I got to admit, I think that this is the better ending.

3582323
I like the fact she tried giving fluttershy a beat down....but not the fact that spike likes it. id prefer it to be the opposite and twilight completely obliterates fluttershy or gets princess celestia and luna to deal with fluttershy

I have to agree with Illumipony this ending was a tad more enjoyable than the other one.

Mental Note: Do not make Twilight snap because she was pretty creepy in this ending.

what.. the... buck

I actually like the other ending bettter... huh

bucking spike and his liking of sex

I mean sure Fluttershy deserved a beating after doing that to Spike.
But a fork?, in the Genitals?!

Huh. Plot-wise, this version is even more weird than the previous one.

1. Twilight shoves a knife into Fluttershy's perineum, inches deep. I'm afraid it'll cause some permanent damage to internal organs and the blood loss will be crazy. But no one gives a fuck.
2. Twilight theatens her friends with a knife. WTF. Why can't Applejack, who has a lot of strength, just kick her or at least try to stop her from murdering Fluttershy?
3. When Spike notices a knife and a fork sticked into Fluttershy, he's worried how they will fuck from now on. Really?
4. Pinkie with her birthday list. Just... no words.

The previous version, as cheap as it was, at least preserved the magic of friendship. This version, while more fair to Fluttershy (?), just doesn't feel right.

Personally, I would have preffered to see Fluttershy being punished fairly. Bound with ropes, harshly spanked, raped with a dildo, pissed on, shat on, whatever. But blood and damage and all this... I think I have to agree with other commenters that the story would have been better without rape. I don't mind rape stories, but here it feels completely out of place.

Sorry dude, but after the last three chapters I had to give a thumbs down. The story went from silly and amusing to terrible.

This story went from amusing, to outright horrible. Flutter rape? And everything else? Admittedly this is the better ending, the last one simply had me completely shocked into a stupor. I apologize, but I'll have to be withdrawing now.

Adding shock value to a story doesn't make it better! Especialliy in this kind of story. It was a fun, comical story of 6 friends sharing their experiences, but then turns to a dark tone when suddenly Flutterape. I can understand that you built up fluttershy's kink to be something truly shocking, but Fluttershy being FlutterSHY, she would be just embarrassed of revealing her secret kink, and making everything a bigger deal than it needed to be; I'm pretty sure that's what almost everyone else expected to see.

3582550 Why would she use it on Spike? It erases everything learned in the last hour, and Spike was asleep.

SEE LIKE THAT!!! You had clearly thought of it, so why wasn't the start of the last chapter and end of this one the only ending? Everything would have worked, we all would have been happy. With Twilight using a spell in the last chapter just made the whole story pointless, and her almost killing Fluttershy in this one, I just want to smack her. And it gets worse the more I think about it, the less sense it makes. Hey readers you know those secrets you have! Never tell your friends them otherwise they might try and kill you! Great message. You were so close to a good ending that it is a bit of a disappointment, I was worried that Fluttershy and Raritys fetish would just me a generic bondage thing but you slapped me in the face with that worry and told me to sit in the corner and not worry, I was so happy with Fluttershys chapter, was a bit of what I was expecting and so much more a shock it was great, then these. I still don't want to be a dick but compared to the rest of the story it wasn't as good. But over all I did enjoy it so a thumbs up for it all.

ummmmmm............Jesus

Also, if you gonna add alternate chapters, are you gonna make alternate when Rainbow dash did her dare to kiss spike? I know you just gonna make
alternate fetish chapters, but I want to see the alternate with a dare of Rainbow kiss spike. It goes like this: instead she puckered out her lips, which landed squarely on Spike’s nose, what if she really kissing spike with a passionate? The passionate kiss goes almost an hour, and after the passionate kiss, she bravely did her dare and rub applejack's face! (hope that make sense )

3582415 hey how often do men get castrated in stories where they do the shit fluttershy pulled. Answer me. I loved the fact she was mutilated here. Besides if zecora can grow a chipped tooth than surely there's something for brutalized cooches.

Nnnnh... Still problematic, the two huge points for me here were the group of friends doing all be nothing. In no way is it plausible for ponies like A and Dash to just stand there, shock or not, knife or not. Secondly., spikes reveal was just... Really mismanaged, he barely seems phased by what he sees done to fluttershy, and its all resolved to quickly. After the last chapter, I was looking forward to this one, because I thought the letter to celestia would go out and she'd get involved. This could have been a really interesting chapter, and I'd love to see it reworked and expanded. Overall, an entertaining read, even with the botched endings. I'm looking forward to more alternate chapters, should totally do vore... Not that I'm bias or anything :V

Now this is more the ending I was hoping for. It went almost exactly how I would expect it to, with two small exceptions. Threatening Rarity so harshly was a bit much, she could have just yelled 'shut up' and Rarity probably would have backed down. And Spike not showing more concern for Fluttershy's condition, just being worried about how the damage will affect sex was a bit cold. Overall though this was the ending that needed to happen.

Ha ha ha. Pretty damn ridiculous. Although, I feel that the point is somewhat ruined by Twilight getting as far as she did before Spike walked in. Imagine: Spike walking in, to see Twilight hovering a fork over Fluttershy, about to strike: wouldn't that be more poignant?

3580787 yes, but this is but a story. It was rather well written and just because you think it's bad because it is in real life dosnt make it bad here. I mean they have a while section dedicated to foalcon in the clopfics section. So writeing is nothing compared to the actual act.

Personally I find you should never judge a story because of what's it about but instead of how it's written. And again just before I send this so you can see. It's a world of cartoon ponys. And it's a story not real life.

I'm sorry, this story really hooked me with the first chapters up to Rainbow Dash's part. Twilight's was alright but didn't do anything for me and Rarity was... well odd, but my main grip is the last few chapters, mainly Fluttershy's fetish, the aftermath and alt ending. It didn't fit in with the story for me and frankly felt a little way OOC in all three chapters. Still, it was a fun read till the end, just didn't give me the satisfaction I was looking from it.

And another excellently written chapter. Even though fluttershy shouldn't have been that badly hurt or hurt at all because let's face it. We all knew Spike would've liked it after he understood it. I saw that coming from a mile away. The nicely detailed (light) gore is wonderfully written and I look forward to more from you.

Even as I liked in some way Twilight punishing Fluttershy for what she did to Spike, but shoving a fork in her marehood and a knife in the area between her marehood and anus? That was, in some way, extreme, I feel iin some way bad for Fluttershy, but she deserved punishment.

Ahahahah bravo bravo , I didn't expect any less from this writer.

I have four words. Sorry, three.
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?

This story took a fucked up and seriously out of character turn, unfaved and down voted..

Johnny and Jon have got my reactions covered.
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3582582
"Hey readers you know those secrets you have! Never tell your friends them otherwise they might try and kill you! Great message."

I don't know about you, but I would expect any right-minded person to go berserk if they just heard a close friend, a person they trusted, tell them that they raped and took advantage of another close friend. Not only that, but a minor and practically a family member. It's realistic. What Fluttershy did was deplorable. Though the violence feels a bit heavy-handed and I honestly doubt the other mane six would have sat there and allowed it to happen that way, I fully endorsed whatever punishment Twilight would see fit to give her as soon as I saw there was going to be an alternate ending.

Having Spike accept his victimization as just some normal thing that happened to him, however, is problematic on many levels. I'm done caring, though, and will forget about this story and the nosedive it took into crapsville within a matter of days.

Ok I said in a previous comment that rape is wrong but this is taking it to fucking far. Yeah Fluttershy deserved a couple smacks for it but going from a friend to trying to kill her is taking things a bit to far. I like the other ending better where they just forgot about everything and went back to being friends. Also grimdark and sex should never be mixed, it's sick and wrong.

Three chapters.

Three chapters.

That's all it took.

Three.

Dare I say it?

That escalated quickly.

Erm..... eh......
Sure yeah Fluttershy was dark and all and she did deserve like jail time or a few left hooks in the head, but making taking a fork then shoving it into her genetials and then taking a knife and stabbing Fluttershy in her perineum, now that...... that is worse than what she did to Spike. Infact Spike actually liked having sex with Fluttershy so Twilight shouldn't have been so comando-like on her....
Also that birthday list.... just..... ugh

wait, PINKIE KNOWS BOTH TIMELINES

No gore tag? Fair enough...

Actually, no. This needs a gore tag. This alt. ending came from nowhere. You gave no hint in the tags, and I feel this is completely cruel to your readers.

Please make me forget this chapter and never come back to it.

Wait...it's still incomplete?

This is just like the ending for Mass Effect, even though you tried to fix the original gripes with the first ending, it just didn't work out.

This story was so promising up until the last three chapters, and then you went down a very questionable path. The characters were pretty OOC, especially Fluttershy. However, the ending was still a huge cop-out, even though I could see them doing this to maintain the friendship. But, what's the point of writing a story if nothing changes by the end?

And then you have this. This is a Gigantic mess, but there are some main gripes I had with this ending.
So, Twilight becomes extremely angry at FS, and turns to violence, beating her on the ground. What does Twilight do? Well, she turns into a violent monster, and starts beating on Fluttershy. But this is not a realistic response. People feel more than one emotion when confronted with heavy news like this, and Twilight only exhibits pure hatred and rage. There is none of the sadness that is bound to come out of a realization like this, and this makes her both OOC, and completely unrealistic in her reaction.

What do her friends do? Well, we get one warning from Applejack, and the rest just stand there. Sure, you would be a little bit shocked about the story you were told, but Flutters is still their friend. They wouldn't just forget every experience they had in the past, and they certainly would not just stand there and let this happen. So, after the warning we get from Applejack, which she never follows up on, Twilight takes out a fork and knife. Honestly, pretty much no matter what one of my friends did to another friend, I would not allow them to cause physical harm to each other. Sure, with something like this, punching, kicking, and other forms of unarmed violence are bound to happen. But as soon as someone pulled a weapon, I would go in to break it up. And what do we get here? The four of them still just stand there. Except for Rarity, who offers only token resistance. Then, Twilight stabs her friend. with a fork. Then the knife comes out to play, and we have more stabbing. Sure, what Twilight, and more importantly, Spike, went through is horrible. But, she is causing permanent and irreparable damage to her friend. This is so much violence, and still her friends do nothing. Dash doesn't even get a line in this entire chapter.

Then, Spike comes down the stairs. If he was sleeping, he almost certainly would have heard the yelling, and gotten up before it went this far. Eventually, he makes his way to the room, walks in, and what does he do? He sees Flutters on the ground with a knife sticking out of her and he doesn't react. At all. He becomes slightly more confused, instead of outraged at what Twilight has done to Flutters. Even a sadistic laugh would have felt more real than what happened here. We get almost no reaction, except mild confusion. No rise, no sadness, no anger, no nothing. Nada.

Then we see his actual dialogue, and it's so OOC it's painful. He is acting overly mature for his age, and we don't even get clues until just now as to why. Case in point, this.

“Twilight!” He grunted. “How do you expect us to have fun if you ruin her marehood?”

Really? This is what Spike is concerned with here? Fluttershy is bleeding and in agony, and he's more concerned with petty pleasure? He's so cold, and emotionless, it physically made me cringe to read. And then we come to my least favorite line in this story.

All was silent for a good minute before Pinkie smiled and chimed happily. “Ooh! Just another pony goin’ on the birthday list!”

She just saw her friend get brutally beaten and violated right in front of her face. I understand you were going for the dark humor here, but this is about ten steps too far. Even for Pinkie.

I mean come on here! People honestly think this is the better ending? At least the first one semi made sense and the characters were still in character. This is just plain garbage.

It's better to write for yourself and make the story you want than to be influenced by your readers and popular demand. The story will end up a lot better than this did, trust me.

I can see where others are coming from, but I'm gonna have to join the minority here: I liked this ending. In fact, I liked both endings, but I prefer this one. Sure, both had their own problems, but the story as a whole was interesting and mostly well-written. Well done, sir.

No.... That was just bad. Spike didn't even care. Saying shit like "HOW DO YOU EXPECT US TO HAVE FUN IF YOU RUIN HER MAREHOOD?" and then the laugh track played in my head.

That was stupid.

I still really like this story though. The characters stories and fetishes are really funny/fucked up.

8/10.
The ending(s) were absolute goat shit. I didn't hate Fluttershy's fetish, that was okay, but everything after that was terrible. But I still really like it! Going into my favorites and up-voting.

This ending was, to be brutally and horribly honest, worse than the other ending. I'd like to see Fluttershy's fetish being something she considers totally degrading (like adult babies or waterworks), but not anything like this. Never this.

I liked this endng waaaaaaaaaaay too much. The other one was quite irritating.

Well crap, although I agree that princess Celestia should ave been the one to administrate quixk and HARD justice, I cannot complain about the punishment Twilight gave to Fluttershy and lets be honest I think it wasnt out of character at all. It is clear that Spike represents a member of Twilights family a son or a little brother. With this in mind ask yourself if you wouldnt do the same if you discovered that a friend, no matter how close, did this to your son or little brother. Of course you would, we all would its only natural to be infuriated and when we get infuriated we do stupid things.
The other ending was really the unrealistic one. Oh lets just forget about everything, that solves things. Thats crap, and for the ones that say that it preserves the magic of friendship, think about it again. Is friendship based on lying to ourselves? Well of course not, that is idiocy not friendship, its taking the easy way out, something that the Twilight we know would never do.
And to finish, I may be wrong, but I cannot help but to think that all the downvotes this alternate ending had are due to Fluttershy being a very popular pony, of course its going to get her fans uncomfortable or even angry. To be honest many wouldnt give a shit if the victim was Twist or even Spike. To be honest a lot pf the comments that were saying that the reaction was OOC or that this chaptet is bad based on that are quite lame in their arguments. To be honest I think that this ending is far more realistic.

Personaly i dont know why almost everyone else says that this is crap, but i like it. I think its just me, cause i really like weird stuff like this

3586362 When you say 'unrealistic' do you mean in the pony universe, or ours? Because there is a big difference there. For one, this was OOC of Twilight because, no matter what happened to her friends or Spike, she never REALLY hurt somepony. In fact, in the show Twilight does most of the damage to Spike. Sure, something like this would never happen in the show, so we can't know how Twilight would really react to it, but we can assume that she wouldn't due to the fact that of the times Spike was hurt by somepony else those ponies (and other creatures) didn't get a knife shoves between there fun spots. I am not saying this was poorly written, or was a bad chapter. No, I liked the emotional display, and despite all her friends just STANDING there watching Fluttershy get brutally hurt, it made sense to me from a real world perspective. Over all, a decent look into 'what could have been' and only a little OOC for them all, save Fluttershy who simply accepted her punishment, even after Spike came to save her from what could have been even worse.

That.... That was harsh. And everyone was really OOC. But it was so very very lol. (Which I think was kinda the point here.)
Probably needs a tag on it to stop delicate flowers from crying though.

On a related note: I don't think I have ever loved Pinkie more than this.

Wow....Honestly, you guys, I LOVED writing this story, though I will admit, Rarity and Fluttershy's chapters did feel awkward to write. I know it didn't take the best turn,,,, but damn. You're all harsh.
1. I wrote these chapters for shock value and TRYING to satisfy some people.
2. I gave you 2 damn endings that I worked very hard on. Hell, I foreshadowed to the first ending through Rarity's chapter. For people who don't get it:
PINKIE PIE PLANNED EVERYTHING. She knew she'd need the flower as a shield, she knew a fetish would be too weird that Twilight would erase their memories, just for the sake of satisfying her friend's fetishes once again at a party. She also knew the exact book that she would find the spell in AHEAD of time, so it wasn't just some random crap thrown in for the hell of it. Besides, we've seen multiple times in the show where Pinkie knows the exact book and chapter/page.
Also, the second ending was just a little something, yet I know a ton of you liked it better.
2. Honestly, I don't care if you don't like my fanfic.. I WASN'T WRITING THIS TO SATISFY YOU. At this point, I do wish I would have just given Fluttershy watersports, but what's done is done. The reason I didn't make it watersports was with one thought in mind: People would complain. "Watersports? Really? That's all this lead up to?" To which in response to the little voices is my head, I try to shock you all, and I just make you all pissed.
3. I get a LOT of stuff saying that Flutter's should have been punished by law. One little problem, though: THAT WOULDN'T TIE INTO CANON!
This takes place when Twi's still a unicorn. If I would have split their friendships, it wouldn't have made any sense with season four. I'm sorry if I didn't satisfy you all.
4. IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE MY STORY DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW DAMN AWFUL IT WAS IN THE COMMENTS. I have feelings, you know. Yeah, you don't fucking like it, but don't be so inconsiderate to think that someone, somewhere feels like absolute shit now because of all your negativity. Saying constructive things about how I could make it better is fine, but being a little dick and just saying it's shit with no reason fucking hurts.
5. Honestly, you've all been very supporting, and you've all been very sweet about this (up until now). Thanks for the support to all who've shown it.

I kinda was hoping she would have actually beat her to death..... I know it isn't funny to think about but I have two older sisters and if one of them got raped and I found out it was one of my friends, I don't think they would be able to use their legs after I got to them.

3586684
Yes she does most of the damage to Spike but she never ever does it on purpose and she never realizes she did it, and when it comes to other ponies, well I cannt recall one time when Spike is really hurt by any of them and even if they do, we cerainly cannot compare a simple accident or practically offenseless things to intentional sexual abuse that not only represents an abuse of confidence but something that can seriously hurt someone. And come on Twilight IS capable of reacting with violence when her family ( in this case Spike) is endangered, remember when she nearly killed Cadence in the cavern? You know the death beams and all. Although I have to admt that her friends are too passive in here (maybe Rarity would react in the same way that Twilight did.

Damn! This story was very well written. It started off with such normal fetishes and then it spiraled into a bunch of wacky stuff like fish and watersports. While this story did mkae me cringe quite a bit, I can honestly say that I still enjoyed it quite a bit, which is why it's staying marked a favorite.

3586846
The previous ending felt cheap, but it wasn't exactly bad. Many people just don't like when "and they lived happily ever after" quickly fixes all horrible things that have happened to that point. You make good points with continuity and Pinkie and stuff, but still, it's something to consider when writing stories: if something bad with serious consequences has happened, fixing everything with a single magic spell will be considered cheating. You know, like "everyone died, then Celestia appeared and resurrected everyone" on a smaller scale.

The primary problem with the second ending is that everyone acted out of character. The rest is the result of this. In the first chapters, the characters care about each other a lot. In the last chapters, one character almost murders another and the rest don't care. Bronies are known to be interested in the magic of friendship, so when a story about it switches into something very different, it's easy to understand their feelings.

Overall, I can give one simple advice: you shouldn't mix unmixable things. If you are writing a funny clopfic, you shouldn't switch midway to bloody senseless gore, and vice versa. Characters shouldn't randomly change personalities. Readers will complain. And it'll make everyone, including you, sad.

Saying constructive things about how I could make it better is fine, but being a little dick and just saying it's shit with no reason fucking hurts.

I'm afraid everyone is bound to receive shitty comments. You'll just have to ignore them (or learn to decipher them). No matter how hard you try to satisfy your readers, no matter what you're writing about, you'll see this sort of complaining. It's the nature of things.

3582323 Definitly.

Am I the only one who noticed that part of Fluttershy's head was TORN OFF?!?!?!

Wow. Even for me, genital mutilation is a bit much.