Phantom Shadow
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Hmm... I... I like this. Nice descriptions, everyone is in character, and we have the makings of some fine drama, comedy, and romance.
Faved to see more.
Also, am I right in assuming that there will be no actual clop?
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[which is funny because I tried to make this story more Teen than Mature, but whatevs 
].
Glad you are liking the story! No, there isnt any actual clop; what you just read in Chapter 3 was the extent of it
I like this story, mostly because of how realistic it is.
Something similar happened to someone I know, though every involved was legal aged, the dancer's family knew about it, and everybody laughed at the dancer instead of being angry. The dancer was also doing it just to buy some expensive clothing, as opposed to being forced to do it. In this case, however, since Applejack is still a minor and is doing this out of desperation, I'd be surprised and horrified too.
Keep up the good work.
EDIT:
To clarify, I meant that the concept was realistic. Things like Fluttershy puking, everyone having a car, or Applejack being able to lie to her family and not get caught for so long is pretty unrealistic.
Wow... I wonder why Applejack is doing this. And how she will explain all this to girls. I really enjoyed this fanfic, it was pretty realistic. Can't wait for more!
Hm, interesting. Like everyone else, I'm wondering how she'll explain this to her friends. I have my ideas on why she's doing it, but I'll keep them to myself for now. I'll keep an eye out for this one.
You have my curiosity. Let's see if you can get my attention
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As I stated, there are factual errors throughout that I hope to explain in a follow-up blog. I am aware that the parts you mentioned may seem unrealistic and I apologize for that; I am far from perfect and would never classify myself as being such. As far as the concept, realism was what I was aiming for.
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All will be explained in time.
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Well, I having a feeling that:
A) your suspicions my be correct
B) I will fail to get your 'attention' by the end of this fic.
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You can avoid making the blog if you explain the unrealistic parts in some way. The Equestria Girls universe is not our universe, so you should feel free to make some changes, then explain them in the beginning of the story.
You could talk about why they can all have cars, or why they can drive while still in high school. You could say that the driving age is lower, and you could show that Fluttershy is naturally squeamish when it comes to sexual matters. This is called characterization and world building.
If you do a good job of writing, most people won't really mind the changes to reality, but they will mind if there is no explanation. Ultimately, as long as the characters' reactions to the unrealistic elements are themselves realistic, it's fine.
Please note that I am not saying the story is bad, I am telling you how you could handle your unrealistic elements better. Keep going!
I seriously hope i'm wrong about the type of club it is
... no. Just... no.
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LOL!
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, vinyl gave me one for helping getting her a job in the canterlot nobles district... it helps with mind wiping and getting rid of house guests
well, it is interesting... but aj doing that? i had to amp up my wubs to 11/10 by using my SWEET base cannon!... sorry
I can't wait for the update
Things are winding down now, it would seem.
Y'know, for a minute there, I actually thought that the girls were going to help AJ by signing up at the club themselves. That would have been... a very interesting development, and I kind of want to see what would have happened. I don't suppose you could...?
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What did you expect, that the club owner would chase them down, forcing Rarity to open the trunk of her sedan and pull out an AK, a Mac11, two revolvers and a Desert Eagle, forcing them to shoot their way out of town?
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How would joining a strip club help Applejack?
3930303 More along the lines of "the story's going to end, soon".
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I know, I was just kidding.
Yeah, the story is almost finished; it wasn't meant to be a long story to begin with.
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Well, since you mentioned it...
derpicdn.net/img/2012/7/8/37271/full.jpg
Great chapter here. While I would never say no to more story, this is quite the novel little tale, with not a lot more to say. Great job.
3930303 They'd make even more money, which they would give (at least some of) to AJ.
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As valid as that is [and, might I add, enticing], this story was meant to serve a life lesson, and for the other girls to join would negate that lesson. Besides, it was hard enough for me to write Applejack's dance scene [this is my first time writing a scene like that], so it'll be even harder to come up with a different dance for each girl.
On the other hand, I would love to see Rarity pole-dancing in sexy lingerie...
3934255 You and me both.
I understand that it won't happen in this story, but maybe someone could write a spinoff/bonus scene?
This is a good effort for your first story. The writing itself was well structured and grammatically correct, with enough descriptions to help people visualize what is happening, but not so many that it slows down the story. The story, however, was predictable. People turning to prostitution and stripping because they are desperate happens frequently enough that we could see what was happening soon after the story started.
I notice that you said this story was supposed to be a life lesson, but you didn't really provide a solution that most people have access to. Not everyone has a friend who happens to be wealthy enough to own a business and hire other people.
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Firstly, I think you know this already, but this isn't my first story! This is the first (a) Equestria Girls story and (b) Mature story I've ever written. I have other literary works, but they are all garbage compared to this. It's at least good to know that my writing is improving, or maybe it's that I have more of a knack for writing EqG stories than I do writing MLP: FiM stories...i dunno!
Secondly, I know the plot was rather predictable and has probably been done a thousand times over. However, the idea kept pecking at my head [thanks to a certain song, which will be mentioned in the follow-up] and I had to write it down.
Thirdly, if you're referring to Rarity owning/operating "The Boutique" [I refuse to call it the "Carousel Boutique" because it doesn't look like a carousel], I'll have to say that you're wrong. Seeing that she's only a high school student, the most I can see her doing is being an employee there, or some kind of worker. I'm hard pressed to say that she owns the store!
Lastly, the life lesson isn't so much "you'll always have a friend with money that will help you out in any financial struggle you have." It's more along the lines of, "If you have any troubles, whether it's something as big as this or something as minute as -insert example here-, you can always turn to a good friend for support or help." [By "help", I mean, like Rarity in the story, recommending a job offering, maybe holding a fund-raiser, or whatever].
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My apologies. For some reason, I thought this was your first story.
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It's alright, mate.
You kinda missing a bunch of ?'s.
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Seriously? Okay, I'll fix them as soon as possible. Thanks for pointing them out!
In the meantime...
THANKS OFFICE 365 FOR HELPING ME FIX MY GRAMMAR, YOU USELESS PIECE OF CRAP!!
This is almost like "The Last Roundup" in a human point of view.
Pinkie, you're crazy.
I can understand Sunset's hesitation in choosing sides. Maybe she ought to... flip for it:
Collecting supplies, going with outta-town supplies... Maybe A.J.'s doing both, telling one half of the truth to her friends and the other half to her family. It would make sense, since she's the Element of Honesty.
Protest all you want, Rarity, but spying appears to be the only option left.
I can understand that Applejack isn't happy with whatever job she's into.
Pinkie, you need to calm down.
Come on, Sunset! Take up the offer and work at the Boutique!
"Dark Side..." Good name. Especially when it's a Star Wars ref!
Poor Fluttershy... Don't be scared.
Dashie needs to learn the value of patience. She's acting a bit like Anakin Skywalker nowadays, which is A.O.K. in my book.
Nice save, Sunset.
Poor Fluttershy can't stand the sight of it all, can she? To see her own future sister-in-law acting like this!
And the way she was treated by that jerk was monstrous! 
That's right, Dashie. Give in to your anger. Let your anger deepen your hatred.
I can see that Applejack's in too deep. Oh boy, when Principal Celestia finds out...
Trapped like the rat she is...
That flashback was pretty painful. Well done!
Aw... It's so good to know everyone understands what Applejack's been through.
I can see that Dashie would be quick to anger. Nice to see that she can also listen to reason.
Pinkie, you and your hats!
Tomorrow sounds good, A.J. Give your future sister-in-law time to dry her tears.
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Thanks, mate. I appreciate it...are you just copying and pasting the same comments over and over again?
4283485 Mostly to catch up.
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...at least you're honest about it.
4285874 Have I ever lied to you?
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I don't know. Have you? LOL!
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See description
Lovely jab at the end, there.
This was a good one.
The power of Friendship compels you!
It's only natural that A.J. would go to Big Mac first. Family is family.
If Big Mac felt something when he heard Fluttershy went down crying, he's kept his deeper feelings very well hidden. You get what I'm saying?
Glad to see Sunset's there to remind A.J. what she must do.
I just love tearful hugs.
Well, Sunset has learned something big about friendship, but I doubt she'll need to copy Twilight's methods.
Great story! Can't wait to see another EQG story from you!
If a club like that doesn't have set procedures for one of the punters suddenly blowing chunks, it needs them because I bet the booze alone makes it happen quite a lot.
One thing that occurs to me though: I really doubt AJ is legal. She's probably lied about her age to the owner; she may have even used fake ID to get the job. I'd bet that, so long as she is closer to 17 than 18, the owner wouldn't ask too many questions but now someone who knows her secret also knows about the job? That's trouble that he doesn't want or need.
It's an intriguing and, given AJ's pride, not-unthinkable situation for her to be in.
"Dear Princess Twilight... Your faithful student, Sunset Shimmer."
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Possibly literally! She got a direct hit from the Elements and that can change you in all manner of ways!
Rainbow Responsibility Professionalism Jeniffer Dash? No wonder she never uses her full name.
This was a good story. It's like an x-rated version of an Equestria Girls series on Fox.
Also, exactly is it about the latest Rainbow Rocks clip that ruined your head canon for this story? After reading it, I still don't know.
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]
], it was so small that I'm not surprised you passed over it. The clip shows that Applejack lives in a farm-like house with apple trees surrounding it, suggesting that she lives like her pony equivalent. Honestly, I can't see her living like that in this world. Yeah, both homes in the clip and in this story are in suburbia, but I can't see her lifestyle being the exact same as it is in "FiM"; I made it that her house was more modern and like everyone else. Make sense? Probably not, but if Shadow the Hedgehog can survive falling from space, then this makes sense! 
Thanks for the compliment, mate [...that was a compliment, right?
As far as the head-canon goes [be honest, that was the only reason you read this story, wasn't it?
While I can understand a little shock at her stripping i think everyone is blowing this way out of proportion.
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I could come up with an excuse for that, but this story isn't worth it
Thanks for reading, mate. Hope you enjoyed it at the very least!
Interesting info!
I'm looking forward to the next story. What could Fluttershy's addiction be? Hopefully, it's not narcotics.
To me, it'll probably be something like Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde. Like so: