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Apple Bloom argues with Applejack
Scootaloo fights with Rainbow Dash
Sweetie Belle disagrees with Rarity
After a near-terrible accident the CMC are shut down by those closest to them. They agree that in order to find their special talents, they need to go on their own adventure. On one last crusade.
Written during Season 4.
Special thanks to Lord-Commander for being my editor!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I like this. Good start
Please do go on.
3976165 Thank you
Hope you continue to enjoy it!
3976170 Seeing your name on here is incredibly awesome, I shall continue work on the next chapter asap!
3976177
I shall promote this story in my blog! This needs to be seen!
.
.
.
.
That is all.
3976185
Thank you!!
I'd advise an editor, the grammar was a bit iffy. I'm still favoriting, though, I'm excited to see this crusade!
It seems decent. I don't know why Rarity's parents need to be dead. Also that allcaps section of Sweetie yelling would probably be better served with normal punctuation instead of allcaps.
3976221 Yeah... I'm in need of an editor, I appreciate it! I hope to make it a fun adventure!
3976232 Yeah... I guess I was going for Sweetie's dramaticness
I love the way you wrote this! Unlike other CMC fan fics, this one keeps the ponies in character. you've done a splendid job!
A riveting tail(bad pun)! Bravo!
3976442 You have no idea how much I appreciate that!
Your doing a great job at keeping everyone in character. When I read this I can picture every scene in my head. I'm not a fan of the CMC's at all but this looks very promising. Just some kinks here and there with grammar and such but everything's there. I know you'll fix everything that is brought to your attention. I look foreward to more but still want to hear more of your other story The Spirits of Equestria
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/142975/the-spirits-of-equestria
That one is good too dangit.
I also liked the length of it. I didnt think It was too short or too fast paced at all. It could still be slowed down alittle and still be good, to me anyways.
I liked it and of coarse you know you got my like and fav lol
MOAR
3976512 Thanks for the shout out
I'm glad you like my other work too! The chapters will be slowed down in the future and I look forward to writing more crusader fun!
Ok, I'm in! This adventure sounds like te thing I can really get into and I like the little mistnderstanding in here. All in All, I can't wait to see what's next
Description-wise, I like it before I've even read the one chapter written so far. But tag/category-wise, 'Tragedy' worries me.
I dislike the tragedy tag because it officially is about the ending, and therefore partially gives away the ending. Also, I don't like downer endings.
3976621 I'm glad you enjoyed it! Welcome to the adventure!
3976624 I promise I won't break your heart... no worries
I honestly have nothing bad to say about this fic. Can't wait for the next chapters, liked and faved.
3976165
3976170
Hey I know you guys
Already had hints of Adventure and tragedy in the first chapter! With the desire to not give up, and then having the new clubhouse built to not be enjoyed...... To me those are original values of true tragedy. I am faving this story for reasons of pure enjoyment and desire to learn more!
3977076 Thanks so much!
3977306 I can't wait to continue writing it!
I defiantly like the ideas that you have behind this story and it looks like it has some great potential to be going forward. So upvote from me, but I want to see more before favoriting it. No offense, I just hate removing stories from my favorite box.
I have a tendency to do some freelance editing and proofreading every now and again. I might be able to help you out with that if you are still looking for some editing help, but I've also got college and some other folks I am helping out. You can talk with me in a PM if you'd like and we can figure something out or I can direct you to some people that can help you out with that.
nice work, the part were Diamond tiara and Silver spoon started teasing them was spot on.
3979011 Thanks! I tried to get everyone down the best I could!
3979003 No offence taken! I appreciate the up-vote and expect a PM from me shortly
is Twilight an alicorn in this fic?
3979046 No... Not this time!
here's to your story doing well my friendfc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2014/052/0/e/party_pinkie_by_gray145-d77d5w4.jpg
3979483 Yay! Pinkie Pie FTW!
Thanks
hmm i can't wait for more something tells me they wont get there marks but eh only time can tell....
I liked it continue what you're doing.
3981103 thanks!
3981733 lol somebody is gonna get it! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
I have a feeling this could be an awesome story.
3981810 I hope I continue to entertain
quickmeme.com/img/7f/7fa6b0be9d5614e6e8aa57089f47c718ec462a462188bb1b058a1456cfd02d12.jpg
I have never edited/proofread before, but I would be happy to take that offer!
I was basically born a grammar nazi
3982141 You're hired!
Quick question, would you mind proof reading my other stories too, or will you stick with this one? Either way I appreciate your help!
3982154 I will take a look at them and tell you if I can.
I will do as much red penciling as I can in my spare time.
3982180 yeah no worries take your time, thanks so much and I will tag your name in the descriptions!
3982192 YAY PUBLICITY!
Thank You! >squees<
Btw I fave
3982217 And I thank you for said fav
3982074 Lol yes I love this movie!!
I hope I continue to hold that curiosity for the remainder of this tale!
3982374 Of course, man. I don't fave for no reason.
I surprisingly liked it, which is saying a lot since I'm not really a fan of reading
This story seems to have promise and I'm interested in what's going to happen. I also liked how you started the story with a scene where something is immediately happening instead of just "It was a nice afternoon in Ponyville." You got yourself another viewer and like, but I will have to see more to favorite this. Also, the cover art is awesome!
As for the things I didn't like: There were some typos and punctuation errors in the beginning, and some of the scenes didn't seem to have a POV character as the thoughts and feelings of more than one character were shown (from their viewpoint). But since I'm a content and story >> the writing itself type of guy I really didn't care.
Also, I didn't like the ending where you were like "They would be inspirations to all." I just find endings and lines like that cliché and corny, but that's just me.
3982450 I understand and appreciate your input
The coverart isn't mine... I found it and thought it fit so perfectly!
I'll try and keep the corniness out... but since it's the CMC you never know what will happen!
Lol thanks again!
I can tell this is shaping up to be an epic story. The arguments felt so realistic and you worked in some great exposition as well. Consider yourself favorited.
This is great, everything fits into place for one heck of a story!
3982715
I hope you continue to enjoy!
3982861 I thank you both!
3982869 Looking forward to it!
3982869 I'm sure I will.