• Member Since 11th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen Aug 26th, 2021


"It is beautiful, it is endless, it is full and yet seems empty."


Twilight was looking forward to a nice day alone. Away from princess, and friendship duties alike for at least one day. JUST ONE.

Thanks to one persistent stallion however, she isn't getting that day today.

Based off the Mad TV skit of the same name. Click here to see that.

Night Spark and I had a bet... that I lost. This is the result. I'm so ashamed.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 96 )


What have you done??:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

I haven't watched that skit before, and I read this before I checked it out. Because I was clueless to it, I didn't know how to feel. I must say though, this was brilliant. I wasn't expecting the things to happen that did, and it gave me both a creepy and hilarious vibe. Good job.

4435138 Thank you!:twilightsmile: I'm glad you enjoyed it:heart:

4435178 Hey, Killeroreo! I'm glad you liked it! :rainbowlaugh:

4435184 I'm still gigglin' it was funny, nice Celestia bit at the end too. :rainbowlaugh:

Damn girl u lookin fine with dis story. Can I get ur number?

4435284 Can I have it? Can I have it? Can I have it?

I have the whole shit stuck in my head:pinkiecrazy::rainbowlaugh:

4435289 You made a grown man shed a manly tear and that tear got married and had kid tears.

4435284 Yes. Yes.
I used to love that skit!

4435316 I discovered it recently, and I do it to my girlfriend ALL the time:rainbowlaugh:

4435319 My best friend (who is a straight male, and so am I) and I use this line on each other all the time! :rainbowlaugh::rainbowwild:

4435321 Same with me and Night Spark!:rainbowlaugh:

Now that I think about it... I use this on practically everybody!:rainbowlaugh: and it never dies!:pinkiecrazy:

This is the exact method I use to talk to women.


4435324 Yeah, that's... true. It never does die.
By the way, you've caught my attention, and now I'm going to commence reading.

4435330 I am honored! Your name is one I recognize, and respect! Thank you for reading:twilightsmile:

4435326 I'm sure it works every time, correct?:raritywink:

4435332 Ha, awesome! Thanks.
Do you want me to point out some things you can do better? Not as an insult to you, but I like helping people improve. Especially because I needed a lot of help at first.

4435344 Yeah please do! I am always looking to improve:twilightsmile:

4435346 That's the spirit :moustache:
I'll point some things out when I'm done.

4435351 Sounds like a plan:rainbowdetermined2:

All right, here goes:

With all the recent friendship debacles all over town stressing her, and having to perform various princess duties it was hard for her to find any time off. However today was the day.

Since you used one comma to add something to the chapter, you should put another comma after "duties".

"Fantastic Fiction Finale of Finnick the First"

Since you mention the story name in Twilight's quotation, it would look better if you italicized the book title.

Twilight looked back at her book, and tried to push the thought that some pony was staring at the back of her mane away. All she wanted to do was relax, and read her book.

While, on the other hand, those two commas aren't actually needed because "and" is there.

I would probably write "coltfriend" rather than "boyfriend". It ponifies it better :moustache:

You're into novels that have like action, and romance, and comma's and chapters and such yeah.

No apostrophe needed with "comma's".

Also, you wrote "ok" at times, and "okay" at others. Probably would be best to just write "okay".


All right! I actually had a good, nostalgic laugh. I can fully admit that I never thought this would ever be ponified, but I'm so glad it was, and I'm disappointed I didn't think of it myself...

4435364 Thanks for those pointers! I'm gonna go ahead and make some of those edits, and I'm kinda suprised those were the only things needed:twilightsheepish:

I never thought I'd write this ponified... lol:rainbowlaugh:

4435365 No problem. I'm quite glad you did this.

Does hollering at girls even work? I can't imagine it working.

Daaaaaaaaayum! Poor Celestia

Deep #32 · May 23rd, 2014 · · 1 ·

This might just be your most thematic and thought provoking work yet. After reading this I stared at myself in the mirror and just started crying over how wrong I was about the world before this.

At first I was like :rainbowhuh:

Then I was like,

I remember MadTV! I have like the whole first season on shitty home recorded vhs, at the lowest quality so I could squeeze 6 hours out of one tape. The kids might not know what I'm talking about, but I assure you all, I didn't make up any of those words.

Anyway. This is amazing. Well played.

I can't help but imagine the voice of this stallion being that of David Chapelle's crackhead character.

So many laughs, my sides flew south for the winter.

4435598 I'm telling you... The works of Tidal will affect you in a way you never understood. :coolphoto:

4435795 Lol! I've never seen this one, but it was pretty awesome:rainbowlaugh:

4435921 I have a few tapes as well! I'm glad you enjoyed my silliness:twilightsmile:

4435973 It's probably something like that :rainbowlaugh:

4435451 Not really... but in Equestria? I'm not too sure:rainbowlaugh:

Comment posted by RushingWonder deleted May 23rd, 2014

"I love you," he whispered, licking his lips one last time.

flat line from laughing.

And poor Celestia. She is ether gonna make him appear near Luna or he gets a trip to the moon.

4436444 There is a part of me that is debating doing a bonus chapter of something just like that... I'm not sure yet lol:rainbowlaugh:

What an... interesting choice of a picture.

4436587 Lol... forgive me:rainbowlaugh:

4436608 Lol this silly story. The odd image fits perfectly however:twilightsmile:

I demand a sequel. Preferably where one of the alicorns break him.

4436717 I'm debating either a sequel or a new chapter... hmmmm

4436725 Could do a chapter for each Alicorn. ;)

4436756 I could... my fear would be it getting too repetitive:applejackunsure:

4436761 Mm, I could see that happening. Not sure what you could change to fix such a problem sadly. Only thing I can think of is maybe make each story have a different focus such as him harassing in a different way. Maybe offer to take Celestia to bed or some such. Bleh I got nothin'. Sad day.

4436772 it's ok lol. Odds are I'll do one more chapter. I have an idea for one. I'll mark it as incomplete until then.

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