Millions of Peaches... just one for me.
Princess Twilight Sparkle Eats Peach
By: Wanderer D
Because: To hell with it.
It was a warm and charming morning, as all mornings were when witnessed from the high towers of the castle.
Little had threatened the realm since their heroes had defeated that disproportionate lizard or any of the random little things that attacked it, from nightmares to creatures capable of turning into someone else.
But alas, peace was not meant to last. With a cracking boom that broke just about every window in the palace, the sky split apart, a violet-red vortex of energy forcing it’s way through reality itself, creating tornados and blasting trees and citizens through the air.
The princess stared in utter incomprehension as the first purple limb, looking like a titanic, monstrous furry tube, it slid through the crack while muffled-yet-loud noises that she recognized as voices seemed to pound against the very sky in alien urgency.
More cracks, and it seemed as if the sky itself were made of glass, for pieces crashed onto the ground, destroying the little houses of her subjects as the limb, enveloped in that same violet-red energy pushed to the side, creating an even larger gap as something… ballooning followed. Purpple and pink strands of… hair… as thick as the towers of the castle themselves billowed in the winds of the dying world as purple orbs as large as oceans scanned the world below them.
The...thing… roared something that disintegrated the nearest beings and reality around it, but the castle was far enough for the princess to understand what it was bellowing…
“PEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAACHHHHHHHHHH!”
Princes Peach gulped, turning around and walking into her bedroom, before closing the curtains behind her. Perhaps after she drank some tea, the thing would be gone. Maybe… maybe Mario would come to the rescue.
“Um… Toad?” She called delicately.
The door banged open and Toad himself ran in. “Yes princess?! Do you have a plan?”
“Yes! Please call Mario and Luigi and have them dispose of the interdimensional monstrosity.”
Toad blinked. “Um, they already are trying, your highness. I gave them a sack of stars so that they could stand a chance.”
“Oh!” Princess Peach smiled, her hand shaking slightly as a tremor in the distance an a roar that sounded disturbingly just like her name shook the room. “That’s splendid! They should be done soon an—”
Something red burst through the window, spinning in multi-colored light until it smashed onto one of the several marble pillars that decorated the room.
“Mama-mia!” Mario groaned as he slid down. “That-a-thing! It is a-too much! Come mi occupo di questo, senza uccidere unicorno o senza il mondo viene distrutto?”
“Are you using a translating mushroom?”
“What? I am not really Italiano! I just vaguely sound like one!” Mario groaned, shaking his head.
His eyes widened and he ducked to the side before the green meteor that turned out to be Luigi smashed into him, letting his brother taste the cold spice of marble pillar instead.
“What does it want!?” Mario asked, glancing out side as the gigantic unicorn-creature smashed the world in it’s route to the castle.
“PEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCHHHHH!”
“I think it wants the princess!” Toad offered helpfully.
The plumbers looked at the Princess.
“Princess a-Peach,” Mario started. “Maybe, you might a-want to talk to the unicornio.”
Princess Peach glared at the plumber. “Why don’t you stop it first and then I can reason with it from a position of power?”
“PEEEEEEEEAAAAAAACH!”
“Princess,” Toad begged. “Please! For your kingdom!”
“Ugh,” Princess Peach put down her china. “Fine.”
She stood up and regally walked to the balcony, violently opening the doors and stepping out, right into the sight of the unicorn, who stopped and regarded her with an oddly twitchy expression.
There was a moment of silent contemplation, interrupted by the sounds of alarms, screams and pieces of sky falling around them.
“Creature!” Princess Peach called. “I am Princess Peach! You came looking for me! What do you need?”
The unicorn started salivating and revealed previously hidden wings as she opened them wide, obscuring the world around them. “PEEEAAAACCCCHHH!”
o.0.o
Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom huddled against the wall while the tv in front of them echoed with the screams of dying toadstools and plumbers. The discarded controllers twitched and rumbled with each resounding crunch and plea for mercy until all was silent.
The screen shuddered and through the violet portal, Twilight Sparkle’s hooves pushed out, followed by the rest of her body.
With a flick of her tail, she turned off the TV and the WeeUnicorn system.
“Well, girls, you were right!” Twilight giggled. “Playing this game was fun! I had never attempted an interdimensional spell straight into a game, but it was very educational!”
The three fillies nodded dumbly, still staring at Twilight, who coughed and burped out a little tiara that landed on the floor and bounced up to them. They tried to scramble back away from it.
“Oops!” Twilight giggled again. “Sorry, girls! Eating peaches sometimes makes me burpy. I do apologize!”
The Crusaders nodded dumbly once more.
“Well,” Twilight said, giving them an odd look. “I think I’ll get ready for bed.” Her eyes lit up. “Heeey! If you learned a lesson today, you should write it down and send it to Princess Celestia!”
The Crusaders nodded once more.
o.0.o
Sipping her tea, Celestia prepared to relax and finally forget the challenges of the day. Thankfully, her sister could handle the night-owls
She smiled benevolently when a message poofed in front of her.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Twilight has a problem. A very scary, unhinged problem.
~Sweetie Belle (Sniff)
~Apple Bloom (Ever so glad to be an Apple and not a Peach)
~Scootaloo (Please don’t ever let us stay the night here again!)
Celestia raised an eyebrow, until another scroll poofed into existence in front of her.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I discovered that playing videogames with the Crusaders is really fun and conducive to new experiences! Not only is it a wonder of technology, it actually inspired me to try an inter-dimensional spell! Who knew peaches in other worlds were so crunchy and chewy!
Your Faithful Friend,
~Princess Twilight Sparkle
The End
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1.bp.blogspot.com/-vpE6uMJ37dk/UOScrne47aI/AAAAAAAAEL4/Ki-4IWO-SoY/s1600/ron-paul.gif
This is going to be a classic. I can feel it.
y
Well. This exists. Time to find a vorechan to share it on.
Here comes the third featured peach story! Fill up the box, mates!
wants. I think that's the only thing that stood out.
3646745 Thanks!
3646753
If only we could get every peach story enough heat to reach the featured box! PEACHDAY AHOY!
I'm actually waiting for my third one to pass moderation So...Much..Peaches..
What's next? Twilight Sparkle gets eaten by a peach?
3646808
It will be done! Expect it posthaste! FOURTH PEACH STORY AHOY!
I don't know what this was for sure, but I think it's going in my mental folder labeled "Brain Bleach." The only way this could have been better is if it tied into TSC somehow.
Millions of peaches... peaches for free
Crap. I was kinda expecting clop.
No period
: "My Celestia... I taste DELLLLICIOUSSSSS!"
I hope she doesn't develop a taste for princesses.
WANDERER. LEGIT MARRY MY PLS. Peach is like, my 2nd favorite Mario character. Also this is the 2nd fic I've seen today starring Peach. Odd.
img547.imageshack.us/img547/4411/bsib.jpg
I don't know what to say about this. So, I give you this video I found on YouTube.
God damn it, Obselescence.
Just...yes.
K... *Backs away from Twilight*
HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE
...YEAS.
Um. Okay.
. . . . .
You'd think a story name like this would be on a clopfic. With the... yeah.
(honestly, I'm surprised it hasn't been done yet)
Man, I was just thinking about this too.
You know, that was weak. The idea is stale by now, the execution does not measure up to our usual standards and the - for lack of a better word - punchline leaves much to be desired.
I'm disappointed that you jumped onto that bandwagon at all.
Ah well. You can't win them all, I guess.
3647700 Or perhaps you just happened to read it several hours later when everyone else already did it and simply decided that it was stale because you've seen so many? Besides, I write for fun, not to other people's standards.
>vore
Well, uh... that happened. I'm going to back away. Slowly.
"Did they send out their princess to the insane unicorn?"
"And HOW! That's why they called it 'Castle Sensible'."
3647186 Peach looks like a teenager in that.
A better name would've been PONii U, but meh, to each their own I guess.
As for the fic itself . . . *injects head with brain bleach*
Damn, I should have looked around before writing my story, this specific pun was already used. To hilarious effect. Ah, well. This was funny.
am I the only one whose first thought was vore instead of the other kind of "eating" when I read the title?
3647762
Oh, I'm sorry, that was supposed to read "your standards", not "our". Doesn't change that much though.
3649729 Well... it does change part of the meaning of your comment XD
So, I enjoyed this. Was a fun little read. However it bears asking:i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/253/884/b47.png
Ok, I shall dare to ask. What just happened?
So there.
You have taken part on the peachmania too.
It's official.
Wondere D just got 20% cooler.
images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/33200000/20-cooler-rainbow-dash-33223460-645-645.png
~Leonzilla
the fuck...
XD
can someone explain to me what is up with the twilight eats a peach stories?
3650498
It may, and only just a little, have something to do with a recent news post and it's offered examples of story tagging.
I just have to wonder...what's with all the peach mania?
3650572
Dammit Opal your to blame for everything EVER :o
3650707 Go read the site blog about "Story-tagging Blogs". You will find your answer
What is with all the 'Twilight eating peaches fanfics.' I'm not upset because I'm enjoying all of these, but still did I miss something.
That random tag is well deserved.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3647417 *sprays with peach scent* Take him/her first, Twithulu!