- Member Since 4th Jul, 2012
- offline last seen March 15th
Distorted Flare
King nigger lord of the watermelon, duke of the chicken realm, high almoner of the grape cool aid of the Nile, has no tolerance for white people.
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I'm going to enjoy this new story.
This is gonna be good, eagerly awaiting the next chapter!
I really wouldn't mind editing since I am a hardcore grammar freak and it really bugs me to see mistake. If you gave me a chance to correct spelling mistakes and the like, I would be very happy and hopefully so would other readers c:
IT BEGINS!!!
Yes! Part 2!
Just thinking about this story last night. Glad to see its back up.
The angels sing a hymn of Hell yes!
monster you say.....
can I fill out le application
Wait where's the sex tag? There has to a sex tag PLEASE!!!
i dont mind a lack of clop, i actually kept reading the first one cuz i loved the storyline and im super super happy that a sequel has been written x3 and i keep imagining the lich, who i assume is Lachlan, looks like the Lich King from Adventure Time xD
A Lich! NOOOO! Hopefully the others can save him from this horrible fate. And no sex? Say it isn't so.
He become a lich!!!!!???/ noooooooo this will be very sad story
3958606 Don't you mean an...App-lich-ation?
So Lanchan…evolve? And now he is more powerful, stronger, and possible smarter that he once was? Je oh boy Sunset better be careful, because if Nightmare Moon was in rage, I don't want to know what a super Lanchan with powers that shallow alicorns and god of chaos rage will be like, oh perhaps Lanchan know the penitential STARE.
P.S: Since you mention that everyone is going to try to hurt him, does that mean that he will have to beat down 5 alicorns? Je well in Nightmare, Molestia and Chrysalis case they kind of deserve it. And Celestia better listen to him know, males are the weakest sex on Equestria? not anymore
is that who i think it is?
troll.me/images/pissed-off-obama/im-back-bitches.jpg
3958988
You mean the imagine? It kind of looks like Sauron
awesome story dude.
yes yes so it continues
You literally have TWO STORIES FEATURED AT THE SAME TIME.
How in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD DID YOU DO THIS?
Will the love that his mares have for him be enough to save his soul and his life or will they fall to his power and let the darkness corrupt him?
I look forward to reading this but I was hoping you'd finish darker paths first.
Eww, anthro
3959155 He wrote stories about over powering amounts of fuck.
I am going to enjoy reading this story. And the start of the story was interesting I give you that man. I mean with an Lich. nothing is more badass than a lich case and point, the LIch King from WOW. just look how long they took to kill him.
3959427
Well, that about sums it up.
It's back. Lachlan seems to be back in Equestria without his pre-ordered Halo 3 special edition XBox 360. Truly, the tragedy of his (un)life never ends.
I'm rather concerned about the whole amnesia thing and how it will affect the story since Nightmare just flat out said that liches are evil things that need to be destroyed.
Oh, and keep up the good work, I'll be wanting to read more of this.
So this is a squeal to the The Scent: Lust of Mares?
Just a few errors like mi instead of miss. Oh and I was never here got it?
oh boi, here we go again :3
At last!
I like the sound of that title!
This sequel looks like it'll have a lot of potential to it. Looking forward to seeing future chapters.
3958506 Perfect you are hired
A lich? Um.. yes.
No offence, but why does this have so many likes?
This story is a mess of unexplained random crap, lacking sorely in anything resembling punctuation or grammar. This is like a literary fever dream.
Man you need to add some POV's to this cause I had trouble figuring out who was talking at each part.
3960213
...Yeah, NO OFFENSE!
3958957
YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Heaven is having a hell of a time Lachlan is on parade
S***'s about to get REAL!!
You know, I'd almost wanted to kill you.
Glad I didn't.
3960213 Exactly.
uhhhh how is hey saopce to get laid without a blood or flesh
3960327
Hey, don't question the all powerful phrase "No offence".
It protects you from being held responsible for anything you say, and forces whoever it is addressed to, to not be offended.
But in all seriousness, I was giving my honest opinion. I am not trying to be spiteful or just randomly flame the author. The story is just awful.
3961088 Yet you know that by calling it "awful" you will receive minor back lash maybe a few harsh words from the people who like this but if the author replays with anything from fuck off, I really don't give a shite or most of the time fair enough people are all in tilted to there opinion he will be heavily scrutinised.
I really am at a point where I fail to see why people hate this so much. Fair enough it isn't to your taste but there is never a medium with people like you its always awful, god awful unreadable and so on. I am not trying to proclaim myself a proper writer so take it for what it is a guy who is trying to get better. So how about this you write a story and I will judge it mix things up a bit. Big thing is though is that I don't get paid to do this I don't do it for the fame . Hell no writer does it for money or fame, we do it because we like writing. I have kids who need 24/7 looking after and when I finally get a small break I like to write because I like to contribute my ideas to the fandom. Hell it might be bad but tell me why it is bad. I write this nearly every chapter of every story I have written. how can I improve. The reason so many people like this is because I interact with them have a laugh ask them how I can improve.
So if you give me the faults of this I will correct them that is the point. Why else do you think I write that at the bottom.
3961664
I already stated why I think the story is bad. I didn't just say it is bad and give no real feedback to be a dick. I am generally generous, or at least fair in my criticism and my feedback. Though I tend to only read stories with a positive, or at least equal like/dislike ratio. So I obviously don't leave feedback on those stories, this story perplexes me in that it has such a positive ratio. That is why I have left incredibly negative feedback instead of just ignoring the story like I typically would.
But that aside, this story is beyond the point of real improvement with just giving feedback. You would need to go back to English class, and read a decent amount of literature to really improve. I am not trying to make you feel bad, unappreciated, or flat out insult you. I am telling you the honest to god truth. This story lacks even the bare bone structure a story should have. There is little I could do to help you improve short of writing a paragraph of criticism for every sentence in the story.
3961803
This story is a sequel. Have you read the first story?
Intriguing storyline, and the story's grammar is much better compared to the first one. However, I suggest that you indicate the POV that the reader switches to, as it is quite jarring when I abruptly switch to another character's POV without warning.