• Member Since 23rd Feb, 2013
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This story is a sequel to Fallout: Equestria - False Dawn

''The Equestria you knew and loved is gone''--This tired old phrase needs no reintroduction. Set in the same world as FoE written by Kkat, this story explores another tale that ended in sadness and left so many unanswered questions. When second chances are almost unheard of, one soldier that made the ultimate sacrifice will find himself in a world that moved on without him, seeking an end to his story with absolution. Oaths are sacred and promises must be kept--Even if they don't matter to anyone else but the dead. Also, friendship.

I do not own FoE and I am writing this without permission. Kkat is a great author and I was inspired to write my own story based off her work on FoE.
I also do not own Fallout and am doing this as a work of fiction for no revenue whatsoever.

FoE © Kkat
Fallout © Bethesda
Project Horizons © Somber
MLP © Hasbro
DHX © Themselves...I guess.

Chapters (22)
Comments ( 227 )

Hmm, interesting. The story is certainly written in the way that an amnesiac's mind would work. The whole thing is a bit confusing, but I'm sure it will become clearer later on.

This intro...

I fucking like it.

Ya know... I kinda look forward to reading more of this.

Comment posted by TinkerChromewire deleted Feb 25th, 2013


I'm more than willing to send you previews of chapter 2. It's almost done. I can knock out chapters fast when I have people wanting to see more.

:fluttercry: Oh noes! Not <spoilered>!

Good chapter. Mysteries and shit. :moustache:

I crave for more! :flutterrage:

I mean... I'll patiently wait for the next chapter. :moustache:


Chapter 4 is already in the works. Expect it in a couple days.

Awesome. Damn, I like it. :pinkiehappy: Written good. Good humor. Really intresting characters so far.
One bad thing is what it's taking place century after End of World. Usually it's means: no matter what will happening in story, after 100 years wasteland will be shithole. That's why I do not like when authors goes that way. It's better characters will leave something after them in the end, or it's all be quite pointless. :ajsmug:
Also, cliffhangers like that, looks a little artifical.
Damn good story, comrade. Keep it up. :twilightsmile:


And thankyou for your input! I'll keep delivering the good story line and good characters.

The artificial cliffhanger was purely intentional satire of novels from video games that attempt to do the same thing during the 'big choice' moment in games. Usually when you're playing a game you come to a crossroad where you choice decides to set you on the path of good or evil. In this case it's loyalty or material thinly veiled as something in a moral grey zone.

As for the brown and bloom? I'm working with a more colourful palette and there is beauty found in ruins and their serenity. I've already mocked the idea of everything being ugly by stating in the story ''It is as if some higher power asked themselves how can I make everything not nice ever? And made it so.'' I'm very aware of all the pit falls and grievances that can be committed in shock value or creating a downer atmosphere. I elect to follow in the steps of Fallout 1 and 2 with more Black Humor and tongue in cheek content that juxtaposes against the reality of horror that permeates works that visit a situation a reader can sympathize with.

Now I shall end it there before I give anything away or seem pretentious.

Without violence, but damn awesome! Fuck, I like it. :twilightsmile: Gangrene are sexy! Every story needs sexy mare. :rainbowlaugh: Still.. He is ghoul. Dunno, where it can bring us. :pinkiecrazy:

Baker's Bad... For some reason, I can't help but think 'hmm... this Muffin Cake is a raider, so he probably uses chems. Meth is a drug ('chem')... The mission could have been called Baking Bad.' (Breaking Bad reference. Never seen the show, but, eh.)

Still, good chapter. Very few errors (like, almost none, maybe one or two). Decent 'character development' (I knew there was more to Gangrene than what was presented in the forefront!).

All in all, 9/10. Will read more.

EDIT: And congrats on the 50k word milestone!

Mission name updated as per your suggestion!

Now if you could point out any mistakes I would be eternally grateful.

50 k word milestone, yes! I will continue working hard. Next chapter in seven days or less.

If you have any requests, comments, or suggestions please be sure to let me know. I'm flexible.

Every story needs some sexy cover art. And your's exceeds that greaty.

Great work!

You know what time it is? Time for reviews!

First things first, the premise. To be honest, the premise for this story, is very creative, and has a lot of originality without explicitly going against the canon, as it appears you take every unmentioned thing in the original story, and use it to your advantage. Necro-Net, for example, is a very interesting concept, and I couldn't wait to see more about it. The setting you have, the ideas that you have brought forward in these first few chapters, is more than enough to hook a reader and get them interested. Going from that, the character execution, and the setups you give them, is also very good, and brings forth the possibility of some very real and genuine moments, along with character development. Your pacing is also well done, leaving just enough out to keep the reader guessing where it'll go, and to preserve interest without giving too much away.

However, now we get to the things that you could have done better. For one, the narration. To be blunt, you use a lot of big and/or complex words, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, in many situations, it can outright improve a scene and make it seem more tense and real. However, the constant execution of it, makes the entire thing feel formal, perhaps a bit too formal. One of the main advantages of using the first person POV, is that it opens the door of giving away character traits and the personality of the main character. Yet here, it seems a bit strict, too proper, and honestly, a little stiff. I might be wrong on this, and be the only one seeing it, but the way the narration is executed, coupled with the very big and formal words, make scenes and situations not flow quite right. It makes things seem a bit sluggish, and awkward to envision. Again, I might be wrong, and this might just be how your character sees the world and acts, but it makes for a slightly awkward and stiff read.

There are also the occasional tense issue, but as far as I can see, no grammatical or spelling mistakes, which is always a plus. You seem to have a slight issue with commas, which is understandable, for me, it seems I use them a bit too much. However, they are extremely necessary for a scene to flow right, and here, they're either placed wrong, or there are none at all. Making it seem jumpy overall. Envisioning things, from a readers point of view, is a bit difficult, because the way it's written, you're assuming we already know what it looks like. Or, again, I might be wrong, but I'm not quite sure what is going on, and where they're meant to be. And to convey a final issue, the narration seems to have a slight problem with conveying emotion and thoughts. Which sounds odd, given the context, but prior to things actually happening where we need to assume what he's feeling, we don't have much context, or idea of his inner thoughts. That's the main plus with first person, to convey these with much more ease and grace. Take the latest chapter for example, hunting down Chunky Salsa. Is he afraid? Prideful? Nervous? What makes us understand these emotions, and help us connect to him as a reader?

But back to the positive. It's very clear that you spent a lot of time and effort with the setup, and what will ultimately be a very interesting plot and world for the characters to explore. You have a lot of good setups, including the setting, possibilities, and characters to begin with. This has massive potential, it's only the issues I mentioned above that are dragging it down. While there's many that will be willing to look pass those, and to the concept as a whole, it's not a reason to not try to fix them, and make this even better than what you have at present. There's a very bright future for this fic, regardless, just please take my advice to heart, because fixing this, you could honestly have something great on your hands. Or hooves.



An honest review!
Well, everything I do is for a reason, other than my mistaken use for commas. The main character is rather formal, his education prior to being what he is now was mostly self taught but he was a particular voracious reader.

Necro-net is a rather big thing in the story and I won't give anything away, but the entire story is going to be about past values of old Equestria pressing against the survivalist nature of the wasteland today.

The reason you don't know what the main character feels at first is because to identify with him you must insert yourself. Maybe I failed at execution. However, as I've progressed on work with chapter 5 I have begun adapting and putting more thoughts in his head.

I need another editor at some point. My current editor is very amazing but they cannot catch all my mistakes. I should probably supply less mistakes. Simplifying descriptions is something I'll become more flexible with in chapter 5. I'll take your review to heart and really work on improving the flaws in this story.

And I'm replying to you here because I'm a transparent author! I know I'm far from perfect and I can do nothing but improve from the critique of others. I appreciate your review and I hope to make this a rather engaging story.

This story happens only 100 years after the fallout, allowing me to play with things that might be around before the main storyline of the original fic. Necro-Net will be mentioned more throughout the story as will the black box. At this particular moment the main character has to resolve the problem with the warlord before he can focus on what he is dealing with.

Thank you for your review and I'll study those commas and that narration sluggishness!

Good chapter, comrade! :pinkiehappy: Cover are great! He is ghoul, but he is still handsome.:twilightsheepish: I can't imagine how the fuck he will be able to kill warlord. :pinkiecrazy:
Keep it up. :twilightsmile:

I do not own FoE and I am writing this without permission. Kkat is a great author and I was inspired to write my own story based off her work on FoE.

I also do not own Fallout and am doing this as a work of fiction for no revenue whatsoever.

FoE Copyright Kkat

Fallout Copyright Bethesda

Project Horizons Copyright Somber

I think there needs to be more disclaimers, i'm still unsure as to whether you also own Hasbro, My little pony and DHX media as well.

More disclaimers added, as per request. I hope you continue enjoying my story. I'll be sure to add even more disclaimers as the situation dictates.

2328074 2327053 Yeah... You didn't really need to do that. Employed (or 'Mr Pones', as he's known here) is someone I know. He's a bit of a cynical troll that feeds on the dismay of others. Sorry about that. :twilightoops:


I am not dismayed, nay, I am releasing a chapter today.



Out of curiosity, where do you live (like, country wise). It's almost 10:30 at night here (Minnesota/'Murica!)...:rainbowhuh:


California in the United States.
My story comments is getting filled up with conversation...Which is fine. Yeah. And I'm posting my story AS SOON AS I FINISH CLEAN UP.

2331902 Ah. I see. I live in Minnesota (I think it got up to the 40s today! lol)

It's been over a month since I last updated mine. Hopefully I can get it up by this weekend.

25,000 words for a chapter takes a while to write and edit...

Oh my, Steelgraft... Steel Ranger battering rams *and* nipping Gangrene. I'd be inclined to agree with the subnormal intelligence, especially with regards to Gangrene. :trollestia:

Great chapter, looking forward to more.

I look forward to more too and now back to shining my anti-material rifle

....... why does it end? this stuff is too good dangit. the sarcastic humor in this is hilarious, almost as good as the trouble steelgraft keeps getting into. and gangrene keeps showing new sides to her personaltiy. i love it. honestly not sure which side is more attractive though, the kind careing pony who is sacrificeing most everything for those around her, or the violent crack-shot vulgar chick with the wicked toungue. ...... how does steelgraft go through the mall, find hte vipers, get rejected for help, go track down tubby, kill him, and manage to get the collar taken off in just one day?! and rebel still has to fix those guns.

keep it up. ren hungers for moah! :3

I love it! :yay: Gangrene.. Oh, fuck, she good with children! Hope she will get one somewhere in her life. Absurdly awesome character. That sence of humor is definitly something what I like to see in all fics. :scootangel:
Also. Using trap as melee weapon is just..Stylish as fuck. It's hard to surprise me, but you made. :pinkiehappy:

Please, please tell me steelgraft's bear-trap-to-the-face moment is a Straw Dogs reference...


I'm enjoying your work thoroughly. I especially love the humor in it, and the interesting characters, premise, and so on.

I'm impressed by your use of words already. I shall greatly enjoy this story.

Though, the intro is a little confusing, but I guess that's the point, what with the main character (apparently) being an amnesiac.


I love getting comments! <3
Yeah, sorry, getting killed tends to make you forget everything. He gets better though. Before he gets worse...

And sorry for confusing you! It'll make sense later, I promise!

That was a fairly long chapter. Still awesome, though. A few mistakes here, mainly minor formatting things, but nothing too bad.

One major criticism, though - the names of the two raider-dressed ponies came out of nowhere, without any dialogue of them using the others' names.


You're right, the part where they call each other by name is missing. I'll have to fix that.

Edit: Fixed it up! I hope that reads better now~

2289084 On the note of editors, I'm willing to be one if you need another one.


Oh, a new message! Certainly, I'd love another editor! I prefer to keep in contact with my editors a lot, mostly so they can help me get better and I love writing a lot. My latest updates are going to be the largest yet! I just updated actually...

And already 3 k words into the conclusion of the Blok Party run. I've got a lot of writing to do. The warlord dies by chapter 10!

I am greatly enjoying this fic So very damn much.

Your writing, I must admit, is getting better with every chapter. I found this chapter quite a good read, only a few mistakes here and there, but every author makes mistakes (myself included). I like the characterisations of these 'heroes', especially Gangrene - the tough-as-nails, swift tongued and occasionally vulgar bandit mare with a weakness for kids and a heart of gold. Also, I have to mention this: SteelGraft seems to have Weapon Proficiency (Furniture) and Weapon Proficiency (Bear Trap) :derpytongue2:

Also, a hippogriff. That's a new one on me. Closest thing I've seen in fanfics and Fo:E side stories are zonies (half-ponies, half-zebras). Personally, I question if, with the vast differences between griffon and pony DNA, her existance is even possible but hey, don't let my scientific...ness... deter you. Might even alter my own headcanon after it.

Remind me to draw something based off this fanfic later. Having had a look at the character profiles has certainly helped me understand what these ponies look like (except the kid and half-breed).

I can just see SteelGraft using a table flip to attack someone.


furniture is the most deadly weapon in the wastes! Steelgraft is just creative. Anything and everything's a weapon to him. Just wait til I release the next chapter...I'm glad you're enjoying it and I will continue to improve, and I hope to someday go back and fix previous mistakes as they are found! for some reason, Google Docs doesn't like uploading completely or properly.

As for the Hippogriff and the brat kid, their appearances could have been better explained. I'll be releasing some more art of them soon, hopefully that helps. As for genetics, a gryffin is a mystical creature and is already a hybrid, crossbreeding is a one in thousand shot I figure, so Keena's existence is a rare oddity. As with all inter-species hybrids, she's sterile.

Gangrene is my favorite character of the bunch aside from Steelgraft, and she will always be a party member up until her conclusion...

the story's doing good so far!:pinkiehappy: Continue onwards!

Congrats on the 500 story views! (mine hasn't even gotten that! :P)

Haven't finished reading the chapter, but as I was reading the scene at Donuts Extreme (which was awesome!), I was listening to Ultimate Swagbot. And due to the playlist I had it in... this played next.

I lol'd. I lol'd it hard.


Donuts Extreme! Where the donuts meet the extreme!
Thank you for the congratulations! I have been working hard and I'll continue to work hard! I hope to get the next chapter up soon.

What did you like about this chapter, my friend? I'd love to hear what you thought!

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