Yes, We Have Hay Fries to go With That Shake
“Hay-oh, welcome to Hayburger,” Rarity said through a strained smile. “May I take your order?”
It wasn’t that the off-blue smock used for a uniform clashed with her coat, exactly. It wasn’t that the hairnet was ruffling, mangling, and otherwise destroying her perfect curl. It wasn’t that she was spending her days getting blamed for one pickle too many, one hay-fry short, and two bits extra one way or the other.
No, it was more an issue of all the little problems grouping together and assaulting her with the force of one big problem. That problem being her employment in the Ponyville branch of Hayburger.
And then there’s this idiot, she thought
Caramel had been in line for a good ten minutes while the “fast food” restaurant prepared hayburgers for the twenty-or-so ponies in front of him. He had a clear view of the glowing, magical menu the entire time, floating as it was over the heads of the teeming masses. So of course, of course, of course he would wait until he was at the register to decide what to order.
A glance over his shoulder told Rarity that the customers behind him were already starting to get annoyed. An angry mob was only seconds away.
“Perhaps you would enjoy today’s special?” Rarity piped up. “Buy two hayburgers and get the third free?”
“No, thank you”—he was a polite idiot, at least—“I want something with a little less catsup.”
Rarity ignored that the tomato-based condiment they served was spelled “ketchup.” Gorgon Foods was their supplier, after all. “You could order it without the ketchup. Or perhaps you’d like a fish sandwich? Maybe just whittle the day away with a tasty parfait?”
She winced as the ad jingle tumbled unpremeditated from her mouth. The Idiot Formerly Known as Caramel didn’t seem to notice. “Naw, naw… Hay, hay! I know.”
Rarity leaned forwards, hope gripping her heart. “Yes?”
“I’d like to order a Gargantuan.”
Rarity’s ears flopped down. “I’m sorry, we don’t sell those.”
The idiot tilted his head, and Rarity could almost hear the brains sloshing around within.
“Those are the registered trademark of our competitor, Burger Prince,” she said.
The idiot blinked, obviously bringing the full charge of his neural electrons to bear. “Oh. Oh! Oh, this is embarrassing.”
Indeed, Rarity thought. “So, what amongst our menu would suit your fancy?”
“Huh?”
“May I take your order?” Rarity repeated in not so many words.
“Oh. No, thanks.” The idiot looked surreptitiously out the window towards another fast food restaurant. “I just remembered that I had to go… somewhere.”
He left in a flash that was perhaps five minutes too long in coming. Maybe six, if Rarity had her way with things. It might have been funny if it wasn’t so impossibly stupid.
Rarity bit back a sigh as the next customer, a pinkish mare, strode forward to take her place in line. “Hay-oh, welcome to Hayburger. May I take your order?”
The mare said nothing for a moment, content as she was to grin at Rarity. Her smile stretched from ear-to-ear, and nearly from chin-to-nose. It isn’t grotesque, Rarity told herself, so much as it is merely uncanny.
“Hello!” the mare said at last. “How are you doing?”
“I am happily employed at Hayburger,” Rarity said with the air of a private joke that only she was in on. “How may I suit your fancy?”
“Well, I’m sorta new in town…” The mare laid her head in her hooves. “I was wondering if you knew any good places to eat around here.”
Rarity blinked. “Well, we are in a Hayburger…”
“Oh, wow! What a coincidence!” the mare exclaimed. Her curly, pink mane bobbed as she did a few little hops. “This is like exactly where I wanted to go!”
Rarity blinked again. “Yes, what an amazing coincidence that you ended up here while looking for somewhere to eat.”
The mare shook her head. “No, silly! I was looking for somepony to ask where I could find someplace to eat!”
“That seems a bit”—Rarity searched for an applicable word—“roundabout. Excessive, perhaps?”
“Pfft.” That grin returned, the one that Rarity still told herself was merely uncanny, not grotesque. “Well, sure, if my point was just getting food.”
How could the mare even talk with teeth that shiny? Surely the sparkles would burn her lips. Perhaps she used the sun’s reflection to startle large predators. “But don’t you want food?”
“Uh huh!” The mare’s smile diminished enough to let her blue eyes open. “I’ll have a number two with extra pickles, please!”
The cash register cha-chinged in its merry little way. Rarity hovered a little slip of paper over her shoulder and impaled it with no small amount of satisfaction atop the rest of the day’s orders. “Your order should be up in a few moments. Have a nice day.”
The mare gasped. “Aw, thank you! That’s such a sweet thing to say!”
Rarity tilted her head to the side and lowered one ear. “Dear, the customers behind you…”
The pinkish one turned her head to look over her shoulder. “Oh. Oh! Here, ma’am, it’s your turn!”
Cheerilee walked up to the counter with a nervous smile that extended to the rest of her body language. She glanced at the pink mare repeatedly, only bringing her eyes to the menu occasionally.
The pink mare waved a goodbye as she walked to the side. “Thanks, Rarity! See you later!”
Rarity choked on her own surprise. “How did you know my—?”
“Your name tag, silly!”
Rarity looked down at her chest. Sure enough, there lay the name tag more often used to write reports about her than to greet her. She regarded it long enough for Cheerilee to cough hesitantly into her hoof. “Sorry. Hay-oh, welcome to Hayburger. May I take your order?”
Rarity threw a coat over her shoulders. It was a purple overcoat, finely stitched, ready to face any number of oddball weather patterns. They really ought to hire a pegasus weather team, she thought.
She clocked out quite happily, after her long and slightly-odd shift. That new mare added a great deal of color that had nothing to do with her bouncy mane.
“Ketchup and mustard on a carrot dog!?” she had exclaimed to one customer. “That’s so unique! I gotta try it!”
Or maybe it had everything to do with her bouncy mane. Who could tell, really?
“Rarity!” the manager shouted. “That last order was supposed to be supersized! You charged for a medium!”
Ah, the usual Mistake of the Day, Rarity mused. Punctual as always.
She turned and beheld the manager, one Fran Fry. Fran hefted a cast-iron skillet that Rarity was certain had never been used in a fast-food restaurant. “I can’t just keep ignoring these mistakes, Rarity. We got a business to run.”
“I understand, Fran.” Rarity sighed as she buttoned her coat. “I’m sorry. I’ll try to catch myself next time.”
“I hope so,” Fran Fry said. She turned back to a fryer and monitored the cooking produce. “You’re a good kid, Rarity. I’m just not sure you’re cut out for this sorta work.”
Rarity sniffed and raised her collar. She didn’t really think popped collars were all the rage, despite what certain colts wore as their default. Her decision was based on the heavy downpour that was certain to ruffle her fur and terrorize her mane. Such was the way of life in Ponyville.
“I’ve got to get away from here,” she muttered.
With her mind not on where she was walking, she splashed through a shallow puddle. She fumed mildly as the water soaked her underbelly. She stomped away, careful to avoid any additional pools of water collecting in the streets.
Her ears perked up at the sound of a vaguely-familiar voice. “Rarity! Hay, Rarity!” She didn’t quite know the voice, but it clearly knew her.
She should have been unsurprised to see the pink mare from before barreling up to her. As it was, the solved mystery only merited the raising of a single eyebrow. More surprising was that the mare remembered her name.
“Oh, hello,” Rarity said. “Are you enjoying your time in Ponyville?”
“I love it here!” came the reply. “So many new sights, sounds, smells!” She sniffed the air, no doubt inhaling a few drops of rain. “And ponies! New ponies! It’s like a dream come true!”
Rarity smirked. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard Ponyville described as such. So you’re not from around here?”
“Nopey, nope, nope!” the mare said. “I come from Boulderdam, the rock farming community further south! Ever heard of it?”
“I’m afraid the name ‘Boulderdam’ escapes me.”
The mare grinned that not-grotesque-just-uncanny smile. “That’s fine. I’d never heard about Ponyville until I walked right into the town square! I just got this itchy feeling that I wanted to stop here, you know?”
Rarity figured that merited a raising of both eyebrows. “So you’re a traveler?”
“Weeeelll…” The pink mare made the word sound as though it had five syllables, rather than just one. “More of a searcher. Is ‘searcher’ a word? It should be if it’s not.”
Rarity’s muzzle scrunched up. “I think it’s a verb, Miss…”
The mare’s mouth opened wide in a gasp. “Ack! I’m sorry, I’m so rude! I forgot to introduce myself!”
She held one hoof over her heart and the other out to Rarity. “My name’s Pinkamena Diane Pie. But everypony just calls me Pinkie.”
Rarity tilted her head as she watched Pinkie balance on her rear two legs. She met Pinkamena’s hoof with a bump and nodded. “Charmed.”
Rarity started to walk again, and Pinkie clomped by her side. Pinkie waved to everypony they passed, and some scant few waved back. She never stopped smiling, either.
“You seem rather chipper.” Rarity shook off a bit of rainwater that had collected in the small of her back. “Special occasion?”
“It’s whole new world out here!” Pinkie asked. “What could be more special than visiting Ponyville?”
A rattlesnake ambush? A centaur insurrection? An angry mob of breezies? Rarity smirked. “I haven’t the foggiest.”
“Exactly!” Pinkie smiled at a passerby. “Hi, there!”
The pony stopped, looked up from their newspaper, gave a half-hearted smile in response, and then trotted away at double-time.
“If I didn’t know better,” Rarity said, “I’d say you were trying to say ‘hello’ to everypony in town.”
“Well, yeah.” Pinkie shrugged. “Why not?”
“For starters, darling, there’s about two hundred ponies living in Ponyville.” Rarity bit back a sigh, certain that disappointment was about to set in on Pinkie’s features.
Pinkie’s jaw dropped. “That many? In this little town?”
Rarity nodded, putting what she hoped was an understanding sort of smile on her face.
“That’s—” Pinkie beamed, beamed, beamed. “This is gonna be even more awesome than I thought!”
Rarity’s understanding sort of smile dipped down in what was clearly misunderstanding. “Huh?”
“Well, think about it,” Pinkie said. “Every single one of those ponies is potentially my new best friend!” She tapped her chin. “Saaay… I might be having my first conversation with one of my new best friends right now! Wouldn’t that be awesome?”
“Truly,” Rarity said as she backed away, “that would be of the utmost delight.” She checked behind her for obstacles, her damp mane drooping over her right eye. “I’m afraid I must be on my way, I’m afraid.”
Pinkie giggled. “You said ‘I’m afraid’ twice.”
“Oh, but I am!” Rarity placed a hoof over her heart and mentally held the other one behind her back. “Saddened, really. Most regretful. Perhaps we shall see each other again before you leave town?”
Pinkie paused in her constant little hop. “Huh. I guess I will have to leave sooner or later.” Her eyebrows lowered in deep thought.
Escape! Rarity’s mind pleaded. “Well, good luck with your searchering and such. I’ll be off.”
Rarity couldn’t help but notice that Pinkie kept waving all the way until she disappeared behind the street corner. She pulled her collar tighter around her neck and sent a glare up at the sky. She brought her gaze back to the fore, and found herself face to face with a grin that was slowly leaving the realm of uncanny and inching its way into grotesque.
“Hi!” Pinkie said.
Rarity let out a ladylike scream and tumbled onto her rump.
Pinkie’s hooves went to her mouth. “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry for scaring you!” She reached out to help Rarity up. “I just totally remembered a question I was gonna ask you and I didn’t know if I was ever going to see you again!”
Rarity gritted her teeth. “And that might be?”
“Your coat!” Pinkie said. She took a sleeve and petted it. “It’s so pretty! Where’d you get it?”
Rarity’s heated blush disappeared as a touch of pride took hold. “I made it myself, actually.”
Pinkie Pie’s mouth popped open. “Whoa! You’re super talented!” A slightly subtler smile than her usual fare (meaning it was only just short of beaming) tickled her cheeks. “My sister Maud would love this.”
“I hope to eventually open a clothes-designing business.” Rarity pouted as she looked down Ponyville’s damp streets. “At least, once I move someplace where ponies actually wear clothes.”
“That’s a great dream!” Pinkie laughed. “What’re you gonna name it?”
Rarity drew her head back a bit. “Huh. I don’t think I’ve really thought of it. I suppose something simple, yet evocative. Something like ‘Rarity’s Boutique.’”
She shrugged and pulled a lock of her mane out of her face. “But again, I must be going. Farewell, Pinkamena.”
“See yah, Rarity!” Pinkie replayed their earlier farewell by violently shaking her foreleg in the air. “Good luck with your clothes!”
Rarity gave her a wry smile as she trotted away. “Hmm. She certainly wears her heart on her sleeves. In a manner of speaking.” A drop hit her squarely on the nose. “Hats! I shall move to perfect my creation of hats next. Wide-brimmed.”
She blinked and placed a hoof on her forehead. Now that pony’s gotten me talking to myself. Brilliant.
She came to a house at the edge of town. It was a short, square little house with maybe a single room in the second story. Two if you counted the attic space beside it. Rarity pushed the door open and sniffed the smell of fresh bread.
“Oh good, you’re home,” her mother said. “Could you keep the baby occupied while I get the bread out of the oven? Thanks a bunch, hon.”
Rarity sighed as she stepped carefully over a pile of discarded teething toys. “And where is the little darling today?”
Rarity’s mom waved a hoof. “Over here in the living room. You won’t need to do much; she’s listening to the radio.”
Chewing on the radio, more like it, Rarity thought. The tiny form of Sweetie Belle had managed to totter her way up to the device and was sucking the living daylights out of the volume control. “Oh, don’t electrocute yourself, darling! Come away from the—”
At the sound of Rarity’s voice, Sweetie pulled herself away from the knob and squeed, a ginormous smile on her pudgy little face. She trotted/wobbled up to her big sister and wrapped her hooves around her foreleg.
Rarity blanched as the general stickiness of the toddler generation attempted to attach itself to her coat. “Eeach. Are you ever not sticky?”
“Sucker!” Sweetie Belle proudly declared. “Sucker! Yummy!”
Rarity sighed and patted Sweetie on the head. “Yes. Yummy sucker. Such a delight.”
“Dwight!” Sweetie giggled. She pulled away from her sister and trotted/wobbled away. A section of Rarity’s sleeve attempted to follow the stickiness, but was held back by an expert stitch.
Rarity gagged. “I suppose that’ll wash out. Eventually.”
“Vinchyee!” said Sweetie Belle.
Her mother walked into the room and gathered Sweetie Belle up. “So, how was work?”
“The usual,” Rarity muttered. “If you’ll excuse me, I really must get cleaned up.”
“’Kay, hon.” Rarity’s mom frowned. “Sure you don’t wanna talk about—”
“I’d rather not.” Rarity cantered up the staircase, up to her room on the second floor. She draped her coat on the single mannequin in her possession and stood in front of the mirror. The next hour was spent grooming her damp mane and body, and reapplying a little lipstick. Just to be the least bit presentable.
She heard her father enter the house, and the call to supper came a moment later. The faint smell of cod floated off of his coat as she embraced him; it had been a good day of fishing. She resisted the urge to dunk herself in a tubful of scented soaps.
Supper was quiet that night. Rarity’s tail tingled with unspoken dialogue, and a very real sense of nervousness itched at the back of her head.
“Hon,” her dad said, shattering the silence, “yer mom and I were talkin’…”
Rarity lowered her fork. She pursed her lips.
“We wanna help you get a place to stay in Manehatten.”
Rarity’s eyes widened. “No.”
“We—we can’t give yah much, what with the baby,” her dad continued, “but we know how important this is to—”
“No. I shall hear no more of it!” Rarity said. “You have been more than generous in paying my way through school.”
Rarity’s mom interrupted, “Honey, we just want to help—”
“I can do it myself!” Rarity snapped. She winced, bit her lip, and took a deep breath in. “I can do it. I just need to work a little longer at Hayburger. I’m nearly half-way there, after all.”
Her parents shared a look. “If you’re sure,” her mother started.
“Yes.” Rarity nodded. “I am adamant.”
The supper continued quietly, save for Sweetie Belle’s single outburst: “Dament!”
“Hay-oh, welcome to Hay— Oh. Hello, Pinkie Pie.”
“Wowzers!” Pinkie pronked in front of the counter. “What are the odds we’d meet at the exact same place two days in a row?”
“It is as though some great cosmic force is drawing us together in an arcane prank.” Rarity rolled her eyes. “Really, though. I work here.”
Pinkie snorted. “Well, duh. That explains the hat.”
Rarity looked up at the offensive off-blue something. “It would. May I take your order?”
Pinkie tilted her head, a silly smile on her face. “Actually, I was gonna ask you if you knew someplace I could get a bite to eat. Your suggestion yesterday was so good!”
Rarity cocked a lip in the faintest hint of a sneer. “I work at Hayburger. Do you really think I’m going to send you someplace else?”
Pinkie shrugged. “I dunno. This town is full of surprises.” She looked to the left and right and whispered conspiratorially. “Did you know that the house in the square that looks like a cupcake has bakers living inside!? It’s sooo genius!”
“Yes, the Cakes are very nice ponies. Very clever.” Rarity moaned. But those doughnuts go right to the hips…
“So I guess number one is today’s menu item of choice,” Pinkie said. “Can I get that in small, please?”
“As you command, my liege,” Rarity muttered under her breath. Another order was stabbed atop its brethren. “Have a nice day.”
“You too, Rarity!” Pinkie said. She sashayed to the side, opening the way for the stallion behind her.
The stallion appeared to be writing vigorously in a notebook. Rarity plastered a smile onto her face. “Hay-oh, welcome to—”
“Just a coffee,” the stallion said. “And fries”
“Hay fries or potato?” Rarity asked. She waited a full twenty seconds. “Sir?”
“Can you hurry up with that?” he asked, not looking up from his notepad.
“I need to know what sort of fries you want,” Rarity said, her smile dissipating. “And what size coffee.”
“Just whatever.” The stallion scribbled harder, causing his pencil to snap. “Horsefeathers!”
Taking a little bit of a Stalliongrad Roulette-style chance, she tapped a couple of choices into the register. She figured that mediums were a nice, aheh, happy medium.
Her hoof slipped, upping the order to supersized. The hair on her back bristled, but she kept her face calm. “Will supersize be alright, sir?”
“What?” He looked up from chewing his pencil down to a point. “No, I don’t want a supersize!”
“Well…” Rarity took a step away from the register. “It’s just, you didn’t specify—”
“So I immediately want the biggest size? Is that the kinda racket you got going here?” The blue stallion snorted, the tip of the pencil held tight in his mouth. “Just get me my stupid coffee and my crummy fries!”
Rarity’s mouth opened without her direct intervention. “Well, maybe if you tried to be a gentlecolt about this, we could do it a lot faster!”
A presence hovered in behind Rarity. Every hair on her body prickled. The blue stallion snorted steam before he turned an accusatory eye to the pony behind her.
Rarity let out a tiny sound of defeat.
“Scooter, can you take over for Rarity?” Fran Fry asked an orange colt. The pony nodded and stepped up to the register. “Rarity, could you come with me, please?”
Rarity’s hoofsteps came slow and quiet as she followed her manager back to the office. It was a tiny office, one more suited to standing than sitting. It was also far more often used as a janitorial closet. Ergo, Rarity didn’t dare take the offered chair.
“Rarity…” Fran hesitated. “I’m sorry.” She held a hoof beside her eyes. “I’ve had it up to here”—she lowered it to her neck—“and the limit was down here. I can’t do anything else for you.”
“H-hold on, now!” Rarity raised a hoof. “I’m to be fired for an outburst—!”
“And a hundred math mistakes. And a hundred wrong orders. And a hundred and one unsatisfied customers.” Fran Fry rubbed at her temples. “You know this has been coming for a long time.”
“No! No, no, no, no.” Rarity gripped at her mane as her breaths became quick and shallow. “No, I need this job!”
Fran lifted an eyebrow. “Come on, Rarity. A clever kid like you will do—”
“I can’t j-just—” Rarity clenched her mouth shut. She removed her uniform with a sparkle of magic and laid it before Fran Fry. “Will there be anything else?”
“Rarity, I’ll—” Fran sighed. “I’d be glad to be your reference. Just try and find a job that doesn’t require so many numbers.”
Rarity gave a terse nod and walked quickly out of the restaurant. She didn’t stop walking quickly until she reached the park. She sat beside a small pond, which had the audacity to plink happily in the rain. She desperately ignored the growing tightness in her chest, but it insisted on getting its due attention.
She choked as her tears added a salty flavor to the rain. She hiccupped as sobs sprung unbidden from her throat. “I c-can’t— I can’t live here anymore!”
The last hiccup caught in her mouth as a small voice drifted to her ears. “Rarity?”
Rarity wiped a hoof over her face and turned. Pinkie Pie stood a short distance away, a frown on her face and a coat draped across her back. She took the purple coat and spread it across Rarity’s shoulders.
Pinkie sat to the side. “You forgot your coat. It’s kinda chilly today.”
“Yes. Yes it is.” Rarity glanced at Pinkie for a millisecond before turning back to the pond. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Pinkie plopped a hoof into the pond and paddled. She kicked up a few dozen ripples before continuing. “Are you gonna be okay?”
Rarity huffed. “I had one job. One Job! ‘Mind the register.’”
“H-hay…” Pinkie hesitantly placed a hoof on Rarity’s shoulder. “Hay, everything’s gonna turn out alright, right?”
“No, Pinkie Pie!” Rarity stood, and the coat fell down her back. “No, it is not going to be alright! It cannot be all sunshine and sprinkles! I cannot simply conjure up a happy solution! I have lost my job and I am further away from my ‘dream,’ as you call it, than ever!”
Rarity reared over Pinkie and ground her teeth. “In what sort of pixie-dust fairy land does this turn out alright!?”
Pinkie’s lips trembled. “Well… um…” She gave a half-hearted grin. “Maybe you could look at the bright side?”
“Oh, yes! Of course!” Rarity bopped the side of her head. “Why didn’t I think of that? No matter that I just lost the best job I could get a hold of in all of Ponyville! Let’s look for the bright side!” She stared hard at Pinkie for a long moment. “Well!?”
Pinkie Pie tapped her hooves together. “Well, for one thing, Noteworthy isn’t always that mean.” She shrugged. “I think he was just having a bad day.”
Rarity snorted water out of her snout. “Pinkie, perhaps it’s time you were acquainted with the cold, hard realities of the world, because it’s clear you know nothing about them.”
Pinkie stared at the ground. “Y-you’re right. I don’t know much about the world.” She looked at Rarity. “But… I know a thing or two about rocks. The world is kinda like one big rock, right?”
She shuffled from side to side. “My family’s kinda like rocks. Maud, she’s pretty cold. She doesn’t really smile or anything. But she’s not hard, she’s soft.” She licked her lips. “She always tries to show that she really does love me. And she plays with me, and she makes rock candy with me…”
She let out a small laugh. “My dad… he’s hard. Stubborn, no-nonsense, a little strict.” She shrugged, a lopsided smile tugging at her mouth. “But he’s not cold, he’s warm. I can see his eyes sparkle when he smiles. He always laughs with me, and listens to my jokes, and sneaks me goodies.”
She smiled a smile that was not quite happy, but joyful. “Even my family, my family of rock farmers, who spend all their time around rocks, aren’t like rocks.” She chuckled. “Just because we live on a big rock, doesn’t mean we have to be cold and hard, too.”
Rarity picked her coat up off of the path. It trailed tiny streams of water. “Well, what good does it do to not be cold and hard? Why not be prepared for all these hardships? What good does it do to be so… so chipper?”
Pinkie bit her lower lip. She closed her eyes and let the rain flow through her curls. “Rarity, I’d like to coalition a dress.”
Rarity moved to speak, but was brought up short by her own question. “Coalition?”
Pinkie nodded. “Yeah. Like, I want you to make a dress for me. So I can buy it. With money.”
Rarity’s eyebrows dipped. “Commission. You want to commission a dress.”
“From you.”
“I…” Rarity shook her head. “No. I can’t. I haven’t the materials—”
Pinkie didn’t miss a beat. “I’ll pay up front.”
“W-well…” Rarity turned her eyes to the ground. “Wh-why do you want a dress?”
Pinkie shrugged. “’Cuz I don’t got one.”
“That isn’t the least bit grammatically—” Rarity shook her head. “Never mind. You really want a dress?”
Pinkie drew an imaginary “X” across her chest. “Cross my heart.” She fluttered her hooves. “Hope to fly.” She poked her own (closed) eye. “Stick a cupcake in my eye.”
She dipped her head down with a smile at Rarity’s perplexed look. “It’s a really big promise.”
Rarity took in a deep breath. “Very well. Let us retire to someplace less damp so that we may sort this out.”
Rarity clutched two pins in her mouth as she held down the tide of fabric that threatened to avalanche down her mannequin. Two inserted bits of metal later, the dress was ready to be sewn. Again. Or Further.
A knock at her door drew a swift sigh. “Come in, mother.”
The door creaked open, admitting the pink mare. “I just wanted to see how you were doin’.”
“Fine.” A sewing needle threaded its way through the fabric. “I should soon be done with… with my first commission.”
“Hay, that’s pretty cool,” her mom said. “Maybe you can earn enough to go to Man—”
“Stop.” Rarity didn’t look up as the dress took shape. “I would need to craft a hundred dresses to be able to move to Manehatten with the supplies I need. It would have taken years at Hayburger as it was.”
Rarity’s mother tapped a hoof. “Even if we helped?”
Rarity ran a hoof over her foreleg. “Mom… You’ve done more than enough. You’ve paid for my school, and I would never have been able to do that on my own. It’s time your investment in me started—”
“Hay.” Her mother brought her hoof under Rarity’s chin. “We invested in your future. So that you could get the benefits.”
Rarity’s lips trembled. “B-but why!?”
Her mom wrapped her forelegs around her. “Because we love you. Because we know that you’re gonna to be so successful, and so amazingly, mind-blowingly awesome, that ponies are gonna fall over themselves just gettin’ to you. All you need is a little help gettin’ up that first step.”
Rarity sniffled. “Hard to get up that first step when your legs have been knocked out from under you.”
“That’s why we gotta help each other up.” Her mom nodded to the dress. “Like your Pinkie friend.”
Rarity’s mom walked out the door. “I’ll have supper ready in a couple minutes.”
“Okay, I—” Rarity gave the dress a double-take. “She helped me up.”
She reached out her hoof until she was almost touching the hem. “But… She just met me. This doesn’t make… any sense.”
Rarity leaned back, a tiny laugh leaping out of her throat. “Of course it doesn’t make sense. Look who I’m talking about!” She blinked. And I’m talking with myself again. Spectacular.
“Oh my gosh, it’s gorgeous!” Pinkie said as she spun around. She had the appearance of a dog chasing its tail.
“It might be easier to see if you looked in the mirror, darling.” Rarity pointed to the sticky little thing hanging on the bathroom door. “Then again…”
“Come on!” Pinkie took Rarity’s hoof. “I got something to show you!”
“Wha—?” Rarity found herself bodily moved towards the door. “Don’t go outside! It’s still raining!”
“Naw, it’s just drizzling.” Pinkie removed the dress with a single, smooth motion and stuffed it in a nearby box. “What? Did you really think I was gonna get this thing wet? Not a chance!”
Well that’s a— Rarity’s thoughts were interrupted as she all but flew through the town’s streets, a kite on the end of Pinkie’s string.
“So I did some asking around,” Pinkie Pie said, “and I think I know something you don’t know.”
Rarity’s hoof splashed in an unforeseen puddle. “What might that be?”
“I’m not left-hooved.” Pinkie grinned. “But besides that, the Cakes are looking to expand their business. They’re moving to a new building and hiring a new worker.”
“I… appreciate the effort, but I’m not much of a baker.”
“Nope!” Pinkie grinned. “But I am!”
Rarity rolled her eyes. “Congratulations, then.”
“But!” Pinkie shouted. “But, but, but! They can’t move until they sell their old bakery!”
They skidded to a halt beside one of Ponyville’s more curious buildings. It was round, with ruffled walls and a pointed top. A handy “for sale” sign hung in the window.
Rarity felt something catch in her throat. “Pinkie, I don’t think—”
“Soooo, I thought ‘Maybe Rarity could buy this place and open her new business!’” Pinkie held her forelegs akimbo. “I mean, I think you probably, maybe have enough saved up. Between working at Hayburger and my contusion dress, that’ll be plenty of bits!”
“Commission.” Rarity looked over the giant cupcake, her eyes taking in the minutest of details. “It’s no Manehatten loft. Do you—” She looked at Pinkie. “Do you know why I want to go to Manehatten?”
Pinkie smiled. “Bright lights, big city, Bigger Apple?”
“Because ponies wear clothes all the time.” Rarity clenched her jaw tight. “Ponyville’s a rather… threadbare town.”
“Know what we call that back in Boulderdam?” Pinkie gave a cheeky grin. “‘No competition.’”
Rarity sighed. She took a seat before the giant cupcake and glowered at it. “I call it ‘no market.’”
Pinkie sat beside her. “Hay.”
Rarity turned her head.
“You wanna create amazing clothes, right?” Pinkie asked. “You can’t really find any other work, right?”
Rarity snorted. “This is hardly living my dream.”
“Sometimes, you gotta start your dreams out small.” Pinkie slowly raised her hoof into the air. “And let it grow. Let it grow huge! Like, bigger than you thought possible!”
Rarity watched the hoof continue to rise until Pinkie was standing on the tips of her rear hooves. “Did your itchy feeling tell you that, too?”
Pinkie shook her head. “Nah. This was more ‘ear flop, eye twitch, hoof tap.’”
Rarity held back a small smile. “That’s nonsense.”
“It’s Pinkie Sense,” Pinkie giggled. “So, what do you say? You wanna take the first step on a brave new journey?”
Rarity brushed a stray curl out of her eyes. “Did… Did you say that you were going to work for the Cakes? What about your”—she smiled a smile most wry—“your ‘searchering?’”
Rarity’s pupils grew small. “You spent all your travelling money on the dress, didn’t you?”
“No!” Pinkie shook her head in a pink blur. “Not all of it.” She shrugged. “Just the part you needed.”
“But-but, Pinkie, how could you—”
“I found what I was searchering for.” Pinkie smiled, and it was far more uncanny than grotesque. “It’s Ponyville. I’m sure of that.” She booped Rarity on the nose. “More importantly, it’s the ponies in Ponyville.”
“What did you find?” Rarity asked.
Pinkie danced on her hooves. “I found ponies who need to smile.”
Rain beat against Carousel Boutique’s window as Rarity hung the “open” sign. She walked around the shop, gazing in awe at the production of just a couple of months. Three mannequins sat against the wall, rolls of fabric peeked out of shelves, and a full-length mirror made the whole thing look that much larger.
“Ads in the paper,” Rarity mumbled under her breath. “Word of mouth spreading. All I need to do is wait.”
“Yeah,” Pinkie said. “Waiting’s always the hard part.”
Rarity was about to make some comment or another when Pinkie added another two bits. “But then you get to yell ‘Surprise!’ and it’s all worth it.”
Rarity laughed. “Oh, I’d say that’s true enough, Pinkie.” She sat down beside a tray carrying a tea set. “Still, with such a business as mine, I’d hardly expect to get a customer on the first day, let alone the first five minutes—”
The door slammed open, showering Rarity’s tea set (and Rarity herself) with a deluge of water. “I need a poncho, stat!”
Rarity looked up, her mane hanging loose about her face. She eyed the newcomer: a pegasus mare with what looked like the entire visible spectrum of color in her mane. She shared a bemused glance with Pinkie Pie. “Can I help you, Miss…?”
“This is a clothes store, right? I need a poncho, like, yesterday.” The mare shook her disheveled mane, spattering water everywhere. “Gosh, I can’t believe this dumb town doesn’t have a weather team yet.”
She polished a hoof against her blue coat. “No worries about that, though. Rainbow Danger Dash is here to stay. Please, hold the applause.”
Rarity smiled. It was not grotesque, she told herself, merely uncanny. “I would be happy to supply the captain of our new weather team with a poncho. If you would just step this way so that I can get your measurements…”
Here's a story that's been on the back burner for a long, long time. I sorta got jump-started after seeing the canonical Hayburger appear in the "Twilight Time" episode. I also got jump-started when I realized that Pinkie eating at Hayburger could be really fun.
I hope you enjoyed it! 
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"Welcome to hayburger, home of the hayburger. Can I take your order?"
4129682
4129700 Remember P.O.O.P (Ponies, Order, Our, Paties).
Interesting take on how the three of them met. Pinkie was well in charecter and Rarity was built nicly into hers. Thanks for the read.
4129748
4129682
Not gonna lie, I was this close to making that my title.
4129700
Ha! That's one of the funniest Spongebob episodes, in my opinion. Fits with the story, too.
4129844
Thank you! I worked hard to capture Pinkie's spirit in this story, and do Rarity justice as well.
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
This is my new Headcanon as to how these three met. Well done, sir! Well done!
4129965
Ha! Really? I am honored that you think the story Headcanon-worthy.
Thank you very much!
4130105 No problem! I take my head cannon very seriously!
Keep up the good work!
4130326
"Only the best is good enough," as the folks at The LEGO Company say. At least that's what I try to do.
4130366 Oh? Maybe I'll meander on over to your user page, maybe see if everything checks out!
Came in expecting humor, but it turned out to be a double feature of a humorous, touching story at no extra charge.
4130400
That would be very cool, but I will remind you that I'm only human.
4130409
A story about Pinkie Pie can't really help but be a little bit funny, I think.
I'm glad you found it touching, too. It's the odd friendships that have the best origins.
4130443 They said that about me, though, and look at me now!
s3.amazonaws.com/ksr/assets/001/017/638/abd92997450de624447e0d2e63c8cc27_large.jpg?1381374977
"WELCOME T' BURGER SHOT MO' FUCKAAAAAAAA!"
This was good, really good. I really like your writing of Pinkie, just enough silly, but with a real personality.
I love the characterization of Pinkie in this.
People keep getting her wrong.
P.S. You typed "jungle" when you meant advertising "jingle".
4130493
You look great in a suit, but I can't say that cosmic horror has done your complexion any good.
(Unless that's Octodad's family portrait. In that case, you look like a man's man.)
4130588
4130615
Pinkie was sooo important to get right in this story. She's definitely one of my all-time favorite characters ever, and I wish she got a tad bit better writing in the show. I kinda wanted to give people the same big, stupid grin I have on my face listening to "Smile, Smile, Smile."
Oh gosh, that's hilarious! Rarity just had a whole marketing ecosystem tumble out of her mouth, huh? Oh, geeze. Thanks for pointing it out, Elric of Melnipony.
4130776 Thanks! I find that all these Sports Johnson products do wonders for my complexion!
4130836
If I may? A dab of Tartar sauce behind the... um... ears could do amazing things for your skin. Just sayin'.
4131093 *blurbs of sagely advice*
I would demand more first meetings please.
Yay, origin stories!
No small amount of feels, but man, Pinkie sure goes the extra mile to make ponies happy! Can't possibly not like her!
Ten bits is roughly in the neighborhood of US$15-20 based on what we've seen in the show. IE, it's a LOT of money. I'd lower than number to two or three to make it fit what you're going for there.
Umm...I don't think you know what a flash mob is.
I've been around people who did this. It's always frustrating. "Yeah I want a Big Mac..." "Sir, this is Burger King, not McDonald's..." Ugh.
This is reminding me of Clerks.
You mean like we've seen practically every pony ever do at some point, including a number of fillies?
You know, most people put dough INTO an oven, and don't take it out until it's bread.
This was a very good story. I enjoyed reading it. It's nicely in-character and it's an interesting exploration of potential pony pasts. Just be sure to smooth out the wrinkles I mentioned above.
I thank you for giving me my new head-canon. I shall treasure it greatly.
That was a delightful read
4131188
I would, too. I've got a concept in mind for Applejack and Rainbow Dash, but it's gonna take a while to plot, plan, and write.
4131264
Origin stories are the bomb, for sure.
Very much so. I really want to try and be more like her. I know I get enough opportunities every day.
4131920
Much as I like the number ten, I can see your point. "Two" works much better.
Oops. No, I didn't. Education, thy name is MyrthrilMoth.
This, at the least, was more or less intentional.
Ah. Yes, exactly like that. Let's fix that.
Oh, dear. That's awkward. I was going for some sort of "letting the dough rise" thing, but it didn't quite manage to make its way into the story. I'll fix the wording right away.
Thank you very much, and thank you doubly for the advice. I made the adjustments as soon as I could.
4132245
I'm glad you enjoyed the story! Hopefully the show will give us a few Rarity/Pinkie Pie scenes to compliment your new headcanon.
4132819
Thank you. It was a delightful story to write, too.
4130366
That's a fantastic motto to have, Hobb. And from the looks of this story, I'd say you're living up to it.
4133526
Thanks. I'll never stop trying.
hay-oh
4133967
May I take your order?
Characters spot on AND a compelling back story that doesn't rely too heavily on the mystical aspects of Equestria? MINIMAL REFERENCES to the show?
You've made yourself a new fan, good sir. I love the living bejeezus out of this story.
4147705
It's hard talk about magic, destinies, and the like when your characters are flipping burgers for a living. But it does let you focus on the character's personalities, which I've always seen as very important.
I'm a firm believer that good stories should run on their own steam. At least, for the most part.
Thank you very much! It's great to hear that you enjoyed the story.
Really enjoyed that.
Put a smile on my face for sure.
I loved it!!!
This is possibly the closest to canon for all three of them that I would have ever seen. You're put this in perfectly: Rarity basically flipping burgers and living at home with the folks while she's trying to make her dream work, including a baby Sweetie Belle, Pinkie just leaving her family's rock farm for literally sunnier pastures (I definitely can see Pinkie as a drifter, but surprised that she made Ponyville her new home), and at the very end, we get to see Rainbow Dash show up, right on time to take the job as weather manager.
I truly love the interaction with Pinkie and Rarity. And it certainly shows how Rarity started her building/business in a town that basically didn't wear clothes that much. I have a little criticism though: The Rarity we all know and love have never mentioned Canterlot until she met Twilight Sparkle. But the Rarity in this story apparently has had her eyes set on Manehattan since she was a filly. I have to wonder---when did that change? Not to mention, she said she's wants to move there because ponies wear clothes there. If Manehattan is like New York, then that would be ridiculously expensive for Rarity to stand out. Pinkie has a lot of good points with her staying here in Ponyville but starting her boutique.
Pinkie definitely flipped Rarity's cynicism into optimism and hope. All Rarity saw is a town that barely needs clothes, and she's been here her entire life and wants to leave ASAP. Pinkie sees it as "something that nopony in town actually has" l.E. one-of-a-kind, unique, exclusive.
Rarity even said it herself: Ponyville has no market for clothes---Pinkie flips it, saying that Rarity has "no competition"; in Manehattan Rarity would have to compete with literally hundreds of other designers trying to find their way. 
You know what?? As much as we have seen that the Sonic Rainboom that RD put it off back when she was a filly was THE moment when all the girls would be together, I adore that this is a concept of how they met, and we haven't even gotten to Applejack or Fluttershy yet!! How else would Pinkie know that by helping this gloomy unicorn(Rarity) in getting her off the ground, it would lead to meeting Rainbow Dash.
And finally, that is definitely something Pinkie would say---giving away a significant amount of whatever savings she could have and made this as a commission (a paid job) to someone whom she didn't even know. Maybe the Pinkie Sense was definitely something to it.
4177658
Awesome! I'm glad to hear it!
4178092
Thank you very much!
The show goes back and forth whether Rarity is more in love with Canterlot or Manehatten high-society. I decided to make her goal Manehatten because, while Canterlot is clearly rich, the ponies of Manehatten wear a great deal more clothes (as seen in "Rarity Takes Manehatten"). I thought about having Rarity mention Canterlot as a place she'd like to go, but I wanted it to sound like she actually had a choice made. Like she actually had stuff planned out.
Yes it would be expensive, but that's why she was saving up in the first place.
And really, there's a million ways it could have gone wrong. We might have seen Rarity become the next Coco Pommel if Pinkie hadn't shown up! 
This was a very interesting story!
I never really thought about how the mane 6 may have first met each other (other than Twilight, of course). This story did a good job entertaining me with a goal-oriented Rarity working her tail off to achieve her goals. I liked how her pride pushed her to refuse help from her family and how, even though she was working with a goal in mind, she was having a lot of trouble just dealing with her current job. Then of course, Pinkie was just awesome. She came in and just got Rarity back on her hooves when she really needed it and they became best friends because of it.
I wonder if the characters' youths or first meetings will ever be explored in the show itself. If not, I can always rely on stories like these.
This was a lot better than I thought it would be. Thank you for the wonderful story!
4242972
I've found pride to be the source of most of my problems, whether it's mine or someone else's.
I kinda doubt it at this point, after doing "Cutie Mark Chronicles" in season one and nothing at all in the next three seasons. Doubt it, but I wouldn't say "No."
That said, pre-episode one has always been one of my favorite settings. I think we need more stories about that.
You are the second person in as many stories who has told me it was better than they expected. This either means I'm pushing boundaries, or I'm doing a bad job with my story descriptions.
Which do you think it is?
Thank you for the comment. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
4244403
Your descriptions aren't bad. I think you are pushing yourself as a writer and it shows.
Perhaps it is because Rarity's situation is quite relatable that it adds to the impact of the story. I myself have dreams I am working for on the side while I have a job I am not to fond of.
My expectations were affected by the picture and the intro. But I didn't imagine there would be such a deep moment in Pinkie Pie supporting Rarity in her time of need and actually being so generous. I was unprepared for that and that is why I got so much joy from reading it.
4247297
Thank you. It's very important, because if I'm not pushing forward, I'm sliding back.
Aha! I see what you mean now. I'm happy that I was able to surprise you with the good kind of surprise! The best kinda surprise!
This is one of the best stories I have read in my time on this site. Good job. I'm going to check your other stuff.
4277010
Thank you for the compliment! It was a pleasure to write.
I hope you enjoy yourself. I'm doing my best to improve with every story, but history has yet to judge me on that.
This is really good.
Wow. I was not expecting to be as blown away by this as I ended up being! Great story full of humour and heart! Not to mention baby Sweetie Belle is probably the cutest thing I've ever seen described with words! I think I'm going to have to check out the other stories in this continuity now as well!
4757849
Thanks! I really do feel that this is one of my best. It almost scares me, even if I know it's not perfect.
Sweetie Belle is hands-down my favorite part of this story. She was so much fun!
It's actually not so much a continuity as a running theme. For instance, the story about Pinkie Pie doesn't mention Maud because the story was written during season three. I've been thinking of rewriting it to correct names, though.
They're still strongly linked by that whole "Friends before FiM" theme. I know they're rough, but they were the best I had when I wrote them.
At the sound of Rarity’s voice, Sweetie pulled herself away from the knob and squeed, a ginormous smile on her pudgy little face. She trotted/wobbled up to her big sister and wrapped her hooves around her foreleg.
Not fair. That was just not right. This is a SL story. You can't just DROP A TON OF FEELS out of the blue like that!
Great origin story. Doing two ponies at the same time like that and how one led to another was just magical.
(EDIT: no spoilers but meant to say 3 ponies, but that's another story for another time!)
You certainly are a pretty diverse writer. Love your works!
4866454
Watch me, Telaros! Just watch me!
Thank you. I'm really super-happy with how this story turned out. I'm glad you enjoyed it, too!
Thanks! I've learned that in order to grow as a writer, you need to push your own boundaries all the time. I want to eventually write a story in almost every genre, just to get a feel for them. If I work on each idea individually, they'll be even better when they're part of a larger story!
4867218
It's always a good feeling finding authors with this kind of mentality. Reminds me of Bootsy Slickmane. Sure, he writes mostly deconstructions, but he does some great comedies and parody stuff on top of other more serious topics like his Insomnia DT story and his Trixie's Clubhouse, latter of which I often wish was a long running story beyond a contest entry.
You're a fun writer. I hope to see you pull off that dream story that includes all the core elements to what makes great stories. Hell, hope someday in my life I get to see you publish something of your very own! I'd totally buy with a smile knowing "I used to read this person's fanfics!" even if its just a small self published work and ends up not going far, it'd still be a pretty neat and worthy thing to own in my opinion.
But before then, I do hope to see more and more pony stories from you.
I'm not sure if you've written any in your 25'ish stories, haven't come close to reading many yet, but I would LOVE to see a honest to goodness MYSTERY fic, a sort of drama you'd see in one of those old detective movies, only with ponies as we know them in such a situation. It's such a hard genre to get right it seems, that or not many seem to enjoy writing them.
In any event, wish you the best in your writing exercises! As a reader who merely drinks in other people's works faster than they can write it, just wanted to let you know how much reading good original and well thought out stories like these that I really appreciate the effort you and many others that do, put into your stories to and share it with us all.
Thank you for writing so much pony pony pony!