• Member Since 2nd Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen April 11th

Cloud Hop


Twilight buys a toaster. It doesn't work very well. Unfortunately for Rainbow Dash, she happens to be in earshot—and trying to check out a Daring Do book.

Rainbow Dash begins to question her life choices.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 117 )


That was marvelous.
I suggest looking up "Toaster abort button" +"2 the ranting gryphon" on google if you're not adverse to swearing.

She is a pretty purple pony princess from the land of Equestria, a world filled with friendship and rainbows.

huh, I guess she is. But you forgot something, she's also a total badass.:twilightsmile:


Edit: Darn it, someone beat me to it!

Oh no, not again, thought the one on the left.

That would have been better if he turned into a bowl of petunias.

~Skeeter The Lurker


Rainbow Dash's ears pined back, and she wondered if she could just come back tomorrow to get the book.


RD's last line makes this story.

And this is why Twilight needs to either purchase or invent a toaster oven. It's basically just a big happy box lined with heating elements.

Also, I find frog tastier than oranges, but that may just be me.

In any case, I do love a good Twilight freakout, and this was an exemplary one. Thank you for it. :twilightsmile:

I hate to be the one to tell Twilight this, but...

All toasters toast toast.

5188391 But not all toast is toasted equally



It's like that thing of there being ten hot dog buns in the pack, but only eight hot dogs in the tin. You just wanna rip out those two extraneous rolls. :flutterrage:

I think she took it quite well, don't you?

This only fuels my theory that Twilight needs to see a shrink.

5189389 Where I come from, there are eight buns and eight dogs, and all is well.

-Exodia the Forbidden One, we're done here.

Beep boop, son, beeeeep boop.

5190058 one, you rock, io mean seriously, that is the most boss name and profile pic ever

5190267 did scientists from the future research her for years and sent the toaster back in time to annoy her?
also, as the magical mercenary soldier says "Friendship is magic creampuff!"
the toaster cannot be bargained with! it cannot be reasoned with! it does not know where it is! It is toaster! It does not understand anything!

If she can tear sections of reality apart... then why not just expand a toaster by half an inch? :applejackconfused:

I'm sorry, did I just break the story? :ajsmug:

5190471 And worst of all, it doesn't know how to teleport bread!

5189389 8 buns to a bag, 14 dogs to a package, lowest common multiple is 56, 4 packages of dogs for every 7 bags of buns. Why do the extras offend you?

5190471 Thank you.

-Exodia the Forbidden One, we're done here.

Usually there’s some mention of the horn lighting up or a glow surrounding it, a magic surge, etc. With the exception of when Twilight through a lightning bolt at the toaster there doesn’t appear to be any explicit mentioning of what’s causing the phenomena nor any of the usual visual tells that give it away.

Why in the smeg would a toaster need to beep? I don't get it, are they actually making toasters that beep now? I mean if it really bothered you just take it apart and remove the piezo-speaker (I'm guessing that's what they're using) and your problem is solved.

That's not an annoying toaster, that's barely mildly irritating! THIS is an annoying toaster.


Well, you're lucky to live in an enlightened part of the world. :twilightsmile:


Actually the toaster in real life also makes an annoying electrical buzzing sound whenever it's plugged in, as though it's power source is dying or something. It almost sounds like a fire hazard and I refuse to use it for that reason.

But it does beep all the time, yes. It's ridiculous.

I gave up and bought a toaster oven.

5191658 The only reason I can think of as to why it's buzzing would be that there is too much voltage for that particular element. I think they all buzz a little but if it's noticable enough to be annoying, I'd stop using it too.

Dammit rainbow dash just bitch slap her. That'll snap her out of it.

Well . . . That escalated quickly.

Best. Story. EVER.

5/5 mustaches, you deserve it! :twilightsmile:

:moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: / :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache:

Never change Cloudy. I don't think I could take it. :rainbowlaugh:

5191547 Indeed.

-Exodia the Forbidden One, we're done here.


Fun little story. Nice job! Beep!

Funniest ending ever.
It's even funnier if you think of it as Mario's toaster from YouTube Poop.

5188391 btw
Congrats on beating me to the Hotel Mario reference.

i saw the authors note and then I lost it completely.

5189655 When does Twilight not need to see a shrink?

5189015 I disagree. All toasters are created equal, its just that some toasters are more equal than others.

Alternate ending:

Rainbow Dash, who had a penchant for talking before her brain could catch up, saw fit at that moment to say the worst possible thing ever. "...Did you just—"

"Here, Twi." Fortunately, before she could condemn herself, a purple claw offered Twilight a plate with two slices of toast. One was spread with margarine, the other with apple marmalade. Twilight stared uncomprehendingly at her assistant.

"But...I-I didn't hear a...is it a miracle?"

"I toasted them. I'm a dragon. I breath fire. If you really want toast so badly, you can just ask me. I can do it in five seconds. Heck, I do all the cooking around here anyway!"

Twilight gingerly accepted the breakfast in her magic in a sort of detached wonderment. After her brain had finished catching up with the realization that all the morning's grief had been for naught, a warmth came over her, and she smiled at him. "Thank you, Spike. And, sorry I yelled at you, Rainbow Dash."

"Yeah, heh-heh...no problem."

Gratefully, Twilight opened her mouth to take a bite.

Spike smirked. "Beep."

The librarian's head snapped around faster than a rattlesnake with a glare that could have castrated a grown stallion. Spike just patted her on the snout. "Heh, chill out, Twi. C'mon, Rainbow, I'll check out that book for ya."

Well. This story was... interesting. I could only shake my head at Rainbow Dash, because that seems like such a Dash thing to do. Still...

I now want to know what happens with Uldurmün The Feared. I don't even know why.

I don´t like one-shots very much but i always want to give them a chance, so for someone like me who even don´t like one-shots that much it was not bad. I think it would be funny if she woud try to do everything to destroy that toaster and it won´t vanish, but it works this way too. I just think that way because yesterday i get an information i don´t really need. A gameboy handeld, the grey one, survied a war and a few bombs too. It looked very roasted and very demolished, but it still plays Tetris.:pinkiehappy:

.... Woah woah woah, back the f--ck up Princess. What in the good goddamn is wrong with pop tarts? They're freakin' amazing.

or to some unknown realm

There's a space too much after "unknown".

The toaster had been banished to toaster heaven, and it's soul was now lost forever.


Frakking toasters.

I had some free time today so i made a reading :pinkiehappy::eeyup:

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