• Member Since 4th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Monday

Distorted Flare

King negro(Spanish word for black so not racist) lord of the watermelon, duke of the chicken realm, high almoner of the grape cool aid of the Nile, has no tolerance for white people.


Comments ( 156 )

5652685 Does it have the butt stuffs in it?

5652696 butts stuffed with marshamllows:heart:

5652712 What's the matter, commissiar?

Oh Distorted Flare, you with your humans and anthro. :raritywink:

5652843 Celestia is his waifu.

5652712 would you feel better if the character was named Alex and not David?

5653230 I have no fucking clue.

5653220 Whoa! Baby got back!

Great chapter. The scene was hot...I wonder how Luna'd react if she were to find out about what happened between David and Celestia.

Wrong icon.

Nah, as long as he is 100% pure human i'm totally ok with it.

5653403 I see. Simple mistake, then. :twilightblush:

Saving that pic, not reading story XD

Very well written, and the story was overall very good. Two thumbs up, man.

5653403 Yet you did not answer my question.

5653569 lol sorry well looking at the likes vs dislikes, and it was a notification that notified me of the story I have to say the pic was the more interesting, I was in the middle of reading something anyways, sorry if I was rude. Just wanted to see if one of my other stories I read were updated, Im not too much of a fanfic reader.

Having read this before it went through Abyss, Rated, and 101, I'd say the editing marks a heavy improvement over the draft you showed me. Like, I got rather turned on from reading it this time around. I was more immersed, eh?

Thousands of mares and stallions had made marriage proposals to her, and she had rejected each one. Given how old she was, it would be more akin to cradle robbing than marriage.

I still think this line is fucking hilarious XD

Comment posted by Distorted Flare deleted Jul 4th, 2015

5653588 You do realize that regardless of what I write I am guaranteed to get at least 16 dislikes from people that have made it clear they do not like me. the 11 likes are most likely down to the subject matter rather than skill as I have had great proof readers and the plot is if you don't mind me saying good.

sadly people will down vote things solely for it being human, anthro or human on anthro/ pony.

I removed a few old contacts on skype. Apparently i you were one of them.:twilightblush:

5653726 And demoting me on the humans are superior?



I'd just like to say: if it were done for a reason, I'd get over it.

I allowed my body to slowly wake up, a process I would have been far happier with had I been able to delay it until noon.

You and me both, buddy.

When I had first arrived in Equestria, I had been naked and confused. A typical Friday night for me

Top fucking lel

bastard offspring of a diamond dog and an ape.

With the way people act in general these days that's pretty spot on.

Insulting a woman who stood far taller than me and had thighs as thick as my waist was stupid at best and suicidal at worst.

Snu snu!

got to see the princesses in yoga pants

I love seeing women in Yoga pants. Except fat women, then it's like watching yogurt jiggle everywhere.

With Luna sick from equi-pox

Wouldn't it still be chicken pox? You don't see poultry calling it human-pox.

icing around her muzzle brought a smile to my lips. Smeared icing was also present on her dress

Are you sure it's icing? :trollestia:

“Oh it has been a while since somepony has used that hole,”

Understatement spanning three and a half millennia.

This sounds an awful lot like the story I read recently...:trollestia:


Celestia, someone who weighs approximately 600 pounds, or 3 times as much as David (i'm going to assume that she is, at least 8 feet tall, and going off of that i'm going to assume that her vagina is also very large compared to a normal humans, so then why the heck was David able to please Celestia so easily?
I'm also going to assume that his penis is average in size, since he is also average is height. which makes it even harder for me to believe him pleasing Celestia so easily...

My whole body trembled with the effort of holding back my orgasm as I pounded into Celestia’s tight cunt.

Not sure how it would be that tight considering the size difference...

Pulling them out, I used the juices to lube myself up for our next round. I motioned for her to turn over, gaining a naughty grin from Celestia.

Did he not just fuck her? isn't his dick lubed enough already?
Seems kind of pointless

“Oh it has been a while since somepony has used that hole,” Celestia chuckled

I... what

This story was fantastically Meh, for me.
Not going to downvote it though, I see no reason to, not yet.

5654129 Actually I pictured her at about 7.2 at most. 600 pounds was more of just a rough estimate. she would most likely only be around 420 or 460 at most. Also I have dated tall chicks before the tallest being around 6,5 and we had no problems. So really I always in clop try to make the humans moderate in size so no ten inches bullshit. But at the same time I also take into account that the anthro equines I write are nearly identical to humans so really a women can get pleasure from about 4 inches with the right girth so would it really be a stretch for an alicorn of 7,2 to get pleasure from six to eight? Also I do not design the genitalia like horses never have unless they are feral.

In regards to the size of her bits. Is it really a stretch to imagine her: A just natural being tight, B Magic, or C having not had action in a three millennia has made her tight. At the end of the day if you treat this like it is a real sex/ romance novel then remember that this is a story about a dude fucking Amazonian anthro horse women from another world. Horse women who can raise and lower the sun and moon and can fly and use magic.

I appreciate the review all the same though and a "fantastically Meh" is still a one up from just meh.

It getting better than faster.

Nice chapter but I keep wondering, why you keep doing the same thing with giants womans, that are virtually god and puny human that is weaker than baby?

Not complaining just honestly asking, and asking if you ever wonder doing something different like normal human and ponies, or perhaps that 'puny human' is not a puny and he can evolve because of magic so they get in equal ground or something?

5654446 hey in my defence I have done feral as well and also normal sized mares.

Again not complaning just asking, and what about humans? have you ever write about a story where there are in equal grounds? or something in the lines where the roles are slightly reverse? like a mare that actually enjoys being dominated, or a human that goes super power for a short time and go down on a mare, and when I mean down I mean DOWN time, to leaves of 'HOLY SHIT' the room was destroy.

If not…have you ever consider it?

The instantaneous switch from exhausted and sleepy (the hint was them being friends, her being tired, him being irritated but caring) to nearly mindlessly horny when they fell down was annoying, imho.

There's a chunk missing in there where there's some buildup and character building to make me care about these two.

.. and isnt Celly a bit too heavy in the first place? 600 pounds for a 6'5 humanoid would make them have scary inhuman proportions everywhere.

That would make coupling difficult, and likely risky for his health; she could break ribs and cause quite a bit of pain when they go at it.

5654490 That will be explained. in the sequel sorry for some of the strange concepts in the story.

Cool and he will made peace with Luna? I really hope they can made peace finally

...meh. It's alright, managed to get the story across rather well, and gave me some sweet ass hue imagery.

There were a few awkward spots where sentences randomly ended as fragments, but other than that this is a pretty good story. Still curious on just exactly how dense the princess is to have that kind of weight at that height. Should be more like 3-400 at most, and be closer to 7', in my opinion.

Regardless, pretty good story. I give it a 7.5, almost 8/10.

Since people keep mentioning the image, maybe you should have given the source?

pretty good story. i like that he has been there for years and it took him quite a while to open up. maybe should have explored that but you probably where going for a quick one-shot clopfic which is perfectly fine as well.

not much else to say but i do agree with the points twad brought up.

This story somehow reminds me of a guy I used to know who once scored an incredibly hot girl in real life and then posted a fanfic about an OC who scored an incredibly hot female character (from naruto I think) a few days later in a subtle way to brag about it to the random people of the internet (and his friends who made the connection and were unable to stop hearing the end of it for weeks) for some inexplicable reason...

This time though I hope the story stays up and doesn't get taken down as a punishment for a fixed bet made in a Super Smash Bros. battle where everybody ganged up on Captain Falcon...

That is an incredibly convoluted method of bragging...

Now we need a Celestia x Luna x Cadance x R63 Shining Armor X Human story.:pinkiehappy:


Hell yeah it is. But it's still just as annoying as bragging usually is if you happened to find out the reason he made the story in the first place, which really isn't all that hard if the guy mentions it in practically all of his PM's about it... Or maybe just the ones he sends to the people who know about the whole thing now that I think about it, probably because he just loves pushing someone's berserk button. Still, it's even more of a pain if you happen to be friends with him and he brags about it in real life as well...

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