- Member Since 21st Jul, 2013
- offline last seen 3 hours ago
StormLuna
Princess Luna is the best princess and Nightmare Moon is the best queen.
StormLuna
Joined 21st Jul, 2013 ·
Offline
Sequels1
-
StormLuna · 25k words · 33 13 · 842 views
Featured In69
The Writers' Group56,594 stories ·9,304 members
Dark8,351 stories ·3,769 members
- GrimDark2,452 stories ·2,184 members
Extremely Unsettling539 stories ·493 members
- Insanity36 stories ·68 members
- gore-obsessed maniacs294 stories ·324 members
- Group of Authors who love to have fun and a good time!4,657 stories ·577 members
- All Mature2,248 stories ·650 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.112 seconds
Total duration
770 users online
819,256 hits today, 2,328,677 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
well that was ten tons a trash and a half. insensible premise, unrealistic situations, retarded ending where colgate gets away scott free in a world that has a dozen an ninety things that hunt down outright evil like this.
5015889 Retarded ending? I don't see what is so bad about it. After all, you can't expect the "evil" pony to always pay for the evil they have done. If this were a fairy tale then it would be a "retarded" ending but it is not. Just like in real life, sometimes the "bad guy" wins.
5015974 yeah problem with that is, there is a world with magic of obviously high standard. bon bon going missing would be reported and colgate found out. cause this ia a world of fucking magic! a world of magic with certain forces that actively attack and or repel dark magic. reason why dark thigns cna happen without knowing in our world is because we do not have an ethereal force that is pretty much metaphor given essence that we can use to find out what happened.
also we have the fact that bon bon would have had nightmares. luna is attracted to nightmares. luna would learn what is going on and had colagte eating her own teeth within the hour.
also if you haven't known it, lyra kinda went to the same magic academy as twilight. she would know magic. also she knows how to teleport and likely as skilled as colgate, whose psychotic thing there makes no sense to begin with.
Magic and stupid ponies. Always remember the stupid ponies! THEY'RE ALMOST DORA LEVEL I MEAN COME ON WHY HAVE YOU GOTTA BE SO STUPID I JUST LOVE PONIES BUT THEY'RE SO BUCKING STUPID!!!
5016132 Stupid ponies Arcane? If you think they're stupid then what the hell are you even doing here? A word of advice to you, go troll elsewhere. We have no use for the likes of you.
5016240 Now, what you misunderstood is the I LOVE PONIES bit. I was just making a joke into the shallowness of the story of the canon TV show. It is an ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT TV show and is my favourite of many. However, they are a teeeeeeeennnnsssyyyyyy bit stupid. Sorry if you thought and was a troll and the fact you cannot understand jokes (however terrible they are).
Plus, I wasn't discrediting your fic, or any fics for that matter, I think it's very good and my previous comment had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with your fic and was in fact a reply to lordofmyth's second comment.
5016276 I have to disagree with you on the ponies being stupid. You want stupid ponies, watch G3., then you will see stupid. Regarding jokes, I'm not exactly a joke type person. My sense of humor is darker and a bit morbid.
5016412 In hindsight yeah you're right... Sorry for the bother.
5016480 Hey you're no bother and sorry for flying off the handle earlier. I tend to do that a bit too quickly. Back when the Hub had that mareathon they showed some G3 episodes and good gravy, I barely made it through one episode. Even the G1 episodes I grew up on were far better than G3.
5015998 lordofmyth, Yes in the show Lyra went to the same magic academy as Twilight but this is a fan fiction and things are not always the same as they are in the show. Colgate and Lyra are sisters in my story, they are not in the show. Lyra went to a VOCATIONAL academy here, not a magic academy just as Colgate went to a dental academy in Manehattan. Reading "The Royal Root Canal" provides some of Colgate's history, which is tied into this story. I have not provided any back story as to how they learned their magic because it would not have really fit into this story, and besides, here Colgate is the older sister which is why I had her have more advanced magic.
Twisted. Check. Funny. Check. I like this. :3
5025310 Thanks Endless!
I'm enjoying this too much
Lyra don't get involved
Interesting
.
Fun
.
Oh boy
.
More
.
Tomorrow MORE!!
.
5444315 CreepypastaReader, I have a third one planned for some point in the first half of 2015, with a start date in February most likely.
Lyra laughed, "Well I won't have you strapped in for long."
.
I think you meant Colgate
5451376 I did, thanks for pointing that out so I can fix it.
Time to read the sequel
.
Deus ex Machina infection thing aside, I'm kinda curious as to how far this goes.
Hmmm. I had a hard time getting into this, to be honest. It started off very slow. Lots of hints where it was going, but not much going there, if you see what I mean. (Also the first chapter has some present/past tense problems, which I always find somewhat distracting.) Then when it did get somewhere, it just wandered around in the violence for a long time. Which I'm sure is oodles of fun for people who are primarily into the "torture porn" stuff, but I was more interested in the plot. I ended up skimming a lot in the middle. Then the ending was very sudden, and resolved things really strangely. She doesn't seem to have any remorse whatsoever for what she's done, yet she's so happy to be reformed? Just because she doesn't want to be caught? If that's so, then she really hasn't gone through any actual character development, she's still basically the same pony, and that's a bit odd over a story this long. Usually a long story is a chance for the main character to learn, grow, or change in some way. But she was oral hygiene obsessed and without remorse at the start, and she still seems to be obsessed and without remorse at the end too.
I don't know. I think if you love the torture porn genre, this is probably a good one, but the plot felt too disjointed to really get me interested.
6565047 I couldn't simply have her be reformed or show any remorse at the end because there are sequels to this.
6584067 Yeah, I see your point. On the other hand, making it a worse story so you can make more of it... I dunno. It's your story of course, and it seems that a lot of people like it! But it's just something I wanted to mention, as it's one of the reasons why I ended up deciding I wasn't interested in the sequels.
Wait. Their parents were struck by lightning , and pegasi control the weather, including lighting. This was no accident, people, this was... MURDER
6650303 Odd thing is, when I was writing that I never even thought about it being murder!
I know I should probably walk out now, given what you told me, I should also lock the door on my way, but I'm intrigued... down the piehole I jump!
6650303 I thought ponies were lightning proof... screw fanon, still gonna read more!
You kinda had a large chunk of text near the end, if you ever go over this, that's something you're probably gonna be fixing. Oh, and a question/remark for Colgate: I rarely floss and only brush once a day, sometimes without toothpaste (because I rush many mornings), one of my back molars in my top set has been cavity'd to the gum/shattered by punches to the face, leaving me with a gap in my set. I also have several of my front teath (In-size-ors or something, I can't seem to be able to find the name in my spellcheck) knocked severely out of alignment and I have only been to the dentist twice in my entire twenty years of life.
I, a human with entirely different set of teeth than any other patient anyone on your planet, have just walked into your practice. How horrifying will my re-education be?
(Yes, to my shame, that is a self-description. Have mercy.)
Damn... I'm scared bro, this will probably haunt me more than Cupcakes (Because I know I need to go to the dentist soon, the very impossible possibility will make me want to squirm, AND THAT IS NOT WHAT GOOD PATIENTS DO!)
Damn it, why did I read another chapter before bed?! Oh, and I'm not a carpenter but... a chainsaw... wow, what is that clinic made of, rail-road ties? Most people use a sledgehammer (or their friend and a six pack of beer, "Just run full speed bill, I did the knocking trick, you shouldn't hit any studs").
Okay, this chapter seemed way out of, well, everything! But still bloody, so it has that going for it.
No royal guards, no flying chariot for the FUCKING PRINCESS and a Alicorn that doesn't even know her own biology better than some text-book, especially considering Alicorns would probably get entire sets of text books on their health due to tbeir unique biology. Oh, and Princess Celestia didn't have a funny drug addled dialogue. Those are my issues with this chapter. Now off to bed...
There's a blue unicorn glaring at me through my window... tell my friends I wish I had made more of you!
Death by Den-Ture(DENtist torTURE).
6650303 omg your right we must keep an eye out for the murder
Oh my god i love this stroy even more now i would love it at maxium if she kills twilight
7453536 Twilight isn't killed in this one, that I saved for one of the sequels.
creepy!
6650303
they make rain clouds and thunderstorms, but they cannot perdict where a lighting bolt will stirk
Fluttershy sounds like flutterbitch
random
Why is there a butcher in a town full of herbivores and one cannibal?