hit the floor. Her marefriend whirled around to check her reflection in the mirror – her planet-sized rear end shoved in Applejack’s field of vision as she did so – and she let out a panicky cry when she saw herself.
“Oh my Celestia, you’re right!” Applejack prepared her face to be slapped. Repeatedly. Instead, Rarity began hyperventilating. “Oh, of the worst things that could happen, this is THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!” She prepared herself to faint, even getting as far as putting her hoof to her forehead, before she paused. With her free hoof, she shooed Applejack off of the couch. Obliging, Applejack moved, and watched as Rarity tossed herself onto her fainting couch overdramatically, and sobbed.
It took a second for Applejack to realize that she should be comforting Rarity right now. Sitting on the edge of the couch not swallowed by the massive dress, Applejack wrapped a comforting hoof around Rarity’s shoulder.
“There, there, Rares.” Applejack awkwardly patted Rarity’s shoulder. “It’s not the end of the world.”
“Yes it is!” Rarity cried. “This is a travesty! A disaster. A…”
“Completely minor problem that shouldn’t bother ya?” Applejack filled in. “Who cares if yer dress makes yer rump look bigger than Rainbow Dash’s ego? Ah sure don’t.”
Rarity sat up, the fabric of her dress rustling slightly as it moved against the couch’s felt. “I know you don’t care about appearances, Applejack, but I do. This is an imperfection, and I can’t tolerate that. Not tonight. I wanted this night to be perfect. We’ve been together for three months now… it’s a milestone I wasn’t sure we’d meet.”
“...Didya think Ah’d screw it all up?”
“No… I thought I would.” Rarity sighed. “I really thought I’d say or do something by now to ruin everything.”
“Same here. In fact, Ah was so scared that Ah almost didn’t tell ya ‘bout the fat thing ‘cause Ah thought ya’d hate me fer it.”
Her eyes widened. “You mean you almost lied to make me feel better? You almost lied?”
Applejack offered a weak grin. “Ah only considered it fer a little while... but yeah.”
“That’s sweet, Applejack.” Rarity nestled her head on Applejack’s shoulder. “But you shouldn’t ever feel the need to lie to me. I value your opinion… even if your opinion is that I’m fat.”
“Yer not fat Rarity!” Applejack quickly covered. “The dress is.”
She giggled. “Yes… I know. I really should’ve put something else on. This whole fiasco has probably made us late.”
Applejack glanced at the clock, which now read a few minutes after seven. Undoubtedly the restaurant would give away their table before they arrived, even if they left right now.
“Yeah… but it’s okay.” She thought for a moment. “Ya know, we can always just grab a bite ta eat at the Hayburger.”
Rarity looked at her. “You wish to spend out three month anniversary eating fast food?” She indicated her absurdly formal outfit. “While I’m dressed like this?”
“Umm… yeah…”
Rarity thought about it for a moment, and smiled. “All right. I suppose it doesn’t matter what we do, as long as we do it together.”
Applejack hopped up from the couch, shortly followed by Rarity. “Great. So come on then, get yer fat flank out the door!” Rarity scowled at her. Cringing, Applejack bit her lip. “What… too soon?”
Without answering, Rarity turned with a harrumph towards the door and began walking.
Applejack ran to catch up with her. “Dangit, Rares, Ah’m sorry!”
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I enjoyed this. Good, cute stuff.
The last part was pretty funny. In fact, it was all pretty funny
Oh, Applejack, never change.
But yeah, this fic was really good. It's a fun little RariJack story with great and believable character interaction between the two. You pretty much nailed it there.
My only nitpick with this story is that you used the word y'all wrong.
Y'all is a plural noun. I'm from the south, and no one here ever really uses it as a singular. The word you're probably looking for in that situation would be 'ya'. It's not that big of a deal, really; it just bugs me whenever I see people use it incorrectly.
5487820
5487824
Thanks.
5487835 Glad you enjoyed it, and I'll fix that error right away.
5487882 I love your avatar pic!
5487944 Thanks, yours looks pretty cool too.
This definitely turned out to be better than I expected. Good job.
5487948 Thanks!
I honestly for some reason thought this would turn out that Applejack dated she liked big butts and she could not lie.
I stopped eating all the fattening stuff weeks ago!
Rarity needs a shower ! A baby shower !
Bow chicka boom boom baby
for a second there I thought I needed to go on a diet
baby fat ?
You are going to eat me !
cake?
cup cakes?
Aw horse apples
cider ?
But you're still getting bigger
If it's not what I'm eating. . .
It's good. I feel like it needs a little bit more to completely resolve an examination of the dynamic between Applejack and Rarity in this situation and really round off the whole picture, though.
5487882
5487835
That's not an error. As someone living in Georgia, and has been all over the South, I can say definitively that we use y'all even when we're speaking about one person in particular. There is no textbook correct way to say it, it is Southern slang, the common lingo. Practically part of the accent. Some people seem to think otherwise around here on FIMFIC for some reason, but you can tell they haven't been in the South very long, or at all.
well apple jack
... your fucked
5489183
Okay, that makes sense. I think I'll just keep it as "ya" though for now, simply because I'm lazy, but I will keep that in mind when I'm writing Applejack's dialogue in the future. Thanks for your help.
I'm surprised no one in the comments has said: "Take it off Rarity, and go naked like you always do."
5489183 Been born and raised in Arkansas all my life, so maybe it's just where I'm from? I've never come across anyone who uses the word as a singular noun. Of course, there are always exceptions.
I've done some research on it before, and there's actually a long-standing debate about the usage of the word y'all. Pretty neat, isn't it? For the the most part, it's generally used as a plural noun, but there are a few times when people use it as a singular. Could be different for some people though. Like I said, there's always a possibility for exceptions. Maybe I'm just weird?
But yeah, I already said this, but it isn't really that big of a deal. It is pretty fun to think about though.
Now here's a quick question: how often does Applejack actually use the word y'all in the show, and when she does, does she use it as a singular noun, plural noun, or both? I honestly don't know. I guess I'll just have to pay closer attention next time I watch an episode and she gets a line.
5489684
Yes! You're weird! Just like the rest of us.
Twas a great story. I loved it! Reminds me of a song who's title escapes my memory... Hm...
I'm afraid I am going to have to ask you to pull over, ma'am. For having an ass that is damn sexy.
Ohhhhhh burn!
In your face RD!
I don't know what to say. This was a really good one shot. Seems like there could be a second chapter about Rainbow Dash telling Rairty she looks fat. But that was pretty great for just one chapter.
And AJ's need to not lie was pretty entertaining. I also loved the way you wrote her acent. It just works.
No constructive critisim since you resolved the problem quickly and got a decent moral out. Plus, it works. They were going to be late for dinner, and needed to hurry up for their..... 3 month anniversary dinner. 3 months? Wouldn't it have been funnier if Rairty messed up their one year anniversary? Oh well whateves.
Overall: Rairty should NOT make her own wedding dress. She'll look chubby. And the others will laugh.
5489684
So many people seem to forget or miss this, but yes, Applejack has used "ya'll" to refer to a single person.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AMPwsX5YB4#t=173
And yes, it is a perfectly acceptable means of address. I mean, as far as a person would accept a Southern accent as "acceptable", that is. You'll note that Rarity is definitely not of this camp, even emphasizing the proper use of "you" instead of "ya'll".
5493043
The writers are Canadian. As far from the south as you can get. And y'all is never proper for singular use (as a southerner myself).
For proofs:
http://www.economist.com/blogs/johnson/2011/09/southern-american-english
[a rather useful blog from a southerner on the use of y'all.]
http://memphis.about.com/od/midsouthliving/qt/yall.htm
[another southern sight for the appropriate use of y'all.]
and
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/760/the-lunaverse/thread/134351/southern-dialect
Actual Southerners alongside myself saying that y'all is plural.
___________
But yeah, Northerners using the Southern Dialect is one thing, but in the written word, especially by people who speak the language can comment. Should not be misused.
Dawwww. Great mix of humor and heartwarming. Besides, Applejack is the one with the massive bottom anyway. It's basically canon since Simple Ways.
Unless it was just the dress making her look fat. Then Rarity's to blame.
Wow. Honestly, you are the best Rarejack shipper writer out there. I can't believe it! This is a amazing piece! Somtin new and no used over and over again. Not only that but something that seems so realistic between happening to those two. This story had great characterazation. Thouh Rarity was just a teensy bit off at the end. But still pretty good! I rate this 8/10 ducks.
5488011
You other ponies can't deny,
s6.postimg.org/dd47s96ap/Pirate_Approved.jpg
That awkward moment when you remember Rarity can do this:
5500210 Is it weird that I watched that video over and over again... I must say it is hilarious.
-ThePortalPonies
I always thought someday someone would make a story like this...
...and you, my good sir / ma'am, are one magnificent bastard for going forth and writing it.
Wonderfully written, classic RariJack, but where is the Romance tag?
5505821
I debated about including it, and decided not to. This fic, while featuring a ship, is really only slice of life. It's meant to be a brief snapshot of Rarity and Applejack's relationship, without really focusing on the romance. This is also why I didn't include a comedy tag, because even though there are jokes, its not a pivotal point of the story in my opinion.
If you honestly feel that there should be a romance tag, I'm not against adding it, I just don't see much point in it.
5500210
5505851 I'd go with the romance tag, not as a means of drawing in, but as a means of filtering out. Some people really want to scrub out all the pony romances when they search for fic, and if it's a major plot element, there's no harm in playing along.
(If they demand a romance tag for 1,000 words out of a 50,000-word story, that's when you bring out the orbital friendship cannon.)
5525850
Makes sense. All right, I'll add it.
There is nothing bigger than Rainbow Dash's ego. It is at least 20% bigger than anything.
Always have to dread that one moment when a girl asks you if the outfit makes them look fat.
Being honest all the time must be a pain at times for AJ
What I do whenever that question comes up:
[youtube=www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktvm7GM1qdU]
I love this story-- It's short, sweet and you nailed Applejack and Rarity's personalities for the most part. My favorite part was the ending
I did a fanfic read of this! This was so much fun to do!
7170907 Seems I can't listen to the reading. Do you mind taking it off private mode?
7182779 No problem. I took it off private mode.
7182940 Awesome, thank you.
And great job on the reading!
7183526 Thanks! What do you like about it?
7183687 Overall I just thought it was a really solid reading. I'm no expert in them or anything so I can't really offer you much in terms of specifics. I just know I enjoyed listening to it.
Everypony for theirselves! *jumps out window to avoid answering the question. ~hugs
I redid my previous reading of your story. Redux Reading